Reasons why Raavi is your average teenage girl-

1)She does not have a personality.

2)She is as basic as a non-snowflake.

3)She is lazy enough to be passed off as a depressed teenage.

4)She has placed an order of a nitrogen cylinder to asphyxiate herself.

5)She wants to be in a John green novel.

Reasons why she SHOULD NOT be anywhere near Saransh,her nemesis and crush (and especially not make any deal with him)-

1)She has a nagging suspicion that he is better than her, as a person and all.

2)He apparently likes to engage with her.

3)He probably would not help her in world domination.

4)He does seem like the person who calls suicidal people, cowards.

5)As beautiful as he is, he is not her John green novel hero.

She has a plan.Some temporary chemical hormonal reactions cannot deter her from achieving her ultimate purpose.

RIGHT!?

I appreciate the color scheme used, as it helps the cover look organized and professional. The cover also hints at the genre (from looking at it, I know it's not fantasy or paranormal) so it draws in the appropriate audience for your story. It's simple and clean. The only thing I'd change is the title—it should be easy to read at first glance. Since your title is pretty long, using the same cursive font can look messy on the cover. Instead, I suggest experimenting with different fonts. Perhaps you could use two different fonts to avoid the repetition and experiment with the placement of the title. This is optional, of course, and if you ever decide to change your cover, I have some fabulous cover shops featured in my reading list on my profile for you to check out!

Your title is unique and oozes with personality. From first glance, I can sense your humor and fun personality projected in this story. It represents a general theme occurring throughout your story (or from your five chapters, as I can tell). I took off a few points because the title is bordering on too long. A title longer than five words is considered too long, as short titles are easier to remember, and your title is exactly five words long. You can keep it as it is, but if you decide to change it in the future, I'd suggest using a shortened version of it. And, of course, it should still fully represent your story.

I appreciated the humor incorporated in the blurb. It helped me get the mood of your story and understand your protagonist right off the bat. I noticed a few things that I would change. For example, your grammatical errors. You need a space after a comma—you need spaces after any punctuation, including a period as well. I suggest changing "teenage" in #3 to "teenager." "Green" in John Green should be capitalized, as it's part of a name. You can also check out the grammar section and apply my suggestions to your blurb from there. Your blurb is also on the longer side. I suggest cutting it down by omitting a few unnecessary details. Try to limit the lists to 3 or 4 instead of having 5 items on a list. That way, your blurb is short, but packed with humor. Passing readers should be hooked by the first few sentences, and impatient readers will appreciate the short length.

The first few sentences had me hooked. "I do not have a personality" is a humorous, short way to start off the story. It additionally immediately puts me in your character's mindset, and it was easy to sympathize with her because of your character reflecting upon herself right from the start. I noticed a few grammatical errors. For example, you need spaces after commas, and you have comma splices. Some parts of your first paragraph are slightly confusing, and I'd restructure it to be more concise and easy to understand, as it feels like your character is a slight contradiction of herself .

You struggled with your punctuation and capitalization with dialogues. If your dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (he said, she yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. For example, it doesn't make sense for the clause, "She said," to be a sentence by itself. Therefore, it's part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence isn't complete, and the start of a dialogue tag is not capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. The opposite goes for action tags. If your dialogue is accompanied by an action tag (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action), the action should not be part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue doesn't help the action tag make sense; the action tag should be a sentence by itself. Therefore, the dialogue should end in a period to signify the end of the sentence, and the start of the action tag should always be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. Of course, the punctuation may vary. Exclamation marks and question marks can end a dialogue regardless of the tag accompanying it, as long as if it's a dialogue tag, the dialogue never ends in a period, and for an action tag, it never ends in a comma.

Example of dialogue + dialogue tag: "'I'm okay,' she said." OR "She said, 'I'm okay.'"

Example of dialogue + action tag: "'I'm okay.' She forced a smile." OR "She forced a smile. 'I'm okay.'"

You had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

I noticed the amount of comma splices used as well. A comma splice is joining two different independent clauses together, and separating them with a comma, but not a conjunction. An example of this is: "I went to work, I drove in my car." These are two different independent clauses, "I went to work" and "I drove in my car." They both have predicates and subjects, and are separated with a comma. However, you must separate them with a conjunction as well. Without a conjunction, this turns into a comma splice. You have two options in this case. You can either replace the comma with a period and turn it into two different sentences, or add in a conjunction. In this case, the correction can be, "I went to work, and I drove in my car," or "I went to work. I drove in my car."

