"I cant go back. . ." I look down at the ground.

"What do you mean 'you cant go back' Hinata?" I shake my head holding more tears from flodding out of me.

"You wouldnt understand." I shake my head once more and look up at him.

"Stop being stupid, c'mon we aint got all night. We have a shit ton of matches tomorrow!" He grips my wrist and i yank it back.

"YOU MEAN I DO?! BECAUSE FROM WHAT YOUVE SHOWN, YOUR NOT GONNA PLAY ANYMORE!!!" He steps back as if i had punched him in the face. I cant see his facial expression very well but from the looks of it. . . it looks different. . . he seems hurt.

"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND FUCKER!-" Before he could continue I cut him off so I dont have to hear and excuse.

"I DONT UNDERSTAND?! I DONT BECAUSE YOU DONT LET ME HELP YOU. YOU EXPECT TO DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN NOT CARING IF YOUR WORRYING OTHERS!!!" He shoves me back by my shoulders.

"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW IT IS TO BE DIFFERENT! YEAH YOUR SHORT BUT YOUR NOT EXPECTED TO BE ANYTHING. THE ONE PERSON YOU LOOKED UP TO HASNT LEFT YOU WITH NOTHING!" I shove him back with much more force than he used as sobs escape from me.

"I AM DIFFERENT FROM ALL OF YOU! YOU ARE WHO I LOOK UP TO KAGEYAMA AND YOU NEVER EVEN CAME TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU JUST PUSH ME AROUND TELLING ME WHAT I CANT DO!!!" I see a blurry image come from the right side as Kageyamas fist lands a blow on my cheek. I flail backwards onto the comcrete floor and grab my cheek.

"YOUR NOT DIFFERENT! EVERYONE LOVES YOU. AND DONT LOOK UP TO ME BECAUSE THATS ALL I WILL EVER DO! I WILL ONLY EVER BRING YOU DOWN!" Suddenly. . . those few words made my heart stop beating. . . We used to say as a team we will always hold each other up. . . but here I am. . . On the ground staring up at a man. . . someone I thought would carry me through the thick. Someone i thought had my back. . . but instead it was someone who stab my back and left me to die. I cant take it anymore.

"IM A GIRL KAGEYAMA!" I yell at the top of my lunges making sure it shoots straight through his thick skull to his brain.

"I HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE A BOY TO BE TREATED EQUALLY AND NOT WEAK! DOMT RAMBLE ON ABOUT YOUR ISSUES ABOUT BEING DIFFERENT WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO BE DIFFERENT. I DIDNT CHOOSE TO BE BORN THIS WAY BUT I WAS!!! YOU CHOOSE TO PUSH AWAY ANYONE WHO WANTS TO HELP YOU AND TAKE EVERYTHING OUT ON YOURSELF!!!" He stumbles backwards gripping his fists together.

"W-w-what?" He stutters. The lights flicker on revealing who I really am. He looks from my toes to my face. I feel my cheek already beginning to swell. He stands there in shock at what he said and done. I stand up and turn around.

"H-Hinata. . ."

"Shut up." I say before walking away leaving him standing there. I cant take it anymore. I'm tired of hiding and trying to help him when he doesnt want my help.

"Hinata!" He yells just before I try rounding the corner. I turn my head scolding him. . . something id never done before. I feel the anger running through my veins. . . this isnt the same as in a match. . . its nothing I've ever felt before. . . i think it's. . . hate. Hatred not to Kageyama. . . but to myself. To put myself through so much and accomplish nothing. . .

"I really liked you Kageyama. . . I had for a while now but. . . I guess I'm just like any other girl. Falling for all the wrong guys." Tears roll down my cheek as I smile and walk away. My heart has never felt so heavy. Ive never said such harmful things or felt so bad. I wish I could take it back but I know I shouldn't and I dont deserve that. I feel like all confidence and pride has been ripped from me. . . not by anyone else but me. My cheek begins to burn as I see a large clock on a skyscraper. I should probably head back to sleep but. . . I dont think I can ever fool someone again. I'm just a girl and I guess I finally see you cant escape the role you have been given.

Since I left my phone in the sleeping quarters I have to head into a shop and ask to borrow a phone. I dial up my mothers number feeling numb inside. The man at the counter of the small store hands me a ice packet saying I could keep it. I press it against my cheek making my mouth water and pain shoot through my face. He asks me what happened but my mom picks up before I devide whether imma answer or not.

"Mom, its Hinata, can you please come pick me up?" I say gently trying to hide the pain in my voice.

"Oh yes Sweetie, what happened and why are you calling me from a convenient store?" I smile thinking it would help make me feel better but I only feel more heavy.

"Oh nothing! I just dont feel very well and I don't want to get the others sick."

"Okay, I'm on my way right now. What's the address of the store you are at?"

"XXXXXXXXXX, thanks mom."

"I love you, see you soon sweetie."

"See you soon mom, love you too." I give the phone back to the cashier and ask if I could stay awhile while my mom made her way. He said yes. I layed my head against the counter and place the ice pack back on my cheek. I think of all the things Kageyama and I said to each other and evedything that had happened today. How could I let myself be played that way. . . I thought I could be as great as a man but. . . I only fooled myself even more falling in love with a man.

"Wanna tell me whats on your mind?" The man asks while cleaning up the store. Its theeir closing hour so im pretty grateful for him letting me stay. And. . . since I'm having a bad enough day. . . maybe telling someone will make me feel better.

