*Edited*

"Jack," my strained voice cried out, my eyes filling with cold tears, threating to pour out.

"I can't help you anymore Mia!" His voice was distant and anger was evident on his face.

I grasped onto his hand lightly, "Please," my voice begged.

He pulled up my arm and drew a line with the the tip of his index finger, trailing it down a line of faded and fresh scars,"This Mia. This is why we can't be together..." He whispered.

"Y-you're embarrassed of me?" I stuttered. "I CAN'T HELP IT! I'M ALWAYS TREATED DIFFERENTLY!" I hiccuped softly, brushing away fallen tears from my damped cheeks.

"It's not that.." Jack said, his voice low in sadness.

"No, I understand," I cut him off. He ran his hands through his brown knotted hair in frustration and I begun to spin on my heels and run out of the house in tears. I just lost the one person who meant the most to me.

***

I flickered through the channels mindlessly, before I pulled out my cell phone going over my contacts. I came across Jack's and deleted it quickly before I had the chance to call him, pleading for him to take my stupid self back.

I threw my phone onto the couch and stood up slowly and walked towards the bathroom, staring in the dirty mirror with disgust.

My black hair matted against my head. My pale skin dirty from not showering.I was a mess, A disaster.

I glanced at the sink and saw a silver blade sitting against the white porcelain rim. My shaky hands grasped onto it slowly, my breath hitching deep within my throat. To stop the pain, I repeated in my head, to stop the pain.

The blade sharply tore my skin open, a trail of dark, red, blood trailing down my arm. I dropped on my frail knees, crying from the sadness built up in my small, weak body. I don't deserve to be alive. All I do is ruin everything, I think to myself. I'm such a disgrace that my own boyfriend, who would never judge any of my actions in the past, left me.

I threw the blade to the tiled ground, the clinking of the metal echoing around the small room. I picked myself up and turned the knob to the shower on slowly, waiting for the hot water to click on. I stripped off my white tank top and my black torn shorts to the ground, kicking them away. I hesitantly stepped inside and allow the comforting steam to indulge me, wiping away my sorrows. Beads of water trailed down the slope of my nose, distracting me from the haunting thoughts that were swirling in my brain. When I felt comfortable, I turned the water off and stepped out. I wrapped a tiny blue, ripped towel around my body as I made my way too my closet in the other room. I pull the wooden door open, revealing a small selection of clothing.

My eyes skimmed for a few minutes, my mind debating on what would suit my figure for this occasion. I decide on a small, black dress and throw it over my head, adjusting it a little. It ends mid thigh, and begins at the top of my chest. I reach over and grab my clutch with a few singles in it and head out the door.

When I arrive at "Neon", the club I decide to go to, I quickly headed inside. I stumbled over to the bar asking for 2 shots of the strongest alcohol beverage that they had. The waiter handed me a green liquid in a shot glass, I smiled politely before chugging them both down and slamming the glass against the wooden table. I wiped my mouth and walked to the dance floor.

I raised my hands in the air carefree, as I let my body rock to the music. A pair of husky hands snaked around my waist holding me tight. I laughed and turned to face him, he had beautiful curly hair and green sparkling eyes. He grinned at me, I smiled back.

"You look very beautiful tonight." His British accent slowly spoke.

"Thank you." I smiled. We danced hand in hand to the music, staring into each others eyes.

A tall man with slick brunette hair and a towering figure approaches us, "Harry come on, we're all leaving."

"Okay Liam, give me a second," Harry groaned, clearly annoyed by the appearance of Liam. We both watched as Liam pushes through the crowd and disappear out of a door.

"Would you like to join me?" Harry spoke after the song was over. I thought it over quickly, but my mind was blurred, so I agreed.

His large hand grasped mine before he lead me out the door to a black van, I blinked a few times suspiciously. He opens the side door, allowing me inside.

