New town, new apartment, new job, new friends. Kadence was finally ready to start a new, peaceful life after the tragic accident that happened two years ago.

Just when Kadence thought that everything was going perfect with her life and nothing could go wrong now, she meets a young actor, Logan Barnes, who also happens to be her best friend from high school. That's when it all starts again. The past Kady had been trying to run from for the last two years had finally caught up with her.

Similar events are taking place as it did two years ago. And Logan might be the only one capable to free Kady from the clutches of her past and save her.

I noticed that the genre of this story is romance, but I didn't get that feeling when looking at your cover. It looks more like a mystery/thriller genre, and if that represents your story more, I suggest changing the genre to mystery/thriller and making the romance part a subplot. The title could be more creatively placed, and the font should represent your story and genre. The font of your title didn't hint at your story in any way, and the color was distracting as well. I'd recommend avoiding bright, neon colors on titles, and you can find other cover designers (if you wish to) in my reading list to request from.

This title is very neutral. It could point to a lot of different things in many genres. It could represent hundreds of things and different types of conflicts from any genre. I didn't get the sense of your story or the genre from the title, and the title itself is very vague and neutral. Unless the word itself has an extremely symbolic meaning to the story (such as things shattering all the time, alluding to a more overarching moral of the story), I highly recommend against it. If you search up the title for the story, you'll find hundreds of books with the same title from varying genres, and variations of the same title. You want your title to be memorable and unique, and I did not get that from your title. You can always keep it (as it's your decision) but I also suggest being open-minded on different titles that can better represent your story—and your story only, not a billion others.

For the most part, your blurb was clean of grammatical errors. There were some awkward spaces here and there, and you could tighten/shorten some sentences. For example, I'd avoid using "Kadence" more than once if the blurb is only about her. Your potential readers understand that if you replace her name with "she/her," it's still her. There won't be any confusion about who it'd be. In the second paragraph, I suggest replacing "Kadence" with "she." Additionally, you have tense slip-ups. You were writing in past tense, and in the middle of the second paragraph, you switched to present tense. Keep in mind that your tense should be consistent throughout your whole blurb. In the last sentence, I suggest altering it to say, "And Logan might be the only one capable of freeing Kady from the clutches of her past and saving her." I also noticed that your blurb itself was very vague and revealed little information in contrast to its length. It was mostly about Kady running away from her past, and someone from her past that could save her. If that's it, then I suggest shortening your blurb to only that, instead of dragging it out and having repetition. If there's more to the triggering action and conflict at hand, make sure to include that as well.

I did not spot any grammatical errors at first glance, which I'm appreciative of. However, I also did not get a sense of your writing style as an author, or your writing capabilities to hook me in. This was a weak start, and I suggest strengthening your hook with figurative language or sensory details. If you want your audience to be concerned for the protagonist right from the start of the story, you need to show her emotions. The reader should be able to imagine the scene itself; the setting, the protagonist, and of those around her. I got none of those, which means you did not show the scene, but rather told the audience. For example, instead of saying, "Why the hell am I so nervous, then?" (and notice the comma I added), show that she is nervous. You shouldn't have to outright say it, because that'll ruin the tension and build-up. You could describe body language and emotions, and make metaphors/similes to show your audience that Kady is nervous.

You often slipped up in your tense. Whether your story is set in past or present tense, you need to pick one and stay in it. If you're in past tense, you should use words such as "didn't" and "wanted." If you're writing in present tense, you should use, "don't" and "want." I've shown a few examples where you slipped up your tense below, so keep this rule in mind for future writing.

You had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

You had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

You had unnecessary capitalization as well. Titles should always be capitalized unless there is a possessive pronoun in front of them. For example, "Mom" is capitalized when used alone. However, when you say, "my mom," it doesn't have to be capitalized. You were confused with this rule throughout your writing, and you also capitalized unnecessary words, which I've pointed down below.

I did spot several areas where you had misspellings/typos. I suggest thoroughly editing your chapters before publishing them online. Additionally, you tend to use weak verbs, especially when transitioning. For example, you'd say something like, "he goes out of the room." It has a weak impact on the audience. I suggest finding more interesting synonyms/diction to use in your writing, and if you see that you're using weak verbs, focus on replacing them with a different vocabulary.

I didn't learn much of your plot. It's going in the right direction, but you're lacking in many things. I didn't sense world-building for your protagonist. You often forgot to set the setting for the scene. I didn't even get to learn what time of the year it was. Perhaps it could be winter, referencing the general or current mood of the story. Describing little things like these can help set the atmosphere for your audience. You have a habit of telling, instead of showing, and you don't have many descriptions to hook in your readers. I suggest extending emotional scenes. For example, go more into depth about Kady's nightmares. Instead of repetitively describing Logan's longing to see Kady and sadness of leaving her, show that through his actions and body language.

As I've mentioned earlier, you often tell, not show. You wrote that a character was sad, rather than showing it. Because of this, I couldn't get into the mindset of your characters. I suggest strengthening your characters' backgrounds/voices. You tend to make each character sound the same, and I had to gather context around the character or scroll to the top to see whose POV it was. Establish differences with each character. Try to make them memorable with physical flaws (such as scars with unique stories, something describing only one person), and establish habits with your protagonists. This can be that they fidget when they're nervous, or they drum their nails on a surface when impatient. This helps your readers relate to and connect with your characters.

I couldn't get a unique sense of your writing. First off, I suggest spending time cleaning up your grammatical errors. This will automatically improve your writing voice. I see potential for potential here. You didn't go into depth with your descriptions, and some of your paragraphs (especially the dialogues) were only a few words. How can you establish sentence structures that suit your liking, transition in unique ways, and use sensory detail/figurative language to draw in the readers? Using these techniques can make your writing voice memorable for your readers, and not only will they stay for the plot or the characters but also your writing style.

