《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Smile For Me
Advertisement
Smile For Me
Shybookworm88
: Zombie, Apocalypse , Survival? ,Horror?, Thriller?
: I like it since it's pose to be creepy. The title could be a little bigger. Also in the corner I see some words...what is that??
: Short and simple. This can make it or brake it. So far I like it.
This should be where your is summary. You can still keep this page as a dedication page.
: Good job. Very descriptive, but what did the zombie look like? Are they burned like CODZ or pale like Warm Bodies or unique? I didn't I have to reread things. I did find one spot that needs edit; I commented on it. Good job wrapping in what what happened to the family. I really like that this doesn't start with "It all started with a science experiment gone wrong..."
"However I didn't expect for someone to come up behind me." I suggest you take this out. It takes away the thrill. You can move your words around for suspense. "WORDS" said a (describe the voice) voice behind me.
Add some of the dislike from chap into two. Also it felt like the strangers voice changed. I feel he would say Signora not ma'ma. Cause in chap 2 I was getting the feeling he has a rough accent.
💙💙💙
Every chapter is very good. Not too long or too short. The descriptions are good; some could be added. I'm not sure if I've ever read a zombie story on Wattpad. This might be my first and it's really good. Keep writing. I suffer from the same thing were I describe certain things and then it begins to lack. You've got a good story
I actually might read on (if I find the time 😭)
💙💙💙💙💙
Advertisement
- In Serial164 Chapters
Nora and the Search for Friendship
Ellie is excited to go to university and finally make friends after a difficult time at high school. However, she’s a little worried when the book club has her read a really awful historical-fantasy story about what sixteen-year-old Eleanor gets up to at a “prep school” for the children of nobility. Still, she’s hopeful since the other girls seem nice, and they surely want to make fun of the story, so she’s in high spirits on her way to the meeting. Then she dies. Eleanor de Kent, beloved second daughter of a duke, slowly comes to terms with her memories of her past life as Ellie—including that she’s apparently the lead character from that book. Her childhood has its ups and downs, and loneliness seems to be inescapable. Now sixteen years old and attending the very school from the book Ellie had read, can she finally escape her fate and make friends?
8 68 - In Serial22 Chapters
The non-adventures of a Dungeon Core
Follow along on the journey of a newborn dungeon core as it tries to make sense of the world.
8 115 - In Serial30 Chapters
Other World Perfection
Astolfo is a simple child with a fractured soul in a world of magic and mysteries. Plagued with memories that are not his own and a premonition of great dangers, Astolfo navigates through life in pursuit of perfection, one day at a time Updates: Mondays and Fridays
8 227 - In Serial56 Chapters
The Adventures of Hood: Part 1 - The Book of Portals
Hood, a magical protege, gets wind of the location of an ancient tome of magic - The Book of Portals by Albo Pomegranite. After months of studying ancient texts, Hood believes he has traced the book's location to the Library of Aspartemane in the eastern city of Kera'bur. Setting out with his friend Masqued Madeleine and picking up a rag tag assortment of characters along the way, Hood's simple attempt to visit the library and retrieve the book turns into a quest of epic proportions.
8 184 - In Serial9 Chapters
Guild Management with My Cute Imouto
With the death of our parents, he had to work day and night just to put food on the table.Dropping out of college... famished... tired.Life had always been hard on him. As if that wasn't enough suddenly monsters started pouring out of entities called 'dungeons', endangering his everyday lives.Now if there are 'monsters' and 'dungeons', a 'guild' only follows doesn't it? Aiden is an everyday unnoticed hunter who worked in a dungeon. Like a pebble by the side of the road most people didn't even notice his existence. He worked hard so that he could put food onto his table and pay his sister's tuition fees the cause being both of them had lost their parents at an early age. He had strived hard and raised his sister as if she was the only thing he cared about in the world. But his life takes an unnecessary turn of events with his little sister Yuna, at the very root of it. Give it a shot and let me know what you think. My primary focus in this story would be the characters and the complex emotions they share between them in a seemingly magical world one can only imagine in their fantasies. The plot would mainly revolve around the world progressing for the end game and also the characters.
8 108 - In Serial49 Chapters
He's My BadBoy
Talia Ramsay and Ryder Smith always hated each other. Most people in their school would call them enemy's, some wouldn't go that far. Everyone found their pranks and the snarky comments that came along with them amusing. With almost every rumour involving the two of them, a lot of people questioned if it was really hate these two felt for each other After all the line between love and hate is thinAnd sometimes lines were made to be crossed#2 featured - 03/03/20#1 popular - 16/03/20#1 school - 10/04/20
8 152

