When Veronica Burks has to face the pure tragic death in Salem during the witch trials the next day, real witches gifted her a lasting present: An endless curse where continuous reviving life was really - death itself.

Her lonely travel each time she died ended when a man she slept within a one night stand took the bullet and died with her.

She reincarnated again. But this time

Pierre Jeno, a romantic french, will wake up with her to go through death all over again.

The way you presented the photo and font was very professional and nicely done! You used an appealing photo relevant to your story, and your title was easily the largest text on your cover. Well done!

One thing I appreciated was that I was able to connect your title to your story just by reading your blurb. The title fits your story perfectly. I did take off two points because the title is also pretty generic, and could fit other stories. The title is perfectly fine the way it is, but just be aware that in the future, it's probably better to find a title that only fits your story.

Your blurb was very clean and precise! There were a few phrases or words that were off. For example, in the first sentence, you could get rid of the phrase, "the next day." Along with that, you misused the word "within," because it means "in." Essentially, you're saying, "when a man she slept in a one night stand," which doesn't make sense. A correct way to say this would be, "when a man she slept with one night." I also removed unnecessary repetitive information here. By saying she slept with a man one night, that's the same thing as a one-night stand, so you don't need to say both. You also have an incomplete sentence with the phrase, "But this time." I suggest that you combine the last two paragraphs together. If I were to clean up this blurb further and correct spelling/grammar issues, it would look something like this:

When Veronica Burks has to face the pure tragic death in Salem during the witch trials, real witches gifted her a lasting present: An endless curse where continuous reviving life is really—death itself.

Her lonely travel each time she died ended when a man she slept with took the bullet and died with her.

She reincarnated again. But this time, Pierre Jeno, a romantic French, will wake up with her to go through death all over again.

The first sentence immediately captured my attention. You did a wonderful job at piquing my interest. However, the second paragraph had a few grammatical mistakes, and it was difficult to comprehend the information. I'll explain more on shortening/tightening and making this information more clear to your readers in your chapter reviews. I also realized after reading your story that Pierre wasn't a "one-night stand," so I don't know why you included that in your blurb. She had been with Pierre for about two months now, so make sure to correct that information.

The biggest problem I found was with your conjugations. You often mis-conjugated words within the context of a sentence. I've pointed some out in your chapter critiques, but these mistakes were overwhelming enough that I wasn't able to point them all out. I highly suggest typing up your stories on a Google Doc or Word Document. That way, your mistakes (or most of them) will automatically be corrected as you write. I also suggest using ProWritingAid, as it'll point out your conjugation errors, how to correct them, and why they're incorrect.

You also struggled with your punctuation with dialogues. If your dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (he said, she yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. For example, it doesn't make sense for the clause, "She said," to be a sentence by itself. This is also a perfect example of a dependent clause, because while it has a subject and a predicate, it doesn't make sense by itself; it depends on the dialogue to make sense. Therefore, it's part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence isn't complete, and the start of a dialogue tag is not capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. The opposite goes for action tags. If your dialogue is accompanied by an action tag (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action), the action should not be part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue doesn't help the action tag make sense; the action tag should be a sentence by itself. Therefore, the dialogue should end in a period to signify the end of the sentence, and the start of the action tag should always be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. Of course, the punctuation may vary. Exclamation marks and question marks can end a dialogue regardless of the tag accompanying it, as long as if it's a dialogue tag, the dialogue never ends in a period, and for an action tag, it never ends in a comma.

Example of dialogue + dialogue tag: "'I'm okay,' she said." OR "She said, 'I'm okay.'"

Example of dialogue + action tag: "'I'm okay.' She forced a smile." OR "She forced a smile. 'I'm okay.'"

You also had a lot of comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."

Dependent clauses are just like independent clauses: they also have a subject and a predicate. However, dependent clauses are exactly like what they sound like; they're dependent on another clause. They don't make sense by themselves. For example, the clause, "I decided not to," has both a subject and a predicate, but it needs more context to make sense. There should be another clause attached or a sentence before it that it depends on making sense. When joined to another clause with a conjunction, the dependent clause should still be separated with a comma as well.

Commas are also used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," where the subject is "I," and the predicate/action is "went to work." The word "today" is not included in the clause, and therefore should be separated with a comma. The correction would be: "Today, I went to work." This is a lot of information to take in, but try to keep these rules in mind for the next time you're writing.

