"Perhaps we only leave so we may once again arrive, to get a bird's eye view of what it means to be alive. For there is beauty in returning, oh how wonderful, how strange, to see that everything is different but know it's only you who's changed."

- e.h

"You shouldn't have come here," Harris chastised in a sharp whisper. We were currently tucked away in the corner of the Nevada main house, all too aware of the watchful eyes and hushed comments as wolves passed by. Harris was hunched over, face in line with mine. He was tense, as tense as he had been on the field, and his eyes continued to hold a certain sheen of wild ferocity. I imagined he would remain in such a way until this entire mess had been sorted.

This trip may not be as short as Harris had hoped, and he would no doubt be on edge the entire time we were here.

"I tend not to let assholes dictate my choices in life."

"No, no," he sighed. Leaning forward, one arm stretched out over my shoulder to plant firmly on the wall behind him as his other hand pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm glad you're here with me, I am, but this situation is complicated, everyone is on edge and I don't want anything to make the situation harder than it has to be."

"Their prejudice is not my fault." I was agitated, riled up more than usual and seemingly looking for a fight that I had no business starting. Benjamin Russo's words had gotten to me more than I had initially thought.

"I'm not saying that," he growled. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm not weak, and I'm getting sick and tired of everyone presuming I am."

Glaring right into his eyes, I knew had I been another wolf that I would be cowering on the floor with my tale beneath my legs right now. I was in the wrong here and I knew it. Alpha Harris was staring at me with such intensity it was a surprise I didn't just melt into the floor right where I was standing.

I wouldn't back down though. It would do no good to announce my strength only to submit to his will moments later. Jutting my chin out defiantly, my jaw was clenched as my body seemed to naturally lean closer to the enraged Alpha. But he didn't bite, wouldn't take my challenge. He was an experienced Alpha after all, a wolf who knew when to fight and when not to. Now, in foreign territory, against a wolf of no position and no ability to shift, was not the time to demonstrate his numerous combat skills. Yet he didn't withdraw his eyes either, leaning in to meet my challenge with a frustrating lock on his emotions.

I waited, silent, for his next words. I could almost taste the sharp bite of his oncoming reprimand.

"You're here." The soft exclamation pierced the fog that weighed heavy between Harris and I.

I had been so caught in Harris' gaze, so enraptured in his proximity, that I had been completely oblivious to the familiar Alpha wolf that appeared behind me. The sound of his deep voice, so unexpected, sent a shot of fear through my chest as I was suddenly ripped from whatever stupor I had fallen into.

"Jack!" I exclaimed, my voice cracking.

Immediately I was stepping away from Harris, the older Alpha's arm falling back to his side as he straightened up. His familiar scowl – the one that had been present back in Idaho – was back as he too faced Jack. Without a farewell, or even an acknowledgment of the other Alpha, Harris was stalking off.

My eyes followed his determined path through the large pack house, watching as nervous Nevada pack wolves scattered in his wake.

"Emily," Jack's soft voice drew my attention back to him. He was staring at me deeply, his eyebrows pulled into a deep frown. "I didn't expect to see you again, so soon."

My heart stuttered, and I was unable to meet his gaze, my eyes resting on his mouth. There was a knot tightening in my gut, a tension in my chest. I too had not expected to see Jack, the man I had loved – did love – so soon. I had certainly not expected to see him in such circumstances.

"Ye-ah," my voice cracked. "Harris offered to bring me along... so I could see you."

My words caused a soft smile to bloom on Jack's face, the previous tension in his expression evaporating in an instant. He was relieved by my words. The knot in my stomach grew.

He stepped closer and my neck arched, my eyes finally meeting his.

"I'm so happy to see you." His voice was so soft, so smooth. He reached out, his fingertips gently brushing against the curve of my cheek. I wanted nothing more to melt into his touch, but the very urge sent guilt coursing through my veins. This relationship between us, between Alpha and pack mate was wrong. "I missed you," he whispered. His breath fanned across my lips and his forehead pressed to mine. For a second, I stopped breathing, and the blood pulsed so loud in my ears that I was unable to hear anything but my own heartbeat.

