"Bullshit! There's no such thing as a 'harmless coffee' when it involves an ex who you just so happen to still be in love with." gloats Anna, sending me a knowing look and shaking her head, disapprovingly.

I puff out an exhausted breath and throw my hands in the air in mock surrender.

"Jesus, Anna. I had coffee with him, it hardly calls for a patronising head shake." I retort, feeling slightly pissed off at her belittling stare.

She too throws her hands in the air in a dramatic manner, emphasising just how unhappy she is with the situation.

"He's engaged to another woman, Amelia! Why the fuck is he asking you to go get coffee with him in the first place?" she asks, her voice getting much louder now.

Deciding I don't have to listen to her anymore, I enter my kitchen and throw last nights dress, along with Aidan's shirt into my washing machine, setting the dials for a 'quick wash'.

After arriving home this morning, I found Anna in my apartment, eating my food and watching my T.V, seemingly taking advantage of the 'spare key for emergencies' I'd given her when I first moved in six months ago. I made the honest mistake of telling her about my 'coffee date' with Aidan and she didn't take the news all that well. Thank goodness I kept the whole 'Aidan accidentally admitting he loves me' fiasco under wraps; she'll lose her shit if she finds out.

Entering my kitchen, she casually leans against the doorframe and exhales a steady breath.

"Look Amelia, I don't mean to be a bitch, I just don't think you two meeting up alone is a good idea. You'll only get even more hurt." she admits in a much softer tone now.

Pressing the 'start' button on the machine, I go to stand up and rest both my hands on the counter top, sighing as I do so.

"He's marrying another woman Anna, I don't think it's possible to get 'even more hurt'." I reply, in a sad tone that has me cringing from the inside, out.

"Amelia." comes Anna's soft and gentle reply which, in turn, only annoys me more.

"Please don't pity me, this whole thing is my doing. I'm the one who broke up with him four years ago; he moved on and rightly so. I have no right to feel anything but happy for him and I'm trying, I'm really trying to but it just hurts so much seeing him with her." I say, feeling the familiar sting forming from behind my eyes.

Anna doesn't hesitate in moving from the doorway and has me wrapped up in a bone crunching hug in a matter of seconds. The action has me fighting back the urge to cry even more as every single emotion I've been bottling up these last twenty four hours comes rushing back, with a vengeance. It's almost as if the reality of the situation suddenly hits me in the face and I allow my heart to break all over again at the sad realisation of having lost him forever. Unable to hold it in any longer, I completely break down on Anna's shoulder, expressing my pain and suffering through my cries.

"Shh, you're okay, I'm right here." she whispers, softly in my ear while gently stroking my hair in a comforting way. "I'll look after you, I promise." she admits, a sense of desperation leaking through.

Her words remind me of Aidan's plea to her yesterday and somehow only manages to make me feel even worse. I pull away from her embrace and stare into her blue eyes which now resemble cold ice.

I can sense she's worried, through both seeing and feeling it radiating off of her in waves of unbearable amounts and the look of utter concern in her eyes is quite frankly the cherry on top. I try and offer her a reassuring smile while wiping at my tears but judging by the sympathetic look that follows, I assume I've only succeeded in worrying her further.

"I'll be fine," I lie and although I don't sound very convincing, I truly believe that one day, I will be, "maybe I needed this. To see him with someone else, so that I can finally move on without him." I admit, trying to see the good that can come of this and grasping onto it for dear life.

"Yeah." Anna states, although the slight waver in her voice betrays her fake agreement, suggesting she doesn't quite believe my reasoning.

She reaches up and wipes away another tear that seems to have unwillingly escaped from my eye and in a desperate attempt to make me feel better, completely disregards the conversation of Aidan Richards.

"How about you go have a steaming hot bubble bath and I'll go to the store and buy a shit tonne of chocolate for us?" she offers, causing a strangled laugh to sound from the back of my throat.

