"Mommy, Daddy! Wake up, wake up!"

The distant sounds of my son's alarmed tone, mixed together with the howling cries of the other two, has me jolting awake in a matter of moments, my Motherly instincts certainly kicking in. Relief washes over Toby's four year old face, mirroring his Father's exact expression when experiencing the same emotion and his innocent eyes, although wide, soften slightly. Being a precise replica of Aidan, it goes without saying my boy is incredibly handsome and at only four years and three months, he's already grown into the young boy I wanted him to be.

Kind and compassionate, not to mention incredibly protective of his two, six week old sisters.

"The twins are crying, Mommy and I can't pick them up. I can't get them to stop." he cries, getting more and more anxious by the second.

I quickly remove the covers from my body and bring his trembling body into a tight hug, noticing the clock displaying a rather unforgiving 3.37am as I do so. He's always expressed such worry whenever the girls make even the slightest of sounds and I think it comes from his Dad having drilled it in him from day one that it is his duty to look after them no matter what.

"It's okay, little man. They're just hungry, that's all. It's normal for babies to cry, you used to do it all the time when you were their age." I soothe, keen to rid some of his concern.

I run a gentle hand through his mouse brown locks and silently reminisce on a time when he was that tiny. Looking back, it was a good job Aidan did rerun from England to make me his wife once and for all. As it turns out, unknowing to us at the time, I was pregnant and it wasn't until I came back from our honeymoon that I found out. Nonstop vomiting for three days straight had seen Aidan on the edge of total panic, and thinking I'd contracted some tropical virus whilst vacating abroad, we planned a trip to the doctors office. Of course, Aidan insisted on tagging along to ensure I was alright and had spent most of the appointment holding my hand while I reeled off symptom after symptom to Dr. Rogers. I still remember the look on his face when the doctor suggested I take a pregnancy test. Shock, excitement, fear; it had all been there but thankfully the remaining eight months flew by swimmingly and I gave birth to our beautiful Son, Toby Kyle Richards, on May 4th, weighing in at a healthy 8lbs.

"Did I really cry like that?" asks Toby, pulling me from my thoughts as my sleeping husband stirs from next to me.

Well, it's about bloody time.

"Yeah, sweetie. They can't talk yet so it's their way of getting our attention. It's nothing to worry about, I promise."

His dark brown, slightly green eyes sparkle with understanding and while relaxing at the hands of my explanation, he rests his head on my shoulder, watching as his Dad finally succumbs to consciousness, the confusion in his tired eyes almost laughable.

"Hey buddy, what you doing in here?" whispers Aidan, voice thick with sleep.

"The twins are crying. Mommy said they're hungry." replies Toby, still clinging to my pyjama top for dear life.

Aidan's eyes briefly flash to mine, caressing my every feature as he slowly evaluates my expression. He pretends to hate this part, the waking up at ungodly hours, but I know he secretly loves it. Years ago, when Toby first grew out of this stage, I would find Aidan standing over his crib in the middle of the night, not knowing what to do with himself. "I miss him." he would admit, sounding totally absurd by saying so but completely justifiable at the same time.

Parenthood is an odd thing, made only better by the overpowering love you feel for your child and nothing quite compares to it. The only reassurance you have is that the person you vowed to spend the rest of your life understands wholeheartedly how you truly feel and I can honestly say it makes your relationship that more unbreakable.

"Is that right? I suppose we better fed the hungry little things then, hadn't we?" he states, throwing the covers off of his body to quickly pull on a T-shirt. "You wanna help, buddy?" he asks, instantly peaking Toby's interests.

"Yes, please!" he agrees, practically jumping out of my arms to sprint towards the door.

I have to laugh at his sheer enthusiasm and once again, catch sight of Aidan stood infuriatingly handsome by the foot of our bed, tempting me with his sun kissed skin and slightly tousled hair.

"Morning, darling. You look beautiful by the way." he informs, indeed referring to my long forgotten roots and constant bags under my eyes.

He really is kind to lie.

