This is a Tiana soulmate story!!!!(Sorry all Glam, Tarella, Dexiana and other people who ship these two with others, not sorry.)

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Soulmates are rare in the Lost Cities. Only one pair come along every one million years.

The pair will only find out they are soulmates when one of their eyes become the colour of their soulmate's eyes.

Though most elves think it's just a legend.

Biana Vacker has heard about the legend about the soulmates, she thinks it's all just a legend, just like many others do, though she doesn't expect it to happen to her.

Tam Song has never heard of the legend of the soulmates, he's too busy caring for his twin to care. But when he sees Biana Vacker for the second time, something sparks in his eye.

Will the two ever know if soulmate do exist? And will they find out if their ever made for each other?

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Two shall come together every million years,

United as one.

One eye the same color as the other,

Unless they realize each other.

But beware, terrible fate awaits one,

something that might affect the other.

I like the color scheme used here because it goes well with the title. However, it doesn't do a good job at representing your story. After all, the eye colors might be important, but they're not the only aspects of your story. I suggest experimenting with using photos, filters, and font sizing/presentation and style. Or you could go to a cover designer on Wattpad.

I can understand why you chose the title to be Silver Eyes, Teal Eyes, but it only represents one portion of your story. What other titles appeal to you that are more unique and accurately represent most of your story? You can keep it the way it is, but I suggest keeping your mind open to other title possibilities.

Your blurb needs a lot of work. You have way too many things going on. From the freestyle poem at the bottom, the fanfiction notice at the top, and all the grammar mistakes in between, it's hard to find where the story description actually starts and ends.You have incomplete sentences, and most of your descriptions are pretty generic and common in most story blurbs. If I were to rewrite and clean up your blurb, it would look something like this:

Soulmates are rare in the Lost Cities. Only one pair comes along every one million years, although it is only revealed when one eye becomes the color of the soulmate's eyes.

Biana Vacker has heard of the legend of soulmates, but like most elves, she thinks it's just a legend.

Tam Song is too busy caring for his twin to care about the legend. But when he encounters Biana Vacker for the first time, something sparks in his eye.

Soulmates just might exist after all.

Do you see how I've conveyed the same information without overwhelming a potential reader? If you want to keep the poem at the end, you can include it in the full synopsis within the story. If you want to let readers know that it's a fanfiction, I suggest you keep it at the end of your blurb as well. Take note of the corrections I've made to your blurb. If you choose to include questions in your blurb, it should only be at most one question. But, if you can, avoid the questions completely. I don't suggest using this edited blurb here; even though I've only shortened it with your words, I used my style. Use your own style to edit and shorten your own blurb, and you'll see that it's much cleaner than it first was. Along with that, you have way too much information about the unimportant things, but not so much about the actual characters. All I know here is that Biana has heard about the legend. What else about her? Why doesn't she believe the legend? Try to slip that somewhere in your blurb.

You brought me straight into the story and included interesting elements which helped me learn more about your story right off the bat. It would have been nice to see some descriptions or a strong sentence that would have really hooked me in. I also noticed some grammatical errors, but I'll point those out in your chapter critiques.

You had many grammar mistakes, and they were often very repetitive. The biggest issue is your dialogue punctuation. If the dialogue is accompanied with an action tag (she sighed, he grinned, they walked away, just an action), the action tag should be its own sentence. It isn't part of the dialogue sentence, so the dialogue should end in a period, not a comma. The beginning of the action tag should also always be capitalized, as it's the beginning of a new sentence. The opposite goes for dialogue tags. If the dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (she yelled, he said, they cried out, etc), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. It doesn't make sense for the clause "She said" to be its own sentence. Therefore, the dialogue should always end in a comma (to indicate that the sentence is continued), and the beginning of the dialogue tag should never be capitalized as it's not the start of a new sentence.

Example of dialogue + dialogue tag: "'I'm okay,' she said." OR "She said, 'I'm okay.'"

Example of dialogue + action tag: "'I'm okay.' She forced a smile." OR "She forced a smile. 'I'm okay.'"

You also still had trouble with your spaces. You need to have spaces after any punctuation. I've pointed out several examples of this down below. You also slipped up in your tense, and I've also pointed them out. Make sure to keep your tense consistent. You had capitalization errors as well. Keep in mind that a specific person, place, thing, or beginning of a sentence should always be capitalized.

