My critiques mean no offense to the story nor author. It is solely intended for the improvement of your work, thus it does not mean to belittle nor hurt you in any way. If you have concerns or clarifications regarding this critique, do not hesitate to message me privately. Everything stated here came from my own perspective and opinions which may or may not differ from others.

This contains spoilers, beware.

Typos and errors are to be seen, this is a rough draft.

▪ One word lang ang title kaya madaling matandaan, good job on that! It also strongly screams femininity since the word, or name to be exact, is derived from the female lead. I love its simplicity as well since nowadays, most people use extravagant titles although it's unnecessary, in your case, you chose to be simple. The only thing I noticed is, the title you chose somehow doesn't relate to the story's content. Because judging from the first chapter 'til chapter nine, the story revolves around two of the main characters (correct me if I'm wrong) - Leo and Caroline. So hindi siya completely, as in completely'ng umiikot kay Caroline. If ever the story doesn't actually, and completely revolve around Caroline herself, then maybe try to consider changing your title.

▪ The genre of your story is teen fiction, but the cover says otherwise. Hindi ako gaanong naapektuhan sa book cover, kasi sobrang dark niya, o parang hindi magma-match ang color scheme sa genre na gusto mong iparamdam sa mga mambabasa mo. Consider changing the book cover, and try to use (or request for) a more light color that'll definitely scream the teen fiction vibes and at the same time, make (or request for) it more attractive or catchy.

You delivered your description well, kudos to that! Though there're minimal errors, such as don't address your character focus as "nito". Since si Caroline naman ang pokus mo, puwedeng "niya" na lang. At saka, para sa akin, parang kulang ang intriga at tanong na inilagay mo roon. Parang may kulang pa, hindi ko masabi kung ano. Kumbaga, parang walang bago, kaparehas pa rin ng ibang mga teen fiction na libro. If you want to attract attention, play, and be creative with your words, widen your knowledge.

▪ Hindi sapat na bastang sabihin na nasa parke si Caroline. Marami bang tao roon? Mahangin ba o mainit? May mga puno't bulaklak ba roon? Malawak ba ang parke? Gaano karami ang stalls? Sobrang dilim na ba? Use the five senses (sight, smell, sound, taste & touch) when describing the setting of the story. The environment of the story is one of the most vital elements in creating a promising story, so always, always describe the setting of where does the scene occurs. You can't just simply indicate that they're in a gymnasium, coffee shop, and school. You can do more than that. Widen your imagination and play with your words. Let's say your character is in a coffee shop, mostly they'll smell some fresh coffee beans since it's a coffee shop right? Or maybe other sweet desserts. Like, aren't there any students to gossip when they see a senior together with Caroline? Aren't there any some sort of judgments from students? Show the readers that the story is actually alive in their imagination by making them feel like their in that specific place in the story. Master your worldbuilding, make your readers feel like the world that you built really does exist in their imaginations, strongly. The same goes for the tone and mood of the story, sobrang nagla-lack siya. Your characters are not robots, so always show their feelings and moods in every scenario as much as possible, especially if that scene contributes something to the plot. 'Yong lungkot na nararamdaman ni Caroline nang mahuli niya si Leo na may kasamang ibang babae na niyayaya siyang maging parter sa prom, kulang 'yong mood na naibigay mo. Use strong dynamics when it comes to showing the mood and feelings of the characters. Kasi 'yong nararamdaman lang ni Carolina ang na-indicate mo e. Wala 'yong nakakalungkot o nakakainis na mood. So boost your capabilities and improve what needs to be improved. If your character is feeling annoyed or whatsoever, don't forget to add the tone and mood so that readers can easily grasp the atmosphere of the story.

▪ Medyo nalilito ako sa kung ano ba talaga ang ugali niya. There are times where she acts as if she's spoiled, and there are also times where she acts nicely to others. Be clear on what her personality really is, because if not, her character would be vague. But nevertheless, I like her childish (kinda) acts it totally fits the age she's in. And I could relate to her, that most teenagers nowadays are really adventurous. You molded her the way how living adolescents actually act, speak, and think. The only problem is her confusing personality, but aside from that, she's great.

