Winter West High is a school for perfect students. The wealthy, the genius, the good looking, everyone can't be divided, and Kennedy- the overly cautious student- is one of them.

When the class Kennedy is in, win the awards for being the best, with the school's permission- they threw parties after another. But when a classmate got missing, they were forcibly stop, but the determination of the geniuses is ceaseless- and a hidden party can't be blocked.

The secret party goes on, not knowing that they will unravel secrets after secrets. Not knowing, that they were in a class full of deception, and as friendships breaks, lovers part, their true self will unveil. The perfect students will show more lies, more secrets, more masks to uncover, and will soon show the greatest art of murder.

Your cover is organized and has most aspects that covers need. However, I found the image of the girl used is generic, and it doesn't do a good job of representing your story. How can you crop it and add filters to make it more interesting? Are there other images that better represent your story? For example, you could use an image relating to a school or a party, as that is the setting of your story. If you're struggling with this, I suggest going to a cover designer on Wattpad.

I can see how it relates and connects with your story. I believe that the idea/concept you went for was how it's easy to be fooled by beautiful masks, but I did find several other stories on Wattpad with the same or many other variations of the same title. I encourage keeping it as it is, but make sure to keep your mind open for more appealing titles that can only represent your story.

I caught many grammatical mistakes and awkward sentence structures in your blurb. For one, you need to choose a tense and stick with it. You started with present tense, but you switched to past tense. You have misplaced commas, and awkward structures. For example, it makes more sense to say, "No one can be divided" rather than "everyone can't be divided." You also conjugated many words incorrectly here. The way you structured this blurb is very hazy and blurry. You have generic descriptions that could be left out. I suggest thoroughly rewriting and editing your blurb, but for accuracy purposes, if I were to clean up all your errors, your blurb would look like this:

Winter West High is a school for perfect students. The wealthy, the genius, the good looking, no one can be divided. And Kennedy- the overly cautious student- is one of them.

When Kennedy's class wins an award for being the best, they throw parties one after another - with the school's permission. But when a classmate goes missing, they are forcibly stopped, but the determination of geniuses are ceaseless- and a hidden party can't be blocked.

The secret parties continue, not knowing that they will unravel secrets after secrets. Not knowing that they are in a class full of deception, and as friendships break and lovers part, their true selves will unveil. The perfect students will reveal lies, more secrets, more masks to uncover, and will show the greatest art of murder.

Even after I briefly edited your blurb, there's still a lot of work to do. Most of your sentences can be rephrased. Additionally, you made your sentence structures so that they sound different from the meanings you're conveying. For example, you wrote that the secret party continued, not knowing that they will unravel secrets after secrets. A party is not a person, so there shouldn't be a "they." If you're referring to the students, you need to write it as that, because you're basically saying the party doesn't know they will unravel secrets.

Your descriptions in your hook were vivid and beautiful, but there were still many grammatical errors that need to be addressed, such as tense use and the difference between plural and singular words. I'll address these later in your chapter reviews, but it's important to understand these basic rules when writing in the future.

I noticed that you tended to leave out punctuation in your dialogues. Just like ending sentences, dialogues need to be ended as well. Just because you add a dialogue mark to the end doesn't mean it's a complete sentence. It isn't complete until you add a punctuation mark at the end. I've pointed out some examples of this below. If your dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (he said, she yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. For example, it doesn't make sense for the clause, "She said," to be a sentence by itself. Therefore, it's part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence isn't complete, and the start of a dialogue tag is not capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. The opposite goes for action tags. If your dialogue is accompanied by an action tag (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action), the action should not be part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue doesn't help the action tag make sense; the action tag should be a sentence by itself. Therefore, the dialogue should end in a period to signify the end of the sentence, and the start of the action tag should always be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. Of course, the punctuation may vary. Exclamation marks and question marks can end a dialogue regardless of the tag accompanying it, as long as if it's a dialogue tag, the dialogue never ends in a period, and for an action tag, it never ends in a comma.

Example of dialogue + dialogue tag: "'I'm okay,' she said." OR "She said, 'I'm okay.'"

Example of dialogue + action tag: "'I'm okay.' She forced a smile." OR "She forced a smile. 'I'm okay.'"