"Sounds perfect, although you don't need to go to the store, I already have chocolate in." I say, wiping my face with my hands and straightening my posture.

"Umm, yeah. That may or may not still be there." states Anna, smiling at me weakly, causing another bout of laughter to fall from me.

Only Anna can eat me out of food and not feel the wrath of my hand for it.

"Okay, you go to the store, I'll have a bath." I agree, offering her a small shoulder squeeze.

Disregarding my ever saddening thoughts, I move towards my bathroom with the intention of running a bath where I can quite literally wash away yesterday's events. While adding vanilla scented candles and lavender bubble bath to the mix my phone pings, alerting me of a text.

Reaching for the device, I swipe the screen and open my unread message,

Shit! It's Aidan.

With trembling hands and an increasingly confusing mind, I set my phone down beside the sink and strip off. I catch sight of some slight bruising on my upper body and inwardly cringe as memories of being with Connor filter through my mind. I hate that I got myself into a situation where leaving him alone after I slept with him, occurred and I especially hate that Aidan now thinks that's the type of person I am.

Love em and leave em.

Stepping my feet into the almost boiling water, I welcome the shock it causes and allow it to wake me up both literally and metaphorically.

I shouldn't reply to Aidan's text and I should definitely decline any invitation to meet up with him again.

Rejecting him is not what I want but maybe it's what I need.

----

Entering my apartment after a long, stressful day at work, I have only two things on my mind.

Food and bed.

I head straight into the kitchen and rummage around in my fridge for something that I can at least pretend is a suitable choice for dinner. When nothing jumps out at me, I close the door and decide to change into some pyjama's instead.

My phone pings from my bag as I pass and I decide to ignore it, assuming it's just Chloe or Jess again with their hourly check ups. Since the wedding, three days ago, they've both been texting me nonstop to make sure I'm okay. Of course, I insist each time that I'm absolutely fine but that doesn't stop them asking.

They only care I suppose but with Anna's constant texts on top of that, along with the occasional one from Aidan too, it's a surprise my phone hasn't blown up with the amount of attention it's been receiving.

Shoving on a vest top and some shorts, I re-enter my kitchen in the hopes of finding some inspiration in terms of preparing myself some food.

Interrupting me mid-search is a loud knock suddenly sounding from my door and I begrudgingly shut the fridge once again, leaving with an unsatisfied stomach.

Knowing it's likely to be Anna, I don't bother covering myself up and come to regret not doing so when I discover it's not her.

"Aidan?!" I state, in a voice somewhere between utter shock and complete embarrassment.

His hair flops over his forehead in a awkward manner, yet somehow still manages to look sexy on him while his foot taps, impatiently on the tiled floor. His forest-green eyes burn into mine with such intensity that suggests he's pissed off and his lips are pulled into a straight line, only adding to that suggestion.

"You're ignoring me." he states, certainly not beating around the bush.

His voice is emotionless which only adds to my fear and as I stare back at him, his intense gaze on me doesn't weaken.

"No I'm not." I protest, even though what he's saying is one hundred percent correct.

He puffs out a tired sigh and runs a hand through his thick, wire-like hair before voicing his opinion,

"You're a terrible lier, Amelia."

Shit.

My grip on the front door tightens and as I nervously shuffle from foot to foot, I think over my possible options.

So far, all I've got is, slamming the door in his face.

"You should come in." I say, doing the complete opposite to what my brain is telling me and moving to the side, offering him entrance as I do so.

He stares at me for a brief moment, before moving forward and stepping into my home. With wandering eyes, he scans the entire length of my living room, seemingly evaluating its appearance.

"You have a lovely home." he states, both shocking and confusing me.

"Umm, thanks, although I'm pretty sure you didn't come around to discuss furniture arrangements." I say, a hint of amusement tainting my voice.

I close the front door and turn around to see him cracking a small smile at me.

"No, I did not." is his response, making me blush a little.