I glanced around the van and came in contact with 7 pair of other eyes, one of which were Liam's. One of the boys had beautiful blue eyes, and a super skinny body, his smile bright and cheerful. Next to him was a blonde, short man, sleeping on Liam's shoulder. Next to Liam was a tan girl with curly, long hair. And next to her was a muscular black haired man, with deep brown eyes, he was sitting next to a blonde haired girl. Then that left Harry, who was sitting next to me. No one spoke just stared, waiting for me to say something.

"Uh, hi," I choked out, "I'm Mia."

The first boy smiled and introduced himself, "I'm Louis, the one sleeping is Niall, next to him is Liam, and that is his girlfriend Danielle. There is Zayn with his girlfriend Perrie, and I'm sure you know Harry." Louis smiled, pointing towards everyone in the car.

"Nice to meet you a-all," I slurr slightly, hiccuping in the process.

"She's hammered," Zayn chuckled.

"Would you like to rest at our hotel for a night?" Harry asked. I nodded my head slightly, not really sure what I was agreeing to. I glared out the window, closing my eyes and resting my cheek on the window, draining the lingering heat from the alcohol.

***

We all stood awkwardly in the elevator waiting for it to lift us to our room. There was a small ding, then the doors opened. I looked around the bright hallway, following Harry to his room. I watched the other boys part to their rooms as well, Zayn and Liam taking their girlfriends with them. Harry invited me in and I stepped inside slowly. The room was nice, with a beautiful view of the surrounding area.

"This is a nice room," I told Harry.

"Yeah it's great." He smiled. "You hungry?"

I frowned and nodded my head slightly.

"Good, you're too skinny, you need some meat on those bones." He chuckled, reaching to grab my arm, but I pulled it away. He frowned slightly and walked to the kitchen and cooked up a meal.

I sat down and stared at my food, counting the calories that might be in it. I placed some of the fries in my mouth, but I left the rest to get cold.

I took a few bites of the chicken Harry cooked before standing up and excusing myself.

I threw the rest away in the trash, then telling Harry I needed to use the restroom.

I hurried to the toilet and slammed the door shut as I sank down to the floor, shoving my fingers down my throat, making all of the food I had previously ate disappear out of my stomach. I clenched my fists tightly and flushed the toilet in shame.

I peaked out to see Harry texting fast on his phone.

"Uh hi," I whispered. He spun his head around and smiled.

"Hi," he said. I yawned and sit back down.

"Tired?" He asked.

"Extremely... I'm not feeling the best." I explained.

"Is that why you threw up?" He questioned.

I gulp harshly, "uh yeah." I lied.

He frowned and got me a glass of water. I smiled and drank the water slowly as it healed the acid feeling in my throat.

"Thanks." I slightly smirked.

"Sure no problem."

"Uh, would you like me to sleep on the couch?" I asked shyly.

"No, no, no! You can sleep on my bed."

I nodded my head and thanked him before I headed over to the room where his bed was, I was about to lie down when I heard the slam of a door behind me.

"You shouldn't sleep in that," Harry said, he opened up his closet and handed me a pair of shorts and a long grey shirt.

"Here," he offered.

"Thanks," I sheepishly blushed as I see him watching me, his eyes widen.

"Should I change in the bathroom?" I blurted out.

He snapped out of his state and shook his head, "Uh, yeah sorry," He trailed out of the room, letting me change.

I removed my dress quickly and threw the large shirt over my head. I breathed comfortably in the soft fabric of the clothing.

I was about the put on the shorts when a door opened, it wasn't my door but I heard 2 pairs of feet walk around.

"So you think she's.... Bulimic?" A high voice spook, I immediately recognized Harry's voice speak next.

"Yeah, she barely took any bites of her food, then ran to the bathroom, right before I heard her throwing up. She said she was sick, but I don't believe it. And she uh, she, she has cuts all up her arm."

"She what?" The other voice cuts in.

"She has terrible scars on her right arm. I noticed them when I went to grab her arm, but she pulled away quickly," Harry whispered.

I fell to the ground and cry, just when I thought I was making friends, I went and screwed it up again. I'm such a wreck. I can't stand it anymore.

WELL THAT IS END OF CHAPTER ONE!

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