~''The experiences we face in life should always be chosen

by none other than ourselves.

We should be responsible for all of our mistakes and rights.

Nobody else holds our lives.

Nobody can tell us what we are, who to love, how to dress or how to live.

There's a first time for everything, and this sentence itself is infinite.

Who knows the outcome of our actions?

None other than the mighty puppeteer...''.~

[chapter focused on Jimin's pov]

[trigger, sexual content]

''I should have never told you how I felt. You can't understand me and I can't explain how I am. Are your lies more painful than mine Jungkook?''.

''Jimin... You aren't ready. You don't want this'' Jungkook insisted.

''I am old enough to decide for myself Kook. And I want you to fuck me. Now''.

''But how did you change your mind so fast? Gorgeous, I swear I can wait for as long as...'' Jungkook's sentence got interrupted when he felt Jimin's tongue exploring his mouth. If the older was going to continue like this Jungkook would be unable to control himself. The younger tried not to fall for Jimin's skillful tongue but the sudden contact of the man's palm on his crotch made him moan between the kiss.

''Fuck'' he cursed and grabbed the blond's waist with his hands forcefully trying with all his might to resist the older. This wasn't the Jimin he knew. Well, the Jimin he thought he knew at least.

''What? What is it?'' Jimin growled when he saw the man fighting back his urge. ''Let your tongue explore me. You have been wanting this from the start'' Jimin's voice was almost like a pleading cry. He quickly began to unbutton his shirt wanting to get through this as quickly as possible. Certainly the pleasure was going to be immense but the exploitation he felt at that moment was unbearable.

''If feels forced, don't you think? It makes me feel that you do this just to please me when in reality you don't want this'' he exclaimed.

''The erection in your pants says otherwise''. Jimin leaned closer to the man, his naked chest coming in contact with the younger's shirt, the glossy lips barely touching his ear. Jungkook could feel the warmth of his lover's mouth sending goosebumps all over his body. ''Fuck me. Fuck me now''.

Jungkook was ready to give a negative response again when he sensed Jimin rubbing his clothed crotch with his palm almost forcefully.

''Damn, I will be rough with you in so many mellow ways'' he finally gave in to the walking temptation and began to slowly unwrap the blond. His fantastic mind, his soft soul, his so loving heart. What a masterpiece of a person Jimin was for Jungkook...

From tender kisses to harsh grips, Jungkook got rid of his own shirt, the blond exploring his torso for the first time. Jimin had to face the harsh reality that Jungkook was the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his entire life and that both women and men would kill to sleep with him. But as much as he tried to bring himself to that point, he just couldn't. He loved him, a fucking sociopath fell for the tricks of a naïve author.

Jungkook didn't seem that credulous to Jimin now.

For him it was just two liars fucking mercilessly. One liar had feelings while the other was just pretending.

But this wasn't the case, Jungkook's touches were delicate as if he was caressing precious jewels, gestures that confused the older a little too much.

He took the man's face in his hands and kissed him. Softly, giving all his love cause he just wanted to please the blond more than he wanted to satisfy himself. Jimin felt his own bulge growing, cursing himself for being so affected by the younger's graze. Jungkook paused his movements and looked him in the eyes, unaware of what the man was feeling. He was hoping for delight and relish yet Jimin felt disappointment. Not in Jungkook but in himself.

For thinking that he could live as a human. For letting himself fall in love again. And for convincing himself that he was being cherished and loved along the way.

''Jimin, I love you so much. You are so beautiful... gorgeous'' he whispered and began to suck on his neck, marking him. And the lovely moans that were escaping Jimin's lips were making Jungkook even more eager than he already was. How the blond hated himself for reacting like this...

''You are my constant, inappropriate thought'' he licked the man's jawline till the end of his collarbones ferociously. Jimin was barely even moving, just entangling his legs around the younger's tiny waist. And abruptly he felt the crisp on his bare skin, Jungkook lowering his lover's slacks all the way till his ankles. Biting his lower lip, he pressed his erection onto Jimin's clothed bulge, his lips kissing every inch of Jimin's chest. Until he saw two purplish bruises on his thorax.

''Jimin-ah... what's this?'' he traced his fingers over the naked torso. They were faded purple however Jungkook knew how difficult is for a blemish to form on that particular area.

''Nothing, nothing, continue'' he pleaded.

''Did something happen at work?'' he questioned, leaving a small kiss on that area trying to take the pain away.

''Stop pretending that you care'' Jimin thought internally. And in a desperate attempt to drive Jungkook's mind away from the bruises, the older grinded upwards and shoved his hand in the raven haired's boxers, slowly stroking his cock. Jungkook moaned when he felt his precum dripping on Jimin's fingers. The man silenced him with a kiss, his hands unbuttoning the younger's pants impatiently.

''Jimin-ah... at least let me get you upstairs. I can't go raw, it's your first time bo...''.

''It's okay... I will try to take you. I can't wait'' he lied and using all the strength he had left, he removed his own boxers feeling his own precum running on his thighs. How different things would be if he didn't love the younger, if the feelings were mutual...

How different it would be if Jungkook meant his confessions...

Savoring the beautiful sight in front of him while biting Jimin's inner thighs, Jungkook removed his own boxers and brought his fingers on the man's plump lips. Jimin remembered how many times he had asked his previous ''victims'' to do what he was about to do now. Closing his eyes, moaning from the feeling of Jungkook's mouth around his cock, Jimin began to suck on the younger's fingers vehemently.

