Ƭhe next morning, Rey sat on the couch in the library reading. She had been there for a few hours when Ben came looking for her. He made his way across the room to stand next to her. He was a little timid as he approached after their fight the day before. He decided not to mention anything about her father, even though he still wished that she would talk about what was bothering her.

"You can read?" he asked, surprised and impressed as he noticed the book in her hand. Most children who grew up on the streets as she had didn't know how to read or write. He had intended to teach her how to read, but it seemed there was no need. He was proud of her for overcoming her circumstances. But if he was completely honest, he had been looking forward to teaching her how to read and write. It would have given him an excuse to spend more time with her, perhaps get to know her a little better.

She nodded. She didn't want to speak to him, but she knew that hatred was wrong even if he did deserve it. She looked at him, taking a deep breath. She had to at least try, especially after he had tried to help her overcome her past the day before. And now he seemed so impressed, she didn't like him but she did like how it felt when he looked at her that way. At times she felt like she was just someone he had to settle for, but when he looked at her like that she could hope that wasn't true.

She could tell that he'd asked the question in an attempt to spark a conversation with her. Perhaps get to know her a little more. She didn't want to get to know him. But since she would be stuck with him for the rest of her life, she might as well at least know what to expect. "My father taught me how to read before he...before he died..." her voice broke for a moment. She didn't like talking about her father, it was too painful. But she hoped that mentioning it would stir some memory in him. That maybe she could finally hear the explanation she'd waited twelve years to hear. Perhaps even an apology for what he had done, not that it would change anything.

She looked into his eyes for a moment but saw no sign of recognition. All she could see was compassion and sympathy, things she had never dreamed this monster of a man could feel. He moved half a pace forward as if to comfort her. She spoke quickly to stop him, she didn't want him to comfort her. "I spent most of my life alone. Books were my only companion."

"It was the same for me," he answered. "What do you like to read?"

"I like fairytales, adventure stories, and legends. One of my favorites was the legend of Queen Padme and the Knight, Anakin," she answered.

"My grandparents?" he asked, surprised.

She nodded, though she hadn't realized that he was their grandson until then. They had always been legends in her mind.

"We have paintings of them here at the castle. I can show them to you sometime if you would like, my lady."

"That would be nice. Thank you, your majesty," she replied.

He nodded, then he was quiet for a moment. "I have always looked up to my grandfather," he said.

"Not surprising," she answered looking back down at her book. Anakin was a great king, but he had betrayed Alderaan after his wife died. He had nearly destroyed the kingdom. But Queen Leia and her twin brother, Luke had stopped him. According to the legends, Luke had changed his father just before he died. Rey wasn't sure if that was true or not.

"What became of your uncle?" she asked.

"He gave the throne up to my mother. He said that the kingdom was safer in her hands than his. He lives in the mountains training young boys in the art of swordsmanship. I was trained by him myself."

Rey nodded, she was trying to have a pleasant conversation with him. But that wasn't an easy thing to do with someone that she hated so much. Even the sight of him made her angry. She had to fight with all of her strength to keep that anger from entering her voice.

Ben thought about the legends, about how his uncle had helped his grandfather change just before he died. Maybe if my grandfather could change, so can I, he thought. "Rey... do you think that a man can change?"

She didn't answer, she stood up and put the book back on the shelf so that she wouldn't have to look at him.

"...or am I lost?" he continued, feeling his heart breaking. He hoped that he wasn't, that there was still some hope for him. He didn't want to be the monster Snoke had turned him into, but he hadn't had a way out until he'd been brought back to here. But if he couldn't change, what was the point? He didn't want to ruin her life or his parents' lives.

"I don't know," she forced herself to speak, hoping that her voice wouldn't crack. How could she believe that someone so evil could change?

There was a long silence between them before Ben spoke.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you yesterday," he said.

She nodded. He had only been trying to help her by getting her to talk about what was troubling her. It was a painful subject but she knew that his intentions weren't to hurt her. And she couldn't be angry with him for that. But he was the one that had caused that pain and in her heart, she couldn't forgive him for killing her father. She knew that it was war, a world of kill or be killed; people died on both sides. But she needed someone to blame...someone to hate. And hating him for her father's death was easy, she had done it since he died. It was Kylo Ren's blade that pierced him. Kylo Ren who led the attack against her village and Kylo Ren who had betrayed Alderaan.

Ben watched her for a moment before he pulled a necklace up from beneath the neckline of his shirt. It was a simple necklace: a leather cord with a crystal tied to the end of it. He had found the crystal on the side of a volcano in Mustafar where Snoke's fort was hidden. He had made it into a necklace and kept it for years, planning to give it away if he ever fell in love. He had never thought that he would until he met her.

The more time he spent with her, the more he felt that he was beginning to fall in love with her. He wasn't sure what it felt like to be in love. He only knew that he couldn't stop thinking about her. And when he looked at her, a fuzzy feeling would fill the pit of his stomach. When he touched her hand, it almost felt as if his heart had skipped a beat. His compassion for her had quickly began to fade into love.

He hadn't known her very long, but there were so many things he admired about her. There were the things that he was sure any man who'd seen her admired. Her beauty, her strength, she was smart and kind at heart. He also admired her flaws, she was broken and filled with anger, just as he was. But she didn't let that turn her into a bad person as he had. She was the only person he'd ever met whose eyes mirrored his own pain. If she could go on with life after she'd lost everything, so could he. That was one reason he loved her so much, she was his only hope. The only light he had in his life.

He just wanted to help heal her from her broken past as she was beginning to do for him. It was hard for him to even feel the pain of his past when he looked into her eyes and saw the grief in them.