"Speaking of which, how did you find out where I live?" I ask, already guessing the culprit of my compromised privacy.

"Jess. I asked, she told." he replies, confirming my thoughts.

I shoot him a knowing look which causes a small smile to tug at the corners of his mouth. A long stretch of silence passes between us and being the one to crack first, I do the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't.

"Do you want a drink? Coffee? Tea?" I ask, regretting the words as they fall from my mouth and only hoping Anna doesn't decide to 'pop round for a little visit' tonight.

After my dramatic breakdown the other day, I promised her I wouldn't attempt to get in contact with Aidan, nor would I agree to meet up with him, yet somehow, here he is, in my apartment, alone.

"Coffee would be great." he replies, while shoving his hands firmly in his jacket pockets, an action that has my already suspicious mind on high alert.

With a quick nod to my head, I proceed to walk away, leaving him alone in my living room while I desperately try to figure out what the hell I'm going to do.

Flicking the switch on my kettle, I wait not so patiently for the water to boil and try not to get carried away with the very sexy man, who just so happens to be the love of my life, that is currently occupying my living room.

"Aidan?" I suddenly find myself asking against my better judgment.

"Yeah?" he answers, poking his head through the kitchen door and locking his eyes onto mine.

"What are doing here?" I ask, deciding not to sugarcoat my question.

His face softens as he fully enters my kitchen and I notice the slight tremble in his hand when he runs it through his hair, creating the illusion he's nervous.

"Umm, well it's Jess' birthday soon and I thought we could surprise her with something? I don't know what exactly, I thought you could give some insight to the topic." he explains, perhaps a little too much, in turn, blowing his cover.

I stare at him blankly for a few seconds before the switch on the kettle flicks, informing me of its readiness. Instead of preparing our drinks, I continue to stare down Aidan who is looking back, matching my intense gaze.

"Aidan, what are you really going here?" I ask, through a tired sigh.

He isn't telling me the truth and I want to know why.

He lets out a defeated breath and the mask he's hiding behind suddenly drops.

"I just wanted to see you." he admits, his words, although dangerous, sending pleasured shivers running up and down the full length of my spine.

Seemingly losing the ability to function, I stand there, momentarily blinking a few times, making sure I heard him correctly.

Although his revelation makes me happy, I don't quite understand why he would he want to see me after what I did?

"I need to have you back in my life." he whispers in a way that if said any softer, I would quite possibly have missed his statement all together.

The way in which he keeps his voice low, it's almost as if he's too afraid to admit it any louder and although I heard it, I want him to say it over and over again to me, for reassurance sake.

With no real intention of where or what I'm doing, I edge closer to his solid frame, which I've already noticed has changed a lot in the last four years and go to touch him. Coming to my senses, I suddenly halt my arms mid-air deciding against the action.

Seemingly finishing what I couldn't, he reaches out to touch my face, causing my breath to hitch the very moment his hand makes contact with my cheek.

God, his touch is like a drug. One taste for it and I want more.

Realising my mistake, I shake my head and step away from his loving hold on me.

This is dangerous.

"I can't. You know I can't do that Aidan, so please don't ask me." I reply, breaking our very intense eye contact.

While his entire face pales, I catch sight of the hurt flashing between his eyes and suddenly I feel like we've transported to my room four years ago, reliving that dreadful night all over again.

It was the night I broke my promise to him, it was the night I broke his heart.

"Can't? Or won't?" he asks, stepping forward and closing the gap between us.

His closeness confuses me, seemingly paralysing my conscious mind; ridding any ability I have to stop myself from doing something I may later come to regret. The possibilities frighten me and although I'd give anything to feel his lips on mine again or to have his rock solid body pressed against me in intimate ways that have occurred so many times in my mind, I cannot let it happen.

Not while he's with her.

"Can't." I say, adamant in my decision that doing this is a recipe for disaster.

"Then try." is his reply, while he thankfully steps away, putting some much needed distance between us.

"Please."