"Well, ive been hiding my identity from my volleyball team for a while. . . I pretended to be a boy with them. . ." I continued telling him everything. Occasionally a tear would fall and my nose would get runny. He handed me a few tissues making me feel a little better. He was a good listener and made me feel comfortable. He explained to me that woman are also capable of many things that men cant do as well. That females are not weaker but equal to males in unique ways.

He also told me I should talk with Kageyama. . . He says when someone is left alone they start acting the way they are treated and some people don't know how to treat there friends because they arent used to real friends. . . its kinda true when dealing with Kageyama. He always did stuff alone because its how he was raised. He was good at everything so no one bothered to help and paid so much attention to what he was good at that they didnt think he needed help at anything. So it just grew on him. . . I bow my head as my mom honks the horn outside of the store.

"Thank you for letting me stay sir."

"No problem Hinata. Also, ill see you at practice camp tomorrow." Huh? Now he is creeping me out.

"Hoshiumi Korai."

"Shoyo Hinata. . . see you tomorrow at training camp." We smile at each other and part ways. Hoshiumi Korai. . . it sounds so familiar. I stop at the door to turn around and wave goodbye at him. He gives a whole hearted smile waving back. I head to my car and open the door.

"Hey uhm. . . mom? I'm sorry. . . can you please take me back to training camp." She nods her head and smiles.

"Who was that young man you were talking to Hinata?"

"Oh, Hoshiumi Korai." She smiles nodding her head. I sit against the window telling her as well what happened and what Hoshiumi had told me. He seemed very familiar but still stays a blurry image. My mom drives up to entrance of training camp dropping me off. We say our goodbue and I love you before I walk inside and she drives off. I take a big breath before walking through the halls to the sleeping quarters. I hesitate while reaching for the doornob and leave my hand there for a few moments.

I hear chatter on the other side of the door. A few mentions of my name but everything else is drowned out. I open the door slowly looking down and avoiding eye contact with everyone. And awkward silence floats through the air as I feel there eyes on me.

"Uhm uh. . . Hinata. . ." Tanaka starts but stop leaving the air even more awkward.

I look up slightly at all of them. . . Their heads are down as well. . . there eyes. . . arent judging me.

"Hinata, they know now." Sugawara says while grabbing my shoulder. I nod my head and drop it back down. The silence grows more and more until Asahi cuts through it like a hot blade through butter.

"Hinata, no matter what you are you're still our little ball of sunshine. You being a uhm. . . female doesn't mean anything to us-" he stutters for words in the end so Nishinoya and Tanaka interupt.

"YOUR STILL STRONG AND FAST HINATA! AND YOUR STILL A KARASUNO CROW!!!" Everyone begins to make eye contact with me. I smile making their faces lighten up.

"I'm sorry I kept this from you guys. . . I just felt that I wouldnt be treated as powerful if people knew I was a girl." Sugawara rubs my back making me feel at ease as my eyes begin to burn.

"Thank you. And I won't let you guys down!" We all smile and yell out a hoorah. I begin to look around at everyone. Everyone is here except Kageyama. . .

"Hey uhm. . . anyone know where Kageyama is?" They all shake there heads.

"He left right after the shower to the city, he never came back." Daichi answers. I pick up my phone from my sash dialing up his number and letting my phone ring. It rings for awhile before going to voicemail.

I try calling once more but recieve the same answer.

"Leave a message after the beep. Beeeep!" I hang up and set my phone down.

"I'm just really tired, lets go to sleep." I lay down on my foton on my side and feel a ton of eyes on me. I sit up to see them all staring at me intently.

"GUYS!" They all look away blushing and rubbing the back of their heads awkwardly.

"Sorry." They all say in unison. I grab a blanket and wrap it around my body laying back down. The lights are shut off and I close my eyes peacefully. My mind is clouded by the words shared between me and Kageyama in the city. The pain in those words, the feeling behind them. . . the hate. . . My mind races with things I need to tell him, things I want to tell him. How I wish I could tell him sorry right now. . . These thoughts just make me even more tired and eventually I give in to the darkness.

I rub my eyes sitting up and yawning. Everyone else is still asleep. I check the time on my phone seeing it is 6 AM. We dont have to wake up for another hour, I guess I could get a head start with Kagey. . . Oh yeah. . . no one knows where he is. I reach for my phone to dial up his number again but pull back deciding its best to leave him alone.

Suga sits up unexpectedly stretching out his arms and back.

"I know what your thinking Hinata. I know I'm not Kageyama and you wont get the full joy but, if you want ill set for you while we wait until the practice matches start." We both smile at each other and head in seperate bathroom stalls to get dressed. We make our way to the gymnasium grabbing a ball and walking up to a net. Its silent except for the echoe of our footsteps. We have a good 50 minutes to practice.

"Thanks you Sugawara." He nods his head and smiles.

"No problem small fry." We both let out a few laughs.

"Hey! You cant call me that." We both slowly let our laughs die down before Suva begins to toss the ball up and I begin spiking. Today I didnt wrap up my chest, I can jump a lot higher and run a lot faster, though I do fill a bit pain as I land due to my boobs. But I can still do this. I jump as high as I ever have ending up above the net and spike the ball down. The power I put behind it makes the ball race towards the floor and leave a loud pounding. You can see where the ball hit the floor.

"Geesh Hinata! What was that?!" Sugawara yells shocked.

"I'm going all out from now on." I say clutching my fists. I am determined to become the best volleyball player EVEN IF IM A GIRL!!!