He was a little nervous to admit his true feelings to her. But he was willing to face the fear stirring within him. He didn't want to be afraid to show his wife that he cared about her.

He looked at her, wondering if now was a good time to give it to her. He wasn't sure if she would like it. His parents had given her many fine gowns and elegant pieces of jewelry as a wedding present, and the necklace looked dull in comparison. Though she rarely wore any of the expensive jewelry, except for her wedding ring which she wore every day. But he had a feeling that it was for his mother's sake, not his.

He decided that now was a good time, she seemed so depressed. Maybe it would cheer her up a bit.

He took a deep breath, he didn't know if she would accept the necklace, but it was the only thing that he had to give her. He could ask his parents for something, but it wouldn't feel the same. It wouldn't truly be from him. He took another deep breath, if he didn't gather the courage to give it to her now, he might never do it. He removed the necklace, then he slowly approached her.

She was turned away from him, and she turned to face him as she heard his footsteps.

"I have a gift for you," he said softly. He held out the necklace for her to see. "I found this crystal in the volcanos of Mustafar, I've kept it for years. I wanted to give it to the one I love."

Rey couldn't hide her surprise, she couldn't believe that he had actually used the L-word. But she didn't believe that he really loved her. He hadn't said that he did. He only said that he was saving the necklace for the one he loved, and now that they were married he was stuck with her. He could never find love just as she couldn't. So perhaps he decided to give it to her knowing that she was the only one he could be with. Or perhaps he was trying to bribe her. Was he trying to bribe her into giving him her love? It wouldn't work.

"You can't buy my affection, your majesty," she said in a stern voice, void of compassion.

(Art by xWinter-Wolf )

He swallowed hard, he didn't mean it to sound that way. After all, if he wanted to buy her affection, he would have done so with something far more valuable. "I don't want to. This is my wedding gift to you. I would have gotten more for you, but I was unprepared. I could ask my parents for something, but that wouldn't truly be from me. I don't really know how to express my feelings, because it has been so long anyone has done so for me. I'm giving this to you to show you my affection, not to buy your's."

She didn't want anything from him, she could never wear it. It would just remind her of him and that would only make her angry. "I don't want anything from you," she replied coldly.

Ben nodded, trying to conceal his broken heart. He replaced the necklace around his neck and tucking it under the neckline of his shirt. He wanted to give her his affection, but it seemed that she didn't want it in any form. He knew that people needed to be shown love in different ways, he'd tried speaking, he'd tried giving her a gift, he'd promised not to touch her...he was running out of ideas. But he wouldn't give up, he would continue to give her affection even if all he got in return was her hate.

He sighed and decided to change the subject. "I hope you don't mind... I have some royal duties to attend to," he said.

She nodded, not even wanting to speak to him; or look at him ever again. How dare he claim to care about her, when he'd caused her so much grief.

"My parents have requested your presence and I... I want you to come with me," he added the last words shyly.

"As you wish, your majesty," she said simply.

"I'm sorry to ask this of you but I'm afraid to face the royal council after... after everything I've done," he said. "And you are the future queen of Alderaan, my parents want you to start getting accompanied with some of Alderaan's allies."

She nodded. "Yes your majesty," she said, her voice had no sign of compassion.

"Rey, you don't have to call me 'your majesty,' you know," he told her, gently.

"Then what should I call you, your highness?" she asked, still speaking to him in such a formal way, yet with a sharp undertone that bothered him deep down.

He knew that by society, she was the lowest person in the kingdom and he was the highest, but he saw her as an equal. If he was completely honest, he saw her as being above him. She was his wife and to him she came first. His eyes softened and he spoke to her tenderly. "You're my wife, you can call me whatever you want." He wanted her to know that he did not see her as being below him in any way. They were married and she didn't have to treat him like a prince.

"As you wish... Kylo Ren," she said coldly, then she turned to walk away.

The words burned like fire and cut like daggers. Why would she call him that? It was the name he had used when he was an enemy of Alderaan. Why did she have to remind him of the most painful part of his past? Surely she must know the weight of guilt that rested on his shoulders from the things he had done wrong. He clenched his fists to stop himself from allowing the tears that stung his eyes to spill out. All of the terrible things he had done came back to him in a painful wave. He sighed, she would never feel the same way about him that he felt her. But he knew that he didn't deserve her love.

They walked down the halls in silence for several moments. Finally, Ben could bear no more of the silence which was heavy with an uncomfortable, painful tension. "Why did you use that name?"

"Because I hate you," she answered coldly, her voice was just as hurtful as her words. "Just because we're married, doesn't mean that I love you... I don't and I never will."

Her words cut his heart like a knife. He could feel tears burning his eyes and he stopped a few of them from escaping. He was silent for several moments, as he fought back the tears and tried to keep them from entering his voice. Finally, he spoke in a low voice barely above a whisper. He knew that if he dared anything more, his voice would break. "Rey, why... why do you hate me?"

She stopped and turned to look at him. Her eyes were so full of hate that he could feel them burning a hole in his heart. "Because... because you're a monster!" She turned away from him.

She looked back at him, waiting for him to throw a comeback at her. For him to call her a filthy scavenger. To tell her that he was a prince and she was nothing but a lowly servant, that she had no right to speak to him in such a way. There were so many things that he could use as a comeback that would be true. If he wanted he could even have her thrown into the dungeon. But he stayed quiet for so long that it almost made her feel guilty enough to take back her words... even though she meant them with all of her heart.

I knew that she would never see me as anything but a monster, he thought. But it's true, I am. I can never be forgiven for what I've done. Not by her, not by my parents, not even by God.

"Yes... I am a monster," he said sadly, then he turned and walked down the hall.

As she watched him leave she felt a strange pain in her chest.

(Art by Brandon Frazbear)