I did find several typos within your writing and writing style issues, which I've pointed down below. What I suggest doing is to save your writing as a PDF file, then read over your story one chapter at a time. Or, you can change the font to a simple font, such as Ariel or Times New Roman. Because of the different format, your eyes will catch mistakes that you wouldn't have been able to see or notice before.

I was so impressed with this fresh concept you introduced. You twisted two different ideas together to create something very original! This story was very thorough and insightful, and I had a lot of fun reading through it. Well done. Although I did wonder... Did Veronica ever find out what the witches wanted in chapter 5? And why did the witches choose Veronica to experiment their charms on? Why would they even bother if they were to die anyway? Why didn't they try to save themselves instead?

I wasn't confused by who was who. I was able to connect with your character and your side characters as well. I would have appreciated more emotion provided for your character. You described the physical aspects of being upset or emotional well (such as crying), but oftentimes I felt that you didn't clearly depict the emotions that Veronica felt. I wanted to see her hopelessness, her frustration, and her longing. I only got glimpses of it at a time, so I suggest focusing on putting more depth into your characters.

You have a lovely writing voice, but it's hard to appreciate with all the grammar mistakes going on. I noticed your metaphors and similes, as well as the sensory detail you incorporated. Everything was well done, but it was hard to focus on the story with so many conjugation and dialogue errors. So just by focusing on those, your writing voice will clear up and make more sense to your readers.

I found that most of your transitions were clear and smooth. You were very obvious about how much time had passed from one scene to another, and you didn't write filler paragraphs or chapters. This story progressed very naturally for a short story, and I didn't find much abrupt scenes. I took off a point because I found that many of your transitions between time periods were very repetitive. It always started with how much time had passed. What I suggest doing is experimenting with different transitions. You don't always have to bluntly state where Veronica was, what time period it was, or how she died the life before. Think about describing her surroundings instead; it can be very insightful to hint at where she is or if she's in another lifetime. Along with that, just because she dies and wakes up again in another life doesn't mean she can't have trauma. She might be plagued with her past deaths, especially the more brutal ones. Try to incorporate that with your time skips.

"Her loud yelling pierced the ears of the two lawful guards, who nonchalantly grabbed her by both forearms and half dragging her insistent refused-to-walk feet heading towards a nightmare; the dark dungeon where the wicked beings are held captive, the so-called witches rumored." (p.2). Already, this sentence is way too long. It's difficult to understand, and it took me a while to untangle this information. There were unnecessary filler words, and you often used weak verbs and adverbs. Instead of clogging your sentence with verbs and adverbs, simply replace them with strong verbs and split this into several sentences. That way, it's easier for the reader to absorb. You also conjugated some words incorrectly. Correction: "Her [thundering/deafening/ear-splitting] yelling pierced the ears of the two guards. They nonchalantly grabbed her by both forearms and half-dragged her insistent feet towards a nightmare; the dark dungeon where the rumored so-called witches were held captive." I also added a necessary hyphen and fixed your tense slip-up.

"She wanted to scream the truth again but she knew her injustice would be a flailing attempt, so she managed to croaked out her last confession,'I'm not a witch, I never am one and never will be.'" (p.4). Again, this sentence is abnormally long. I suggest splitting into different sentences, properly conjugate specific words, and add necessary space as well as filler words. Correction/Suggestion: "She wanted to scream the truth again, but she knew proving this injustice would be a flailing attempt. So she managed to croak out her last confession, 'I'm not a witch. I never am one, and never will be." I also added commas. Additionally, this is her last confession, but she already said she wasn't a witch before.

"Sympathy etched on his facade..." (p.8). The word "facade" means to be fake, as in hiding behind a mask. Here, you are essentially saying that he wore a facade of sympathy. Does this mean he wasn't actually sympathetic towards her? I suspect not, especially after reading the context. I suggest replacing "facade" with "face."

"She was thrown harsh onto the ground..." (p.10). You incorrectly conjugated the word "harsh" into this sentence. Correction: "She was thrown harshly onto the ground."

"It was hard to tell if they were innocent like her, as the saying goes, never judge books by the cover." (p.16). Since these are separate clauses that you joined without a conjunction, I suggest splitting it into different sentences instead. Correction: "It was hard to tell if they were innocent like her. As the saying went, never judge books by the cover." I also corrected your tense slip-up. If you put clauses together that don't have a conjunction to join with, it probably means they should be separate sentences.

"I'm Millie and she's Henny." (p.19). You're missing a comma here. There are two independent clauses here. One is "I'm Millie," where the subject is "I" and the predicate is "am." The second clause is "she's Henny," and the subject is "she" and the predicate is "is." Since these two clauses are joined together with the conjunction, "and," they should be separated with a comma. Correction: "I'm Millie, and she's Henny."

