"I can't do this" I say to Benedict as he and I walk towards my house.

"Of course you can" he says.

"He will Hate me" I say to him.

"He forgave you after we slept together so maybe he will forgive you for this too as it is almost the same situation" he says to me.

"But this is a child Ben, it is not as easier to forget. I mean if it is yours then he will always have that reminder" I say.

"If he really loves you he will eventually forgive".

"I hope that's true" I say.

he puts his hand on my back as we walk in the door.

I can't help but shudder.

" Your ok, I wont try anything" he laughs.

" Sarah darling is that you?, I am in the Kitchen" I hear tom shouts.

I take a deep breath.

"Ready?" Ben whispers.

"As ready as I am ever going to be " I sigh.

I walk into the kitchen first.

Tom wraps his arm around my waist.

"And how is my favorite lady in the world?" he asks kissing me.

"Tom..I..we need to tell you something" I say to him.

"We?" he asks confused.

"Hello again tom" Ben says coming into the kitchen.

Toms smile turns into a frown.

"What is he doing here".

"We need to tell you something" I say again.

"What have you done Sarah?" he asks.

"Just sit down" I sigh.

I tell him everything I told Benedict.

He just sits their in silence.

"Tom?" I say quietly.

Still no answer..

" You ok tom?" Ben asks.

Tom looks at him.

"Get out" he says to ben.

"What?" ben asks.

"You heard me, get out of my house" Tom says standing up.

Ben looks at me.

"Just go" I sigh.

He hesitates for a moment before leaving.

"Tom please say something to me' I say to him.

"I need some fresh air" he says going to the back garden.

I follow him.

Her turns around.

"On my own" he adds.

"Tom please i..."

" Sarah please, i just want time on my own" he interrupts me.

"Ok" i sigh,

He leaves not looking back.

"Why does this have to happen to me?" i say to myself.

I turn on the tv and sit down on the Sofa.

I don't know what else to do.

--

I must have fallen asleep because when i awake Tom is sitting on the oppisite side of me.

"Tom?, why did you not wake me".

"I like to watch you sleep". he says.

"Tom, i think we should talk" i say to him.

"Talk?, we already have, have we not?" he says.

" We can't just leave it though can we?, i mean you haven't said anything about it".

"What is their to say Sarah, The woman i love might be carrying another mans child" he says.

" It might be yours".

"But we don't know do we?" he says.

"I know, Tom i am sorry".

He sighs.

"I know but i have one thing i do have to say" he says to me.

"Yes?".

"The wedding" he says.

"What about it".

"I want to postpone it, untill we find out whos baby this really is" he says

I nod,

"Ok i am fine with that" i say to him.

"I am going to go and stay at Chris tonight" he says suddenly.

"What!, why?" i say,

"I just think it is best for tonight. Don't worry i will be back tomorrow morning" he says getting up.

"I am truly sorry tom" i say to him.

"I know" he sighs......

-------

I am not fit to be a Mother. I dont know if i ever will be.

What if i am like my own mother?..

Oh what am i going to do!.

I wish...i oh i don't know. I do not regret meeting Ben because part of me does love him but i just wish i had been careful and did not let this happen.

I guess i won't know until it comes whether or not i will be a good mother.

Does it just come naturally?.

How will i cope if neither tom or ben will be their?.

They will be their wont they.....

I quickly dial Rachel's Number.

However it goes straight to voice mail.

I hang up without leaving a message.

I can not help feeling so alone right now....