𝕬 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍'𝖘 𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖗𝖊𝖉𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖘 𝖏𝖚𝖘𝖙 𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊.

Oh no we can't slow down, we can't hold back.

Though you know we wish we could.

Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked.

Until we close our eyes for good.

***

(9/10) Honestly, it's gorgeous. It's intriguing and very professional looking. It also draws in the right audience, and it makes me want to read more. There also could be some improvements made, but only if you deem it absolutely necessary, considering it's already beautiful the way it is. I recommend using PicsArt to add filters or Phonto to play around the font.

: (10/10) I was extremely pleased with your title. Not only is it unique, but almost even has its own personality that does a wonderful job at pulling in new readers and setting it aside from the rest of the cliche books on Wattpad.

: (3/5) It has a song/lyrical rhythm that I think is catchy and short, and is easily better than the average blurb. However, while it's definitely mysterious, it doesn't pull me in. Remember to simplify things for your readers. Maybe throw in a little twist that might surprise your readers and make them want to click on your book just to find out why and how that is so. Your blurb leaves me thinking—yet so does a lot of books on Wattpad. Your blurb is great—but you could make it better than great. I have no doubt that you can achieve this; your writing skills are above average and with a little work, you can definitely make your blurb shine.

(3/5) While your hook is grammatically accurate and loaded with sensory detail and beautiful descriptions, it doesn't really make me want to read more. Your writing is already beautiful—and starting out with why the cat was where she was, and what she was doing. Make your readers eager to know what her next move will be. Don't be afraid to mix in some personal emotions. Maybe she's feeling a little bored and lazy today, or filled to the brim with the thirst for revenge. Make your readers sympathize or root for her from your very first sentence.

(8/10) Upon reading your first chapter, I was unable to find many grammar mistakes. There were a few errors that were irregular (typos that I'll address later) but overall, your writing was extremely consistent and just gorgeous. There were a few places where commas were/were not used when they should/should not have been (again, I'll address that later). One thing I want to point out is sentence fragments. A sentence needs to have a subject and a verb. One example of an incorrect sentence would be: "I didn't go to school the other day. Because I was sick," while a correct sentence would be: "I didn't go to school the other day, because I was sick." If you look carefully through your chapters, you may find a few sentence fragments.

(18/20) Just from reading only the first chapter, I can see that your plot is unique and original. There have been no overused tropes or cliches incorporated into your story, which I just think is fabulous! Don't be afraid to be innovative. You can find crazy ideas and make them work for your stories. After all, readers love a good plot twist.

(10/10) I can definitely see your characters through your descriptions. It can be hard to speak through your characters and make them come alive with their own voices, which you've succeeded in. I can sense a badass/cold vibe from Grimalkin, and James is definitely the more worried and timid of the two. I can also see that there's room for your characters to develop throughout your stories, and what I mean by this is that there are places where your characters may need help in the personality department. This is good, because readers need characters to relate with, not perfect, beautiful main characters. Just to get you thinking some more as you continue writing, maybe Jame's fears will get in his way of achieving his goals. Maybe Grimalkin cannot sense and show compassion for others—something she can learn to hone as a skill along the way.

(16/20) Your writing style is unique and identifiable. From reading the first chapter, I can conclude that your vocabulary is more advanced, and you tend to have long prose. It's gorgeous and vivid. However, some of your readers might skip the details or get bored quickly. This isn't because of how you're writing, but because of what you're writing. Try to keep the descriptions to a minimum. Unless you want your character to get a feel for the setting or an important detail, try not to go overboard. Along with that, I do sometimes get the sense that your descriptions can get a little... strained. I can tell you know what you're writing about, but you're mainly focusing on producing quality work. A tip is to focus less on the quality of your words, and more of your story. Always be thinking: How can you make this better? How can you make this more interesting? What is the best way to portray this scene?

: (5/5) Your paragraphs and sentences flow together very nicely in transitioning to the next scene or the important reveals of the story. I can clearly see the buildup from the interaction of your characters. Of course, there is always room for improvement with writers, and I suspect that considering you are already advanced from other writers, you'll figure out on your own how to enhance your characters and writing.

So, now that the grading/feedback is over, let's turn the focus to the specific details of Chapter 1.

***

The hook is of course beautiful. Remember to engage the reader. Add some tension to have your readers sitting on the edge of their seats.