"Morning handsome." I respond, quickly reaching up to plant a kiss on his luscious lips. "You're looking particularly good yourself." I insist, running my hands up and down the length of his chest, loving its warm feel.

His forehead comes to rest on mine but before a reply can be uttered, an earth shattering cry sounds from the nursery, snapping him into action.

"Gosh, they're so demanding, just like their Mother." he jokes, exiting the room with an eager Toby hot on his heels, the pair making their way to the kitchen, downstairs.

My beautiful boys; always so keen to protect us girls. We're incredibly lucky to have them.

~~~~

Aidan returns soon after with a sobbing baby in each arm, Toby not far behind carrying the pre made formulae. I enthusiastically thrust out my arms, indicating for Aidan to place Jane there, leaving him holding Frankie. Yes, we named both girls after our Mom's once gaining permission to do some from Kyle and Anna; the pair overjoyed at the prospect of implementing such a thing. Hayley had given birth to a little girl two months prior to Toby's appearance and the pair are expecting another one shortly. Anna is no further forward with starting her own family but has been with her boyfriend, Mark, for seven months now, a personal record as far as past relationships have gone. She's extremely happy with him and he gets on really well with Aidan and the guys, making things that little bit easier. Chloe and Dylan eventually got married last year having saved up enough money to have their dream wedding and Drew finally popped the question to Jess at Christmas, making them next lucky couple to undergo their special day. Sally and Carter are still going strong and although I no longer work with them, we regularly meet up to touch base. I left the company shortly after marrying Aidan due to my freelancing taking off rather positively and haven't looked back since.

I balance most of my days between writing for my online blog and being a Mother to three incredible children. It can sometimes be hard when Aidan is held up at the office, especially now we have two newborn twins to deal with. I only have one pair of hands and there's only so much I can do when I have all three kids crying on me at once. Only last week did I have Toby fall over and scrape his knee, which had stemmed a rather dramatic crying fit on his behalf, evidently setting the other two off. It seems when one cries, the others join in. Still, I love my perfect family and I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Here you go, darling?" whispers Aidan, handing me a bottle while positioning himself back into bed.

He quietly gestures for Toby to join us, pointing to the space in between our two bodies before rather gently insisting on him closing his eyes.

"Go to sleep, little man. You have to be up early tomorrow for grandpa Jack's birthday, remember?" he instructs, rather impressively feeding Frankie with one arm whilst wrapping Toby up into a cuddle with the other.

He doesn't end up responding to his Farther's demands, for he falls asleep before the girls even reach the halfway mark on their bottle. We're left in peaceful silence and having not experienced it for quite some time now, we simply allow for it to wash over us, enjoying it even.

"This right here, our perfect family, this is everything I ever wanted and more." speaks Aidan, breaking through the silence with his deep voice.

Jane has nodded off again in my arms but Frankie, ever the stubborn one, is fighting sleep. She stares up at her Dad as if he's the most interesting thing in the world and refuses to close her eyes when he attempts to rock her. She's the oldest, born thirty two minutes before Jane and has already got the attitude to go with it. She reminds me of Anna, even sharing some physical attributes with her and I couldn't be more pleased with that. Jane takes more after her Dad's side of the family, looking very much like what April did when she was first born, hence the reason we chose that name for her. Toby shares both of our traits, though is definitely his Dad's son and even takes after Kyle from time to time, which is a given considering how close they are.

Both my Dad and Will adore their grandchildren and Hannah loves making a fuss every time we visit, which is all the time given how close we all live to one another. It's funny really, when Aidan and I got married, it seemed to bring both families closer together and even Lily, Kyle and Hayley's little girl, refers to Anna as her aunt.

Emily and April are still the best of friends and start junior high soon, which is a scary thought. Still, everyone must grow up and I'm rest assured that as long as they've got each other, they'll be just fine.

"I know, I'm so in love with you all." I reply, glancing at each and every one of my kids before resting my gaze on Aidan, smugly smiling at him. "I'm so in love with you." I add, hesitantly leaning over my gorgeous son, sounding sleeping, to land a kiss on Aidan's plump lips.