"Jack-" I pulled back, desperate to create some distance between us. The light in his eyes dimmed and his expression fell flat.

"You're officially a part of his pack now." There was something in his tone that told me just how far from thrilled he was about this.

"Yes."

"This is it then. You're definitely not coming back." Again, his words were curt.

"Jack-" my voice broke. "I told you this is what I wanted, what I needed."

"I suppose I was hoping you would change your mind."

I couldn't look at him anymore, I couldn't bare to witness the pain in his expression. This wasn't fair, none of this was fair. Beyond us, in the adjacent room, Harris was stood, arms crossed, eyes fixed on us. When our eyes met, he gestured for me to join him with a slight jut of his chin.

"I can't have this conversation right now," I whispered, almost afraid that the louder I spoke the more damage my words would cause. I didn't wait for his response, rushing over to join my Alpha.

"Were you waiting for me?" I asked Harris as soon as I was at his side. He had followed my path towards him with his eyes, completely disregarding the other Alpha so close to him.

"I've witnessed what members of this pack think of you, I'm not leaving you alone amongst them." I probably should have felt offended that he felt the need to babysit me, but instead all I felt was gratitude. Alpha's were protective over their own, which meant he did indeed view me as one of his pack members.

"Thank you." He only nodded his acknowledgement.

"The Alpha's are about to gather in the Nevada conference room. We have a long discussion ahead of us about the next steps. We should go get settled."

***

I imagine had I been a normal wolf, being in such close proximity to all eight Alpha's in such a small room, the sheer overwhelming power of each Alpha wolf would have had me clawing at the walls to escape. As it happened, the only thing that had me squirming in my seat was Jack's unwavering stare as I sat beside Harris in the deathly silent room, waiting for the last few Alpha's to arrive.

It was clear to me why the bi-annual Alpha Meetings were never held in Nevada if this was the size of their only conference room. Having every Alpha and Beta in such a small room would certainly lead to some heated situations. It'd be a wonder if everyone survived the three days without a least one fight breaking out; and a fight between Alpha's could wreck havoc on an entire territory.

"What's Emily doing here?" Alpha Paden, the only female Alpha currently at the table, was first to speak. The Wyoming Alpha had arrived without her companion today. "This is a matter between Alphas only."

Harris didn't answer immediately, instead meeting the gazes of the other Alpha's, as if to gage their thoughts. No one else voiced an opinion. Eventually he fixed Alpha Paden with his infamous stare, one that I knew from first-hand experience held no inch of weakness. "Think of Emily as my Acting Alpha Female."

That had Jack finally shifting his attention away from me. My old Alpha, my best friend, wanted to snap at Harris. He may have seemed calm and composed on the outside, but I knew him, I could read his moods with ease and right now there was a fury shifting deep inside him. And perhaps most importantly, jealousy.

"I wasn't aware Colorado had such a position," Jack retorted.

Another tense beat of silence fell between the Alphas.

"Well I for one don't mind Emily's presence. We all know the responsibilities she's shared before now," Alpha Delaney declared, casting a short, cautionary glance towards Jack. "I'd say she's more than proven her capabilities of sitting in on this meeting. If you'd wished to invite your Acting Alpha Male, Alpha Paden, I'd have no problem with that either."

Alpha Paden rolled her eyes, dismissing Alpha Delaney altogether as she argued, "It's more a matter of objectivity. I think after today we are all aware of Russo's disdain towards Emily. Personal grudges have no business in these meetings, you need to be impartial."

"I have no intention to weigh in with my opinion on this matter," I finally spoke up, drawing all eight Alpha's attention. Harris regarded me with a frown. I kept my eyes locked on Alpha Paden's, holding her stare. There was no amusement in her gaze but I knew better. "I agree with you Alpha Paden, I'm no Alpha, and my thoughts on the matter are certainly not warranted during an official Alpha gathering. But if my Alpha wishes for me to stay then I will."