Lastly, you had comma mistakes. A comma is used to separate clauses, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject and a predicate (the action). For example, in the sentence, "She cried," the subject is "she" and the predicate (the action) is that she "cried." Therefore, this is an independent clause. In the sentence, "She cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses. The first clause I've already mentioned, and the second clause is "Billy ran away." The subject is "Billy," and the predicate is that he "ran away." These two clauses are joined with a conjunction (then), and therefore should be separated with a comma. Correction: "She cried, then Billy ran away." A dependent clause is the same as an independent clause; it has both a subject and a predicate. However, it is dependent on another clause, meaning it cannot be a sentence by itself. For example, the clause "I said," has a subject "I," and the predicate "said." However, it cannot be a sentence by itself because it doesn't make sense; it depends on the dialogue for the reader to understand. Dependent clauses should still be separated from other clauses and conjunctions. I also noticed that you don't use conjunctions. Instead, you list different clauses together, which is incorrect. Make sure to add conjunctions in your writing, and I've pointed out a few examples down below.

There were several times where I caught misspelled words, although not many. Still, I suggest thoroughly proof-reading and editing your chapters before posting on Wattpad. I've pointed out different examples in your chapter reviews.

Despite being a fanfiction, it wasn't too hard to understand the story plot, even if I had no context. I could see how you were gradually leading up to the plot with valid incidents and realizations, and I got a good look inside your characters' minds. However, I found that all of your characters were very similar in character, and it was hard to differentiate who was who. I suggest focusing on establishing different personalities, and along with that, try to describe the scenery around your characters. I never got any descriptions of where they were and what the places looked like.

Like I've mentioned above, I struggled to understand the differences between the characters. I liked how you established habits that they do, such as Tam tugging on his bangs. However, it wasn't enough to help me understand who was who. You gave very generic physical descriptions, such as hair color. This doesn't help me understand your character, and it's not like your readers are interested in your characters' hair color enough to remember. Instead, I suggest establishing unique physical traits, such as bushy eyebrows or a scarred cheek. That way, your readers will be interested and they would tend to remember that over a generic hair color.

I enjoyed your writing voice, but there were times when you awkwardly phrased something. I've made sure to point a few of them out, but many sentences could be tightened and shortened. I also suggest replacing weak verbs with stronger verbs. You had a repetition of using the word "scream," when there are so many other verbs out there. Try to strengthen your vocabulary and diction, and don't be afraid to add in a metaphor, simile, or some kind of sensory detail in your writing.

Your story flow was smooth and consistent, but I did see repetitions of the word "then" and there were times you awkwardly transitioned from one scene to another. There were some times where you rushed the pacing of the story, as though you didn't quite understand what technique to use to move on. I suggest looking at some of your favorite stories. How does the author transition from scene to scene, and what about the pacing of the story?

"'Stop!'I shouted, as the girl, Sophie appeared with five other elves." (p.1). Already, there are several things wrong with this sentence. You need a space between the end of the dialogue and beginning of the dialogue tag (this applies to your next paragraph as well with the dialogue). You have an unnecessary comma, as well as missing a comma. Correction: "'Stop!' I yelled as the girl, Sophie, appeared with five other elves."

"'I never said you could bring people here.'I said, trying my best not to scream at Sophie." (p.3). Again, you need a space here, and there are no exceptions to this rule. Along with that, "I said..." is a dialogue tag, which means it's a continuation of the dialogue sentence. By ending the dialogue with a period, you're saying that's the end of the sentence, when it really isn't. It should be replaced with a comma to indicate that the sentence continues. I also noticed that you wrote "Sophie" way too many times just in the first three paragraphs. You should replace her name with a proper pronoun, or it sounds awkward as her name is used too many times. Correction: "'I never said you could bring people here,' I said, trying my best not to scream at her."

"A dude with blond hair scrambled away from the shadows, 'Uh, forget that.'" (p.6). Since the dialogue has an action tag in front of it, they are two separate sentences. That means the comma should be replaced with a period. Correction: "A dude with blond hair scrambled away from the shadows. 'Uh, forget that.'"

"'It doesn't hurt,It just feels really cold.'Sophie said to the boy." (p.7). You need spaces here after the comma and after the dialogue mark. You also capitalized the word "it," which is incorrect. The word "it" shouldn't ever be capitalized because it isn't a contraction, meaning it isn't a combination of the word "I" and something else, such as "I've," which means "I have." You also have the wrong punctuation in your dialogue. Correction: "'It doesn't hurt, it just feels really cold,' Sophie said to the boy."

"'Now if I ever face him again, he'll see exactly how little I miss living in his glittering prison.'I said, gritting my teeth..." (p.11). You need a comma here after the word "now," as it's not part of the main clause. The first independent clause shown here has the subject "I" and the predicate "face him again," but the word "Now" isn't included. Therefore, it should be separated from the clause. You have the wrong punctuation at the end of the dialogue, and you need a space. Correction: "'Now, if I ever face him again, he'll see exactly how little I miss living in his glittering prison,' I said, gritting my teeth..."