You also need to have spaces in certain places. Whether they be after a comma or after a period, a space is necessary.

You often slipped up in your tense. Whether your story is set in past or present tense, you need to pick one and stay in it. If you're in past tense, you should use words such as "didn't" and "wanted." If you're writing in present tense, you should use, "don't" and "want." I've shown a few examples where you slipped up your tense below, so keep this rule in mind for future writing.

I noticed that you had unnecessary capitalization, or you were missing capitalization in certain places. The beginning of a new sentence, a certain person, place, or thing, must always be capitalized. The next time you capitalize (or don't capitalize), keep this rule in mind.

You struggled with conjugating certain verbs in your sentences. I've pointed out several examples for you in your chapter reviews, but I highly suggest researching this topic more thoroughly on your own.

I found several instances where you had misspellings or typos. I've pointed out some examples wherever I could find them, although there are probably more I haven't noticed. I suggest thoroughly combing your work for these when writing or editing in the future. Additionally, you had a lot of repetition with your diction use, particularly the word "monotonous." I've pointed this out several times in your chapter reviews as well. You incorporated fabulous vocabulary that further enhanced your writing style and added to the humor, but I suggest removing any repetitions and using similes of a word instead.

Your plot is interesting and borders on morbidly dark. This is about a girl, Raavi, who teams up with a boy to commit suicide. Despite the contents of this story, the first five chapters I've read felt very light-hearted in terms of your writing style and character's voice. Also, very dramatic, which added to the humor and personality packed in your writing. Your plotline isn't very clear, however. It was hard to understand some parts of your writing because of the way you structured some sentences. I've pointed out some examples in your writing voice, but I suggest shortening your sentences and restructuring them to be clear and concise. This helps your readers avoid any confusion and sharpens the conflict and obstacles.

As I've mentioned earlier, your character's voice is very dramatic. This adds to her personality, and I got a good grasp of her mindset and dry humor. This made your story come to life in a way that your plot might've failed at. All of your characters' physical descriptions were short and to the point, and further helped describe their personalities, not just physical appearances. It was easy to understand who was who, and it was entertaining to read about each character. Your protagonist is a slight contradiction of herself, which I thought was hilarious as well. You've clearly mastered this area, as I found no problems with how you introduce your characters. There were no repetitions with your characters and the way they spoke too, which is a difficult thing to achieve.

Again, your sentences are on the longer side. I have several examples listed in your chapter reviews, but longer sentences muddle up the clarity for your audience, so shortening them makes it easier for your readers to understand. You also had slight repetition with some phrases and diction choices, which, again, I've pointed out for you. The main thing going for you in this area is the personality packed in your writing style, which makes it unique to only you. Your grammatical and spelling errors take away from the quality of your writing style, so I highly suggest tackling those first, and your writing style will automatically increase in terms of quality. You also included a lot of similes/metaphors in your writing, which I appreciated. I suggest including more writing techniques, such as sensory detail or figurative language. I found that you didn't describe the five senses much, which made your story seem two-dimensional. By including these details, it enhances the reading experience for your audience.

For the most part, your story flow was very smooth and uninterrupted. Your story pacing was overall very smooth, although the repetitions used made the pacing drag in some parts. You also used long sentences, which made your story pacing feel blurry as well. By disconnecting sentences, you have a sharper, more distinct narration and a smooth story pacing.

"I would very much like to be played except I am not." (p.4). You require a comma here. The "except" serves as a conjunction, and commas typically precede conjunctions. Correction: "I would very much like to be played, except I am not."

"I hoist myself out of the bed, sometimes I just can't do it." (p.5). You have a comma splice here. As a reminder, a comma splice is joining two or more clauses with a comma, but without a conjunction. To correct this, you can either add a conjunction or replace the comma with a period. I typically suggest the latter, as shorter sentences make for clearer readability. You also have an unnecessary definite article in front of "bed." Correction: "I hoist myself out of bed. Sometimes, I just can't do it." Notice the comma I've added as well.