He's the type of guy that's cold and serious but can be a cute and soft one when he's with his special someone. I'll admit, the way you built him is truly admirable. He's polite, respectful, and all the positive traits an ideal man could have. But even though he doesn't have any point of views in the latest chapters, at least justify his actions thoroughly. Because there were some scenes where his actions towards Caroline were confusing, as if it came from nowhere.

The minor characters are so vague - maybe because the spotlight between them and the major ones aren't balanced. One of the most vague character for me is Carla, Caroline's older sister. Sa una, mukhang mabait naman siya at may malasakit kay Caroline, pero sa sumunod na mga kabanata, parang bumaliktad and so on. Pabago-bago ang ipinapakita mong ugali niya, na hindi naman dapat. Gaya ng sinabi ko, dapat sa umpisa pa lang alam na natin kung anong ugali ng mga karakter natin, para hindi maguluhan ang mga mambabasa. She's kinda has that attitude where she can throw away the man she's with and stick to Leo jut because she saw him smile. She knew (or maybe not?) That Caroline is into him, but she doesn't seem to care about that fact and cling onto Leo carelessly. And then, she also has that attitude and behavior in which she seems to truly care about her little sister. Ano ba talaga ang ugali na gusto mong ipakita ni Carla? Second, Caroline's friends. They are really, really vague to me. Parang biglaan iyong sulpot nila, lalo na si Andy. Ang akala ko nga e lalaki siya. Medyo nakaka-confuse lang kasi hindi nade-describe ang panlabas na itsura nila, kaya ang kalalabasan, mahirap ma-imagine. I suggest that if the readers will encounter a new character through the main's pov, describe their physical appearance because that's already a big help to them. Getting back on Caroline's friends, I don't think it's right to just tell us the personalities of her friends. Rather than that, show us. Show some mannerisms, and actions instead of saying that she/they is/are smart, sassy, etc. Parang biglang sumulpot lang sa eksena ang ibang mga kaibigan ni Caroline bukod kay Andy.

▪ Moving on, Leo's friends - Fred and Frida. They're vague in a way that the shifting of their emotions are rough. At first the twins doesn't seem fond on Caroline especially Frida, but then after the next encounter, Fred gets along with Caroline as if nothing happened before. Which is most likely to be unrealistic. Hindi ba dapat makikibuan muna ni Caroline ang pagiging awkward ni Fred sa kaniya? I hope you can justify this part and make the shifting of moods and emotions smoother. Next are Caroline's parents. Vague din ang ugali nila dahil halos bihira lang ang pagpapakita nila sa bawat scenes. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin niyon ay hindi mo na sila bibigyan ng pansin. Kahit sana kaunting spotlight lang sa kanila, ipakita mo kung anong klaseng mga magulang ba sila; the strict, loving, or whatsoever. Kahit kaunting dinner conversation o kumustahan man lang. Kasi sa part na na-grounded sila, parang hindi gaanong na-justify ang part na 'yon. Siguro, sa halip na sabihing na-grounded sila, bakit hindi mo ipakita kung bakit? Wala naman sigurong mawawala kung bibigyan mo ng dialogues ang mga magulang ng bida 'di ba? At least provide some scenes that'll definitely show the characteristics of each characters in your story. Show us what their personalities are.

The chemistry between the main characters weighs more rather than the other elements of the story. Balance your worldbuilding, plot, and characters. You can't just simply focus on the mains and ignore the others. Every element of the story is important, so learn to balance them well. Basing from the description you provided, I can see that everything you stated there is actually happening on the chapters. You're getting there, just keep going. But never forget to keep everything balanced in writing a story.

The conflict doesn't seem like a conflict at all even though I didn't get the chance to witness it. If ever the story's conflict is truly about Caroline carrying tons of questions she couldn't ask Leo, I highly suggest you try to consider changing it. Because if that will serve as your main conflict, it'll only show us that your characters are immature. The thoughts of Leo being a polite and mature guy (since he's already a senior and will soon graduate), will just all be in vain. Also, it seems like it won't fit Caroline knowing that she's a bold girl. I kinda see her as a shameless girl (especially on the part where she kissed Leo on the cheeks), so parang balewala lang ang mga ipinakita nilang ugali, kung ang suliranin ng kuwento ay ang tanong na iniwan mo sa deskripsyon mo. Kasi ang kalalabasan niyan, parang ang immature nang pagkaka-handle nilang dalawa sa relasyon nila, na parang walang open-up na nagaganap sa kanilang dalawa sa lumipas na mga taon. I mean, through the years that passes, can't Caroline feel that Leo's love for her is sincere and real? Since you haven't reached that part of the story yet, please do consider changing the conflict of your story, because otherwise, it'll only make the two look immature.

