Things We Lost

Madisueb

Fantasy, Gods

Interesting. I like the colors and how it seems to flow.

Interesting. I really like it.

"Although you day wasn't a fourth the size of mine!" Is Luke basically trying to say was bigger?

"He was a quick thinker and sharp and skilled with his words." I would re-say this differently; make it flow better.

What do you mean by Mike took over the stand?

I felt like you explained a lot for when he was heading back to the mansion, but not while inside the mansion. Also, what does his dad look like? Does he look like a natural evil man or not?

3 💙💙💙

Everything is really good. I just feel the second half of your story was laking something

Rate from 1-5

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1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing

2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice

3: Good/Needs a little editing

4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on

5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on