《Slowtown [t.r]》present vi

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what do you want me to say, diana? i feel either way you'll be disappointed.

you're not special, you never were.

you shrink back at my thoughts.

wickedness was always my strong suit and i smile at you sweetly.

would you like me to say i got bored of you? that i hated you so much i just couldn't bare the idea of you living anymore? or that perhaps i was so enamored by you that the mere thought of you being with anyone else drove me mad? so i killed you to keep you to myself.

is that what you want to hear?

stop.

the closest thing to truth you'll get, diana, is that you don't matter. killing you was an action as simple and as hollow as scraping the mud off the bottom of my shoes.

i didn't say a thing but you heard me. i made sure of it.

hurting you was always a talent of mine.

you moved away from me now, standing by the fire. flames now blue. arms crossed over your chest as you stared into the hearth.

i grabbed a cigarette from the side drawer, placing it between my teeth.

you asked, i remind.

a scoff leaves your lips and you look at me - empty and opaque but there's pain. there always would be.

i'd left my mark in more ways than one.

don't blame me. all this happening now because you're still here.

all this is happening because you killed me.

true, but who's the one who chose to stay behind? who chose to prolong her existence even though she always whined about existing in the first place? enlighten me.

i hate you.

no you don't.

you turn away and i know i'm right.

your sentiment for broken and curious things had always gotten the best of you.

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why live your life in such cruelty?

the question catches me off guard, i tap the ash off into the tray before taking another inhale of nicotine.

i appraise you for a moment, you're so quiet now. i used to always be able to hear inside your head - all the noise all the screaming all the rambling.

although you could still speak - it was as if someone ripped your vocal chords out.

you've never seemed concerned about it before.

i didn't care enough to.

what changed?

time. i have lot of it now. it gives me time to wonder. before i was fighting the clock on my life without even knowing it... i turned a blind eye, i suppose.

my head tilts, curls falling against my forehead again. you were well aware of my character.

i know but - you shrug, turning to me again and you lick your lips. a habit no longer needed but it's ingrained in your nature. human nature. something you were now separated from.

life didn't feel real when i was with you so i just didn't care. i didn't have the perception to give it a thought. i knew it was wrong - yet i still didn't care.

you hummed for a moment.

watching me.

my own little wraith.

why didn't i care?

i don't know.

that was lie.

you knew it, too.

right, you smiled. it was bitter and you melted away through the wall. the inferno raging red and orange again and warmth crept into my veins so quickly it hurt.

you didn't care because you were in love with me.

foolish girl.

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