My feedbacks mean no offense to the story, and it's author. These are all solely intended for the improvement of your work. If you have any concerns regarding this critique, feel free to message this account. Everything stated here came from my own perspectives and opinions.

yssellen

▪ The title was simple yet has a relevance to the story since it revolves around Selena and Zayne, being pen pals. It also piqued my interest, as a reader, of why is the story entitled 'Sincerely Yours, Andromeda'? Although I've seen numerous stories that entitles 'Sincerely Yours' your story gave a unique presence to me.

▪ I have no problems about the cover, the fonts were readable, and catchy at the same time. I also liked it how the image used - envelope, was used to portray of what the story is about.

▪ But there's this one, small thing I've noticed. There's a badge/sticker on the left corner below, and I salute you for winning in an awards. Though I suggest that you remove the sticker. Why? Because it's not a part of the story, and book cover. You can put a special chapter wherein you'll put the badges you've won, and not in the cover so that it could look more pleasing in the eyes.

▪ The blurb was okay, you were able to deliver it well to the readers such as me. But my only suggestion is, can you use normal fonts instead of fancy ones? Because not all Wattpad users can understand those kind of fonts.

▪ This is what I'm referring to:

▪ I exactly have no idea of what's written inside the 》 《. Changing to normal fonts would be okay.

▪ 'Di ko rin alam kung slow lang ba talaga ako or sadyang walang sense ang dulong part ng blurb mo, which is this one:

▪ This is the part where I got really confused. Why is Selena wearing a hospital gown though she's only a Senior High Student?

▪ Since laging siya ang may point of view sa first five chapters, na-introduce naman siya ng maayos. She's a Strict Vice Preseident of the Student council, and it was shown in the chapters of the story. Kahit nga sa friends niya, strict talaga siya. I also like her personality, she's a strong, and understanding student.

▪ Well, what could I say? In the first chapters, there's a one time that him being a prankster was shown along with his friends. But along the way, biglang nawala ang personality niya ng pagiging prankster. Why is he being nice all of the sudden towards Selena? Is he being considerate or what? Also, the arrogant behavior wasn't shown clearly in the chapters, kaya medyo na-confuse lang ako.

▪ Hindi ko na iisa-isahin pa silang lahat. All of Selena's friends - except Lux, wasn't well introduced to me at first. They all seemed to have same voice, and tones. Tapos sa part na nagkita-kita sila, parang biglang salpak lang. Then they were many, kaya hindi ko matandaan ang iba. If possible, lessen the characters - especially if they have no role in a story. But I guess kailangan sila since it's a series? Just introduce them well, differentiate their personalities, tones, and mood for it to be more vivid, and not vague.

▪ I like it how the story not only revolves around the School premises, but to also other places. You also used the five senses in writing a Setting, kaya imaginable talaga ang bawat senaryo, at fresh.

▪ Hindi siya agad na naipakita sa first five chapters (sa dulo ng chapter five, ay nakita ko na), and it's okay. Ayos lang ang flow niya, papakilala muna ang mga characters, bago sa pen pal event.

▪ Though medyo simple lang siya, and kind of cliche for me. But since I've only read the first five chapters, I'm hoping for it to have uniqueness or a plot twist.

▪ We use "rin, raw, rito, riyan" if the letter before it is ending in a vowel (a, e, i, o, u) kasama rin ang "w, y, u" since they sound like a vowel. While "din, daw, dito, diyan" if the letter before it is a consonant.

Examples:

- Magand naman ang sunset.

- Balita ko, magand ang sunset sa mga probinsiya?

- Mag-study tay, habang maaga pa.

- Maganda b mag-aral?

- Nasa cabine ang mga damit mo.

- Nasa drawekasi, hindi sa cabinet.

- Nasaan ang mga dami? Wala naman.

▪ Ginagamit ang "nang" kapag sinasagot ang tanong na paano, gaano, at umuulit na kilos.

Examples:

- Nag-aaral maayos si Lux.

- Nakapag-aral si Lux maayos.

- Aral aral si Lux dahil exams na bukas.