Despite the tight pursing of her lips, Alpha Paden nodded once in agreement before turning back towards Harris, who was still watching me with narrowed eyes. I didn't know what had him looking so sour, this was probably one of the first times I wasn't unwittingly challenging his authority.

"Well then," he drawled. "Let us begin. My enforcers have gathered what I believe to be sufficient evidence to deny Benjamin Russo any rights to the Alpha position. There is little to suggest that the deceased Alpha was failing in his responsibilities as Alpha. Russo did not challenge the position officially, nor did he inform me or any other Alpha of his plans. His refusal to comply with our rules, especially in a situation of such delicate power shifts in the overall dynamic of a pack this large, is negligent. He had yet to be the Nevada Alpha for longer than ten hours and already he demonstrated incompetence and a great disregard for the wellbeing of his pack and packmates. Need I go on?"

"Are we not to wait for the other Alpha's before we deliberate on the next actions taken?" Jack addressed.

"All Alphas entered the inner boundaries of the territory thirty minutes ago. Their absence now demonstrates a lack of disinterest on the proceeds of this hearing and therefore they have forfeited their right to an opinion on this matter," Alpha Harris spoke clearly and sharply, his tone holding no room for discussion. This was a foreign side to Harris. I had not even seen this temperament during the Alpha Meetings, but this was different, today he was in charge. I suspected the Alpha Meetings were mere formality for him, he only attended out of obligation, only requested as a curtesy towards the Colorado pack. But times like these, where his authority was needed to enforce balance between the packs and their hierarchy, this was where he thrived. He had the power to overrule the other pack Alphas.

I looked around the small room, noting that the Alaskan Alpha was not present, as well as both the Alpha Males and Females of Arizona and Montana. The Alaskan Alpha rarely spoke up at meetings anyway, I imagined his lack of attendance was a choice. The absence of Arizona and Montana was odd.

The meeting proceeded slowly, most of the time spent covering the facts of the situation, and arguing over certain rules and regulations. I kept quiet throughout it all, listening intently to everything that was being said. And then the conversation finally shifted to the state of the pack, and its position without a current Alpha.

"What about his son?"

"His son is barely sixteen, he's hardly old enough to lead an entire pack."

"Weren't you eighteen when you took over yours?" Alpha Paden drawled, raising an eyebrow at Jack, the youngest Alpha by far.

"Yeah, and it was fucking tough," he insisted. "The only reason I've survived in the position is because of my father's extraordinarily intense training since the day I could walk. Something tells me Nevada's standards aren't as high."

"Okay, let's not start slandering the deceased."

"We all know it's true. He had a reputation of being a bigoted asshole who thought his pack was superior to the rest."

I held back my groan as Jack continued. I had engaged with most of the Alpha's dozen's of times over the past years and I knew for a fact they all felt similar disdain towards the Nevada Alpha. There was no question about how much of an absolute dick he was. But an official hearing on the circumstances of his death and the next actions to take to ensure the Nevada pack was in safe hands, was not the place bring it up.

"Alpha Athen!" Alpha Paden snapped, palms slamming down flat against the table as she stood up from her chair, and it was clear her wolf was on edge at the younger Alpha's defiance.

The door to the small conference room opened without warning, interrupting what I was sure was about to be a fight. Not that Jack would last two seconds against the older, more experienced Alpha. I had seen Alpha Paden spar on many an occasion and she would wipe the floor with Jack.

"In," the drawl of thick Scottish voice sounded clearly in the otherwise silence, before the body of a scrawny male wolf came stumbling into the room.

The young pup, who I knew immediately to be the deceased Nevada Alpha's boy was trembling as his eyes flicked wildly around the room of Alpha's, and he shuddered as the Alaskan Alpha stepped in after him. The boy looked tiny in comparison to the Alpha's towering height. The Alpha's biceps were thicker than my thighs, his shoulders broad and strong, his entire form so intimidating, so terrifying. And his eyes, his hair, were so dark against his pale skin. It was understandable that the 16 year old looked like he was one second away from pissing himself.

