SIN was known for two things

Outmost chaos and danger.

Anastasia Beverly had a life you couldn't tell just from looking at her, ofcourse extraordinary confidence radiated from her, you could tell she was a woman of power, but what you could never guess was that she was on a mission; TO HUNT AND KILL, but then life throws something or should I say someone unexpectedly her way. And she's stuck between choosing her revenge served on a platter of gold or seeking something she thought she could never have

Life has a funny way of doing things

Imagine falling inlove with your prey?

Bloody hell something unpleasant was bound to happen!

While your cover fits the aesthetic and mood your story may go for, it's very cluttered. The title reminds me of a price tag, which would work if it related the plot or triggering action, but in this case, it isn't the way to portray your cover. The title should be easy to see, and the font should represent the story and genre. Overall, the quality did not impress me. However, there are many graphic designers on Wattpad who can help you out, and I have some fantastic cover shops featured in my reading lists. If you're looking for a better cover to represent your story, I suggest checking those out.

I appreciate that the title of the story hinted at the story genre and plot. It draws in the right audience for your story. However, especially within the dark romance genre, having "sin" in the title is very common and borders on generic/cliché. You can keep the title as it is, but keep in mind that I've critiqued a few stories with similar titles and plots, and there are probably more out there. If you want your story to stand and be successful, I suggest being open to the possibility of other title ideas.

There is a lot of work that needs to be done for your blurb. You have many grammatical errors, including missing punctuation and misspelled words. For example, "of course" is two words, "in love" should be two words, and you need to end sentences with periods. "Outmost" should be "Utmost" and "Sin was known for two things" should end with a period, or it's incomplete. You poorly constructed this blurb. A blurb should be short, concise, and show of your writing capabilities. Your blurb is short, but it is not concise. I suggest carefully planning each sentence structure. Split the huge paragraph into smaller ones so the readability is more clear to readers. If you inspect the large paragraph in your blurb, your first sentence makes up most of it. You have comma splices, and you strung endless clauses together. This makes it hard for your blurb to make sense. If you want to work on clearing up your blurb, I suggest reading thoroughly through the grammar section, because most of the things addressed there applies to your blurb. And when you've cleaned up your blurb to the best it can be, you can incorporate writing skills such as metaphors/similes and descriptive language to draw in potential readers. Keep in mind that if you structure your blurb the same as other stories, it will not gather the attention you'd want.

Immediately, I got a taste for your writing style. It was beautiful and descriptive, but it was also chunky. You included many synonyms of the same word when it could be narrowed for more clarity. You could shorten sentences and even split the paragraph into smaller chunks. This was also a generic way to start a story, especially one within the genre. I didn't get the strongest impression from it, because almost all Wattpad males are extremely masculine and handsome. You want to give your readers something different. What truly makes this beginning different from others? You could start with an action or with philosophical thinking.

I noticed you were missing capitalization in certain places. The beginning of a new sentence, a certain person, place, or thing, must always be capitalized. The next time you capitalize (or don't capitalize), keep this rule in mind.

Additionally, you had some comma splices. A comma splice is joining two different independent clauses together, and separating them with a comma, but not a conjunction. An example of this is: "I went to work, I drove in my car." These are two different independent clauses, "I went to work" and "I drove in my car." They both have predicates and subjects, and are separated with a comma. However, you must separate them with a conjunction as well. Without a conjunction, this turns into a comma splice. You have two options in this case. You can either replace the comma with a period and turn it into two different sentences, or add in a conjunction. In this case, the correction can be, "I went to work, and I drove in my car," or "I went to work. I drove in my car." You have many cases of comma splices in your writing, which I've pointed out for you. There were many that I haven't pointed out, so make sure to do that.

