Chapter 344

The New and the Old

Time was a ceaseless flow.

Christmas was gone. The new year passed.

The end of the school year was coming up.

All came and went without meaning to me.

The happiest times of my life were ruined.

Even Christmas had to be ruined.

Ever since that night, I never had a moment's rest.

The culprit could be anyone.

Did I trust anybody any more?

But it didn't matter, I had a purpose now.

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I prayed at the shrine on New Years Eve for Aoi and I.

For hours on end I waited with my friends in the huge crowds.

The temple grounds were always full of people jammed tight against one another;

as if we were all desperate and starving in dire need of aid.

Pushing and pulling, boisterous and noisy. People, everywhere.

Our filthy hands and feet tainted the sacred grounds.

Despite the body heat, the midnight cold ate into my lungs and skin.

I was never superstitious but somehow I felt as if nobody else can help Aoi.

The doctors couldn't. My friends couldn't. Our families couldn't.

Worse of all, I couldn't.

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I went through the motions and hoped for the best.

I hoped we were pleasing the gods.

God...did God even exist?

Was God listening?

I clamped my eyes shut

and wished with all my might

that something miraculous would take place.

Please...

But nothing happened.

Nothing ever does.

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With my hands in my pocket I let myself be led through the crowds.

What little warmth I could scavenge in my pockets was not enough.

I was shivering against the cold, almost a burning feeling on my skin.

The crowds were pressing in on all sides, shifting ever so slightly as we made our way through.

It was like swimming through a sea of bodies and disembodied faces;

apparitions floating on the deep black of the night, glowing from the street lights.

We were nearly out of the crowds when there was a strange tingling sensation at the back of my head.

Like someone was watching me.

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I spun around and peered through the crowd.

A multitude of faces greeted me, some making eye contact as my eyes combed the scene.

Was it just paranoia?

Maybe I was just tired.

"Seiji, what's wrong?" Airu appeared by my side.

"Oh, nothing." I gave her a quiet laugh.

She threw me a quick grin. "Let's go grab a snack, Seii-kun."

I stared behind us for another moment before smiling weakly.

It was probably nothing to worry about.

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"Ahhh... I'm feeling like ramen." Juria pointed excitedly down the main street at a nearby ramen shop.

I couldn't refuse the idea; a nice hot cup of tea or coffee between my hands was more than welcome.

I rubbed my hands together for warmth and shoved my hands in my pocket.

"Sounds good!" Airu grabbed my arm brightly and pulled me along.

Sighing and without a choice, I followed.

But inside my pocket, my fingers touched the little silver key I found.

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It was nearing the end of the school year.

Miracles didn't happen for me.

The first year of high school was almost over.

Yet I felt like I was older than I should be.

I wasn't sure why.

Was I tired of life?

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The end of the year ceremony was as boring as I had anticipated;

the principal and various others droned on and on.

The rigid backs of the wooden chairs lined up in the atrium

pressed against my spine,

a painful way to keep me awake.

So I stared blankly ahead, words streaming in one ear and out the other.

But not everyone felt this way.

Glancing along side, many faces were shining brightly,

proud of their accomplishments, beaming in triumph and victory.

A year has passed, they were one year older, one year closer to success.

A year has passed, they were ready to celebrate.

School was off.

But for me, a year has passed. My first in a long time without Aoi.

I can't imagine what it would be like next year.

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"Seiji!"

I felt someone wrap their arms around me.

I spun around.

"Omedetou!!" Airu said with a smile.

"For what?"

"Well you're one year older, school's out...

so that's for sure a reason to celebrate yeah?"

"Well..." I shrugged.

She grinned. "Here, follow me!"

She grabbed my arm and tugged me down the streets.

"I have something to show you."

*~ Omedetou - Congratulations

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The New and the Old

"Where are we going?" I squinted at her. I was annoyed.

She remained silent but determined and I ended up glaring at her back.

We have been moving through the afternoon crowds,

slicing through the downtown streets for the longest time;

and there was no sign of stopping.

With a weak February sun above and a slow chill creeping through our bones,

I was about ready to turn around and head back home.

The only thing that prevented me from doing so was her vice-like grip on my arm.

Though admittedly, it was a bit comforting.

That was the only place on my body that was warm.

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"It should be this line."

She tilted her head reading the signs overhead fervently.

"Where are we going?" I asked for the umpteenth time.

But she wasn't going to answer of course.

"To a place I used to go."

She said distractedly, fumbling with her cellphone.

I stared at her stupidly for a moment.

It looked like she did answer.

"Why?"

"I told you, I have something to show you."

She gave me a reassuring smile.

As curious as I was,

I merely tapped my wrist to pretend to indicate the time.

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We were sitting side by side now, shoulder to shoulder.

I could feel her arm pressed up against me, breathing softly next to me.

I didn't glance at her, instead, I fixed my eyes at my feet.

The Tokaido train was quiet and not too packed.

There were spaces here and there,

enough space to move around or pick a seat.

Outside the high rise buildings in the city changed,

slowly into suburban houses, cramped against each other;

then into the countryside, fields of outsretched land to the horizon.

No matter what it was, it sped by in the windows.

Those inside were only watching it at a distance.

It was a train travelling through time and space.

Destination: unknown.

I had a feeling this would be a long and silent ride.

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We fell asleep.

When I woke up, we were an hour away from Tokyo.

How far were we going?

I shifted my weight and grimaced as a thousand pins crept up my arm.

Airu had fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder.

For a brief moment a smile played on my lips.

