Adrian Gonzalez knows the painful truth about liking someone you have no chance with---they never like you back and you're left heartbroken. Ever wonder why it's called a 'crush?'

But when the hopeless crush he has is on Parker Thompson---nonbinary school heartthrob with an impeccable fashion sense---he can't help but wish things would turn out differently. He knows that staring at Parker from two seats behind in Biology is fine, and he knows that praying he doesn't get a boner when Parker jogs ahead of him in gym class is less fine---but neither are as satisfying as he wishes they were.

A class group chat is all it takes to intertwine Adrian's and Parker's lives. And one impulsive, stupid, never-wish-I-typed-it reply is the turning point for Adrian's love story.

Especially when Parker ends up in his DMs with that text as his starting point.

The cover is clever and accurately represents your story. The only problem I have with it is that it feels cluttered. There is a lot of writing going on, and it took a moment for me to find the title there. If you're using this theme for your cover, I suggest minimizing the amount of words used, and highlighting/focusing more on the title to seem more clean and professional.

For the most part, I can understand the connection between the title and your story. It represents the theme of your story and is unique to your story and characters. One thing I'd like to point out is "Sincerely" is typically used in letters, and this is more of a texting story. I'd love to know your reasoning behind this!

Your blurb is on the longer side, so it took me a while to pull everything apart and analyze the information provided. If this is your synopsis, I suggest including it inside your story, and only providing a bit in your blurb, as that's what a blurb is supposed to be—a sneak-peek at your story.

I loved the beginning of your story! It was packed with personality, and I got a good grasp of your protagonist's mindset! You also presented your writing capabilities, and there were no grammatical errors that could be found at first glance. One thing I noticed is you tend to have long sentences. I suggest shortening them or separating them into different sentences to enhance clear readability for your audience.

You had some comma mistakes in your writing. Commas are used to separate different clauses. There are two types of clauses: Independent and dependent. They both have subjects (who/what is doing the action), and a predicate (the action being done). The difference between the two is that an independent clause can stand alone as its own sentence, while a dependent clause depends on another clause to make sense. If over one clause is joined together, they should be separated with a comma. For example, this sentence, "I cried, then Billy ran away," there are two different independent clauses. One is "I cried," and the other is "Billy ran away." You'll notice that they're separated with a conjunction and a comma. You often misuse commas in this sense or forget to add them. Commas can also be used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," and you'll notice that it has a subject "I" and a predicate "went." The word "today" is excluded, and needs to be separated with a comma. The correction is: "Today, I went to work."

I noticed the amount of comma splices used as well. A comma splice is joining two different independent clauses together, and separating them with a comma, but not a conjunction. An example of this is: "I went to work, I drove in my car." These are two different independent clauses, "I went to work" and "I drove in my car." They both have predicates and subjects, and are separated with a comma. However, you must separate them with a conjunction as well. Without a conjunction, this turns into a comma splice. You have two options in this case. You can either replace the comma with a period and turn it into two different sentences, or add in a conjunction. In this case, the correction can be, "I went to work, and I drove in my car," or "I went to work. I drove in my car."You often slipped up in your tense. Whether your story is set in past or present tense, you need to pick one and stay in it. If you're in past tense, you should use words such as "didn't" and "wanted." If you're writing in present tense, you should use "don't" and "want." I've shown a few examples where you slipped up your tense below, so keep this rule in mind for future writing.

Right off the bat, I noticed several misspellings throughout the first chapter. I've mentioned all that I've noticed in your chapter review, but most were silly typos or missing spaces. I suggest thoroughly editing your work in the future to avoid this.

I appreciate the direction you have with this story! It's fun, lighthearted, and is packed with a lot of personality. I was engaged throughout the entire first chapter, and there was nothing out of place with your plot. The pacing was consistent, and I was able to tell your characters apart. Really well done!

I've probably mentioned this several times before, but you brought a lot of personality into your characters! This made your story come to life and complimented the direction of your plot well. The mindset of Adrián, especially in the first few paragraphs, was realistic and easy to relate to. This is useful because it engages the audience (as I've noticed from the comments you've received as well!). You've also included a realistic and common conflict for your protagonist. While it may be common, you've written it to be interesting, engaging, and fun to read about!

