《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Mirage
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Mirage
LK_XOXO
Teen Fiction, Romance, Humor
LOVE IT.
Like your summary. To me it's a little too much info.
I agree with another fellow member, your Prologue is not really necessary.
At the beginning of the chapter you should say Months later since Luna then made friends.
Sentences I'm confused about:'Reminded of Ed Sheeran's Photograph? Well, I am.'
4 💙💙💙💙
Overall it's good. I see potential as it already has. I don't know how I feel about the break of the fourth wall though...
Rate from 1-5
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1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial23 Chapters
Faithless - A Lullabyte Story
Valerie Sherman had everything. Talent, Looks, and Intelligence. She was the heir to Arcana Future Industries, one of the most influential companies in the magical sector of 2078; she was set up to shine as the infallible protégé of a new era. An era of magical might that would challenge the high heavens themselves and bring ruin to all that strived to be called gods. She should have been the beacon of progress. But what no one knew, on the inside Valerie was already long broken. The medication for a mental illness that had ravaged her mind since childhood would soon rob her of her Magical Talents completely and leave her as a mere normal human. Her parents had abandoned her and most of her so-called friends were only after the fame and money. Convinced that the entire world was working against her and everyone was trying to rob her of whatever was left, she sought out darker powers. Something that would rid her of her failing mind, something that would finally provide her with the power that she needed to escape the clutches of society. Little did she know that gifts from the beyond rarely come without strings attached. Maybe her first clue should have been all the teeth and tentacles? Attention! This Fiction contains: BDSM - Slaveplay - Same-sex intercourse - A lot of bad people doing very bad things - Other ingredients: May contain trace amounts of Tuna . . .
8 202 - In Serial50 Chapters
Reclaim Glory
Nathan Algren is a military officer deployed to Iraq for a search and rescue mission. Disgraced in operation, he gets reincarnated as the overpowered Ragnar Sigvald, son of a mighty warrior family set in Alt History Early-Medieval Europe. Filled with betrayal and deceit, William the Conqueror's reign is not as secure as it once was. Will Ragnar Sigvald, son of a Marshal, be able to turn the historical situation around? Or will he die a cruel death, under the crush of medieval era warfare? -------------------------------------------Tags: Transmigration, Male MC, Alt HistorySchedule: 7 chapters/week (unless I'm ill or stuff happens)Chapter Length: 1200 - 1400 wordsWarning: If you are easily offended, this book may not be for you. It is an early medieval era book that follows the journey of an overpowered MC through the brutalities of war and pillaging. -------------------------------------------Support the author:https://ko-fi.com/Ironmhttps://www.patreon.com/Ironm-------------------------------------------Discord channel: https://discord.gg/tUq6etBmQx-------------------------------------------I don't own the cover, if the artist wishes for me to take it down, all they have to do is ask.
8 120 - In Serial7 Chapters
The Thirst of the Green.
What is a poor young maid do when bored? Well looking after the little black sheep of the castle is a start but that's only just the beginning. After all, she has a plan... AN: Image is not mine, please give credits for it to who made it and if they want me to take it down then pm me and it can be arranged.PS:Please Pm me if you actually find out, I have not been able to do so despite my best efforts.
8 231 - In Serial14 Chapters
The Nest (TOME 1)
Heater goes to Finland to join her father for the Christmas holidays. The small plane that was supposed to take her to her destination will never arrive."Aaargh, what the hell is this? Where are my hands? What's with the legs and scales?"What is this monster? My dragon mother?Noooon I don't want to eat human flesh.....!Help, Mom, I'm alive! Come and save me!!!!!!! The next story is (The ISLE) Tome 2.
8 120 - In Serial200 Chapters
PJO
These are some gourmet memes, trust me I scoured the internet for them.Most of these are NOT my memes, please keep that in mindNote there is a part 2 to this book
8 273 - In Serial14 Chapters
Don't Mess With Space-Time Seals
Fugaku Uchiha didn't know that a simple experiment with seals would result in such drastic consequences.
8 177
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