《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Our Sinful Fate
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Our Sinful Fate
CittyKills
Action, Romance, mafia, bad-boy , Mature
Mysterious. I love the use of black & white coloring. The man standing out more.
I really like it. It has me thinking; how will these two meet? How will they fall for each other? And who will leave their life, the mafia world or government world?
5 💙💙💙💙💙
There are some things you need to look over. Some missing I's and the's and the subject (EX: The yellow what?) I really like how it is paced, it's action. I really enjoy how she is the badass one, not the damsel in distress. This story is just WOW! At first, i thought it was going to be like this mafia series I read from Amazon, but it's WAY different. Which is good. I will definitely try to read more when I have time. Keep Writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial9 Chapters
The Crew: Gathering the Lads
A half dozen demonkin, three heists, and a criminal shortage of tea. Elizabel is competing for promotion to head of the infamous Equalizers group. All she needs to do is beat out her two competitors. The catch? In order to ensure they are qualified to lead, all three are taken out of their comfort zones and expected to lead a motley crew in a few high-stakes heists. The first to three wins the grand prize. Not an easy task in the best of circumstances, and this is far from it. After arriving to her new hideout, Elizabel finds one of her underlings in jail, and the other two to be overconfident and under-competent. With the jobs rushing in, can Elizabel rein herd over her undisciplined mob? Or will the chaos drive her to exasperation and out of the competition? Either way, there's going to be a whole lot of mayhem. And it's going to look absolutely aesthetic.
8 97 - In Serial31 Chapters
Noob Superhero
I’m the kind of guy who gets into trouble a lot, but it’s not always my fault. Joining the superheroes was my chance of proving I'm not a screw-up. Unfortunately, I screwed that up. Now I'm the most junior member of the worst team of heroes, the outcasts, the superheroes the public don't want to see. We're given the most dangerous missions because nobody cares if we die. But I'm going to get out of this team. I'm going to be a real superhero, the famous kind. Just watch me. Now complete!
8 143 - In Serial9 Chapters
Space Side Echoes
The First Galactic War came and went. The Beryons were defeated but dozens of species died out and now the surviving races are rapidly expanding across the galaxy trying to find fortune and empire. Aden and his mentor Julian are veterans looking to cash in on this new era but crippled and without any money they’re left with only one choice - carrying out jobs for the seedy underworld. Their first job was to steal and transport an experimental prosthetic arm and deliver it to Echo Station to a mysterious benefactor. Unfortunately powerful factions are pitting their agents against each other and Aden, along with anyone who has the misfortune to meet him, are about to get swept up into a race that takes him across the galaxy and maybe try and prevent yet another Galactic War.
8 58 - In Serial6 Chapters
A Royal Warrior
Skela has always been proud of its military might, originally a land of ruthless warriors and evolving to a land of warriors with politics. The kingdom, though not large in terms of land, now boasts thriving farms, a hardy and proud people, and a larger royal family than has been the case in years. The king and queen are in wonderful health, with two twins coming upon the age of eighteen. As a young princess, Alena has many skills under her belt; she is fluent in multiple languages, is well-versed in combat, and is beloved by many. However, her twin brother Krin is an expert politician and leader, utterly ruthless, and has a way of appealing to people's hidden desires. As their parents have yet to name an immediate heir to the throne, the siblings must discreetly battle for the Crown of the Night while winning their parent's favor, Alena utilizing her sense of righteousness and virtue, and Krin, his lack thereof. In her efforts to garner support, Alena finds herself in a new land with strange customs, left wondering at the state of affairs she'll return to.
8 146 - In Serial248 Chapters
Monastis Monestrum
Nearly two hundred and fifty years have passed since the world ended, and humanity, though changed forever by the otherworldly forces that once destroyed the land, lives on. Soldiers of the God-Emperor Aivor have come to the village of Etyslund, seeking out what they believe to be a dangerous cult that could bring a second apocalypse to the world. In this village lives a family, members of the very organization these soldiers came to fight against. The old city, where help might be found, is weeks away, and the Empire's outposts too scattered to gather reinforcements. "I fear that the peace of a new world cannot last forever, for we are not so different from the old humanity as we would like to believe." So warned the scholars of the past. In a new world, where old gods walk again, humanity has changed, but some part of the old world lives on.
8 87 - In Serial13 Chapters
The Infection (COMPLETED)
Louis notices the band is acting strange.... Louis can't explain but for some reason whenever they see him they get mad and blame all of there pain and mistakes on Louis. The words turn into punches and Louis ready to leave but a creature comes....
8 151
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