"Did you also feel that everything is simply against you?"

"Countless times. But one day, a high school professor took me aside and used Henry Ford's quote. He once said that if everything is against you, remember the plane takes off against the wind, not with it."

***

Louise Alex Houghton has been always quietly accepting the life path which was created by her parents, ignoring who she really was. She lived in a golden cage of luxury and money, trapped between lions of Wall Street, secretly dreaming of being free.

David Skawinski has always known that his soul belonged to the skies, and he stubbornly made his dreams come true. As he is walking down the terminal in his stylish pilot's uniform, getting attention of various travelers, he knows something is missing in his life.

This is the tale of two young people from two different worlds who accidentally met on the plane. She is a mysterious woman for him with a passion for aviation and he is a living example for her, proving there is always a choice for a better life.

She knows what is going to happen soon in her life, but only one touch of his hand can set her body on fire, completely blurring her mind from a promise she was forced to make years ago. A promise which is one of her greatest secrets she desperately keeps in order to save her and mostly, David.

I can see the relevance your cover has to your story. It represents your story and genre. I noticed that the title seems to be the main point of the title, so I suggest working on the placement and creativity, as well as matching the font to the genre. You can also keep it as it is, or visit a cover shop featured in my reading list.

I enjoy the fact that your title seems to hold a symbolic meaning. I can only assume that it accurately represents your story, as I didn't get much that explained the title from the chapters I read. The title is eye-catching and unique. Just make sure that it fully portrays your story and genre, and I always suggest being open to other title options.

Your blurb is on the longer side, and you have several grammar mistakes. You have tense slip-ups. Keep in mind that whatever tense you choose to write with, you should stay consistent with it. There is some repetition with filler words and phrases, and you could tighten/shorten your sentences to shorten your blurb overall. Keep in mind that readers will typically only read the first few lines before deciding whether to read the story or not, and they are not obligated to finish reading the blurb.

This was a nice start to your story. It was nice, but it wasn't great. I appreciated that there were no grammar mistakes at first glance. However, you could expand on your description. You could use figurative language or sensory detail to describe how your character woke up. You wrote that your protagonist struggled to wake up, so you could describe the feeling of sleepiness. This also will show your readers your writing capabilities and help them ease into the story.

You struggled with your punctuation and capitalization with dialogues. If your dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (he said, she yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. For example, it doesn't make sense for the clause, "She said," to be a sentence by itself. Therefore, it's part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence isn't complete, and the start of a dialogue tag is not capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. The opposite goes for action tags. If your dialogue is accompanied by an action tag (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action), the action should not be part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue doesn't help the action tag make sense; the action tag should be a sentence by itself. Therefore, the dialogue should end in a period to signify the end of the sentence, and the start of the action tag should always be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. Of course, the punctuation may vary. Exclamation marks and question marks can end a dialogue regardless of the tag accompanying it, as long as if it's a dialogue tag, the dialogue never ends in a period, and for an action tag, it never ends in a comma.

Example of dialogue + dialogue tag: "'I'm okay,' she said." OR "She said, 'I'm okay.'"

Example of dialogue + action tag: "'I'm okay.' She forced a smile." OR "She forced a smile. 'I'm okay.'"

You had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

There were several instances where I found misspellings and typos within your story. I've pointed them out for you, but in the future, I suggest thoroughly proof-reading and editing before uploading a chapter. Especially when you're going to have your story reviewed by someone, so no time will be wasted and your reviewer won't have to point out mistakes you already know about. You didn't have a big problem with this, but there were enough misspellings for me to notice. You also tend to misuse or mis-write common phrases and include unnecessary (or leave out) filler words.

I was impressed by the concept of your story. Your story is going in the right direction, and it looks like you did the appropriate research to make this story plausible and accurate. I was able to easily follow the story, and I enjoyed the way you narrated each event. There were some places where your sentences or transitions were poorly structured, and it felt like you were rushing your plot a bit—but I'll address that more later.

I loved how you gave life to your characters. Each character had their own mindset and voice unique from others, and it felt like they were all different people, not coming from just one writing voice. You were rather short on descriptions, however. Describing a character doesn't just have to do with physical appearance. It can be the way someone smiles, how eyes crinkle in happiness, nervous habits, and hobbies. I found that you were lacking this in your writing, and whenever you presented a new character, you did so in a way as though to get the introduction out of the way and to continue on with the story. If you can incorporate the description with the story, your transitions will be much smoother and less obvious.