From the first few paragraphs, I was immediately and thoroughly engaged with this story. This doesn't happen that often (to this extent), but I found myself laughing several times from your writing style and certain points made throughout the chapter. You had great timing with your humor and when you were describing certain scenes. One thing I'd like to point out is that your grammatical errors diminish the quality of your writing voice, so I suggest tackling those first. The cleaner your writing is, the better the quality is. You also tend to have sentences on the longer side, so whenever you can, try to break those up and lessen the weight of your sentences and unnecessary filler words.

I appreciated that the pacing of the story was smooth and consistent. I've only read the first chapter, but there were no awkward or noticeable transitions from one scene to the next. Really, there isn't much to say in this area. One piece of advice is when transitioning, experiment with different styles! Some authors transition moment by moment, and others transition with longer time skips (like a day, or even several days/months). Try to be conscious of that and incorporate a variety of transitions to always change things up! That way, you can keep your readers on their toes.

In paragraph 4, "lost my" should be two words.

In paragraph 5, you've misspelled "around" as "aroubd."

In paragraph 6, you have another typing error with "emotional" spelled as "emotionall."

In paragraph 7, I suggest replacing "aggravated" with "aggravating."

In paragraph 14, I suggest replacing "Like always" with "As always." This is optional.

"I should have been gathering the chips that still lay in wait on my bed, instead, I watched the bubbles jump up and down in a subtle dance." (p.52). You have a comma splice here. A comma splice is joining two clauses together with a comma, but without a conjunction. To correct this, you can either add a conjunction or replace the comma with a period. I normally suggest the latter, as shorter sentences make for clearer readability, anyway. Correction: "I should have been gathering the chips that still lay in wait on my bed. Instead, I watched the bubbles jump up and down in a subtle dance."

"I should have been more concerned with the little creatures I was inviting in bed if I didn't get the crumbs off, I should have cared more about my hair swallowing a good number of chip pieces." (p.63). You have a comma splice here. Again, I suggest splitting this into two separate sentences. Most of your sentences also tend to be on the longer side, so it's always nice to shorten them or break them down when you can. Correction: "I should have been more concerned with the little creatures I was inviting to bed if I didn't get the crumbs off. I should have cared more about my hair swallowing a good number of chip pieces."

In paragraph 64, "muting it" is two words, not one.

"My heart no longer seized, it was doing freaking backflips, and I can't even do a cartwheel." (p.66). You have another comma splice. Correction: "My heart no longer seized. It was doing freaking backflips, and I can't even do a cartwheel."

"Why was his username displayed in big bold texts I couldn't look away from." (p.68). As this is phrased as a question, I suggest you end it as one as well. This applies to your next sentence as well. Correction: "Why was his username displayed in big bold texts I couldn't look away from?"

"I especially didn't want to dwell on the fact that my first posts were from three years ago, and that the only way he would know that I have never posted my face, is if he scrolled through a dump of 64 posts." (p.76). You have an unnecessary comma here. You also have a tense slip-up. Make sure to stay consistent within past tense when writing. Correction: "I especially didn't want to dwell on the fact that my first posts were from three years ago, and that the only way he would know that I have never posted my face was if he scrolled through a dump of 64 posts." Additionally, this is a pretty long sentence, so you could also shorten it by saying, "I especially didn't want to dwell on the fact that my first posts were from three years ago. The only way he would've known that I have never posted my face was if he scrolled through a dump of 64 posts." This is optional.

"In the most effortless way, Parker blurted out how he would feel if he was judged for coming out, how he didn't give a fuck what anyone would say about him as long as he felt comfortable with himself." (p.84). You could split this into two separate sentences. Suggestion/Correction: "In the most effortless way, Parker blurted out how he would feel if he was judged for coming out. How he didn't give a fuck what anyone would say about him as long as he felt comfortable with himself."

"Neither could queer students who come out also, following Parker's lead." (p.85). This is poorly worded. I suggest rewording this to also avoid the tense slip-ups. Correction/Suggestion: "Neither could queer students who also came out, following Parker's lead."

It was such a pleasure reading through and reviewing this story! I was instantly engaged with this first chapter, and I loved the wit/humor/personality incorporated in your writing! You had a few grammatical mistakes, such as with comma splices, tense slip-ups, and also spelling errors. In the future, I suggest looking out for those when writing or editing (especially the typos).