Clara Spark is an ordinary high school vampire. But she is a vampire who doesn't suck blood and have powerful capabilities like any other. She finally enrolls into a vampire high school where her best friend, Nathan, studies to find her soulmate shows up making her life complicated.

Being the mere human makes her vulnerable. After her parents constant moving due to their jobs, they settled in London as her scholarship grants her a chance to live her high school life as a true vampire. Also, an opportunity to force vampire traits to resurface.

The whole new experience awes her and even more when she meets her other half, the manipulative and sly Prince. Her intoxicating blood attracts him, and he wants to claim her right away. Torn by the intimate friendship, her soulmate and her stuck condition of being half human half vampire, she soon discovers that her true love is the only way to make her whole as a true vampire. Including being the queen she is destined to be.

I love the quality of the photo used here, and the hint of red incorporated in the cover. The author's name and presented title is well placed as well, so a solid 10/10!

While your title does represent what your story is about, it's also generic, cliche, and seems more like a list of words describing your story. There are a lot of vampire stories out there that incorporate queens and prophecies, so your title is vague and shows only the shallow surface of your story. I suggest changing the title and finding a better representation of your story. It can be a symbolic object in your story, or a significant phrase repetitive throughout your writing. It could also be a concept; anything that uniquely represents your story.

To be honest, I had a lot of trouble deciphering your blurb. Not only was it long and winding, but also confusing with a lot of unnecessary information. For example, the sentence, "She finally enrolls into a vampire high school where her best friend, Nathan, studies to find her soulmate shows up making her life complicated" is confusing and doesn't make any sense. Do you mean she enrolled into high school with her friend? Or did her friend Nathan discover that her soulmate showed up? I'm going to assume that it's the former, and a better reconstruction of your sentence would be, "She finally enrolls into a vampire high school, only to find her soulmate." It's short, simple, and concise. Potential readers don't need to learn about Nathan just yet. Along with that, you wrote that she was a vampire who couldn't suck blood, but then later on mentioned her as a human. So, is she a vampire with dormant powers, or a human? Try to choose one to not confuse your readers. If you read through your blurb carefully, you'll find that you're missing a lot of filler words that add to the confusion, and plenty of excess information not relevant to the plot. What parts can you remove and does your blurb tie up your actual plot?

You had the right idea in starting your story, but right off I caught several grammatical errors. Some of your sentence structures were confusing as well, and I'll point them out to you in your chapter reviews.

There were many grammar errors I've caught, so much so that some of your sentences were incomprehensible. The most concerning issue is your conjugations. I often found that you inaccurately conjugated words into the context of sentences. I've pointed some out in your chapter review. I've also noticed that you confused the punctuation and capitalization errors in your writing. Keep in mind that if a dialogue tag (she said/he said) accompanies the dialogue, it is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. This means the dialogue should end in a comma, and the dialogue tag should never be capitalized, as it isn't the start of a new sentence. If an action tag (she sighed, he grinned, they turned away, etc) accompanies your dialogue, it is a separate sentence from the dialogue. The dialogue should end in a period, and the action tag is always capitalized (the opposite of dialogue tags). In summary, if there is a dialogue tag after the dialogue, the dialogue can end in anything except a period, and the dialogue tag should not be capitalized. If there is an action tag after the dialogue, the dialogue can end in anything except a comma, and the action tag should be capitalized.

You also struggled with your tenses and commas. Your story is set in past tense, but you often slip-up and write in present tense. I've pointed out a few in your chapter reviews, but it's up to you to find the rest and correct them. Along with that, keep in mind that commas are used to separate different topics within a sentence. You can do more research of this on your own, but keep that in mind for future writing.

Unfortunately, I've caught many typos within your chapters, and you were often missing necessary filler words. It was to the point where your sentences became grammatically inaccurate and hard to understand. When writing, try to slow down the pacing. Stop and think about what you're writing. Does it make sense? Do your diction choices make sense and did you misspell anything? Along with that, make sure to thoroughly edit/proof-read your chapters before uploading on Wattpad. That way, you can avoid 90% of these mistakes.