You had some comma mistakes in your writing. Commas are used to separate different clauses. There are two types of clauses: Independent and dependent. They both have subjects (who/what is doing the action), and a predicate (the action being done). The difference between the two is that an independent clause can stand alone as its own sentence, while a dependent clause depends on another clause to make sense. If over one clause is joined, they should be separated with a comma. For example, this sentence, "I cried, then Billy ran away," there are two different independent clauses. One is "I cried," and the other is "Billy ran away." You'll notice that they're separated with a conjunction and a comma. You often misuse commas in this sense or forget to add them. Commas can also separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," and you'll notice that it has a subject "I" and a predicate "went." The word "today" is excluded and needs to be separated with a comma. The correction is: "Today, I went to work."

You struggled in this area. You misused words (I've pointed some in your chapter reviews below) and you misspelled basic vocabulary words. I suggest strengthening your basic vocabulary. Whenever there is a word with a meaning you're unsure of, look it up. Make sure it's the right word to use. When your vocabulary is strengthened, you can then work on your diction. I suggest using an online thesaurus, and whenever you notice you're repetitively using the same, boring words, you can look up synonyms to spice up your writing and to expand your diction use.

I appreciated how you combined two concepts together in making this story. Keep in mind that having killers and romance in the dark romance genre is a pretty common trope. If you choose to go through this route, then everything else you write needs to be original and well-executed. I noticed you had the bare minimum of world-building. I didn't get any hint of what life was like for the protagonist or what her world looked like. You could have expressed this through her reactions or her thoughts. I additionally am unfamiliar with her setting. All I know is that she's in a bar, and that's it. Additionally, this chapter was extremely short. It's only 6 paragraphs long, and although you could break down most paragraphs into smaller, more clear paragraphs, it doesn't establish the plot. This is essentially a filler chapter. Every chapter you write needs to include something that furthers the plot. So, the protagonist spots the guy. He walks over and sits down. That's the end of the chapter? It's not enough information to pass as just one chapter. Instead, I suggest having the first chapter include how they meet, and what they talk about. I also noticed that in the blurb, it says she's on a mission, and is then distracted by a potential love interest. But why does the first chapter immediately introduce him? Shouldn't it be that she's currently doing her job, then she gets distracted?

I learned almost nothing from your protagonist in this first chapter. Again, this chapter should be lengthened, and there should be some kind of triggering action to start the story off. All I learned was that the male in the chapter was a representation of almost every male love interest on Wattpad. This is nothing new, and while your readers might like this kind of personality, it's expected, and introduces nothing new to your story. Try to go more into depth when describing your characters. What stories are they hiding? What are their opinions about something? How can you make even the side characters come to life? Even the red-headed girl is a basic depiction of every "mean" girl on Wattpad who would come up to a guy in a bar, and her seduction would disgust the guy. Authors often try to degrade other women in stories as "slutty" or "disgusting" when they hit on men, particularly the main character's love interest (who probably isn't in a relationship with the protagonist in the first place) because the protagonist is "different" and "special" from the rest. If this is true for your character, then I suggest taking the time to address why and how she is different, because in this chapter, she was admiring this guy exactly the same way as the red-headed girl.

There were some repetitions in your writing. Especially with your descriptions, you have a habit of stringing clauses together. For example, take the sentence, "... and stared at me as though trying to read a message, one that I couldn't perceive." This sentence is bordering on becoming a comma splice. While this is technically correct, it would be better to replace the comma with a semicolon and say, "... and stared at me as though trying to read a message; one that I couldn't perceive." While this is a clear indicator for your writing style, this is also your default way of writing. It's very repetitive. I suggest experimenting with different ways to structure your descriptions in different ways as to not bore your readers. Although this is important, I also suggest making your grammar errors your priorities. By cleaning up mistakes, your writing voice will naturally improve. Only add writing techniques when you have strengthened your grammar and diction.

I couldn't get a clear understanding since this was only one (short) chapter. I noticed that your story flow was overall smooth, but your repetition had you stuck in the same place for the entire chapter. This entire scene was your character admiring or noticing things about a guy. You could combine that all in one paragraph and move on.

