If you think you know her, you certainly don't. She doesn't even know herself.

Violette Charvet could never be more of a paradox than she already is:

There is free-spirited, crazy, adventurous Violette her best friend and family knows.

Then there is quiet, shy, overly-nice Violette who always keeps herself locked away behind her walls that the kids from school know. That's if they ever notice her existence.

But Elijah Turner knows that this is not Violette. He knows she's way more than her walls. But breaking them down will never be easy, because-oh I forgot to mention-

She hates men.

I loved the creativity portrayed in the cover of your story! I can see that a lot of thought has been put into the title formatting and graphics used. It's tied with a feeling of abandonment and lightheartedness, which I'm not quite sure how I feel about yet. As long as you're comfortable with the way the cover looks and you believe it accurately represents your story's direction, I don't see a problem with it!

In English, your title translates to "The Sun, the Moon, and the Violettes." That doesn't really make sense to me. The word "les" is plural, meaning it's a definite article (the) that goes in front of a plural word. That would mean there is more than one Violette. Shouldn't the title be: "Le Soleil, La Lune, et La Violette"? ("la," because "Violette" is feminine). It translates to, "The Sun, the Moon, and Violette." I'm not sure if this is intentional or not that "Violettes" is plural; please let me know! I'm also confused as to why your title is in French; does it hold a specific meaning to the story?

I like the simplicity you weaved in your blurb. It was easy to read, clear to understand, and free of any grammatical/spelling errors. I got a good taste for your writing style. What I've gathered from your blurb is that Violette has different sides that she shows to different people (as everyone does), and Elijah wants to discover who she is beneath all these layers, but it'll be hard to do so because Violette hates men. This plot concept is rather vague and doesn't give away much information. Can you include a trigger action (the incident triggering the start of the story) as to why and what Elijah's motives are? Is there a deeper meaning to why Violette hates men? I didn't learn a lot about your story in your blurb, so make sure to add more to it.

I like that you dove straight into the story by portraying the relationships between your characters and their friendly banter. While it didn't start off with a bang, I could immediately see that you wrote your hook carefully, and it was free of any errors. There were still spots where you could add in some figurative language and more detail to the scene around your character, and I wasn't immediately pulled into your story. If you ever decide to rewrite your hook, I suggest focusing on feeding your audience the little details, and paint the mood of the story as vividly as you can. If you can't start off the story with someone dying or something other dramatic, you should probably make it as beautiful or as intriguing as you can. It's' the only way you can draw in your readers.

The most common mistake I found was your comma usage. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence. In future writing, I suggest looking over what you wrote and asking yourself whether you need a comma or not. There were times where you also used too many commas, and a better alternative would've been to simply end the sentence and start a new one. I've pointed out several examples of these in your chapter review.

There were also your capitalization and punctuation errors. Many writers confuse this rule, so I'll do my best to explain it well. If there is a dialogue tag (she said, he yelled, they cried out, etc) after the dialogue, it is part of the sentence. If you think about it, it doesn't make sense for "she said" to be a sentence by itself. That means the dialogue should end in a comma (to indicate that the sentence isn't over yet) and the start of the dialogue shouldn't be capitalized (as it's not the start of a new sentence). You seem to have this down, but the same rule does not apply to action tags. An action tag is basically an action coming after the dialogue (such as he grinned, she frowned, they ran away, etc). Action tags are not part of the dialogue sentence, they are sentences on their own. That means the dialogue should end in a period (to signify the end of the sentence), and the start of the action tag should be capitalized (as it's the start of a new sentence). An example of this is: "'You're totally right.' He grinned."

There were also minor spots where you slipped up in your tense and forgot to end your sentence with proper punctuation. I've pointed out these spots, but be on the lookout for these when proof-reading or editing your writing in the near future.

I was impressed by the lack of spelling errors I found! It's obvious that you took the time to edit your work and put forward your best rough draft to the world. Well done!

I couldn't get a lot out of the first chapter (obviously), but I got a vague idea of your plot. However, there are so many writers on Wattpad who take this approach, so what's different about your plot? What twists and layers can you add? How many sides can you add to each character, and how is each setting different from the one before? Something I suggest you do is to reread your favorite stories, take note of the way the author approaches the story, and ask yourself what you would do differently. Then, you can apply these ideas you get into your own story.