I get it that the story revolves around Leo and Caroline, but still, don't get carried away. What am I trying to say? Don't spoil your main characters too much like giving them the full attention/spotlight in every chapter. Balance everything. Balance the chemistry between them, and the relationship or bond between them and the other characters. Because basing from chapter one 'til its latest chapter (nine), parang ang biased masyado at parang sobra ang pag-e-expose mo kina Leo at Caroline. Huwag gano'n. Kasi kapag gano'n ang ginagawa mo, magiging vague talaga ang ibang mga karakter sa kuwento mo kung puro sina Leo at Caroline lang naman ang laman ng kada kabanata. Do not spoon feed your readers by doing that, let them crave for the bond of your main characters. At least, expose the characteristics of Caroline's friends, and family, thus Leo's friends and acquaintances.

The chemistry between the main characters

▪ So far, you're doing good and making the readers feel butterflies in their stomach! Leo and Caroline's chemistry are truly interesting, because of their age gap, kudos to that!

>| Wastong paggamit ng "rin, raw, rito, riyan" at "din, daw, dito, diyan"

▪ Ginagamit ang "rin, raw, rito, riyan" kapag ang huling letra bago nito ay nagtatapos sa patinig (a, e, i, o, u). Ginagamit din ito kapag ang huling letra bago nito ay nagtatapos sa mga katinig na "w, y," dahil katunog lamang nito ang mga patinig.

Halimbawa:

- Maganda rin sa Pilipinas.

- Maganda raw sa Pilipinas.

- Maganda rito sa Luzon.

- Maganda riyan ipagdiwang ang iyong kaarawan.

- Patuloy rin ang kaniyang pag-aaral sa kabila ng pandemya.

▪ Habang ang "din, daw, dito, diyan" ay ginagamit kapag ang huling letra bago nito ay nagtatapos sa mga katinig (b, c, d, f...). Ito rin ay ginagamit kapag ang huling dalawang letra bago nito ay nagtatapos sa "ra, re, ri, ro, ru".

Halimbawa:

- Pangit din ang ugali niya.

- Pangit daw ang ugali niya.

- Mahilig matulog dito ang magkapatid tuwing hapon.

- Mahilig din diyan ang mga kaibigan ko.

- Bakit ba ayaw niya tanggapin ang tulong natin? Para din naman sa kaniya ito.

>| Wastong paggamit ng "nang" at "ng".

▪ Ginagamit ang "nang" kapag sinasagot ang tanong na paano, gaano, at kapag inuulit ang kilos.

Halimbawa:

❌ - Tumawa siya ng matagal.

✔ - Tumawa siya nang matagal.

❌ - Tumango siya ng bahagya.

✔ - Tumango siya nang bahagya.

❌ - Nakatingin naman ng masama...

✔ - Nakatingin naman nang masama...

❌ - Tumawa ulit siya ng mahina.

✔ - Tumawa ulit siya nang mahina.

▪ Ginagamit naman ang "ng" kapag sinasagot ang tanong na ano at kapag nagsasaad ng pagmamay-ari.

Halimbawa:

❌ - May bahid nang panunukso ang kaniyang mukha.

✔ - May bahid ng panunukso ang kaniyang mukha.

❌ - Saad nang ngumunguyang si Andy.

✔ - Saad ng ngumunguyang si Andy.

>| correct & incorrect usage of words.