I've mentioned this several times already, but you have a habit of awkwardly transitioning. You'd set up the setting by having a character leave a scene with a weak verb, or not even set up the setting at all, and leave your readers to go through the context to find out for themselves. You use the same style and structure in transitioning, and over time, it will become increasingly repetitive. I suggest taking a look at your favorite books and authors. How do the authors transition from one scene to another? How smooth are these transitions, and how can you find a style that you can apply to your story? What about the story pacing? If you look at your writing, you could extend some scenes and go more into depth with your descriptions. It isn't so much the pacing as it is the depth. You sometimes appropriately extend a scene, but you use weak descriptions that have no impact on the audience. I suggest strengthening these descriptions and avoiding the repetition. That way, your story pacing will stay consistent.

"Damn it Kady!" (p.3). You need a comma here, as these are two different phrases joined together. Correction: "Damn it, Kady!"

In paragraph 6, you have repetition of italicizing the word "they" over and over again. It's okay to do it once or twice, but after that, your readers will get the gist of it. It becomes awkward when you do it more than that.

In paragraph 7, your protagonist is talking to herself and referring to herself as "you." Then, halfway through the paragraph, she suddenly switches, so she is referring to herself as "I" and using "my" instead of "your." Stay consistent. If your character is talking to herself, it makes sense to use "you" and "your."

"I know I should be happy and excited to get out of here but all I feel is scared." (p.9). The word "scared" is an adjective and is not appropriately used in this sentence. In this case, it makes more sense to replace it with the emotion itself. Additionally, you're missing a comma. Correction: "I know I should be happy and excited to get out of here, but all I feel is fear." Notice how oftentimes, the comma will come before the conjunction.

"Frightened to go out into the world I wasn't yet ready to face." (p.18). You have a tense slip-up here. You should stay consistent with present tense. Correction: "Frightened to go out into the world I'm not yet ready to face."

"... my younger sister says, as we sit there on the dirty ground." (p.24). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "... my younger sister says as we sit there on the dirty ground."

"It was too much for me." (p.25). You have a tense slip-up here.

In paragraph 25, you're telling, not showing. Rather than simply stating that it felt good to be with her family, explain Kady's emotions. This can be done through body language or facial expressions. You shouldn't have to say that it feels good.

In paragraph 2, you're stringing a lot of clauses together and using ellipsis'. While it's okay to use specific techniques for emotions and flashbacks, this particular one is getting quickly repetitive. If you want the memory to be fast and blurry and chaotic, then string them with commas instead, and don't reuse the same structure for each sentence. Additionally, note that an ellipsis should be three dots with a space afterward, before the next word.

"I take a deep breath and start getting ready for the day. Afterwards, I lock the door of my apartment and head towards the elevator." (p.8&9). This is an awkward transition from one scene to another. I suggest taking the time to describe your protagonist's overall mood as she gets ready. Maybe her mind is numb as she pulls on her clothes, or she's lost in her thoughts as she eats breakfast. Don't overdo it, but transitioning like this isn't the best way either.

"'Hi, Kady,' Daniel, my neighbor, comes out of his apartment just as I was crossing his door." (p.10). You have a tense slip-up here. You also confused your tag with your dialogue. Since this is an action tag accompanying the dialogue tag, it is a separate sentence from the dialogue. The comma in the dialogue should be replaced with a period to reflect that the sentence ends, and another begins. Correction: "'Hi, Kady.' Daniel, my neighbor, comes out of his apartment just as I'm crossing his door."

In paragraph 12, you have a typo. "Dosnn't" should be "doesn't." Make sure to thoroughly edit/proof-read your chapters before publishing online. That way, you can find and correct simple mistakes such as this one.

"'Everything will be okay,' I give his hand a reassuring squeeze." (p.14). Again, the comma in the dialogue should be replaced with a period. The action tag is a separate sentence from the dialogue, while a dialogue tag is part of the sentence. You can tell that in this one, it is an action tag because a dialogue tag describes the way someone speaks, but an action tag is exactly what it sounds like—an action. Correction: "'Everything will be okay.' I give his hand a reassuring squeeze."

You have a tense slip-up in paragraph 16.

"'... you don't have to worry about riding me to work from the next week.' I say as Skylar starts the car." (p.18). This entire sentence is awkward. I suggest replacing "riding" with "driving," and you have excess filler words. This should be just one sentence as well, considering that the dialogue tag is part of the dialogue sentence. Correction: "'... you don't have to worry about driving me to work from next week,' I say as Skylar starts the car."

"William, Mia's husband is on a business trip out of town and now Mia is alone with her two year old son, James." (p.29). You're missing some commas here, as well as hyphens. Correction: "William, Mia's husband, is on a business trip out of town, and now Mia is alone with her two-year-old son, James."

"I thought that it was a dream or something." (p.2). You need a comma here, and you have an unnecessary filler word. Correction: "I thought it was a dream, or something."

"I sigh as I sit there waiting in yet another hospital for another check-up." (p.10). You need a comma here. Correction: "I sigh as I sit there, waiting in yet another hospital for another check-up."

In paragraph 10, he was waiting for his check-up, but suddenly, in paragraph 11, he's in his appointment and the doctor is speaking with him. When was he called into the office? Where is the time skip? Make sure to include the change of setting in situations like this.

"'Thank you,' I say and feeling intensely relieved, I stand up." (p.12). You're missing a comma here. Correction: "'Thank you,' I say, and feeling intensely relieved, I stand up."