You have a clean, simple, and clear writing voice. This makes it very easy to follow your story, which is a wonderful quality to have with your story! I noticed, however, that with your storytelling, you tend to tell, not show. You would write that a character is annoyed or sad, rather than describing it. You shouldn't have to outright tell your readers that your characters were happy, sad, angry, or nervous. This can be done through describing facial expressions, body language, and you could take the opportunity to include similes/metaphors and sensory detail to enhance the reading experience for your audience. There is so much room for artistic touches. That way, you can make your voice distinctly your own, and your readers will stay for your voice as well as your story.

As I've mentioned earlier, you tend to have awkward transitions. They're very obvious, and I've pointed out a few examples in your chapter reviews. If you can find a way to incorporate your transitions to go with your story instead of against it, it will work more nicely with your writing. Try to find connections with two scenes and find how to seamlessly blend the two together. You can also review your favorite authors and see what techniques they use to do this.

"A refreshing shower with the strong coffee in the hotel restaurant woke me up. It boosted me with enough energy to get to the airport." (p.8). This was an awkward paragraph that transitioned into the next scene. As a reader, it felt that you simply included this for the sake of including it or linking it with one scene to another. This is an example of you telling, not showing. If you choose to describe this, I suggest that you expand on this. The readers can learn about your protagonist's daily routine, or whatever mindset is included. However, make sure not to over-explain, as it might not be necessary to the plot.

"'Oh, here are our seats.' The blonde woman breathed out and pointed at the two empty seats next to me." (p.15). You have confusion here with the capitalization and punctuation regarding your dialogue. Because the dialogue tag is accompanying the dialogue (it describes how the woman says the dialogue), it is a part of the sentence. However, by ending the dialogue with a period and capitalizing the beginning of the dialogue tag, you're indicating that these are two separate sentences, which shouldn't be the case. Correction: "'Oh, here are our seats,' the blonde woman breathed out and pointed at the two empty seats next to me."

"She sat down in the seat and let her colleague, the captain according to his four stripes on his coat, put their baggage in the overhead bins." (p.15). You have misplaced commas here, and I suggest replacing some filler words. Correction: "She sat down in the seat and let her colleague, the captain, according to the four stripes on his coat, put their baggage in the overhead bins."

"'Yes, but we almost didn't make it either.' His deep but annoyed voice murmured." (p.17). Again, you have confusion with the capitalization and punctuation regarding your dialogue. The punctuation/capitalization should reflect that this is just one sentence. The second half of the sentence is also awkwardly phrased. You shouldn't describe a body part doing or saying something, but directly phrase it to have more of an impact on your audience. Correction/Suggestion: "'Yes, but we almost didn't make it, either,' he murmured, his voice deep, but annoyed." Notice the commas I added as well.

In paragraph 17, you have a misspelling with the word "spilt." Additionally, again, you have confusion with the capitalization/punctuation regarding your dialogue.

"Seriously, could I come with so stupid title?" (p.32). You're missing necessary filler words in this sentence. Correction: "Seriously, could I come up with a more stupid title?" (At least, I'm assuming that's what you're trying to say).

"'... next to the tug truck as well.' My older brother, Bradley, mocked me as he didn't lift his eyes from the Los Angeles Times." (p.6). You have the incorrect punctuation/capitalization regarding your dialogue, and this is awkwardly phrased. Correction/Suggestion: "'... next to the tug truck as well,' my older brother, Bradley, mocked me without lifting his eyes from the Los Angeles Times." Notice how I got rid of filler words and tightened the sentence to make it flow more smoothly.

"Shame, Bradley took his words seriously and forgot to be a polite big loving brother." (p.11). You're missing commas here, as you're listing items. Correction: "Shame, Bradley took his words seriously and forgot to be a polite, big, loving brother."

"The gate agents let us - the first-class passengers - to board first." (p.13). The filler word "to" is unnecessary here. Correction: "The gate agents let us - the first-class passengers - board first."

