I wake up in an unuasual place. I sit up quickly pushing someones arm off me.

I look at that someone to see Benedict....

What have i done!?.

"Ben get up!, get up" i say shoving.

He wakes and then smiles,"So i wasn't dreaming".

"Are you trying to be funny?, because this really isn't funny. I have just slept with you" i say getting up.

i go to find my top but Ben grabs me back and kisses me.

I push him off.

"What are you doing!?" i shout.

He looks a little shocked.

"I am sorry i shouldn't be doing that but i...i can't help it.

"Well you will just have help it, i am engaged Benedict".

"You could call it off".

"Why could i do that?" i say turning away.

He pulls me back round gently.

"Look at me and tell me you aren't in love with me" he says.

I look at him...."I...i don't know but i do love tom and he was their when you werent, if you had come first then maybe things would have been different" i say tears now down my face.

He lets go of my hand. " i get it i was too late, i am sorry. it was wrong of me to lead you on but i am not going to give up, if you ever change your mind".

I kiss him gently. "I am sorry Benedict but i can't, i may be in love with you but i also love tom, i agreed to marry him, and that is what i must do".

"If your sure, i will always be here".

I wipe the tears away. "Oh benedict, i can't...i can't do this" i grab my skirt and quickly run out.

I zip up my skirt on the landing and the run down the stairs.

I don't know if Benedict was calling for me or if he went after me because i just kept running and running.

What am i going to do?. How can expain my dissaperance to tom?.

I quickly get my phone out and dial rachels number.

"Hello?" she says.

"thank god, rachel, i need your help" i say now crying.

"Sarah?, whats wrong?" she says.

"I did a terrible thing" i cry.

"What?, what did you do?".

"I..I slept with Benedict".i spit out.

Suddenly i hear my name behind me.

I turn around to find Tom standing behind me..

"Tom..I....I can explain". i say.

"No please don't, i don't want to hear it" Tom says walking away.

"Tom!, please wait". i say running after him.

"No sarah" he says getting into his car.

"Please!" i shout.

He drives off leaving me behind.

I just collapse on the spot and burst into tears.

I had to get drunk didn't i, i just had to let him leave me astray.

I am just...how did this happen to me.

I did not want this kind of life.

Why can it not just be simple.

I make my way back up to Benedicts place.

I have no where else to go.

"Are you ok?" he asks me when i walk back in,

"Are you seriously asking that" i say to him.

"OK, i know not the best question" he says.

"I just don't know what to do, my wedding is in the next month and he just found out i slept with you".

"You never told me it was next month?" he says.

" It was a secret but pointless now". i sigh.

"Why because you love me or because he found out?">

"A bit of both" i admit.

He doesnt say anything for a while and then takes me hand.

"I am only going to ask this once but it has been on my mind...I could take you away from this,all the pain, the past. Come away with me and you will never have to face your past again". he says to me..

"Do you really mean it?" i ask him.

"Yes, I love you and i know somewhere in you, there is love for me too". he says.

"But tom" i sigh.

"He would understand, Unless of course you love him more?" he says.

"You know i love you and him, i just don't know who to choose....does that make me a horrible person" i ask.

"No...it makes you human" he says.

I sigh.

"I am sorry Ben i can not run away with you, it is not right".

His smile fades but he nods his head.

"Ok, i understand but i want you to have this just in case you change your mind" he says to me.

He hands me over a plane ticket that is going from London to California.

"Thank you Ben" i say kissing his forehead.

"Now go and sort this out with Tom before i change my mind and not let you leave" he says looking away.

I get out quickly, tears starting to appear.

I never really knew how i fell in love with Benedict...I just happened.

I quickly get my car keys out and jump into my car.

I try dialing toms number but theirs no answer.

I quickly leave the drive and go as quickly as i can to my house.

I am driving at 70 mph, luckily there is no traffic.

I turn on the radio.

Suddenly my phone rings.

I pick it up quickly and answer..

"Tom!?". i say.

" Sarah thank god, It is Rachel. You need to get to the Hospital quick" she says to me.

"Why what has happened" i say worried.

" I will explain when you get here, just please be quick".

She hangs up on me.

What has happened?........