"Of course, I only ever had to let my mother clean it but I can't." (p.7). You need a comma here. Notice how commas normally come prior to conjunctions. You also have a tense slip-up here. Make sure to stay consistent with your present tense. Correction: "Of course, I only ever have to let my mother clean it, but I can't."

"Where is papa?" (p.10). Here, "papa" needs to be capitalized as you would a name, as she is referring to a specific person. If there was a possessive adjective in front of "papa," such as "my/your/her/his/their," then it wouldn't need capitalization. In this case, there is no possessive adjective in front, so capitalization upon the word is required. "Where is Papa?"

"... gives me one of her half mocking, half we-share-a-secret smile,'To the library, I hope all those yellow dried pages are inflammable and he perchance lights one of those despicable cigarettes.'" (p.11). You need a hyphen here. The action tag should also be separated from the dialogue, and you need a space after punctuation. You additionally have a comma splice. Correction: "... gives me one of her half-mocking, half we-share-a-secret smiles. 'To the library. I hope all those yellow dried pages are inflammable and he perchance lights one of those despicable cigarettes.'"

"I hate him because he has turned me into a cliche character with an unrequited tragedy." (p.15). You need an accent on the e of "cliche." Correction: "I hate him because he has turned me into a cliché character with an unrequited tragedy."

"I run along the ghosted streets, paper streets I think to myself." (p.16). You're missing a comma here. I also suggest italicizing "paper streets" as it's a thought. Additionally, you have a comma splice. Correction: "I run along the ghosted streets. Paper streets, I think to myself."

"I go up the stairs, on the stage through the door behind it leading to the hallway." (p.17). You're missing several commas here. I also suggest "go" with "run" or some kind of stronger action verb. Correction/suggestion: "I [run/sprint] up the stairs, on the stage, through the door behind it, leading to the hallway."

"I was betting on you coming early, to be honest.I have something to tell you...' he trails away suggestively." (p.22). You need a space after punctuation. The action tag is also a separate sentence from the dialogue tag. That means the beginning of the action tag should be capitalized upon, as it's the beginning of a new sentence. Correction: "I was betting on you coming early, to be honest. I have something to tell you...' He trails away suggestively."

"'I want someone as heartless as you.' He says in an aggravating voice." (p.27). The dialogue tag should be included within the dialogue sentence. The punctuation/capitalization regarding the dialogue should reflect this, meaning the period should be replaced with a comma, and the beginning of the dialogue tag should not be capitalized upon, as it's not the beginning of a new sentence. Correction: "'I want someone as heartless as you,' he says in an aggravating voice."

"I feign indifference, 'I can see how that might be useful for the world but an elaboration would be helpful.'" (p.30). The action tag should be separate from the dialogue, and the punctuation should reflect this. You also need a comma preceding the conjunction. Correction: "I feign indifference. 'I can see how that might be useful for the world, but an elaboration would be helpful.'" Additionally, as Raavi is responding to Saransh's statement, this dialogue should be the start of a new paragraph.

"Don't even act like you haven't attempted suicide a dozen times before,your mother told my mother all about it. I know you want to and I hello do so why not we help each other and get some actual results." (p.31). You need spaces after punctuation. You also need commas. This is phrased as a question, so I suggest ending it as one. Correction: "Don't even act like you haven't attempted suicide a dozen times before, your mother told my mother all about it. I know you want to, and I hello do, so why don't we help each other and get some actual results?"

"I had decided to free myself of this monotonous pain of living, long ago so why not do it in style." (p.36). You have a misplaced comma here, and as this is phrased as a question, I suggest ending it as one. Correction: "I had decided to free myself of this monotonous pain of living long ago, so why not do it in style?"

"She has what I call Internalized gossiping syndrome." (p.6). You need capitalization here. Correction: "She has what I call Internalized Gossiping Syndrome."

"As soon as I reach home from 6 hours of monotonous school, I get the dreadful feeling I always do when father has his episodes." (p.9). I suggest writing out numbers at least from one to ten to remain professional and avoid breaking the flow of the story. Additionally, "father" should be capitalized as Raavi's referring to a specific person, and there is no possessive adjective in front of "father." Correction: "As soon as I reach home from six hours of monotonous school, I get the dreadful feeling I always do when Father has his episodes." You also have a repetition of "monotonous" as it's repeatedly used throughout the past two chapters.