《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Reaching For The Perfect Star
Advertisement
Reaching For The Perfect Star
VMinMoonchild
Fanfiction, Drama, BTS, Romance
LOVE IT. A little generic, but I like it.
Cute, but what???
very good. I would like you to explain that the girl is not Koren. Is she American (etc)? What does she look like? What do the boys look like? (I don't really know this K-pop band; I've seen some pics of them) What is the strange outfit?
How did she mess up? Was she singing? Dancing? Both? (Nevermind you explained in flashback)
Okay, flashbacks, love them.
Even though I couldn't understand the lyrics what she was thinking really helped figure out how she is feeling. Her world crashing around her.
I love how you made it that Erin wanted proof that the main was a talent scout. *clapping hands*
4 💙💙💙💙
I suggest you do a chapter at the beginning as a word bank. Explaining what the Korean words you use mean. Also what is the difference between Korean age and Philippines age and Probably north America (since Wattpad is Canadian) Everything is pretty much stated above.
I actually might read on (if I find the time 😭)
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial24 Chapters
Nature's Companion
Gorm, an old man living in the mountains and forests of the Endless Wilderness for thousands of years, is dying. Not how he wanted to, surrounded by nature, but trapped in a cave with strange carvings all over its walls. When he was transferring his soul into an oak tree to prolong his life, the carvings on the cave walls lit up. This is my first story so feel free to criticize and correct me. English is not my first language, so if you find grammatical or spelling errors inform me. I’ll try to publish 2-3 chapters a week.
8 167 - In Serial6 Chapters
The villain and his grim angels
Shirou was dying, he had given it his all to defeat Angelica and succeeded at the price of his body and soul. But his journey is not yet over, awakening in another world at a private hospital, he was greeted by an eccentric tall man with spiky white hair claiming that he has become a 'Ashikabi' and thus he entered into another war known as 'The sekirei plan'. Alternate universe This is a fanfiction, It's been ages since I've been on this site and have only recently starting to choose to write again. I might start writing original works again, but its not likely since I decided to write fanfiction instead. Fate stay night cross over with sekirei. I am an lazy author whom only writes first drafts you have been warned.
8 97 - In Serial127 Chapters
Conscious, Conscientious
If Deon could spend his life pitting his powers against odd opponents in all kinds of places, he would.But instead, he's trapped inside his impressively boring village.Then one night, after he and his cousin Lammy share an oddly vivid dream, that all changes. They find themselves in a Multiverse far stranger, and more dangerous, than they could have ever imagined: one filled with diverse mind-based powers, countries defined by genre, and ambitions both humble and vicious.* This story has official theme music! You can check out the first two theme EP's, "Conscious, Conscientious 1" and "2" by Circlebrooke, wherever you stream music or on Bandcamp.* Note: This story is tagged with "Gore" due to occasional disturbing violence. It does not contain extreme or R-rated violent content.
8 204 - In Serial21 Chapters
MCU'S Ghost
He is Specter Casey Specter Yo Casey Jones was just thirteen When his Uncle made a strange machine Design to see a world unseen When it didn’t work it was a waste space To bad for Casey it blew up in his face Specter Specter When he woke up, he realizes He had shiny silver hair and burning orange eyes He could go through walls turn invisible and fly He was much more interesting than the other guys Specter Specter To bad that explosion caused a rift in space Causing all the bad ghost to attack the human race Specter Specter Than he knew he had to fight He had to become the people ghostly knight Going catch them all he Casey Specter Going to Catch them all he Casey Specter…… Captain America: Kid what are you singing Casey: Oh, Sorry Captain America Sir It my theme song I had to get pumped for the mission. I can’t believe I am going to Germany with bunch of Super Heros. This is the Story Of how 13-year-old Casey Jones become one of the Best Hero’s in the Marvel Universe.
8 83 - In Serial9 Chapters
Parent life with Bakugou
So your name is Y/n L/n but it changed to Y/n Bakugou because 1 year ago you got married to the love of life Katsuki Bakugou the number 2 hero and you just found out you pregnant and you have to tell Katsuki so you would be starting parent life with Katsuki but most of all you be a mother and you would be in motherhood your biggest dream........Read to find out more
8 69 - In Serial13 Chapters
The Red Sun
Upon the assassination of the chief of goblins, the supernatural world falls into chaos as the secret they've been keeping for ages has now been unraveled. Uprisings, hunters and duels menace the whole race and threaten the existence of the supernatural world. It is now up to a group of warrior friends to face the anarchism.
8 189
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
