My critiques mean no offense to the story nor author. These are solely intended for your work's improvement, it does not mean to belittle nor degrade you in any way. If you have concerns regarding this critique, feel free to message me privately. Everything stated here came from my own opinion and perspective which may differ from others.

This contains spoilers, beware.

Typos and errors are expected, this is a rough draft.

MidoriVerde

▪ The title is pretty uncommon, and by that, I can already sense its uniqueness. You also used common words such as punishment, which is pretty much understandable since the story revolves around Hora's punishment. At sa punishment na ni Hota magsisimula ang kuwento (?), na dapat niyang mahalin at pahalagahan ang mga mortal.

I commend your editor for somehow showing Hora and her mirror in the cover. However, I don't feel any fantasy vibes and seems more like a mystery/thriller one for me due to it's color scheme of being kinda gloomy and dark. At saka, bakit nasa loob ng salamin si Hora? Parang nagbibigay kasi ang cover ng mysterious vibes kaysa fantasy. Thus, I also think that the placements of the fonts and choices don't quite match the cover. Changing the book cover would be great.

▪ The blurb is good, you're able to tell the readers of what the story is about, and you're also able to tell its brief summary. But there were some grammatical errors that I know you can fix.

▪ By the blue underlined one, the quote to be specific, I don't think it fits in the description. Kasi parang hindi siya nagme-make sense sa blurb, is that supposed to be Hora's iconic line? I suggest you remove it kasi parang out of place talaga ang pagkakalagay ng quote.

▪ Only some of the places were described in the story. Remember to always use the five senses (sight, smell, sound, taste, and touch) in describing the places where the story takes place. Because I've noticed that you only mentioned what Hora or the other characters sees, which is wrong. Try to put or imagine yourself being in that place where your character is. What do you see in details? What do you hear? What does the specific place smells like? And if a character is touching something, demonstrate what it feels like: is it soft? Heavy? Et cetera, because your characters are not robots, they are fictional beings.

▪ I also noticed that the moods of each characters are lacking. For example, when Hora was punished and appeared in the mortal world, you did not describe how she felt in that place (palengke yata?). I mean, did she not feel any irritations, or sweating? Instead of telling how she feels and what she sees, show us. Like what I've mentioned before, try to put yourself in your character's situations. For example, in a supermarket. Hindi ba, karaniwang mainit sa mga palengke? Ipakita mo sa amin kung ano ang pakiramdam ng isa kapag nasa palengke siya, kalsada, o kung saan pa man. Try to read some stories that shows the proper use of settings and the atmosphere. Also, try to strengthen your world building since it's one of the story's foundation.

Hora

▪ I expected her character to be cold towards everyone around her since they kept on forcing her to love and care for mortals. But turns out, I was wrong. This is one of the questions in my mind, why isn't she cold towards the ones around her? I mean, hindi ba dapat magagalit ka or maiinis kapag pinipilit ka ng iba na gawin ang isang bagay na hindi mo naman gusto? Kulang sa feelings ang lahat ng karskter mo, lalong-lalo na si Hora. Hindi sapat na basta lang siya magprotesta o sabihing nagagalit siya, again, use the method of showing. In her pov's, it also felt like it was rushed. Ang bilis ng mga nangyayari sa kaniya at umaabot sa punto na napapabayaan na ang dapat niyang maramdaman sa isang pangyayari. Her pov also turned me off. Ang rough kasi ng pagkaka-narrate sa kaniya, her use of Filipino language made me cringe, and it's kinda rough to read.

▪ These two were only introduced on the first two chapters, making them vague. Although they are only side characters, we must also focus on them to avoid the vagueness of each characters. Casada being the Goddess of water as her personality of being calm is not much shown. Instead of telling how calm she is in every situation, show us. You can use some flashbacks from Hora's childhood wherein Casada's calmness is being shown instead of just telling the readers how she is calm. Also, if she truly loved her daughter, why didn't she protested when King Osferion made a choice of punishing Hora? If she does not want her daughter to suffer, then she could've stopped or questioned her husband's decision regarding Hora's punishment.

