Joshua Carter, Noah Mckall, Taylor Nickson, Rebecca Leyhe, Griffin Andrew, and Ross Clay.

Why are these names important? Because these were the only survivors of the vanished.

One missing leads to a whole town gone in a spans of months. So the only.question is

Who's next?

As a reader, I wouldn't have been drawn to your cover. The font used for the title doesn't fit in with books in the mystery genre, and the image used could have been cropped or filtered better to please the eye. The author's name (if there) is hardly visible, and a cover is not a cover without the author's name. I suggest going to a cover designer on Wattpad.

There are a lot of variations of the same title you used on Wattpad, but your title does represent your story and is referenced in the blurb. It's bordering on generic, but if you believe that the title is an important reference in itself in your story, then I encourage you to keep it as it is.

From looking at your blurb, there are several things that I see wrong. You have grammatical errors, such as an unnecessary period between "only" and "question" and you have an incomplete sentence. You ended the third paragraph with an incomplete sentence and finished the sentence in the next paragraph. This is inaccurate, and I suggest keeping that one sentence together. In a blurb, I also recommend having only at most one question. You have two hypothetical questions in there, so I suggest removing one and rephrasing it as a statement. Since the missing people seemed to be labeled as the "vanished," it's a title, and therefore should be capitalized. You also unnecessarily pluralized a word. Potential readers won't absorb names, especially if you put it right at the front of your blurb. In the most likely scenario, they'll probably gloss over the list of names entirely. I suggest keeping the names to a minimum, and since these names are necessary, leave out the last names. If I were to correct all these mistakes, your blurb would look something like this:

Joshua, Noah, and Taylor.

Rebecca, Griffin, and Ross.

The only survivors of the Vanished.

One missing leads to a whole town gone in the span of a month.

So the only question is: Who's next?

With this, I was actually able to shorten and tighten your blurb, making it easier for potential readers to absorb this information.

Your beginning is very whimsical and incorporates a dreamlike quality. You left a good impression on me as a reader, but I spotted a few grammatical errors right off the bat. I'll explain those later in your chapter reviews, but keep in mind that your introduction to your story is one of many important aspects in writing a story, as it showcases your writing abilities.

I noticed that you tended to leave out punctuation in your dialogues. Just like ending sentences, dialogues need to be ended as well. Just because you add a dialogue mark to the end doesn't mean it's a complete sentence. It isn't complete until you add a punctuation mark at the end. If your dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (he said, she yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. For example, it doesn't make sense for the clause, "She said," to be a sentence by itself. Therefore, it's part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence isn't complete, and the start of a dialogue tag is not capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. The opposite goes for action tags. If your dialogue is accompanied by an action tag (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action), the action should not be part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue doesn't help the action tag make sense; the action tag should be a sentence by itself. Therefore, the dialogue should end in a period to signify the end of the sentence, and the start of the action tag should always be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. Of course, the punctuation may vary. Exclamation marks and question marks can end a dialogue regardless of the tag accompanying it, as long as if it's a dialogue tag, the dialogue never ends in a period, and for an action tag, it never ends in a comma.

Example of dialogue + dialogue tag: "'I'm okay,' she said." OR "She said, 'I'm okay.'"

Example of dialogue + action tag: "'I'm okay.' She forced a smile." OR "She forced a smile. 'I'm okay.'"

You had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

I noticed the amount of comma splices used as well. A comma splice is joining two different independent clauses together, and separating them with a comma, but not a conjunction. An example of this is: "I went to work, I drove in my car." These are two different independent clauses, "I went to work" and "I drove in my car." They both have predicates and subjects, and are separated with a comma. However, you must separate them with a conjunction as well. Without a conjunction, this turns into a comma splice. You have two options in this case. You can either replace the comma with a period and turn it into two different sentences, or add in a conjunction. In this case, the correction can be, "I went to work, and I drove in my car," or "I went to work. I drove in my car." You have many cases of comma splices in your writing, which I've pointed out for you. There were many that I haven't pointed out, so make sure to do that.

I noticed that you had unnecessary capitalization, or you were missing capitalization in certain places. The beginning of a new sentence, a certain person, place, or thing, must always be capitalized. The next time you capitalize (or don't capitalize), keep this rule in mind.

You also had some tense slip-ups and had extra spaces (or missing spaces) where they were or weren't needed. Make sure to proof-read and edit thoroughly when you look over your work. Additionally, you have a habit of writing incomplete sentences. Keep in mind that a sentence needs to have a subject and an action. I've pointed out some examples below.

I spotted several spelling mistakes and contraction errors. When you're writing a sentence with a contraction (such as "you're" or "she's"), write out the full contraction to see if it makes sense ("you are" and "she is"). You also mixed up or incorrectly spelled basic vocabulary words, so I suggest brushing up on your spelling skills, and always look up a word if you aren't sure of it. I found multiple areas where you misused a word. Don't put in a word just because it sounds right, because there's a high possibility that you're incorrect.

Your world-building for your story was very flat. You left out many needed descriptions for your readers to understand what was going on and what your MC's surroundings looked like. I also read this entire chapter with no emotions invoked within me. I found that your characters didn't react accordingly to an injury. Your MC laughed and joked around first, then attended to the injury afterward. Shouldn't it have been the other way around? You didn't spend enough time establishing bonds between your characters and your audience, and most of your character interactions were just back-and-forth dialogues.