Her peaceful, quiet face was unlike her usual fiery self.

Somehow, she was radiating a gentle comforting aura.

I couldn't wake her up so I stayed still.

Which station were we getting off at?

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"Perfect timing!" She grinned triumphantly.

She grabbed my arm and dragged me off the train when the doors hissed open.

The Japanese lady's voice announced our arrival with the station name. When I

was younger, we used to call her the train goddess -- because she saved our

lives countless times from dozing off.

The station we disembarked on was a small and quiet one.

Not many were seen here.

As far as I could see,

around the station were far-stretched rice fields and small little houses.

Where were we?

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The New and the Old

"Seems like you take this train often?" I followed her.

"I used to come out here more often. Not anymore."

"I see... What for?"

She stopped by the vending machine next to the exit.

"Want something?" She asked cheerfully.

I watched as she searched her pockets for coins

but came out empty handed.

I gave her a grin and tossed her a few coins.

"Thanks." She smiled.

But as I observed her, I had a odd feeling that

there must be an even darker shadow in her heart

... not for the first time.

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She tossed me a can a few moments later.

"Barley tea?" I looked at her incredulously. "You drink this stuff?"

She laughed. "Of course! It's good!"

I've had the drink before but it wasn't something I would purchase from a vending machine.

I was surprised. It seems like I was learning something new about Airu everyday.

After a sip I had to agree cold barley tea was not bad at all.

We left the station and made a right down an open field lined on both sides with rice paddies.

Since it was still cool they appeared forlorn and abandoned.

Here, there was not a soul.

It was like we were in our own world.

But this world was tainted with sadness and loneliness.

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By the time she finally stopped

I could feel the spring chill

creeping into my bones

through my thin jacket.

"Are we there yet?"

"Yeah." Her voice was soft, saturated with memories.

I followed her gaze and saw a ramshackle middle school not too far away.

The colour on its walls were fading and there was graffiti scattered throughout.

A high barricaded fence rose around it on all four sides.

I only knew it was a school from the sign.

The only thing that separated its existence from that of a prison.

"Did... you go to school here?" I raised an eyebrow.

She was silent for a moment.

"Yeah I did."

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"You what??"

I studied the school in front of me.

"Here??"

She smirked. "Yeah. I was a tough kid."

I was speechless. I watched as three boys with bleached hair shoved someone out of the way.

"Why?"

"My parents were often on business trips, and I stayed with my aunt in this area.

I was a rebel in elementary and then they threw me here to 'learn a lesson'."

We grew quiet for a while.

"So..were you okay?"

"Not at all. I brought you here to tell you about it."

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~ Airu's Flashback ~

The sound of a thousand pounding feet echoed in my ear.

It was nearly as loud as my heartbeat.

I thought I heard myself scream too.

My legs were shaking, shaking; won't stop shaking.

The skirt was not enough to hide me away.

Please go faster. Please go faster.

Tears ran down my face like a hot shower.

I wasn't sure why the tears came because,

nothing was in my mind but the words run, run, run.

An alleyway up ahead. My last chance.

"Come back here you slut!"

But the voices were only nearer.

I screamed a soundless cry of despair inside.

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The New and the Old

The alleyway gave way to an open road, tall green crops on both sides.

Even the bright sun made a mockery of me. The heat was weakening my resolve and my body.

I was not very athletic and I was covered in sweat and tears.

I stole a glance behind me and saw the five girls still in hot pursuit, screaming incoherent curses.

That was a mistake because the next moment, I was on the ground.

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The New and the Old

They were standing over me by now, jeering and taunting me.

I could feel myself pressed up on the ground;

dirt on my face, filling my nose, making me cough.

I could barely breathe, I was soaked in sweat and trembling uncontrollably.

My soft skin was now dusty and I hated the feeling.

My ears barely took in the insults that were thrown at me,

because I felt a sharp pain on my lower back.

She had her shoe digging into me.

I couldn't move no matter how much I told my body to.

I wanted to cry and to scream but nothing came out of me.

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"You knew this was coming!"

"Your fault for messing with us!"

"You slut!" I felt someone grab my hair and pull back my head painfully.

"Let go of me!" My voice finally came through feebly.

It was all because of him. All because of him.

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It was all a game to them.

I was just a toy. And now I had fallen right into their trap.

He lied to me. I never knew he had a girlfriend....

Leave me alone!

But they wouldn't, instead they pulled out something from their bag.

Out of the corner of my eye. A flash of silver.

I knew if I didn't outrun them something bad would happen...

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I felt them pull on my hair.

I screamed in protest.

The silver was getting nearer and nearer.

Above, the sun bore down on me.

The cries of seagulls overhead jeered and taunted.

I was prey.

This time the prey didn't get away.

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The other times were close calls but my luck had finally run out.

I tried to be strong.

Bue yet again I was alone.

Always alone.

I close my eyes tight and clenched my fists.

My eyes burned with tears streaming down my face.

Why me?

It was always me.

Abandoned.

Lost.

Unwanted.

At that moment I decided I'd rather have the silver come down on my throat.

Kill me. Kill me now.

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The New and the Old

"Leave her alone."

I opened my eyes.

Who?

It was an old woman's voice.

I couldn't see her because she was behind me.

I heard the girl on top of me snicker.

I think her name was Hana.

Which meant flower - some flower she was.

I felt dust in my eyes and had to squeeze my eyelids shut.

I held my breath but the weight on my back lifted

and my hair was released roughly,

my face pressed into the ground again.

"You are on my property."

Said the voice.