▪ As for King Osferion, he lacks the power. You can do better instead of just showing the readers his decision. Try to brag his power as the creator of everything, ipakita mo kung ano ang kaya niyang gawin. Kasi ang vague niya na bigla na lang siyang magdedesisyon sa kaparusahan ni Hora gayong hindi naman nabanggit kung gaano katagal na niyang binabalaan si Hora na magbago. Give him a spotlight in a specific chapter (could be a flashback or in present) wherein you'll showcase on how powerful your character can be since he's the creator of all. Also, show a scene where he's trying to convince his daughter to change before jumping into the decision scene.

▪ I like the part where she showed kindness for making Hora stay in their household although her little brother disagreed. This personality of hers is something to be inspired of to help people no matter what their status in life is. But the way she acts and speaks is kinda a turn off for me. Kasi sabi mo, thirty years old na siya, so she's probably matured, but the way she speaks and acts doesn't go accordingly to her age. Parang high school student lang siya at ang childish. Kung hindi mo siguro nabanggit ang edad niya, iisipin ng iba (o baka ako lang) na isa siyang adolescent. You also said that her mother died so it was only her, her little brother, and her uncle. So by that time, she must've been matured right? Since wala na ang mga magulang nila at siya ang tatayong magulang ni Yvan. This can be one of the reasons why she can mature. I suggest you make her personality and behavior act accordingly in her age.

▪ He's also vague for me. Why? Because the shifting of emotions were rough. One time, he acts cool, and chill, but later on, he became annoyed and irritated by Hora's presence. There's nothing wrong with that since these feelings are normal. But, the shifting were odd. Do not rush things in showing the emotions of your characters because emotions are one of the most vital in writing a story. Kung sa una talaga ay chill lang siya, then stick to that emotion or mood first before quickly dashing to the next one.

▪ The structure needs improvement. Although it's quite stable, I still think that you should work on the plot more. Especially on the part where she resents the mortals. Her reasons seems unreasonable. I mean, humans are imperfect, so she should expect them to be like that. Maybe try to play with your words and widen your logic, why does Hora really hate mortals?

▪ As said in the title, Hora's punishment seems to be the main conflict (?) Of the story. Though is it really what we call the conflict of the story? Because by the looks of it (from chapter 0-5), it doesn't look like Hora's punishment is a big deal to herself. Parang wala siyang ka-worry-worry kung ano ba talaga ang mangyayari sa kaniya sa mundo ng mga mortal, kung hanggang kailan siya mananatili roon. Alam mo 'yon? 'Yong parang hindi siya nag-o-overthink sa mga possibilities na puwedeng mangyari sa kaniya. Parang normal lang ang mindset niya tungkol sa pananatili sa mundo ng mga mortal. The conflict needs improvement to actually look and feel like a conflict. Try to make your character worry about what will happen to her in a world she's not familiar of. I mean, everyone does this nowadays, right? They or we overthink the possibilities that may occur in a specific event in our life. So try to do it in your characters as well. Make your conflict more lively so readers can somehow think what will actually happen to Hora in the mortal's world.

▪ The first scene wherein the cat dies is not quite intriguing for me. Some may think that it's a normal and not pretty much a fantasy vibe. I suggest you change it, kasi para sa akin (lang), walang impact ang unang scene kung saan namatay si Susi. Try to be creative, you can maybe showcase Hora's ability as the Goddess of Time instead of her looking at the mirror. Puwedeng iyong scene na papatigilin niya ang oras o kaya magta-time travel siya. Moving on sa chapter one, ang bilis niya honestly. I wasn't able to adapt the scene where her Father punishes her to the mortal world. Ang bilis ng pangyayari kahit na naaayon naman siya sa story description mo.

▪ Like what I've said, do not rush the scenes and things. There's nothing wrong on going slowly (but not too slow) as long as the flow and pacing is going smoothly. Siguro, sa chapter one, subukan mo munang ipakita kung anong klaseng relasyon mayroon si Hora at ang kaniyang pamilya, tapos may scene din na ipinapakitang pinipilit nila si Hora na magbago at matutong mahalin ang mga mortal. Try to leave Hora's family a background para may mapanghahawakan ang mga readers mo kay Hora. You can also show in chapter one how Goddess Casada is a loving, and calm Mother towards her daughter, give the both of them a mother-daughter spotlight. Or maybe you can also show how King Osferion is persistent in convincing his daughter to change her perspective towards the mortals and not just jump into the scene where he punishes his own child. Paint Hora's family a background so readers would know what or how does her family interacts with her, hating the humans. And after all these, you can easily jump to the scene where King Osferion announces Hora's punishment, where Casada would try to convince her husband to change his mind, and where Hora will show her anger (or any emotion) she has from her Father's decision.