"I think Jack had a point about the boy," Alpha Delaney drawled, a small smile playing on the edge of his lips. He eyed the trembling pup, clearly unimpressed. "What's he doing here," he addressed the Alaskan Alpha.

"Go on." The Alaska Alpha placed a hand heavily on the boy's shoulder and I was genuinely worried he was about to burst into tears. Already his eyes were tinged red and there were large bags under his eyes.

"I- uh... he-he, b-ben..."

I saw jack roll his eyes at the stuttering boy and I was quick to send a scowl his way. The boy's father had just died, that deserved a little sympathy.

"Come sit down Riley," I spoke up softly, nodding to the empty chair beside me. The terrified boy froze and eyed me briefly before shuffling over to me and falling heavily into the open chair.

Understandably, the Nevada Alpha's bigoted views had warped his son's beliefs over the years, something I had come to realise on my past visits. He had taught Riley to become a nasty little thing at times, who also had certain apprehensions about my position as a pack wolf. But it was clear in this room full of powerful Alpha's, he recognised me as the safest wolf in the room.

"What do you have to tell us?" Harris asked, hesitantly, his voice softer than usual. He too clearly recognising that this was just a scared pup among us.

"He- Ben, he attacked Dad while he was asleep," Riley explained quickly, inhaling deeply as fresh tears started to fall and small sobs wracked through his body. "There was no warning, he-he cut-" Riley's voice cut out but the small hands wrapped around his own throat told us everything. "It was over in seconds."

"How do you know this?" Alpha Paden asked, leaning forward, her expression deadly serious.

"I was still awake," he sobbed, "I was coming up from the kitchen and saw Ben go into my dad's room, I wanted to ask what was happening."

"Fuck." Alpha Delaney swore softly, running a hand through his thick hair. He lent back in his chair and exhaled deeply, fixing Harris with a sharp look. "Well it was definitely murder."

Riley cried harder at his words, curled over as he sobbed into his hands.

"What do we do now? Our rules state that the Alpha's chosen heir takes the position in this situation."

"He's a child, he can't become Alpha." Jack pressed, glaring at Alpha Paden.

"I wasn't suggesting that!" She snapped back. "I'm just stating what the rules are! But by all means if you have a suggestion, speak up!"

The volume of voiced began to rise in the room and even to my hearing it was too much.

"Enough." Harris bellowed, his voice cutting through the chaos that was Jack and Alpha Paden's rising tempers. Even Riley's sob's quietened. Every wolf was on edge, even Alpha Delaney was gripping the edge of the desk with a crushing grip, barely holding back his wolf.

"Why don't," I spoke up, instantly drawing everyone's attention. I kept my eyes on Harris only. "Why don't you appoint a probationary Alpha while Riley trains at Colorado, and the other Alpha's in their territory so he can learn from you all, until he's old enough to run his own pack?"

"It's not my job to train someone else's pup," Alpha Paden sighed, a tinge of regret behind her own words.

"It's a good idea in theory girly, but like Alpha Paden said, I have ten pups of my own, adding another to that just isn't feasible."

Jack said nothing.

I understood their apprehension, training a wolf was one thing, but training an Alpha? That took time and dedication, time that an Alpha already struggled with amongst their many other responsibilities. But they didn't have many other options, and they sure as hell had yet to think of a solution.

Protocols be damn, I narrowed my eyes on the Alpha's around the room, challenging each of them if only for a second.

"Well considering you've all spent the past decade judging the Nevada pack leadership, yet unable to intervene, I thought you would jump at this chance. You're gonna have to put in a little effort if you want to enact any change. If you leave the position open to be challenged then there's a chance someone far worst than the last Alpha or Benjamin Russo could claim Alpha. And if you put this boy in charge as he is now, the pack will crumble under lack of true leadership." I all but scolded.