"Veronica can't help but stuttered." (p.21). You switched your tenses incorrectly here. Correction: "Veronica couldn't help but stutter."

"'Do it.' She muttered..." (p.32). Since this dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag, this should be one whole sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence continues, and the beginning of the dialogue tag shouldn't be capitalized, as it's not the beginning of a new sentence. Correction: "'Do it,' she muttered..."

"'You're awake!' A gentleman said..." (p.2). Since the dialogue tag isn't the beginning of a new sentence, it shouldn't be capitalized. Correction: "'You're awake!' a gentleman said..."

"She's back alive as promised." (p.7). You have a tense slip-up here. Keep in mind that your story is set in past tense. Correction: "She was back alive, as promised." I also added a necessary comma.

"Noticing the incredible transformation of the place." (p.9). This is an incomplete sentence. An independent clause should have both a subject and predicate (the action), but this sentence only has the predicate. It doesn't have a subject (the person doing the noticing), so you have to include that in there to turn it into a complete sentence.

"It's 1803, ma'am?" (p.13). This isn't a question, so it shouldn't be phrased as one. Correction: "It's 1803, ma'am."

"'1803!' She squeaked, her frown as deep as the rabbit's burrow." (p.14). The dialogue tag shouldn't be capitalized, as it's not the beginning of a new sentence. Along with that, while I appreciated the simile you used here, "the" should be replaced with "a," as you're not referring to a specific rabbit's burrow. Correction: "'1803!' she squeaked, her frown as deep as a rabbit's burrow."

"She laughed, nervously." (p.19). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "She laughed nervously." Along with that, keep in mind that the phrase "shut up" was rarely used until the 20th century, and Veronica wasn't even from the 1800s but way before that, so she shouldn't even know what "shut up" is.

"Time flew in a swift, the once barren ground was now a packed of oat trees." (p.29). Time flew in a swift what? The word "swift" means quickly, but as an adjective. You should properly conjugate it or add an actual verb to it. I also suggest splitting this into two sentences, as these are two clauses without conjunctions. Correction: "Time flew by swiftly. The once barren ground was now packed with oat trees." I also conjugated other words correctly, if you didn't notice.

"... a cottage like room..." (p.35). You need a hyphen here. Correction: "... a cottage-like room..."

"Don't let father know..." (p.40). Since the word "father" doesn't have a possessive pronoun in front of it (her/his/their/my/your), it should be capitalized. Correction: "Don't let Father know..."

"'Here' the same girl..." (p.48). You're missing punctuation at the end of the dialogue, and the beginning of the action tag should be capitalized, as it's the beginning of a new sentence. Correction: "'Here.' The same girl..."

"... and stared into a fit muscular guy." (p.52). You're missing a comma here, and you should replace "into" with "at." After all, it doesn't make sense to stare into someone. Correction: "... and stared at a fit, muscular guy."

"'Hey' The similar guy called out." (p.65). Again, you need punctuation here. This suggestion applies to the rest of your chapter. The beginning of the dialogue tag shouldn't be capitalized as well. Correction: "'Hey,' the similar guy called out."

"She vanished, in dread, not knowing what kind of life and death she would face again." (p.79). You have an unnecessary comma here, as the clause "in dread" doesn't have a subject or a predicate, meaning it's part of the first clause. Correction: "She vanished in dread, not knowing what kind of life and death she would face again."

"She never seen any book..." (p.5). You're missing a filler word here. Correction: "She had never seen any book..."

"As much as she loves to see herself..." (p.7). You have a tense slip-up here. Correction: "As much as she loved to see herself..."

"Veronica wished she could escape everything and just died." (p.11). You incorrectly conjugated the word "die" here. Correction: "Veronica wished she could escape everything and just die."

"'Sorry' He quickly said and moved on like a tornado." (p.13). You're missing punctuation at the end of the dialogue. The beginning of the dialogue tag shouldn't be capitalized, as it's not the beginning of a new sentence. You also need a comma here to separate the independent and dependent clauses. Correction: "'Sorry,' he quickly said, and moved on like a tornado."

"It's 25 bucks" (p.19). Again, you're missing punctuation here, which is very important. I also suggest you write out the number. Correction/Suggestion: "It's twenty-five bucks." Also, in paragraph 16, don't use the symbol "&" for the word "and." It's unprofessional, so I suggest writing out the full word "and."

In paragraph 21, since there is no name after "Ms," you should write out the full word, "miss."