《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Playing Pretend
Advertisement
Playing Pretend
StorybookHorror
General Fiction, Adventure, Romance, Suspense
LOVE IT. Love how it's black and white.
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic.
Very interesting. I've never read something like this before.
5 💙💙💙💙 💙
This story has TONS of potential. When I have time I'll read more. I can see this becoming the next Netflix series hit.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial40 Chapters
College Construction: My Principal System
Fang Yuan traveled through a parallel world and inherited the private high school founded by his late grandfather, Yun Ding High School. Due to its consistent ranking as the worst high school in Jingcheng City throughout the year, its qualification to be allowed to run as a school would soon be canceled. Fortunately, for Fang Yuan, the universe activated the Strongest Principal System. As long as the school gained prestige, it could establish buildings, summon famous talents, and redeem various God-level rewards. From the founding of the main teaching building to improving the efficiency of learning; constructing a library, improving overall intelligence, constructing a well-equipped hospital as well as ensuring health and safety standards are followed…the Strongest Principal System made everything possible. In addition, the System provided a concert hall, art gallery, a lake garden, an observatory, a cafeteria with five-star cuisine as well. However, this was not all, the System even allowed Fang Yuan to summon world-famous talents from parallel worlds to teach his students. He could summon Shakespeare to teach Literature, Gauss to teach Mathematics, Einstein for Physics, Curie for Chemistry, Darwin for Biology, and Nightingale for medicine. He could also summon Beethoven to teach music, Van Gogh for art, Spielberg for film, and Messi for football! Thus, a formidable high school that would shock the world was born. Students would go forth to win Nobel Prizes, Olympic Medals and break world records in all the manner of categories. Countless Hollywood celebrities and Silicon Valley geniuses would be produced by the school. “Bitcoin? Oh, you mean our IT Department teacher, Satoshi Nakamoto’s little experiment?” Even students from prestigious institutions such as Harvard, Cambridge, and Oxford would cry about wanting to attend Yun Ding High School.
8 800 - In Serial55 Chapters
The Way of Wrought Earth, or: My Tale of Rebirth as a Mostly Inanimate Rock
Mirage Winter. Second Clause, current act. A Relic Hunter's life is harsh — and often short — in the shattered lands of the Frontier. But when Whitelight reemerges, a legendary blade capable of separating anything the user wills it to cut, a newly formed unit organized of Hunter’s both young and old (and sediment based, in a particular case) vow to stop it from falling into cruel hands. Standing against them is the Frontier itself: the unbridled wrath of global federations, fellow Hunters, and those who lurk in the shadows of giants. As the world races to unravel a history desperately concealed, a semi-sapient rock soon realizes that some things are better off dead and buried — especially when those secrets carry an insidious corruption with no cure. Iteration: Mirror-glass Stars in Iron Oceans. First Clause. A soul wakes up as a rock, clinging to fragmented memories and knowledge of another era. What fate awaits such a creature? No, this isn't satire. Yes, I am dumb enough to try to take this seriously. Updates Wednesday, Friday with a variable amount of chapters. This story is not recommended for the easily disturbed. This is your only warning.
8 105 - In Serial14 Chapters
Silvertongue
After another long day at work, all Jon Christensen wanted was a cheap burger and some peace and quiet. Pulling into an ordinary McDonald’s, Jon only had the usual cares on his mind. His sister. The bills. A career with seemingly nowhere to go. But when a confusing encounter at the cash register triggers a violent episode in the parking lot, he’s quickly pulled into a world he doesn’t understand. His few careless sentences - and the odd gift of languages he’s kept hidden for years - wind up thrusting him right into the middle of a chaotic magical free-for-all, a battle taking place in the shadows of society. Entangled in an increasingly complex web of violence and lies, he's left with a choice: adapt, or die. Surrounded by strangers, Jon must struggle to survive, searching out friends amidst a sea of foes. If he can get his group of strays and rejects to work together, there’s a chance they might just make it out alive. Should he fail, the consequences will be dire - not only for Jon, but also for those he loves.
8 270 - In Serial6 Chapters
My Wonder System
Frank Hart lived a peaceful life with his mother in the lonely town called Marble, he had most of the things he needed and life didn't seem to be harsh on him without a father. Deep in the forest of Marble town was an underground settlement but it was abandoned. The body of a tyrant was buried beneath it, but it wasn't locked up forever as the duration of the spellbinding the tomb was complete, the beast lord broke out and along with his ugly beasts turned the world into a state of dilemma. Frank had to flee along with his mother into one of the few refugee camps that the humans had. There was a war, a war between humans and the beast lord, with the population of humans declining Frank was forced to go to war. With no experience at all on how to fight struggled until he was at the point of death. "Is this how it ends for me?" Frank grunted as he pulled himself across the hard floor. A drop of blood fell from his forehead and landed on the blue necklace on his neck, a gift from his mother. The necklace began to glow and at that point, he lost consciousness. [ System Active ] [ You have obtained the wonder system ]
8 139 - In Serial16 Chapters
Dungeonborn - Double Down
He was a boy, starving and unwanted in a desert town without a name, without a hope, and without a care for a lowly street rat. Dead in a gutter without even enough flesh on his bones to tempt the rats who were his neighbors. From such lowly beginnings springs greatness, for the God of Resurrection has seen fit to bless this pathetic wretch with a second chance at life. But Gods and men are cruel in equal measure, and the place of his rebirth is just as unfit for life as the scene of his first demise. Unbeknownst to man, and god alike a third-party stirs, lurching forth from beyond the stars something ancient stumbles upon something new and exciting. High above in the darkness beyond the firmament a great cyclopean eye turns its' baleful gaze upon the face of this world and finds it wanting...
8 192 - In Serial14 Chapters
The Soul Onboard [Discontinued]
A new starship malfunctions during its initial run. When the systems start coming back online, it's apparent there is a major problem. The ship is self-aware.A/N: Marshall is an enlisted rank equivalent to modern Corpral/Specialist. Station Marshall is equivalent to a Sergeant. I will explain all the ranks as part of the story at a later time.
8 133
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