As I've mentioned earlier, your characters were flat, and I wasn't emotionally attached to them. For example, the MC's whole family had died, and your MC only took a few moments in the very beginning of the chapter to feel sad about it. You described it as a very distant thing, instead of something personal for your character. I also didn't feel the fear that your MC would have felt when hearing something unknown in the darkness, so I would have liked for you to spend more time on establishing emotions. In addition, I wasn't able to remember most of your characters' names. This means you need to spend more time establishing who they are. That means physical flaws and quirks, as well as the different ways that they speak and handle situations.

If you focus on clearing up your grammatical mistakes and spelling errors, your writing voice will improve on its own as well. I noticed that you had more dialogue than the actual narration. I suggest that you spend more time describing things, whether it be your MC's surroundings or a reaction. You don't always have to explain things through dialogue. Additionally, why do you write? Most people write because it's fun. There are so many ways to experiment with their writing style, and the goal is to make your writing voice as unique as possible. What do you love about your favorite author's writing? What sentence structures do they often use? What about how they symbolize things or describe things? Try to capture that feeling and incorporate that into your writing.

There was only one general transition in scenes for your chapter, but I felt that it went overall very smoothly. However, make sure that you don't write filler scenes. For example, in the very first half of the story, right before your MC wakes up hearing something, nothing really happens. There was no purpose in including that scene. You could have easily incorporated those details into different scenes, so make sure everything you write contributes to your plot. That way, your transitions will feel less awkward as well.

"I adjust the pillow, grab the blanket , and look up." (p.1). You have an unnecessary space here.

"I picture my siblings and parents laughing happily. While I'm stuck down here morning them." (p.2). This is one thought and shouldn't be separated. That means that technically, this shouldn't be two sentences. In addition, the word "morning" is a period from sunrise to noon. You misused it, and the correct word is "mourning": deep sorrow for a deceased one, with black clothes worn as an expression of grief. Correction: "I picture my siblings and parents laughing happily, while I'm stuck down here mourning them."

"Most disappeared, others ran trying to escape." (p.3). You have a comma splice here, which is when you combine two or more clauses with a comma. You should be including a conjunction as well, or be replacing the comma with a period. A comma is needed here as well. Correction: "Most disappeared, and others ran, trying to escape." OR "Most disappeared. Others ran, trying to escape." Additionally, I suggest writing out numbers if they're within the range of one through ten.

"I can't seem to escape and maybe I won't ever be able to ever escape it." (p.4). You have repetition here; you repeated the same thing twice. You have one clause here saying "I can't seem to escape," and the second being, "I won't ever be able to ever escape it." They're the same things, so I suggest cutting back the repetition. Suggestion: "I can't seem to escape, and maybe I never will."

"I close my eyes inhaling the smoke." (p.7). Without a comma here, this sentence could sound like the MC closed their eyes, which were inhaling smoke. Which obviously makes sense, since eyes can't inhale. Correction: "I close my eyes, inhaling the smoke."

"I sit up straight, grabbing the knife beside me. I slowly stand up, the quiet sound of twigs snapping. I inch closer to the sound making sure not to step on a twig. I hear whispering and lower the knife a little." (p.8 & 9). You're missing commas here, and if you read this out loud to yourself, you'll find that these sentences sound awkward and stilted. This is because you're starting each sentence with "I." You also have repetition with the twigs. I suggest cutting back on reusing the same sentence structures, or it will sound forced and awkward.

"I chuckle 'your helping out Josh, oh my god I must have died'" (p.19). You're missing punctuations here, and you need a comma. "Your" is a possessive noun, when you're referring to something that belongs to you. It doesn't fit in this context, and you should replace it with "you're" which is a contraction of "you are." You need capitalization since it's the beginning of a new sentence, and the action tag and dialogue are separate sentences from one another. This sentence is technically incomplete because there is no punctuation ending the dialogue. Correction: "I chuckle. 'You're helping out Josh. Oh my god, I must have died.'" I also removed the comma splice.

"Grabbing a towel, alcohol, water, needle,and rope." (p.30). This sentence is incomplete. A complete sentence includes a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done). Here, the predicate is "grabbing," as it's the action, but you didn't include the subject: Who was doing the grabbing. In this case, you should combine this sentence with the one prior to make it complete. You also need a space.

"'Why is she here?' She's asks her voice dripping with hate." (p.37). If you break down the contractions, your sentence sounds like this: "She is asks her voice dripping with hate." You're also missing a comma, and this is one whole sentence. The beginning of the dialogue tag shouldn't be capitalized, as it isn't the start of a new sentence. Correction: "'Why is she here?' she asks, her voice dripping with hate."

"I barley make it." (p.52). Barley is a grain in the grass family. You mis-wrote it, and it should actually be "barely." If you aren't sure of spellings, make sure to look it up before writing it down. Correction: "I barely make it."

"I constraint and close my eyes picturing myself hitting it spot on." (p.53). The word "constraint" means to restrict oneself; a limitation. You misused it in this situation, and I believe you meant to say "concentrate." You need a comma as well. Correction: "I concentrate and close my eyes, picturing myself hitting it spot on."

"How d did you do that?" (p.57). I suspect that you attempted to have Rebecca stutter here, but without a hyphen, you're writing "d" as its own word. Correction: "How d-did you do that?"

Your story plot is headed in the right direction. I found that you lacked certain areas in writing, such as with your grammar/spelling errors, and you didn't linger with details or world-building. I suggest focusing on making your world and characters as vivid as possible. Then, go back and correct all your grammar mistakes, and add an artistic touch to your writing to make it your own.