▪ Ang salitang "ng" naman ay ginagamit kapag sinasagot ang tanong na Ano, at kapag nagsasaad ng pagmamay-ari.

Examples:

- Nag-aral si Lux Chemistry kagabi.

- Kumain pizza si Zayne.

- Nakakabingi ang boses kapit-bahay.

Correct spellings & Formalities of words:

❌ nalang, palang

✔ na lang, pa lang

❌ parin

✔ pa rin

❌ meron

✔ mayroon/mayro'n

❌ prolouge, epilouge

✔ prologue, epilogue (from what I know)

❌ linagay

✔ nilagay

❌ yinakap

✔ niyakap

❌ pinag-gagawa

✔ pinaggagawa ('wag paghiwalayin kung ang kasunod ay consonant)

❌ paguusap

✔ pag-uusap

❌ diba

✔ 'di ba

▪ Have & had:

> Have is used with the prounouns: I, you, we, they. It can also be used pluralized nouns.

Examples:

- I have a story in Wattpad.

- You have a story too, right?

- We have great stories.

- They have the greatest platforms in writing a story.

> Has is used for the third person singular. (She, he, it) it can also be used when you are referring to someone's name.

Examples:

- She has a great story.

- He has a very good story.

- It has a difference when it comes to writing an essay, and a story.

▪ If you're going to use "mag, pag, nag" plus the english word, use a dash (-)

Example:

❌ nag-s-sorry

✔ nagso-sorry

❌ nag-j-jogging

✔ nagja-jogging

❌ nagbreakfast

✔ nag-breakfast

▪ If your going to use a shortcut for words, end it with a dash (-) and capitalize it.

Examples:

❌ univ

✔ Univ. (University)

❌ anniv

✔ Anniv. (Anniversary)

▪ Capitalize the names, titles, places, and dates.

▪ Misspelled Filipino Words and Phrases:

> Kadalasan o palagi ang may u sa pagitan ng k at w.

✅Kuwento, kuweba, kuwaderno, kuwago, engkuwentro

❌Kwento, kweba, kwaderno, kwago, engkwentro

Halimbawa:

- Si Lux ay may kay Selena

- Ang mga mata ni Reid ay nagmistulang sa kuwago dahil siya'y kulang sa tulog.

> Kadalasan o palagi ang may i sa pagitan ng ns at y.

✅Probinsiya, konsensiya, ahensiya, pasensiya, ebidensiya

❌probinsya, konsensya, ahensya, pasensya, ebidensya

Halimbawa:

- Si Lucas ay may hawak na ebidensiya laban kay Sena.

- "Huwag mong ubusin ang pasensiya ni Zayne! Mumurahin ka niyan."

> ✅Mapagpakumbaba

❌Mapagkumbaba

Halimbawa:

- Si Ate Cerise ay isang mapagpakumbabang tao.

> Kadalasan o palagi ang may i bago ang pandiwang nagsisimula sa katinig.

✅itinuturo, itinimbog, itinatampok, ipinagpapalagay

❌tinuturo, tinimbog, tinatampok, pinagpapalagay

- "Itinuturo mo sa akin ang kasalananang ginawa mo, ganoon ka ba kakapal? " asik ni Summer.

- "Alam mo ba? Itinatampok daw ngayon nina Bhie ang TBS."

> ✅alaala, katakataka (halaman)

❌ala-ala, kataka-taka

- Presko pa sa alaala ni Lucas ang ginawa niyang pakikipagsagutan kay Summer.

- Dahil dakilang plantita ang magulang ni Lisbeth, nagtanim sila ng katakataka sa kanilang bakuran.

> ✅ano man, nino man, sino man, saan man, kailanman

❌anuman, ninuman, sinuman, saanman, kailan man

- "Hindi ko makakalimutan ang ginawa mo kailanman!" puno nang emosyong saad ni Selene habang lumuluha.

- Kung sino man ang tumututol sa kasalang ito ay maari nang lumayas.

> ✅Natutuhan

❌natutunan

Halimbawa:

- Hindi pa rin niya tuluyang natutuhan kung paano mahalin ang kaniyang sarili.

