isabella and her family were having supper. david had just gotten home from work and he sat down.

"how was work, dear?" mary asked her husband.

"it was good, supper looks great sweetheart." david replied.

"did anyone else hear about laurie forman moving out?" bryan said.

"actually, she did move out until the guy she was living with moved back with his wife. so laurie is back home." isabella said with a laugh.

"i don't know how they deal with that girl." mary said.

"well, i hear red drinks a lot of booze." bryan said.

"son, there's nothing wrong with having a drink every few nights." david told him.

"yeah, dad. you're right." isabella said.

-

jackie was entering a pageant. donna, isabella and fez were at her house looking at her dress.

"so? so what do you think?" jackie asked twirling around.

"jackie, if you want to win, that dress has to be a lot shorter. give to fez." he said clapping his hands.

"great, looks who's here." isabella said when kelso walked in.

"okay, jackie, let's get to work." kelso said.

"well, michael, we've already done a lot. i mean, i decided on this dress, and fez is gonna do my hair." jackie told him.

"all right. but i'm gonna tell you something, jackie. i've seen pictures of his people and they aren't pretty." kelso said.

"bite me, pageant boy." fez said.

"coach! all right, fine. i guess we could use the help. fez, you can handle jackie's body and i'll take care of her mind." kelso said.

"well, okay." isabella said.

"so, jackie, does the winner get a scholarship or something?" donna asked her.

"who cares? college is for ugly girls who can't get modeling contracts." kelso scoffed.

"no, college is for women who don't want to marry the first idiot they meet and squeeze out how bastard moron children." donna said.

"burn." isabella said.

-

isabella's family was sitting at breakfast. david was talking about going out to his camp to hunt.

"you should bring bryan with you." mary said.

"yeah, dad. sounds like it could be fun." bryan said.

"okay, well, it's settled then. we'll go up to the camp together." david said.

"i hope you have plans too, bella. me and the girls are going to the spa." mary said.

"yeah, mom. i'm going to the formans house after." isabella replied.

"great. looks like everyone has something to do." david said as they all ate together.

-

all the boys were gone hunting so midge, kitty, isabella, donna and jackie were hanging out.

"so it's a stand off. i won't shave my legs, bob won't shave his back." midge said.

"okay, ew!" donna said.

"you know, red doesn't have a hairy back, and thank god for that. no offense." kitty said.

"good news for you, donna. that means eric probably won't have one either." jackie said.

"he can't even grow a mustache." donna said as isabella laughed.

"yeah, i'm not even sure he has armpit hair." isabella said.

"oh, please. eric's body is bald as can be. you know, i don't even think he hit puberty until about 15." kitty said laughing.

"really?" donna asked her.

"oh, he probably won't like that i said that." kitty said.

"oh, he definitely won't." isabella said laughing.

"i think eric's the sweetest kid. so, donna, have you and eric..." midge began.

"mother, please!" donna said.

"the answers no." jackie said.

"hey, hey. everybody just shut up." donna said.

"all right, donna." isabella said.

"well, i for one am not so naive as to think that you and eric-" kitty began.

"ahhh!" donna shouted covering her ears.

"okay, well, i guess we're upsetting her, so what should we do now?" kitty asked.

"well, if donna wasn't so uptight we could talk about-" midge began but got cut off.

"i'm gonna go home. do you want me to go home? cause i will." donna said.

"relax, donna." isabella said.

"donna, please don't go home. i think it's very nice that you're spending time with your mother. god knows, laurie won't." kitty said.

"you guys, let's play poker. i bet i'm good at it." jackie said.

"you never played poker before?" kitty asked her.

"uh uh, but i have lots of money." jackie said.

"oh, well, honey. have a seat. i'll get the cards." kitty said.

"i'll get us some drinks." isabella said.

-

"oh, wow, mom. you're not good." laurie said.

"well, you're not even playing so keep it to yourself, ms. smarty." kitty said.

"okay, i'll play." laurie said.

"you want to play cards with your mother?" kitty asked.

"sure." laurie said pulling up a seat beside donna and jackie.

"well, i am gonna call the milwaukee journal." kitty said.

"kitty? how many kings are in a pack?" midge asked her.

"four." kitty replied.

"i bet a dollar." midge said putting money in the pile.

"well, um, i see that there are four queens in a deck, too." kitty said.

"oh, mom. that is so pathetic." laurie said.

"fine, i fold." kitty said.

"i'm in." jackie said putting down more money.

"okay, uh, do you want any cards?" donna asked her.

"yeah, can i have two fives, please?" jackie asked.

"and i'll have one card." midge said.

"i will also take one card." isabella said.

"oh, it's a five. jackie, did you want this?" midge asked her.

"you gave her a five? i thought we were friends." jackie said to donna.

"okay, you know what? everybody just show your cards." kitty said.

"okay, did i win? did i win? did i win?" jackie asked.

"not even close." donna said.

"yeah, i didn't do that well either." isabella said.

"oh. well, i don't care. i don't work, so money doesn't really mean anything to me." jackie said.

"oh, how nice for you." kitty said fake laughing.

-

"full house. jacks over 10s." kitty said laughing.

"mom wins again." laurie said.

"well, this is fun, isn't this fun?" kitty asked.

"it was fun till laurie started dealing." midge said.

"hey, what's that supposed to mean?" laurie asked her.

"oh, my gosh. i think mrs. pinciotti is saying that laurie's cheating." jackie said.

"no, she's not." donna said.

"wait. yes, i am." midge said.

"my daughter does not cheat." kitty said.

"sure about that, mrs. forman?" isabella asked her.

"come on, donna. we're storming out of here." midge said.

"okay, see ya." donna said leaving.

"hold on. i'll storm with you. thank you for a lovely afternoon, mrs. forman." jackie said.

"bye, guys." isabella said before leaving with jackie.