❌ - niyo

✔ - n'yo/ninyo

❌ - tignan

✔ - tingnan

❌ - 'yung, sa'kin, sa'yo/sayo, sa'tin, saakin, wag, ganon/ganun, yan, 'tsaka,

✔ - 'yong, sa 'kin, sa 'yo, sa 'tin, sa akin, 'wag, ganoon/gano'n, 'yan, at saka

❌ - 'e/e'

✔ - e/eh

❌ - lalake, galet

✔ - lalaki, galit

❌ - pakielam, kamusta, kunware

✔ - pakialam, kumusta, kunwari

❌ - 'ni katiting

✔ - ni katiting

❌ - hang-outs, tv, dm,

✔ - hangouts, TV, DM

❌ - make up (cosmetics)

✔ - makeup

>| Misspelled Filipino Words and Phrases

1. Kadalasan o palagi ang may u sa pagitan ng k at w.

✅Kuwento, kuweba, kuwaderno, kuwago, engkuwentro

❌Kwento, kweba, kwaderno, kwago, engkwentro

Halimbawa:

a. Si Jacob at Jose ay nagkaroon ng engkuwentro; kamao sa kamao.

b. Ang mga mata ni Therese ay nagmistulang sa kuwago dahil siya'y kulang sa tulog.

2. Kadalasan o palagi ang may i sa pagitan ng "ns" at "y".

✅Probinsiya, konsensiya, ahensiya, pasensiya, ebidensiya

❌probinsya, konsensya, ahensya, pasensya, ebidensya

Halimbawa:

a. Si Jacob ay walang konsensiya kay Jose

.

b. "Huwag mong ubusin ang pasensiya ni Therese! Mumurahin ka niyan."

3. ✅Mapagpakumbaba

❌Mapagkumbaba

Halimbawa:

a. Si Maria ay isang mapagpakumbabang tao.

4. Kadalasan o palagi ang may i bago ang pandiwang nagsisimula sa katinig.

✅itinuturo, itinimbog, itinatampok, ipinagpapalagay

❌tinuturo, tinimbog, tinatampok, pinagpapalagay

a. "Itinuturo mo sa akin ang kasalananang ginawa mo, ganoon ka ba kakapal? " asik ni Therese.

b. "Alam mo ba? Itinatampok daw ni Mareng Jessica ngayon ang mga memes ni Reign."

5. ✅alaala, katakataka(halaman)

❌ala-ala, kataka-taka

a. Presko pa sa alaala ni Levi ang ginawa niyang pananampal sa kubrador ng utang.

b. Dahil dakilang plantita si Elise, nagtanim siya ng katakataka sa kaniyang bakuran.

6. ❌ano man, nino man, sino man, saan man, kailan man

✔anuman, ninuman, sinuman, saanman, kailanman

a. "Hindi ko makakalimutan ang ginawa mo kailanman! " puno nang emosyong saad ni Princess habang lumuluha.

b. Kung sino man ang tumututol sa kasalang ito ay maari nang lumayas.

7. ✅Natutuhan

❌natutunan

Halimbawa:

a. Hindi pa rin niya tuluyang natutuhan kung paano mahalin ang kaniyang sarili.

8. ✅Komento, konsensiya, koleksiyon, koneksiyon, kompanya

❌kumento, kunsensiya, kuleksiyon, kuneksiyon, kumpanya

9. Parehong "maya-maya" ang isda at pang-abay. Ginagamitan ng malaking titik ang isda kung gagamitin ito sa isang pangungusap, talata o sulatin kasama ng pang-abay na kapangalan nito. Maaari ding gamitan ito ng malaking titik (na siyang karaniwang paraan ng pagsusulat sa mga species ng isda) kahit hindi nito kasama ang pang-abay na maya-maya

✅Maya-maya, Maya-Maya (isda)

❌mayamaya, Mayamaya

a. Paboritong isda ni Haniel ang Maya-maya.

b. Maya-maya't lamang ay lalabas na ang panauhin ni Shannah.

10. Sinu-sino at Anu-ano ang tamang pagbaybay kapag nagtatanong. Sino-sino at Ano-ano naman kapag nagsasalaysay.

✅Sinu-sino ang mga miyembro ng Critic Team?

❌Sino-sino, Sino sino, Sinu sino

❌Kung sino-sino na ang nakatikim ng kaniyang putahe.

✔Sinu-sino, Sinu sino, sino sino

11. Sino + ang

✅"Sino'ng umubos ng tilapya ko?" tanong ni Aegir.

❌Sinong, Sinung

Sino + na = Sinong

✅Walang kahit na sinong traydor ang puwede sa grupong ito!

❌Sinung, Sino'ng

Ano + ang = Ano'ng

Ano + na = Anong

12. ✅Puwede

❌Pwede, Pwide, P'wede, Pupuwede, Pup'wede, Pipwede, Pipuwede