▪ Fast forward, kung saan nakatira na si Hora kina Ysabelle at Yvan, puwede mo ring bigyan ng spotlight abg magkapatid, puwede silang mag-reminisce sa mga nangyari sa kanila; sa Mama nila, o sa pamilya para may mapanghahawakan din ang mga readers mo. In the reminiscing scene (if ever you'll put it), you can show Yvan's attitude there so we won't be surprised on why he acts like that.

▪ I definitely never seen any story like this before since karamihan sa mga Greek myths ay puro pagpopokus sa mga characters nila na maging parte ng Goddess something like that. Thumbs up on your creativity!

☆ Why didn't Hora use her power to change her fate?

▪ Being the Goddess of time is very powerful ability. You can either travel to the past, present or future, and probably stop the time. Pero bakit hindi man lang naisip ni Hora na gamitin ang kapangyarihan niya na baguhin ang tadhana niya at bumalik sa panahon kung saan bago siya parusahan e tatakas siya? She could've used that opportunity if she badly opposes the punishment that'll be bestowed on her. Puwede niya pang gamitin ang kapangyarihan niya habang hindi pa nalilimitahan ang kapangyarihan niya.

☆ Why does Hora's power seem to be limited?

▪ When you talk about the power of time, some may think it's really powerful, and it actually is. But in Hora's case, it's not. Parang limitado lang ang kakayahan niya bilang Goddess of time. I mean, 'yong mirror at pagpapatigil lang ba ng time ang kaya niyang gawin? I know you can do better by boosting her powers and showing it to your readers what a real Goddess of time is capable of. Do not limit her power. Show us what her powers are and how powerful it is since time is very essential to everyone.

☆ Lack of emotions.

▪ I already said this before, but still, always show each of your characters emotions in every scene. They are not robots, right? They're fictional beings, so give them life by showing what they feel at every scene. But! Don't just tell us what they feel, show it. For example, Hora got angry for being punished in the mortal world, don't tell using her pov that she's upset about it. Show us what she is feeling, does she resent her Father for the decision he made? Does she feel like her heart is beating faster or some smoke is coming out of her nose due to frustration?

>| Wastong paggamit ng "rin, raw, rito, riyan" at "din, daw, dito, diyan"

▪ Ginagamit ang "rin, raw, rito, riyan" kapag ang huling letra bago nito ay nagtatapos sa patinig (a, e, i, o, u). Ginagamit din ito kapag ang huling letra bago nito ay nagtatapos sa mga katinig na "w, y," dahil katunog lamang nito ang mga patinig.

Halimbawa:

- Magand sa Pilipinas.

- Magand sa Pilipinas.

- Magand sa Luzon.

- Magand ipagdiwang ang iyong kaarawan.

- Patulo ang kaniyang pag-aaral sa kabila ng pandemya.

▪ Habang ang "din, daw, dito, diyan" ay ginagamit kapag ang huling letra bago nito ay nagtatapos sa mga katinig (b, c, d, f...). Ito rin ay ginagamit kapag ang huling dalawang letra bago nito ay nagtatapos sa "ra, re, ri, ro, ru".

Halimbawa:

- Pangi ang ugali niya.

- Pangi ang ugali niya.

- Mahilig matulo ang magkapatid tuwing hapon.

- Mahilig di ang mga kaibigan ko.

- Bakit ba ayaw niya tanggapin ang tulong natin? Pa naman sa kaniya ito.

▪ Ang paggamit ng "rin, raw, rito, riyan" at "din, daw, dito, diyan" ay nag-iiba kapag Ingles ang salita bago nito. Ang wastong paggamit ng mga ito ay nababase sa kung paano bigkasin ang isang salitang Ingles.

Halimbawa:

(×) - May time (taym) rin siya ngayon para sa laro natin.

(/) - May time (taym) din siya ngayon para sa laro natin.

