A/N: This chapter is very depressing. This is your warning...

BTW. INTERESTED IN BEING HARRY'S GF? RULES AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER! :)

•Flashback•

I stood looking in the mirror frowning at my appearance.

Jenna had saw my cuts today. She laughed.

She saw how frail I was looking.. Yet she continued to call me fat.

I guess that its over. This is the solution right? If I can't be perfect, then I'm nothing.

If I can't please others, then what the point?

I reached in the cabinet and found a pill bottle. Inside were around 50 or so white pills. I grabbed a handful and looked down at them.

This is it, isn't it? My last few breaths. My last day to live.

I placed the pills in my mouth, and with one quick drink of my water... It was done. I did it. I'm leaving. I reached for my pen and paper and began to write...

Dear mom,

I'm sorry for being such failure. Please don't blame yourself. It's my fault. I came to realize that I am nothing but a pain to you and dad... I need an escape. An escape from this hell I'm living... Its has become so bad that I regret every breath that I breathe. I frown every-time I wake up in the morning, dreading to be alive... The pain will be gone soon. I'm a fucking screw up. I have to reason to be alive any longer. Thanks for being there at times. I promise to tell Grandma hello... Even though I'm probably going to hell...

~Mia.

I folded the paper and grabbed another.

Dear sibilings,

You guys are amazing... I'm sorry that I can't watch you grow into amazing people... But its time for your big sister to leave now. Don't be sad. I'll see you again, I promise. Be good for mommy and daddy. And I can't wait to watch you all grow into beautiful parents in the future. Remember I'll always be by you, even though you can't see me. Goodbye.

~Your big sister, Mia.

I continued.

Dear Dad,

Hi Dad... I'm crying now. It's almost time for your little girl to leave now. I can feel the pills working. I'm growing tired daddy... I'm gonna miss you. I was always your little girl right? Even though I never showed it. I'll always look down at you... You are such an amazing man. And I'm sorry I've failed you. I guess this is my last goodbye isn't it? Only a few more minutes and I'm gone. So I'm gonna end this here.. With one last I love you. And my last goodbye. I will always love you daddy, please remember me once I'm gone. And take care of mom. I'll miss you...

~Your little girl

Mia.

I finished with one last letter...

Dear Jenna,

Are you happy? I'm gone now. I'm no longer here. Don't feel guilty. This is what you wanted. And I know I was nothing but worthless and pathetic to you. I hope this makes you happy. Happy that I'm gone now. That I won't be there to bother you. I'm slipping away now Jenna. Your wish is here. Have fun being happy now...

~Mia.

I held the papers in my hand tightly as I began to grow weaker.

My breaths were getting shorter and slower. My mind was panicking. But this is how it goes. My last few breaths. I glanced around my room and smiled a little.

I laid my head on the ground and watched as my eyes grew heavy.

The last thing I saw was a shadow run towards me, as I manage to choke out a few words before everything went black, "Leave me here to die. I'm ready to go now." And that was it.

•End of flashback•

As I re-read the letters, I was in tears.

My mom cried for hours as I was unconscious. My dad told me.

I was so close. So close to ending it all.

I was so close that I could feel my body slipping, the feel of death pulling me to join them. I wanted to go, but I couldn't... I was brought back.

A part of me is thankful. But a bigger part of me is angry. Angry that I'm alive and well again.

Sometimes I just wish that my father wasn't there to find me.

Death seems so peaceful to me. And if I had the option to do it differently I would in a heartbeat.

And if I had never met Louis, I would be gone.

One thing I hate is how people say that Suicide is the cowardly way out.

Want to know what's cowardly?

Treating people so bad that they would want to end their lives...

And thats how I as.

Misunderstood and treated badly.

Death seemed so peaceful that living was almost painful.

I wiped away the tears and placed everything into the box.

I grabbed a nearby sharpie and wrote on the top.

"To show to the future me."

I placed the box underneath my bed and headed for the shower, shaking with every step that I took. Realizing that I'm still living.

A/N: Honesty here. I cried. Only while writing the dad note. So much emotion there :( Guys suicide is not a joke okay? Its scary, and not the answer. Remember that people DO care. Even though you may not see any other solution, there always is.

ANWAYS. I was thinking about doing a contest or something! :) I'm searching for Harry's new girlfriend! Interested? Comment saying "Harry's future girlfriend!!!" So I know. If I get 3 entries I'll post the contest rules. Love you guys! xx ~A