I definitely got the vibe for each character. Especially with Violette, I could see many sides of her you showed just with this one chapter. Despite the lack of physical descriptions, I got a clear visual of what she looks like, and I got an idea of Elijah's character by being in his head. I loved that you add a touch of insecurity and confidence in what he wants to Elijah, making him relatable and realistic.

For the most part, I enjoyed your writing style! It's unique from others, and I can see the careful approach you took. However, I think your approach is too careful. I noticed that the verbs you used were very robotic and emotionless. Try to look for stronger verbs, and it's okay to shorten up your sentence by saying "it's" rather than "it is." Writing is the fun part; don't be afraid to write whatever comes to mind. You can always go back and edit it later, but in the moment, just let your imagination roam free. I guarantee that your readers will be able to tell the difference, and they enjoy the reading experience more, being able to feel your passion in your writing.

While I appreciated that you only briefly mentioned the tiny details and focused on the more important scenes, I noticed that you took note of every single detail, as though writing in a diary. You didn't have any time skips. It's okay to end a scene and start a new one in a bizarre moment, as long as you're capable of tying the two together and making it sound smooth and seamless. If you look at other writers, try to see how they transition their scenes. What do you like about their story flow, and what would you do differently?

"Guys you need to invite me to the wedding!" (p.3). You're missing a comma here, as these are two different clauses. Correction: "Guys, you need to invite me to the wedding!"

"Yeah and you need to invite us to your and Cindy's wedding!" (p.4). I suggest replacing "your" with "you," and you need a comma as well. Correction: "Yeah, and you need to invite us to you and Cindy's wedding!"

"... Cindy from English." (p.6). Shouldn't it be, "... Cindy from England"?

"'Shit!' I mutter under my breath, 'What the hell is wrong with you!'" (p.11). This is one whole sentence, and you have unnecessary capitalization here. Along with that, since it's phrased as a question, there should be a question mark at the end. Correction: "'Shit!' I mutter under my breath, 'what the hell is wrong with you?!'"

"'Okay but you're cleaning this up. Mom is going to kill us if she sees the ruined carpet,' my voice fumes with anger and for a moment I expect flames to exit my mouth." (p.13). You're missing a comma here, and these should be two different sentences. The comma at the end of the dialogue should be replaced with a period, and "my" should be capitalized (as it's the start of a new sentence). You could shorten this as well to say "I fume with anger" as it's stronger. I've noticed that you use weak verbs in a rather robotic way. The word "exit" doesn't provoke any emotion; what verb can you replace it with that's stronger? Correction: "'Okay, but you're cleaning this up. Mom is going to kill us if she sees the ruined carpet.' I fume with anger and for a moment, I expect flames to exit my mouth."

"'Ha! You wish. It's not me who ruined it,' she turns around, 'Good night, Elijah.'" (p.14). The clause "she turns around" is a sentence by itself, not a continuation of the dialogue. "She" should be capitalized, the first dialogue should end in a period, and the sentence "she turns around" should end in a period as well. Correction: "'Ha! You wish. It's not me who ruined it.' She turns around. 'Good night, Elijah.'"

Paragraph 16 is one whole sentence, an abnormally long one. I suggest shortening it down, tightening it in any way you can, and replace some commas with periods instead. That way, it'll be easier to comprehend for your readers.

"I mean that's some progress we have here." (p.19). You're missing a comma here. Correction: "I mean, that's some progress we have here."

"Why can't I just celebrate." (p.20). Since this is phrased as a question, I suggest replacing the period with a question mark. Correction: "Why can't I just celebrate?"

"Was that a hallucination?" (p.23). You have a tense slip-up here. Keep in mind that you're writing in present tense, so make sure to stay that way. Correction: "Is that a hallucination?"

You forgot to add punctuation at the end of paragraph 24.

Paragraph 27 is also an extremely long sentence, so make sure to break down these clauses into several sentences.

"Open in the car." (p.38). Shouldn't this sentence be, "Open the car"?

Paragraph 41 is also a long sentence. Instead of stringing along endless clauses, end and start new sentences. That way, it'll be easier for your audience to read.

"She doesn't approve but whatever." (p.48). You need a comma here. Correction: "She doesn't approve, but whatever."

I enjoyed your well structured sentences and clean writing! I was impressed with the time you took with writing this chapter. There were still some grammatical errors, and there were times your writing was passive and lacking emotion, but with practice, I'm sure your writing will sweep many readers off their feet!