"'Wow,' A guy that also had teal eyes breathed." (p.27). You don't need to capitalize "a," as it's not the start of a new sentence. Correction: "'Wow,' a guy who also had teal eyes breathed." I also replaced "that" with "who."

"My eye hurt even more, why?" (p.33). These two clauses shouldn't be in the same sentence. Suggestion: "My eye hurt even more. Why?"

"'I hope so.'my shadow fell over hers..." (p.57). The beginning of the action tag should be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. You also need a space. Correction: "'I hope so.' My shadow fell over hers..."

"... my pain in the eye that was slowly, subsiding." (p.62). You have an unnecessary comma here. Correction: "... my pain in the eye that was slowly subsiding."

In paragraph 1, I suggest writing out the full number "nine," or readers will see it as being unprofessional and lazy.

"Quan turned around and sighed,'Lihn, go to Atlantis alone.'" (p.6). The punctuation here should be a comma, not a period. The action tag is a separate sentence from the dialogue. (This applies to your next paragraph as well). Correction: "Quan turned around and sighed. 'Lihn, go to Atlantis alone.'" I also added a necessary space.

"She went into this shop which sold some food and it was called The Veg shop, I contemplated on going in, but decided against it in the end when I saw how crowded this shop was." (p.14). This sentence is abnormally long, and I suggest splitting it into several sentences. After all, these independent clauses shouldn't be joined together just for the sake of it, especially without a proper conjunction. Correction: "She went into this shop, which sold some food, and it was called The Veg shop. I contemplated on going in, but decided against it in the end when I saw how crowded this shop was." I also added a necessary comma.

"I groaned,'Yes, I got your pathfinder, take it, and leave me alone!" (p.33). You have the wrong punctuation, you need a space, and you separated an incomplete clause with a comma. I suggest removing the comma, or even better, turning it into its own sentence. Correction/Suggestion: "I groaned. 'Yes, I got your pathfinder. Take it and leave me alone!"

"Dam it!" (p.43). You have a misspelling here. Correction: "Damn it!"

"'My sister.'I replied." (p.50). You need a space, and you have the wrong punctuation after the dialogue. Correction: "'My sister,' I replied."

"Can you believe this Tam?" (p.2). You need a comma here, as the word "Tam" is separated from the main clause. Correction: "Can you believe this, Tam?"

"I sighed, 'I don't think...'" (p.3). Since "I sighed," is an action tag, it shouldn't be part of the dialogue sentence. Correction: "I sighed. 'I don't think...'"

"I said, tugging my bangs, the pain in my eye was gone, but somehow I felt different." (p.8). These are just clauses joined together without conjunctions. I suggest splitting these into several sentences, and if you join two or more clauses together and they're all independent, there should be conjunctions. Correction/Suggestion: "I said, tugging on my bangs. The pain in my eye was gone, but somehow I felt different."

"I only have silver eyes!'I shouted." (p.15). You need a space here after the dialogue. Correction: "I only have silver eyes!' I shouted."

"I had a pain in my eye earlier, kind of like sparks in my eyes." (p.18). You have a repetition here with the word "eye," and it's awkward to say that you had a pain in your eye. No one ever says that, and it makes more sense to phrase it as, "My eye hurt earlier." Suggestion: "My eye hurt earlier, kind of like sparks."

"'Come on, pour a drop of it in your eye.'she said" (p.23). You need a space, and the punctuation at the end of the dialogue is incorrect. Correction: "'Come on, pour a drop of it in your eye,' she said."

"Really, Really?" (p.28). You have unnecessary capitalization here. Never capitalize unless it's a specific person, place, or thing, or if it's the beginning of a new sentence. Correction: "Really, really?"

"I poured a drop into the eye that was teal..." (p.33). The way you phrased this is awkward, and could be tightened and shorted. Suggestion: "I poured a drop into the teal eye..."

"Lihn was an amazing Hydrokinetic, even I was amazed..." (p.5). I suggest adding a conjunction between these two independent clauses. Either that, or separate them into different sentences. Correction: "Lihn was an amazing Hydrokinetic, and even I was amazed..."

"Subject change Biana, Subject change. I thought." (p.6). You need a comma here, you have unnecessary capitalization, and you have the wrong punctuation at the end of the thought. Correction: "Subject change, Biana, subject change, I thought."

In paragraph 7, were you referring to Tam's sister, or Biana? If it was the latter, make sure to correct the paragraph back into first person, not third.

"Wait, why am I worrying about him now?" (p.9). Here, you slipped up your tense. Make sure to keep your tense consistent, as your story is set on past tense. Correction: "Wait, why was I worrying about him now?"

Paragraph 10 is abnormally long, and you left out necessary conjunctions. I suggest splitting this sentence into several smaller sentences and add conjunctions in between each independent clause.