You had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

I noticed the amount of comma splices used as well. A comma splice is joining two different independent clauses together, and separating them with a comma, but not a conjunction. An example of this is: "I went to work, I drove in my car." These are two different independent clauses, "I went to work" and "I drove in my car." They both have predicates and subjects, and are separated with a comma. However, you must separate them with a conjunction as well. Without a conjunction, this turns into a comma splice. You have two options in this case. You can either replace the comma with a period and turn it into two different sentences, or add in a conjunction. In this case, the correction can be, "I went to work, and I drove in my car," or "I went to work. I drove in my car." You have many cases of comma splices in your writing, which I've pointed out for you. There were many that I haven't pointed out, so make sure to do that.

You often slipped up in your tense. Whether your story is set in past or present tense, you need to pick one and stay in it. If you're in past tense, you should use words such as "didn't" and "wanted." If you're writing in present tense, you should use, "don't" and "want." I've shown a few examples where you slipped up your tense below, so keep this rule in mind for future writing.

You also incorrectly conjugated many words within your sentences in your writing. I've pointed out several examples in your chapter reviews, but I highly suggest researching grammar rules extensively on your own as well.

I found many typos and misspellings in your writing. I've pointed out some examples, but I have no doubt that there are more that I've missed. These are up to you to find and correct on your own. In addition, you have a habit of using words without actually knowing their definitions. If you aren't sure of a word, make sure to look up the definition and how it's used in a sentence before applying it to your work. Most of your mistakes centered around basic vocabulary words, so I also suggest brushing up your vocabulary.

You need to focus on your world-building. Your descriptions of the setting were brief or nonexistent, and you wrote scenes in a rush or transitioned without filling in the readers what was going on. There were certain places in your writing where the story pacing was rushed, and the different events of the plot hopped all over the place. You left out explanations for certain events, or necessary reactions. I'll discuss this more in context with your voice and story flow, but for the plot; while you're headed in the right direction, you need to spend some time mapping out the setting and the actual content of your story.

I was able to sense the different personalities from your characters, but I also sensed that you rushed when building their characteristics. You want to make them memorable for your readers, and that includes giving them their own voices. You used your own voice when writing their dialogues, so they ended up all sounding the same. Additionally, you want to establish physical flaws, quirks, and characteristics, rather than handing out generic phrases related to hair or eye color.

By clearing up your grammar mistakes, your writing in itself will clear up immensely. I also suggest plotting your story and each chapter carefully to avoid confusion and disorganized writing. I sensed that you were trying to embellish your writing, but I suggest stopping. You need to focus on your basic grammar and sentence structures first. Then, once you're comfortable with that, you can continue on to extend your vocabulary and descriptions.

I sensed that you couldn't decide the best way to transition or choose a specific flow for your story. Because of this, in some parts your writing is rushed and confusing, and others your pace slows to a crawl. I suggest keeping your story flow consistent; then you can look at different ways to transition smoothly.

"Screams stabs its way into my mind, tearing through my skull until it altered into deafening outcries." (p.1). This is a good example of your tense slip-ups and conjugation errors. If you notice, you started with using past tense. However, in the beginning of this sentence, you wrote in present tense, then switched back to past tense in the second half. You need to stay consistent with your past tense. Additionally, "screams," is plural, meaning there is more than one. However, you wrote as though it was singular. If it's singular, make sure to include an indefinite article in front of it and remove the "s" at the end. If it's plural, conjugate the words around it to fit in with the context. Correction: "Screams stabbed their way into my mind, tearing through my skull until it altered into deafening outcries."

"... the new figure was completely warp with darkness." (p.3). You incorrectly conjugated the word "warp" in this sentence. If you don't understand how to use a word in a sentence, make sure to look it up. Correction: "... the new figure was completely warped with darkness."

"The first figure handed me something, a knife, rough against my palm but its' ends glints with sharpness." (p.5). You have more tense slip-ups here and an unnecessary apostrophe. You also have a comma splice. As a reminder, a comma splice is combining two or more clauses with a comma without a necessary conjunction. You should either replace the comma with a period, or add in a conjunction. You have unnecessary filler words that clutter this sentence as well. Correction: "The first figure handed me something. A knife, rough against my palm but glinting with sharpness."

