hexed me - i want to slap you as you stare down at me in amusement.

i hate the infirmary.

goodness! what happened? the healer said, rushing over to my side.

duel in class got a bit out of hand, i'm afraid. miss berkley is rather clumsy. the lie slips out and drops heavy.

i glare, we both know well enough that's not what happened.

not that you care, you smiled when it occurred.

she snaps the bones in my leg back in place - cracking - i scream and i sink into the cotton.

your eyes glow at the sound.

after she leaves, i'm aching all over and you sit on the edge of my bed - i wish to kick you off and watch you plummet then splat.

someone's in a temperament.

my leg is broken.

your hand squeezes my thigh - tight - flesh swells - i wince - not anymore.

i wonder if all the other girls you've hurt hate you as well - if they hate you but love you regardless.

why do you do that to people?

the door clicks shut - we're alone - bitter wind creaks the panes - you twirl my hair.

because i'm bored.

i cave in at the statement - how blunt the force is - breaking me all over.

again and again yet i keep crawling back.

all you do is play games and all i do is offer myself up as piece. you shuffle me in your deck - picking the best ones - it doesn't matter - you hold me over a flame regardless.

we're in your room - i crumble like burnt paper in your hands - choking on soot - i can't breathe.

i'm crying and you love it.

i can't feel the fire in the hearth - you're searing - salvia dripping like lava - burning my tongue. knees bent - apart - an easel for you to paint your magnum opus.

i love you but i don't have the stomach for it - so i throw up the ink and hate you instead.

wrinkles in the bed roll me against you - pain and pleasure - dazed as rain pounds relentlessly. thomas. blood and muscle are pulsing and i feel like i'll explode.

the draft of my trembling touch lingers and drags along up your face into your hair - pulling - diana. you're attentive in brutality - everything hurts.

i hate you.

the torrent is maddening and i'm drowning - sucking down the water and my vision sparkles violet.

we did it in the dark, in the halls, in caved in rooms, vacancies, sheets, stone walls, void classes, hidden corners where we could hear the head girl doing her rounds.

diana.

i hate you.

fucking you passionately - roughly - romantically. it's wrong but the mere thought of your hands coiling up under my skirt has my heart seeping through the ribs.

the shocking tremors - screaming - thomas. you edge - push - i'm sinking - thomas - i scream into the pillow. mascara staining the silk.

knees cut up and bruised - jaw torn - swollen lips - heavy eyes and your thumb cuts away the tears making me bleed more. i look up at you like you're holy.

when your head rolls back - neck bending - pulsing - i see you swallow - gulp - ink pouring through - you're beautiful.

ravishing me whole.

i'm always eager - you indulge - but pick and sew the praises and insults alike into my flesh - i love it.

you adore watching the pomegranate seeds bloom on my skin.

it hurts - i'm dying - but don't stop - never do.

please.

say it.

i choke on your fingers.

say it out loud.

please don't stop.

sounds from your throat thunder - guttural.

we move like two dancers - strangers - caught up and gliding - steam rising off the skin - i wish i believed in god - we'll never love each other.

i know i'm alone.

i'm singular in this universe - light years away from you - but i can still see your shine - a dying star pulsing but it's long time passed - i'm only getting the remnants of moments that took place years and years ago.

i hate you.

i know.

you've fucked the hope out of me yet ironically your hands paint over my glowing body. tangled and breathless - tongue running over the constellations you've bruised into me.

i think about how simple this actually is - you light a cigarette - i watch the red streaks in your back contort - winter bites at the castle - rearing it's ugly head of white and decay.

you look at me, knife dragging my lips - you in hale - pull me close - hand knotted in my hair - heavy like sap - exhaling into me.

it burns - acidic - you hold me there - making me swallow.

tide pulling back - fog dances between our mouths - i cough - violence shaking my body - you smile at me sweetly and watch as the first crack takes place - splintering off into a million others like lighting broke the sky.

i think about dying.