I have to admit that I've seen many vampire love triangles on Wattpad, typically centered around a vampire high school. Your story plot is very similar to thousands of other vampire stories. This isn't much of a problem, as there is no such thing as a completely original idea. Instead, I prompt you to think about how to make your story different. For example, the idea that your protagonist hasn't developed the vampire skills yet is a unique concept, one that I encourage you to further explore. What other unique ideas can you add? Are there other supernatural creatures in this world? Have you ever thought about reversing the process and making a vampire turn human? Try to expand your thinking and incorporate different topics into making the topic more creative and original.

I didn't get a strong feel for your protagonist or your side characters. There were a lot of times where you had generic phrases to describe how they were feeling, and you could have gone more into depth of their internal struggles. That way, I would've been able to bond more with your characters and sympathize with them. Along with that, I didn't get a clear representation of her romantic interests. I wasn't entirely sure if she was interested in her best friend or not. I understood she was jealous, but I wasn't sure if she was bordering on that line or completely over it. How can you clearly depict your character so readers know exactly what's going on?

I struggled to see your voice through your writing, although I suspect it's mainly because of your grammar issues. I find that your writing style is very passive and laid back. While that can be a good thing, there are times where it might be well to let your emotions drive your writing. Try to get all fired up over a topic, and experiment with your diction and vocabulary. That way, you can express yourself as a person while giving your readers the best reading experience.

For the most part, I had no trouble with your story flow. It was smooth, and I could easily see you building up for each new scene. I caught some repetition in your transitions here and there, but those can easily be fixed and replaced when editing your story.

"The late blooming Vampire in her 17's who's too energetic that her enhanced senses or gifts developed latter than any ordinary Vampires." (p.1). This sentence is long, confusing, and missing commas and misusing words. I suggest you write out numbers and restructure this sentence. You have incorrectly capitalized words. Along with that, "latter" should be replaced with "later" as "latter" refers to two options. Correction/Suggestion: "The late, blooming vampire in her seventeens was so energetic, her enhanced senses developed later than any ordinary vampire."

"There may be many Vampire royalties, including Nathan's father, the Aeromand Kingdom." (p.4). You have an unnecessary comma here. Along with that, there either should or shouldn't be a kingdom. Correction: "There were many vampire royalties including Nathan's father, of the Aeromand Kingdom." Keep in mind that "vampires" shouldn't be capitalized because you aren't referring to a specific person. The word "humans" wouldn't be capitalized; the same applies to "vampires."

Most of the information here is info-dumping. An info-dumping is informing your readers of background information that can be boring or feel like a history lesson. At this stage of the story, your readers won't care about the history just yet. I suggest saving it for when it's really important.

"As a Vampire Guardian, my parents pledged to protect the King no matter the circumstances." (p.6). You have a missing comma here. Correction: "As a Vampire Guardian, my parents pledged to protect the King, no matter the circumstances."

"Only the King and several royalties would recognized and acknowledged their existence." (p.7). You've improperly conjugated two words into this sentence. Correction: "Only the King and several royalties would recognize and acknowledge their existence."

"Smiles and laughter glowed on their faces are hard to missed." (p.8). You've conjugated several words wrong in this sentence. Correction: "The smiles and laughter glowing on their faces were hard to miss."

"It was unfortunate when life announces 'It's not your time yet.'" (p.12). You have a tense slip-up here. You're also missing a comma. Correction: "It was unfortunate when life announced, 'It's not your time yet.'"

"The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee lure me into a bustling coffee shop." (p.13). You have bad grammar in this sentence with inaccurately conjugated words. Correction: "The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee lured me into a bustling coffee shop."

If you're going to write "Ms." remember to capitalize the "M," and use a period at the end. However, in paragraph 15, the person isn't asking for a specific name, so it should be translated and written out as "Miss."

"I can get used to this forever." (p.19). You have a tense slip-up here. Keep in mind that your story is set in past tense. Correction: "I could get used to this forever."