>| Wastong paggamit ng "nang" at "ng"

▪ Ginagamit ang "nang" kapag sinasagot ang tanong na paano, gaano, at kapag inuulit ang kilos.

Halimbawa:

- Kumakain nang mabagal si Anne.

(Paano kumakain si Anne? Mabagal.)

- Tumaba nang bahagya si Anne dahil kain siya nang kain.

(Gaano tumaba si Anne? Bahagya.)

- Putak nang putak si Angela dahil kay Anne.

▪ Ginagamit naman ang "ng" kapag sinasagot ang tanong na ano at kapag nagsasaad ng pagmamay-ari.

Halimbawa:

- Kumain ang magbabarkada ng itlog at hotdog.

- Matalik na kaibigan ni Summer ang pinsan ng Tita niya.

- Mahilig siyang kumain ng french fries ng Mcdo.

>| Incorrect & correct uses of words

❌ - 'yung/yung, ganu'n/ganun, nun, nung

✔ - 'yong/iyong, gano'n/ganoon, noon/no'n, noong/no'ng

❌ - sayo, sakin, sa' min, sakanya, sakanila, diba, parin

✔ - sa 'yo, sa 'kin, sa 'min, sa kaniya, sa kanila, 'di ba, pa rin

❌ - ininum, meron, deretso, skwelahan, tshirt, tabe, na amoy, kesa, log book, imbis, kisema, pagtugtug

✔ - ininom, mayroon/mayro'n, diretso, eskuwelahan, t-shirt, tabi, naamoy, kaysa, logbook, imbes, kisame, pagtugtog

❌ - Mama (guy), puno (full)

✔ - Mamá, punô

>| Misspelled Filipino Words and Phrases

1. Kadalasan o palagi ang may u sa pagitan ng k at w.

✅Kuwento, kuweba, kuwaderno, kuwago, engkuwentro

❌Kwento, kweba, kwaderno, kwago, engkwentro

Halimbawa:

a. Si Jacob at Jose ay nagkaroon ng engkuwentro; kamao sa kamao.

b. Ang mga mata ni Therese ay nagmistulang sa kuwago dahil siya'y kulang sa tulog.

2. Kadalasan o palagi ang may i sa pagitan ng "ns" at "y".

✅Probinsiya, konsensiya, ahensiya, pasensiya, ebidensiya

❌probinsya, konsensya, ahensya, pasensya, ebidensya

Halimbawa:

a. Si Jacob ay walang konsensiya kay Jose

.

b. "Huwag mong ubusin ang pasensiya ni Therese! Mumurahin ka niyan."

3. ✅Mapagpakumbaba

❌Mapagkumbaba

Halimbawa:

a. Si Maria ay isang mapagpakumbabang tao.

4. Kadalasan o palagi ang may i bago ang pandiwang nagsisimula sa katinig.

✅itinuturo, itinimbog, itinatampok, ipinagpapalagay

❌tinuturo, tinimbog, tinatampok, pinagpapalagay

a. "Itinuturo mo sa akin ang kasalananang ginawa mo, ganoon ka ba kakapal? " asik ni Therese.

b. "Alam mo ba? Itinatampok daw ni Mareng Jessica ngayon ang mga memes ni Reign."

5. ✅alaala, katakataka(halaman)

❌ala-ala, kataka-taka

a. Presko pa sa alaala ni Levi ang ginawa niyang pananampal sa kubrador ng utang.

b. Dahil dakilang plantita si Elise, nagtanim siya ng katakataka sa kaniyang bakuran.

6. ❌ano man, nino man, sino man, saan man, kailan man

✔anuman, ninuman, sinuman, saanman, kailanman

a. "Hindi ko makakalimutan ang ginawa mo kailanman! " puno nang emosyong saad ni Princess habang lumuluha.

b. Kung sino man ang tumututol sa kasalang ito ay maari nang lumayas.

7. ✅Natutuhan

❌natutunan

Halimbawa:

a. Hindi pa rin niya tuluyang natutuhan kung paano mahalin ang kaniyang sarili.

8. ✅Komento, konsensiya, koleksiyon, koneksiyon, kompanya

❌kumento, kunsensiya, kuleksiyon, kuneksiyon, kumpanya