"I couldn't compete with her with my slim boyish and tall figure with almost nonexistent chest." (p.15). Again, whenever you're listing 'items' on a list, each item should be followed by a comma. Correction: "I couldn't compete with her with my slim, boyish, and tall figure with an almost nonexistent chest." Notice the indefinite article I added as well.

"... me at the age of fresh twenty-one and the little Dean." (p.18). You're missing commas here, and I suggest doing a little restructuring for this to make sense. Correction: "... me, at the fresh age of twenty-one, and the little Dean."

"Tears burnt in my eyes..." (p.22). Here, the word "burnt" should really be "burned." "Burnt" is used as an adjective, such as the "burnt clothing" or "burnt marshmallow." As a verb, it shouldn't be spelled that way. Correction: "Tears burned in my eyes..."

"... ignore the silly words and be proud of my no ordinary self." (p.46). Here, "no" should be "non," because the next word after it begins with a vowel. Correction: "... ignore the silly words and be proud of my non-ordinary self." Notice the hyphen that I included as well.

"'Okay, say Boeing!' The young pilot told and took a photo of us." (p.54). Instead of "told," I suggest using "said," as it is less awkward and fits the context better. Additionally, the beginning of the dialogue tag shouldn't be capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. Correction: "'Okay, say Boeing!' the young pilot said, and took a photo of us." Notice the comma I added as well.

"'Spoke for yourself, I am going to be fishing in Wisconsin for a week.' The flight engineer, named John as his name tag was saying, interrupted the commander." The saying is, "Speak for yourself," not "spoke for yourself." You also need correct punctuation/and capitalization regarding your dialogue, and you have unnecessary filler words that can be removed. You shouldn't say that "his name tag was saying," because his name tag wasn't really saying. Correction: "'Speak for yourself, I am going to be fishing in Wisconsin for a week,' the flight engineer, named John, as his name tag indicated, interrupted the commander." Notice the comma I added as well.

"The wealthy people, decorum, parading around holding Leeroy's arm and laughing at embarrassing jokes was something that even alcohol couldn't treat." (p.1). You're missing commas here. When listing 'items' in a list, each 'item' should have a comma following it; particularly the second-to-last comma (known as the Oxford Comma). Correction: "The wealthy people, decorum, parading around holding Leeroy's arm, and laughing at embarrassing jokes was something that even alcohol couldn't treat."

"We acted as strangers, even if we knew from childhood." (p.3). You're missing a filler word here. Correction: "We acted as strangers, even if we knew each other from childhood."

"Parents forbad me to reside in a dormitory and I had a little apartment at Union Street." (p.4). You have a misspelling here. Additionally, you should have "my" in front of parents to specify. The latter mistake is frequent and repetitive, so make sure to correct that throughout your writing. Correction: "My parents forbade me to reside in a dormitory and I had a little apartment at Union Street."

"I would be able to discover some flight schools once I would be away from home, however the absence of extra time wouldn't permit me to fly." (p.9). You're missing commas here. Additionally, instead of making this one long sentence, I suggest breaking it off into several sentences. Shorter sentences have clearer readability. Correction: "I would be able to discover some flight schools once I would be away from home, however, the absence of extra time wouldn't permit me to fly." Suggestion: "I would be able to discover some flight schools once I would be away from home. However, the absence of extra time wouldn't permit me to fly."

"I looked at the man whose voice sounded familiar and almost swooned." (p.12). You need a comma. Without one, it sounds like the voice was swooning, not here. Additionally, this is awkwardly phrased. You could tighten/shorten this sentence. Suggestion: "I turned at the familiar voice and almost swooned."

"A smile already appeared on his lips, which were not thin nor thick." (p.13). You need a comma here. Correction: "A smile already appeared on his lips, which were not thin, nor thick." Additionally, I found this sentence to be very random within the context at which it was presented. If you're going to elaborate on his lips to show how enamored she was with him, you could have descriptive language to make it sound less detached and clinical.

"'I guess, I must run now.' I faked a hurry and checked the wristwatch." (p.22). You have an unnecessary comma, and I suggest replacing 'the' with 'my.' Correction: "'I guess I must run now.' I faked a hurry and checked my wristwatch." Also, what do you mean by "I faked a hurry"? The word "hurry" is a verb and incorrectly used in this context.