In paragraph 23, "GPS" should be capitalized as it's an acronym.

"Nathan was always there for me, although I had my suspicion on him being my mom's spy." (p.31). Here, I suggest you replace "on" with "of."

"But his eyes laced with concern, his smile doesn't reached his ears." (p.42). You improperly conjugated words here, and you're missing filler words/conjunctions. Correction: "But his eyes were laced with concern, and his smile didn't reach his ears."

"They aren't home and calling for them to confirmed so can felt lonely at times." (p.50). You have improperly conjugated words here, messed up your tenses, and misused filler words. This is frequent throughout your chapter, so make sure to look out for these mistakes. Correction: "They weren't home and calling for them to confirm felt so lonely at times."

"I dozed off when a buzz sounded and a notification popped up." (p.last). You're missing a comma here. Correction: "I dozed off, when a buzz sounded and a notification popped up."

"'I'm going to be a fully developed vampire today.' I chant to myself." (p.2). These are two parts of one whole sentence, so the period should be replaced with a comma to indicate that the sentence continues. Correction: "'I'm going to be a fully developed vampire today,' I chant to myself."

"I look in the mirror which reflects my already grooming and ready self and I stretch my mouth into a wide toothy smile." (p.3). You're missing commas here, and this sentence can be restructured. Correction: "I look in the mirror and I stretch my mouth into a wide, toothy smile."

"No matter how big the spark of hope encourages itself every day. I admit I felt dull overtime." (p.6). I suggest melding these into one whole sentence as they are a continuation of each other, and you have tense slip-ups. Correction: "No matter how big the spark of hope encourages itself every day, I admit I feel dull sometimes."

"My dad is sitting at the dining table chatting with my mom." (p.12). You're missing a comma here. Correction: "My dad is sitting at the dining table, chatting with my mom."

"'Morning, mom, dad.' I chime and walk toward the table." (p.13). The words "mom" and "dad" should be capitalized, just like capitalizing a name; as you're referring to specific people. You're also missing a comma, and the dialogue tag should be a continuation of the dialogue sentence. Correction: "'Morning, Mom, Dad,' I chime, and walk toward the table."

In paragraph 21, you haven't properly conjugated the word "envy." Correction: "I can't help feeling envious."

"Dad rises from his seat and in a flash I can hear him outside, revving the car engine to heat the machine before we hit the road." (p.28). You have unnecessary information here, and you're missing a comma. Correction: "Dad rises from his seat and in a flash, I can hear him outside, revving the car engine."

"'Break a leg, girl' my dad teases me playfully." (p.38). You're missing proper punctuation at the end of this sentence. Correction: "'Break a leg, girl,' my dad teases me playfully."

"I charge toward him, hoping like a hopeless kangaroo catching air in every bounce." (p.50). You have a spelling error here, and you have unnecessary information. Correction: "I charge toward him, hopping like a hopeless kangaroo."

In paragraph 57, I suggest you write out your numbers.

"Lust and desires swept over their face vividly." (p.62). You have tense slip-ups here, and you mixed up your plural and singular words. Correction: "Lust and desire sweeps over their faces vividly."

"Who knows there would be a vampire novel lying around." (p.67). You're missing a comma here. I also suggest you replace "would" with "could." Correction: "Who knows, there could be a vampire novel lying around."

"I am about to pick a book from the top section when chills strain my neck up to locked eyes with someone who was staring at me intensely two racks across this rack." (p.70). You're missing commas here. This is a run-on sentence, and there is some repetition. Correction: "I am about to pick a book from the top section, when chills strain my neck. I look up to lock eyes with someone two racks across from me." I removed a piece of information here because you've already written that they "locked eyes" which should indicate intense staring.

"'Thank you.' I stutter." (p.73). This should be one whole sentence. Correction: "'Thank you,' I stutter."

I like how you've weaved in conflict and potential love interests into the plot! There is definitely a lot of work that needs to be done in terms of your grammar and spelling errors, but if you thoroughly edit/proof-read your chapters, it'll clear up a lot of understanding and make your writing easier to read.