Letting his saliva coat Jungkook's fingers, Jimin thought he could sense the pair of eyes watching his succumb from the camera in the living room. Perhaps that was his punishment for everything he'd done in life. To feel weak. To feel derisory.

Jimin's eyes rolled in the back of his head when he sensed the younger's fingers entering his rim. The acute pain started off quickly especially when he felt the second finger curling in his hole.

''Jimin you won't be able to take me. I had barely entered three fingers and you are screaming'' he warned from the mouth-watering spectacle.

''Do it... I want you so bad...'' he pleaded knowing that the younger wouldn't be able to resist any longer. Yet the moment Jungkook entered his tight hole, Jimin's head fell back, his hands automatically grasping the younger's shoulders for stability. The blond tried to close his thighs in an attempt to minimize the pain but memories began to sink in his mind.

''Am I hurting you Jimin?'' he wondered. ''I 'll go easy on you, okay?'' he promised, grinding his hips in and out with a slow pace trying to let the older adjust. Jimin was panting heavily knowing that he was being exploited with his own will. And that his ''co-workers'' were watching him being submissively fucked.

But when Jungkook's rhythm grew faster and Jimin began to feel the wet cum dripping from his hole, he felt a disgusting taste flooding his esophagus. A sickening feeling that his own memories decided to bring up. Jimin's body arched forward in an attempt to stop the pain however his efforts seemed in vain. He looked like a lifeless doll... and Jungkook hated it.

''Jimin... fuck... T-tell me what is going on'' he muttered and stopped moving.

And in a matter of seconds Jimin pushed the younger away from him and after quickly wearing his boxers, he ran to the sink, vomiting everything he had eaten for breakfast.

Jungkook sat on the couch breathing heavily, not knowing what he did wrong. Pulling his boxers back up, he made his way to the kitchen seeing his boyfriend on the floor crying angrily, the most vulnerable state he has ever seen him till this point. Jungkook could decode the message behind his tears and this certainly wasn't sadness or pain.

''Gorgeous...''.

''Kook... leave me alone for a minute. Just pl-...please leave me alone'' he hissed in acrimony.

''Sociopaths never apologize or say please Jimin''.

''But mother, I am not a sociopath!''.

''You are son. You are''.

Jimin had reached his lowest.

''You can't leave me in the dark Jimin. You have to tell me whatever troubles you if we want this to work out. Don't couples do that?'' he inquired and sat on the floor next to him.

''They do... B-but they don't lie t-too'' he stammered, taking the younger aback. Regaining his dominance Jimin cupped Jungkook's face with his hands and whispered in his ear.

''Kook... Don't lie to me. Ever'' he ordered between his sobs. What a two-faced of a person Jimin was...

''But I haven't lied to you'' he countered back.

''Just in case'' Jimin added.

They both sat there drowning in their own silence, each one of them facing his own demons and predicaments. Jungkook's gaze averted to the man next to him sitting skeptical, not uttering a word about whatever had happened. And Jimin was just trying to find a way to hate the younger. It was impossible. He was so endearing, so careful, so delicate... But he wanted Jimin to be his puppet and Jimin wasn't going to allow that. However when he sensed Jungkook's head landing gently on his shoulder, Jimin instantly grew soft ignoring both the mental and the physical pain.

''I have never been in love and I am sorry if I am making you feel awful. I am trying so hard to be a great boyfriend... I would do anything for you'' he broke the silence.

''Kook... I am fine, really...''.

''And I need to be honest with you just like you are with me'' he muttered not noticing Jimin hiding his guilt under a façade of smiles.

''I thought I had burnt all of the pages, I swear... but apparently I had left one in my drawers. It was just a piece of notes where I had written some sexual acts that were going to occur in the book I was writing about you. I hadn't written your name or anything, I just wanted to keep the ideas for future novels, you know?''.

''What ?'' Jimin's eyes were glistening with rage.

''But I swear it had nothing to do with you. I threw it in my fireplace instantly... I would never want to have control over you'' he promised and pecked his neck.

''Are you telling me the truth?'' Jimin inquired, his eyes averting at the camera knowing that one of the guys was now listening to his words.

''I have no reason to lie... I promise''.

''Damn Kook!'' he soughed and engulfed the startled male in a hug. ''I ...''.

''Shut up. Don't say anything and just hold me''.

''Everything has been different since I fell in love with you. You are the best part of me. Don't forget this cause I won't say it ever again'' he chuckled and kissed the man's forehead.

''I don't need sweet talk to know that you love me. I just want you to stay here with me till you get bored of me and leave''.

''What makes you think I will abandon you and not the other way around?'' he wondered.

''You occupy so much space in my heart it would be a shame to rip it in two'' Jungkook giggled and stood up, helping the older afterwards.

''I am sorry for tonight... I never meant for our first time to be like this. Does it hurt?''.

''I am not considering this my first time with you. We will have another chances, don't worry''.

''Jimin... Whatever you are facing, whatever you are dealing with, we will solve it together. People overthink when they are under loved and fortunately you have someone who loves you too much''.

''Kook... I can pretend a smile, I can pretend to be happy, I can feign bliss but...I can't pretend that I don't love you''.

''Do you want to shower first?'' the younger rubbed Jimin's back.

''Thank you''.

It was time to take some drastic measures.