《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: thunderstuck (TLOU.)
Advertisement
thunderstruck (TLOU.)
llimerence
Apocalypse, girl x girl, love, zombie
I like it. It says the main character is bold and it's a girl.
OMG, the cast. I really like your summary. It's nice and sweet and straight to the point.
: What is a loo roll? In the second paragraph you mention 'he', but who is he? What is plait? Explain why Jae was teased. I know the GIFs show us, but these are keen in a story.
Good, but what does everything look like? Does Jae have black hair? Blonde hair?
4 💙💙💙💙
This story has potential. Will I read on? No. I'm not keen on stories about apocalypse and girlxgirl.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial35 Chapters
The Ancient Crystal
The story about a family's struggle to ensure that, above all else, their son escapes from the mines where he was born into slavery. Follow Alistar as he struggles through terror and tragedy, embarking on a road to discover himself and his heritage. *The first book is now available on Amazon, and is enrolled in the KDP program (so unfortunately, I can only keep 10% of the first book on RR). Do show your support and pick up a copy, I would greatly appreciate it!
8 255 - In Serial43 Chapters
The Jamaican Savage and Ratched kinda Love
Single mother Cassidy has been through a whole lot and is finally getting her life together, dream job, her own growing company, husband( or so she thought), when walls came tumbling down and the type she least expected to be with, was the one who picked up and mend the broken pieces of her world.
8 131 - In Serial26 Chapters
The Sister In The Forest(Cancelled)
What do you do when you have a missing sister? Cry for the eternity of your lifeline and do nothing until you die? Or do you take a perfect opportunity of your childhood to explain the explanations of why your sister went missing in the first place? Follow a 16-year-old boy named Aaron Duncan, he is a muted teenager by choice who had lost his sister at a young age. He was five when his sister, Althea, went missing with no explanation. Aaron couldn't do anything, he couldn't prescribe a search until he was sixteen. So, he made it a struggle for the world and went mute, he refused to speak a single word until he finds his sister. And he finally got a chance, his school invited him to a multi-school camp trip to The Kielder Forest, a very recognisable memory for Aaron as it was that forest he and his sister made memories in. No chances were wasted, he agreed and went on the camp trip with his chubby best friend, George. When he arrived at the forest, he felt off. Aaron knew something was entirely eerie about the forest that never felt this way ever before, but he was the only one who felt this way so he shrugged it off and went into the forest with multiple different schools from all around the UK. Meeting Lia Ann kept Aaron thinking about his sister as they had similar personalities. One night, adrenaline was high for Aaron and he decided to go to the cave he made memories with deep in the forest. Everything was intact and his friendship with Lia grew when they both encountered each other. So, normally, Aaron thought nothing of it and continued going back to the cave until one day he was ambushed by a liquid entity that wasn't human. It almost murdered him before he was saved by an unexpected guest, his sister, in pure flesh, was finally in front of him. Aaron wanted to know everything, he asked everything until one question did it for Aaron as he found himself passed out from the help of Althea's distant eyes and woke up in his tent by George. "Was it a dream?" He asks himself dreadfully. A question that will have him explore his character, his purpose, his beliefs, his trust, and his friendships. Will a dream break Aaron down and destroy him? Or will it build him up to be even stronger to find out how his sister went missing? And possibly, what or who may have murdered her?
8 102 - In Serial27 Chapters
Unstable World
Being trapped in another world could be a dream come true. Being trapped in an unstable world where everything changes from one life to the next is an adventure. Garrett Bates learns the hard way what it means to be a hero, even when one fails over and over and over and over. Garrett Bates was an average high schooler until he died. Now, brought before a strange being, he is told he can try to be a Hero for a new World, but with every death, the World changes. Can Garrett find a way to save a world that's different each time he tries? New Chapters every MWF at 12:05 PM EST. Can also be read here at: https://www.webnovel.com/book/unstable-world_17722995705536205
8 175 - In Serial14 Chapters
The King Of Sloth
What happens when you take an extraordinarily lazy and indifferent prince that doesn't do anything else other than sleep and put him in a world of swords and magic? A world where the strong rule over the weak and crush all who say otherwise? A world where monsters of all kinds roam free? He sleeps obviously!
8 91 - In Serial62 Chapters
fanboi | taekook
Taehyung is a "fanboi" of BTS, because "fanboy" is too mainstreamthis is cringy aka don't read it 『Completed』
8 202
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
