A desire to disappear

There's no intense reason

Just feel like I don't belong here

I don't want to live

Nor do I want to die

Just wanna disappear in thin air without anyone noticing and with no goodbyes

All my existence did was hurt others and even myself

Intentionally or unintentionally

They say that everything happens for a reason

And life is a test which will decide our place in afterlife

I beleive that for I have reasons which I don't know how to express

I'm a pathetic coward

And a detestable person

Not that I'm sad or depressed

Just aware of what kind of person I am

I don't feel like I want to change myself

Nor do I think that I need to

If I think rationally

It's quite the opposite

I know the things I'm supposed to do

But I don't feel like it's the right thing to do and the wrong too

Time flies by too fast

Yet I don't do anything

I don't think about my future

Or past

I don't desire any afterlife like others

Whether it be good or bad

I don't want anything to do with life

Sleeping more than I should and how I try my best to not think about myself

Proves my point

This dream of mine seems stupid and pointless

But it makes sense to me

Even though it's impossible

I try my best to achieve it

I don't feel any emotions regarding this

No sadness, anger, happiness or emptiness

Just a desire to disappear

-affkff

This is written by me.