Fortunately, he doesn't stop there and while deepening the kiss, I'm momentarily made aware of our daughter still very much awake.

"Aidan, she's watching us." I lightly giggle, not wanting to wake the other two.

"Yeah, well that'll teach her to be so reluctant to fall asleep in the future. Come on, I say we shock her into sleep." he suggests, all but shoving his tongue down my throat.

"Aidan!" I jokingly protest, keeping an eye on Frankie, who is showing no sign of sleeping anytime soon.

"Fine darling, but as soon as Anna picks them up on Wednesday for swimming, I'm taking you to bed and you're not leaving until at least 3.00pm."

Hearing his filthy plans has me itching with anticipating, making Wednesday seem so damn far away, though in retrospect, three days is not that long. Having three young children can make 'alone time' a little tricky and although Aidan and I certainly don't lack in that department, an average of three times a week is still not enough for my man, who could go for days it would seem.

"I look forward to it." I smirk, meaning every word behind my statement, already planning in my mind what sexy underwear to put on.

I think I'll go for the satin red number. Why not surprise my husband with a little bit of seduction?

"Look, she's smiling." states Aidan, rather randomly interrupting my thoughts whilst he gestures towards Frankie, definitely undergoing some intense wind if her strained face is anything to go by.

"She's not smiling, she's trying to burp." I giggle, laughing further when she proves me right and releases the cutest of burps.

"Maybe that's why she's not sleeping." offers Aidan, moving her so she lies across his shoulder while he rubs and pats her tiny back.

Winding her eventually works and whilst letting go of a tremendous belch, she simultaneously brings up some milk, covering majority of Aidan's shoulder in white, creamy liquid.

"Oh no, we've had a leakage." I inform, smiling at Frankie as she relaxes further into her Dad's arms, seemingly ready for bed.

Now she falls asleep.

"Thanks, baby girl. Just what I needed." expresses Aidan, resting her sleeping body on the bed to remove his shirt.

The action brings heat to my body and with the moonlight bouncing off of his skin in a glittering glow, my eyes zero in on his left peck where the two recognisable dates linger inked to his chest, followed by three new ones; our wedding day, Toby's birthday and the girls' birthday. It's a subtle tattoo and one in which I'm undoubtedly in love with. He wears those dates with pride and although life as we know it now is pretty damn perfect, it's taken a lot for us to get here and we'll never forget the journey we endured along the way.

Life in unpredictable and as much as grieving the loss of a loved one can hurt, talking about it is the best cure and I find including them in our every day life helps. Toby knows all about his two grandma's and although he adores his granny Hannah with all his heart, he understands and loves the other two, the two he never met. We felt it was important he knows of his heritage and I admire how curious he gets when asking us questions about them. He has a photograph of each in his bedroom and I sometimes catch him talking to them, which is a reassurance in itself. I'm happy with the knowledge that we're open about most things and even more so at his ability to accept such grown up circumstances. He knows that he had an older brother who never got to see the light of day and he often talks about it, something which Aidan and I both welcome. Every now and then, he'll ask what he looked like and although we can't possibly answer that question, we tell him that he likely looked a lot like what he does. This always pleases him and I've often found drawings scattered around his bedroom of two young boys, with similar features; one called Toby and the other, 'Toby's big brother'.

Obviously, the girls are too young to understand but much like we did with Toby, once they're old enough, we'll tell them too.

Family and friends are the most important thing to me and while I wish daily that I could change certain aspects of my life, I simply cannot fault how it has turned out now. All we can do is remember those that are no longer with us and it's important to do so, not to mention integral to ones health. Aidan and I are both no stranger to death, but instead of allowing it to swallow us whole, we've learned to accept it, embrace it even. It may have taken us a while to get where we are today but time is of no issue when what you've got is everything and more.

I thank the high heavens above daily for bringing Aidan back to me for I truly don't know who I'd be without him.

Not only is he my husband and the Father of my children, he's my everything, my saviour.

He's my always.

~~~~

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