. "Grimalkin tilted her head like a curious animal and wickedly smiled her whiskers twitching." (paragraph 1). There should be a comma in between "smiled" and "her" because while it's not a compound sentence—when two similar ideas are presented with a conjunction (and, or, but, etc) it still presents two ideas as one and strings on a last idea ("her whiskers twitching."). There should be a comma to indicate that these two ideas are related. "Grimalkin tilted her head like a curious cat and wickedly smiled, her whiskers twitching." I can already see a lot of this mistake throughout your writing, so make sure to go thoroughly throughout your chapter and add commas where they are needed. Here's another one to get a head start: "She purred liking the look of this one." (paragraph 2). Can you guess where the comma should be?

There are beautiful descriptions in your writing. However, it does make your paragraphs a little long. Some of your readers might skip over the important details simply because of the length. Try separating your descriptions as several paragraphs to engage your reader more. All your descriptions can be introduced as a new topic, and therefore a new paragraph.

If your character is having thoughts or flashbacks, it's wise to use italics to make the words easy on the eyes of the reader and not make things confusing. For example, if James' head is telling him to run, it should be italicized. "His brain screamed at him, run..." (paragraph 4). And did you notice that I added a comma there? Remember, his brain screaming at him is one topic, and what his brain tells him is another and therefore should be separated with a comma. And, if thoughts are italicized, there is no need to add dialogues. Why? Because James' brain isn't speaking to him out loud, it's all in his head. Therefore, the dialogue marks are unnecessary. Your readers will understand what it means when you italicize it, I promise. Another example: "It's possible, Grimalkin pondered." (paragraph 13).

I'm not sure if you're aware of this mistake and forgot about it or if it's just an irregularity, but take a close look at this sentence, "'Where is he? Where is Tom?' She demanded." (paragraph 15). The "she demanded" is a dialogue tag. It's not a sentence by itself, it's part of the dialogue sentence. Therefore, the "s" in "she" should not be capitalized. This happens frequently. You do seem to do a good job ending your dialogues with commas instead of periods. Periods can be used for dialogues, but only if there is no dialogue tag afterwards. "'I love chocolate.' I grinned up at him." It's okay to use a period here because the next sentence is not part of the dialogue, it isn't describing the dialogue. However, "'I love chocolate.' I said." is inaccurate because "I said" is still part of the sentence. "I said" cannot be a sentence by itself. This is hard to explain, so I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say here. This applies to your entire chapter, so make sure to search thoroughly through your dialogues for those kinds of mistakes.

Try to refrain from using a lot of exclamation marks unless it's a startling moment. While exclamation marks can express grief or anger, it doesn't look as professional to a reader compared to an author using italics to emphasize their words instead and therefore emphasizing their meaning and their emotions.

"'... Follow me,' she said and took off running into the night, 'I know the quickest way throughout the woods.'" (paragraph 17). I'm going to correct every mistake here: "'Follow me,' she said, and took off running into the night. 'I know the quickest way throughout the woods.'" Here, I've removed an unnecessary comma between the word "night" and "'I'" because it's introducing a new topic and should end in a period. Along with that, I've added a period between "said" and "and." If you can take this correction and apply it to the rest of your chapter, many irregularities and mistakes will be fixed.

I've noticed a few tense slip-ups. Example: "... most enchanting feature was her green eyes, that he can't look away from." (paragraph 3). From what I've read, your story is set in past tense. However, there have been a few instances where you've slipped up and used present tense. Correction: "... most enchanting features were her green eyes that he couldn't look away from." Along with that, I've removed an unnecessary comma and fixed a misplaced modifier. Check thoroughly throughout your work in case this happened again.

In paragraph five, there's been some kind of typo. "Spook,'s" Is the comma accidental? It should be "Spook's."

I love the ending to the chapter. It makes me want to read more, and can be considered a suspenseful cliffhanger.

And... that's a wrap on this review! I hope you didn't mind the brief wait. As you can probably tell, I've been really combing through your chapter and sitting for hours typing all of this up. I sincerely hope that some corrections I've offered were helpful or new to you, and that you were able to understand my critique. I want to point out that your writing skills are clearly advanced, and although you didn't have to, I'm glad you took the time to get a few suggestions to enhance your book. My favorite kinds of writers are those who are always open to further perfect their works. Thank you for offering me this chance to help with your story and keep writing!