"Standing there at the corner of the bar, with his figure slightly leaning against the wall was a magnificent creature, one like nothing I've ever seen." (p.1). You need a comma here, as these are three clauses. You also have unnecessary filler words. If you want your writing to be clear and easy to read, remove any unnecessary word. Correction/Suggestion: "Standing there at the corner of the bar, with his figure leaning against the wall, was a magnificent creature, one like nothing I've ever seen." Even corrected, this sentence is chunky and awkward to work with. I suggest replacing a comma with a semicolon or breaking this into several sentences.

In paragraph 1, "grandiose" means to be pretentiously impressive and imposing. If one is said to be grandiosingly handsome, it means that person considers him/herself to be handsome. It means to consider yourself better than others and refer to others as inferior because of how well you consider yourself. This probably isn't the diction you were going for when describing the guy, so I suggest looking up words in the future if you don't know exactly what they mean.

"The expression on his face an emblem to how uninterested he was in the conversation." (p.2). This is technically an incomplete sentence. This is a continued thought of the previous sentence, so I advise you to add in necessary filler words to make it a thought/sentence standing on its own. Additionally, "to" should be replaced with "of." Correction: "The expression on his face was an emblem of how uninterested he was in the conversation."

In paragraph 2, "straight out" should be "straight-up" with a hyphen.

"His eyes were intriguing as well for I could tell they held stories untold." (p.3). This sentence is awkward. You should have a comma here as "for" is being used as a conjunction. You can remove unnecessary filler words and rearrange the structure of this sentence. Correction: "His eyes were intriguing, for I could tell they held untold stories." You can also expand upon this description. Instead of writing something vague about something and leaving it at that (as it does absolutely nothing for your readers), strengthen this sentence. What stories did your character suspect his eyes told? Stories of sorrow? Stories of hardship? In what way was he looking at her? In a restless, bitter way? Or in a cool, calm, and collected way? These can all hint and foreshadow at the progress of the story and help your audience visualize this moment as well.

"... a slow sensuous movement." (p.4). Since this is an asyndeton (listing descriptions in a sentence), there should be a comma separating each word. Correction: "... a slow, sensuous movement."

"... my eyes followed him hungrily like a predator does to it's prey." (p.4). This sentence is awkward. "It's" with an apostrophe is a contraction for "It is." It doesn't make sense for the sentence to say "... like a predator does to it is prey." Additionally, instead of saying it does, say it would, as it is a hypothetical situation. Correction/Suggestion: "... my eyes followed him hungrily, like a predator would its prey." Notice the necessary comma I added as well.

"And then he sat before me, an unlit cigar I failed to notice was placed inbetween his fingers." (p.4). Here, "inbetween" should be two words: "In between." Additionally, since the second clause is a continuation of the thought, a few filler words are not necessary. By including them in, you're turning this into a comma splice, which is two or more clauses joined with commas without conjunctions. The second clause can stand alone as a sentence, so you can either split it into two sentences, or turn it into a continued thought of the first clause. Correction: "And then he sat before me, an unlit cigar placed in between his fingers." OR "And then he sat before me. an unlit cigar I failed to notice was placed in between his fingers." Notice how I removed excess information because it isn't necessary to the plot (this is optional, but recommended).

"Involuntarily, I leaned closer to him, his breath smelt like cigar smoke and mint." (p.5). This is a comma splice. Again, a comma splice is using commas to combine two or more clauses together without a conjunction. These two clauses are independent; meaning they can be sentences on their own. Joining them without a conjunction is incorrect. You can either replace the comma with a period, or add in a conjunction. In this case, I suggest the former. Correction: "Involuntarily, I leaned closer to him. His breath smelt like cigar smoke and mint." I also noticed your use of "smelt." "Smelled" and "smelt" is used interchangeably within the British community, so while it isn't incorrect, keep in mind that "smelt" has other definitions unrelated to "smelled" as well.

In paragraph 5, "british" needs to be capitalized.

This was a relatively short chapter, but I appreciated the effort put into your writing style. For now, I suggest cleaning up your writing. Resist from using descriptions until you've fully researched and cleaned up your grammar errors. Then, you can begin to use descriptions to enhance the writing experience for your audience.