《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Our Sinful Fate
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Our Sinful Fate
CittyKills
Action, Romance, mafia, bad-boy , Mature
Mysterious. I love the use of black & white coloring. The man standing out more.
I really like it. It has me thinking; how will these two meet? How will they fall for each other? And who will leave their life, the mafia world or government world?
5 💙💙💙💙💙
There are some things you need to look over. Some missing I's and the's and the subject (EX: The yellow what?) I really like how it is paced, it's action. I really enjoy how she is the badass one, not the damsel in distress. This story is just WOW! At first, i thought it was going to be like this mafia series I read from Amazon, but it's WAY different. Which is good. I will definitely try to read more when I have time. Keep Writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial22 Chapters
Mistbound: Eternity
The world is said to be formed out of duality of man. Good and evil, right and wrong, light and dark. And with duality, comes conflict. A meaningless clash of ideals results in pointless wars. Azlan is wanderer who doesn't falls in either category. Tired and done with the redundant world, he lives his secluded life, hunting monstrosites for coin in the crumbling province of Mountaliya, situated in the land of Forsa. The premise follows Azlan as he explores the province, experiencing the culture and its people as they try to stand unshaken amidst a cold and unforgiving world. The story is a dark fantasy that is a balance of action and world building but most importantly, it follows the people going about their daily lives. The world has entered a state of stasis, there are no high stakes, no glory to be had, only a decaying realm of ice remains. Everyone awaits for Heaven's descent, an event prophesied to bring the world out of stasis, by granting the champion of the event a wish. Heaven Shall Descend. I wanted to write a high fantasy story that doesn't focuses too much on Magic and Swordfights, but rather interactions between people, a bit of politics and ideals. This is my first attempt at writing something this huge, please let me know if you see mistakes or any problems in general, so I can learn from them. (The cover picture is from the year 1818, "Wanderer Above the Mist" by Caspar David Friedrich). I also write Short stories set in the same shared universe. You can read them here: Dark Fantasy Short Stories.
8 164 - In Serial28 Chapters
How to become a Dark Lord
In a world where opportunities abound and adventures and Dark Lords fight each other for the fate of the world. There are those however that are not born to be chosen ones, heroes to save the world but rather born with a single ambition, to become a Dark Lord. Zalrodal is one of these prospective Dark Lord's but there are many things to learn before he can rule over anything that isn't a small hovel in the ground.
8 87 - In Serial7 Chapters
Give me a word I'll make a world
I can't make a synopsis as the novel will totally depends of you, the reader.TThis novel will evolve around several keywords per chapter, chosen by you.The goal is to manage to have a lot of links between the keywords, while avoiding as much as possible every single paradox. The novel resets every arc, so each new arc is a totally different story than the previous! Discord where you can post the keywords: discord.gg/9GMFzWZ
8 156 - In Serial7 Chapters
Snereloa Rebirth
In the darkest shining void, an ethereal being holding a scepter floats toward a nebula made up of the souls of the dead from all realms awaiting to be reutilized into the cycle. They aren't a deity of death, but one tracking an anomaly that can't be processed and completely wiped clean as they enjoy calling it. A fresh start, without shackles or remnants of what once was. Life is a price paid by all living beings, but like any transaction, we give it something in exchange for our memories, our feelings, our emotions, our past, and future, our ambitions and our dreams. Those all fuel the fire of creation, but so do grief, and pain. Every moment of suffering is the price, every living moment is paid at our death. Sometimes some have so much piled up that their soul and heart end up damaged. Be it loss of trust or being unable to truly live their life, those shackles are like an anchor that keeps the soul stable when on the verge of breaking apart, keeping it together at an immense price. Those unlucky souls are forced to be put into another life indebted, in the unlikely possibility of their defect healing themself in that new life. Their memories aren't intact after all—everything has a price—and that pain and fear are what they carry, while their partial amnesia is their shackle. This is the story of one such soul, of a girl sent into a world of legend and novel of fantasy, dragons and magic. A world away from what she knew, in which she will hopefully heal, be happy, and survive its side of darkness. Ps: my english is self learnt that mean typo and some other issue will happen but it shouldnt affect the sense of the story if u have any correction u would want me to do or some thing arent clear please tell me
8 160 - In Serial48 Chapters
System Dilemma
Was life ever so simple ? Is anything free in this world ? Jason hated his monotonous life. Wake up, dismantle things, Go to sleep. Rinse and repeat. His starting cards weren't great to begin with, and he made some questionable decisions. The system he got was bugged too! It didn't interpret most of his orders correctly, but he got the [Shop] feature to compensate for the problem. He kept on grinding everyday, till he got an opporunity. A chance, to do everything again. --------- Author's note: -Chapters will be updated on a daily basis. I am also posting this on Scribblehub:https://www.scribblehub.com/series/523856/system-dilemma
8 495 - In Serial27 Chapters
Romeo and Juliet
Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy written by William Shakespeare early in his career about two young star-crossed lovers whose deaths ultimately reconcile their feuding families. It was among Shakespeare's most popular plays during his lifetime and along with Hamlet, is one of his most frequently performed plays. Today, the title characters are regarded as archetypal young lovers.Cover done by @zuko_42
8 182
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