《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Mirage
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Mirage
LK_XOXO
Teen Fiction, Romance, Humor
LOVE IT.
Like your summary. To me it's a little too much info.
I agree with another fellow member, your Prologue is not really necessary.
At the beginning of the chapter you should say Months later since Luna then made friends.
Sentences I'm confused about:'Reminded of Ed Sheeran's Photograph? Well, I am.'
4 💙💙💙💙
Overall it's good. I see potential as it already has. I don't know how I feel about the break of the fourth wall though...
Rate from 1-5
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1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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Saint Jericho - "There are doors better left unopened, but those secrets never haunted me. No. What makes my hands tremble are the doors that can never be closed." The wind whispers of a monster spawned from hollows of hatred and the torment of souls. He leaves calamity in his wake, and even the Immortal Saint, Solomon, has fallen. This abomination is known by the prophecy given by the oracle - The Darkened One.Distorted by the desire of an unstoppable hunger, walking with the corpse of a king, he journeys across the continent of Alta. Known as Jericho by many, known as Jack by others, he faces golems of flesh, his waning humanity, and the corruptor of worlds, Gaia. If you relish in brutality, delight in carnage, or enjoy tales that are remarkably human, please enjoy the read. Otherwise, leave for less heavy hills. You've been warned.
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faceclaims.
in which i help you with faceclaims . ( MOSTLY females!) alsooooo check the comments because that's where i put they new @'s at.
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Better Than Bad (JJBA Fanfic)
One universe reset was all it took to change the paths of twisted men. Twisted men who killed for pleasure, selfish gain, benefit, or simply for revenge. Men whose morals didn't depend on societal standards, but depended on their own twisted desires. But these men all had their pasts stripped of them, and all were reborn anew, given another chance by fate to redeem themselves. A priest, a former president, a schizophrenic, a dinosaur, a serial killer, a beetle enthusiast, an aztec god, and a vampire, all fated to meet each other because one had a change of heart. Fate.. It's a silly thing, really. But, everything happens for a reason.(This fanfic contains minor swearing, blood, and character deaths.)
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Filozofie Nad Życiem I Nie Tylko.
~ W tej książce będę się podpisywała jako "NiezwyczajnaZwyczajna".~ Rozdziały będą zależne od mojego humoru, chęci itp.~ Będę dodawać wiersze, cytaty oraz różne perspektywy mojego autorstwa.~ Będę też pisać cytaty innych autorów.~ Można zapożyczać moje wiersze i cytaty ale musicie mnie oznaczać..I cóż... mam nadzieję że wam się spodoba moja książka :)
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