《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Smile For Me
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Smile For Me
Shybookworm88
: Zombie, Apocalypse , Survival? ,Horror?, Thriller?
: I like it since it's pose to be creepy. The title could be a little bigger. Also in the corner I see some words...what is that??
: Short and simple. This can make it or brake it. So far I like it.
This should be where your is summary. You can still keep this page as a dedication page.
: Good job. Very descriptive, but what did the zombie look like? Are they burned like CODZ or pale like Warm Bodies or unique? I didn't I have to reread things. I did find one spot that needs edit; I commented on it. Good job wrapping in what what happened to the family. I really like that this doesn't start with "It all started with a science experiment gone wrong..."
"However I didn't expect for someone to come up behind me." I suggest you take this out. It takes away the thrill. You can move your words around for suspense. "WORDS" said a (describe the voice) voice behind me.
Add some of the dislike from chap into two. Also it felt like the strangers voice changed. I feel he would say Signora not ma'ma. Cause in chap 2 I was getting the feeling he has a rough accent.
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Every chapter is very good. Not too long or too short. The descriptions are good; some could be added. I'm not sure if I've ever read a zombie story on Wattpad. This might be my first and it's really good. Keep writing. I suffer from the same thing were I describe certain things and then it begins to lack. You've got a good story
I actually might read on (if I find the time 😭)
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