"I awoke through discomfort." (p.6). Here, it should actually be, "I awoke with discomfort." Additionally, your protagonist just had a terrifying nightmare of some sort, so "discomfort" shouldn't be the word used here. Discomfort is slight pain or uneasiness. It's a subtle feeling, and isn't normally used in these types of scenes. I suggest replacing it with a stronger word that conveys what your protagonist feels better.

"My skin was shooked with another flesh..." (p.9). First of all, "shook" is already the past tense form for "shake," so you can't really make it more past tense than it already is. Additionally, if there is another person, just say there's another person instead of writing around. Often, attempting to be elusive has a negative effect on your readers. It's best to be straightforward and clear instead of describing the most basic things.

"'What...' I mumbled again, hearing nothing but my own." (p.12). Your own what? Your voice? This sentence is technically incomplete.

"I eyed all three of them, puzzled on the new occurring event." (p.16). You have an incorrect filler word here. Correction: "I eyed all three of them, puzzled by the new occurring event."

"Elise straitened herself..." (p.24). The word "straitened" means to be characterized by poverty or be restrained. I believe the word you were attempting to use is "straightened."

"Well, you're a red head yourself" (p.33). This should be one word. Additionally, you have a habit of ending dialogues without proper punctuation. You need to have punctuation, or the sentence is technically incomplete. This applies to your dialogues in this entire chapter. Correction: "Well, you're a redhead yourself."

"Sometimes, I could almost feel as if someone's watching, as if shadows tracking us even in our sleeps." (p.37). You have an overwhelming amount of grammar errors here. You have tense slip-ups, incorrectly conjugated words, and got confused between plural and singular. Correction: "Sometimes, I could almost feel as though someone were watching, as if shadows were tracking us even in our sleep."

"... and as soon as Chrstine goes outside everyone are quick to follow." (p.41). Again, you have tense slip-ups and misused filler words. Correction: "... and as soon as Chrstine went outside, everyone was quick to follow." I also added a necessary comma.

"'I'm okay' I quickly piped in, I smiled at him until he releases the forming crease on his forehead." (p.47). It should be "piped up," and you have a comma splice here. You also have tense slip-ups. Correction: "'I'm okay,' I quickly piped up. I smiled at him until he released the forming crease on his forehead." Take notice of how I also added in punctuation at the end of the dialogue, as necessary.

"Good things, always comes with great prices." (p.54). You have tense slip-ups here, you incorrectly conjugated, and you have an unnecessary comma. Correction: "Good things always came with great prices."

"There was no beauty in the design—only brutal efficiency which overlooks the trees that almost forms like moving figures within odious darkness." (p.3). You have tense slip-ups here, and you need to properly conjugate words around plural/singular word forms. In addition, you're essentially saying that the efficiency overlooks the trees, not the barricade. Correction: "There was no beauty in the design—only brutal efficiency, and the barricade overlooked the trees, formed like moving figures within odious darkness." I also suggest writing out numbers between one and ten.

"... so for the class of 2019-2020. Congratulations!" (p.5). The first sentence is technically incomplete, as the thought still continues. Correction: "... so for the class of 2019-2020, Congratulations!"

"While Elise is on Lucas side, sobbing while wiping herself on Lucas shoulder. She was sobbing hard, her makeup all smudge." (p.6). You need apostrophes here to convey Lucas possessing something, such as Lucas's side or Lucas's shoulder. Additionally, you have tense slip-ups, and you have repetition. You wrote that she was crying two times, and despite the variations, it's still noticeable and unnecessary. You also incorrectly conjugated "smudge" into the context of the sentence. Correction: "While Elise was on Lucas' side, sobbing while wiping herself on his shoulder, her makeup all smudged." You'll also notice that I got rid of the second "Lucas" since you already have his name in there.

"All night long I could only sing incoherent mumbles, I was actually gifted with a great voice but bad at memorizing lyrics." (p.10). You have comma splices here. To correct a comma splice, you can either add in a conjunction with the comma, or replace the comma with a period. You're missing a comma as well, and you need a necessary filler word. Correction: "All night long I could only sing in incoherent mumbles. I was actually gifted with a great voice, but was bad at memorizing lyrics."