> ✅Komento, konsensiya, koleksiyon, koneksiyon, kompanya

❌kumento, kunsensiya, kuleksiyon, kuneksiyon, kumpanya

> Parehong "maya-maya" ang isda at pang-abay. Ginagamitan ng malaking titik ang isda kung gagamitin ito sa isang pangungusap, talata o sulatin kasama ng pang-abay na kapangalan nito. Maaari ding gamitan ito ng malaking titik (na siyang karaniwang paraan ng pagsusulat sa mga species ng isda) kahit hindi nito kasama ang pang-abay na maya-maya.

✅Maya-maya, Maya-Maya (isda)

❌mayamaya, Mayamaya

- Paboritong isda ni Maria ang Maya-maya.

- Maya-maya't lamang ay magkakasundo rin sila.

> Sinu-sino at Anu-ano ang tamang pagbaybay kapag nagtatanong. Sino-sino at Ano-ano naman kapag nagsasalaysay.

✅Sinu-sino ang mga miyembro ng Pinakamamahal na Grupo?

❌Sino-sino, Sino sino, Sinu sino

✅Kung sino-sino na ang nakatikim ng kaniyang putahe.

❌Sinu-sino, Sinu sino, sino sino

> Sino + ang

✅"Sino'ng umubos ng tilapya ko?" tanong ni Aegir.

❌Sinong, Sinung

Sino + na = Sinong

✅Walang kahit na sinong traydor ang puwede sa grupong ito!

❌Sinung, Sino'ng

Ano + ang = Ano'ng

Ano + na = Anong

> ✅Puwede

❌Pwede, Pwide, P'wede, Pupuwede, Pup'wede, Pipwede, Pipuwede

> Hindi dapat pinaghihiwalay ang mga katinig kapag naglalagay ng gitlapi.

✅Plinano, Grinipo, Trinumpo, Brinaso, Trinato, Trinaydor

❌Pinlano, Ginripo, Tinrumpo, Binraso, Tinrato, Tinraydor

- Trinaydor ni Jamie sina Loki

> Ang unlaping i- at gitlaping -in- aynpalagian o kadalasang magkasama. Walang unlaping ini- sa unahan ng mga katinig.

✅ihinahabilin, ilinilihim, ilinathala, ipinaliwanag, idinulog, iginuhit, iginiit, ikinababagabag

❌inihahabilin, inililihim, inilathala, inipaliwanag, inidulog, inigiit, inikababagabag

Hal:

- Isa lamang ang ikinababagabag ni Faith.

> Sa pormal na pagsusulat ay walang unlaping nakaka-. Ag unlaping naka- o nakapag- ay kadalasan o palagiang sinusundan ng inuulit na unang pantig ng salita.

✅Nakatutuwa, Nakatatawa, Nakaaangat, nakabibilib, nakahihigit

❌nakakatuwa, nakakatawa, nakakaangat, nakakabilib, nakakahigit

- "Nakabibilib naman ang naganap na away!" wika ni Joseph

> ✅Tingnan, tainga

❌tignan, tenga

- Piningot ni Hara ang tainga ni Bhie.

> ✅Kaysa, Mayroon

❌Kesa, Keysa, Mayron, Meron, merun, miron, mayro'n

Hal:

- Mas mabuti na lamang ang may magalit sa iyo sa sinabi mong katotohanan kaysa mayroon kang tinatagong kasinungalingan.

▪ TAGS (DIALOGUE, AND ACTION)

A. What is a Dialogue Tag?

1. Also often referred to as an attribution, a dialogue tag is a small phrase either before, after, or in between the actual dialogue itself. It is used to inform the readers who's the speaker of the dialogue.

Example:

» "Who ate my poutine?" asked Lucas.

The phrase "asked Lucas" is the dialogue tag in the sentence.

B. How To Use Dialogue Tags?

Dialogue tags are found in three different places: before, after, or in the middle of dialogue. Depending on where the dialogue tags are, you use different punctuations and capitalization.

1. Tag Before the Dialogue

a. When dialogue tags are before the dialogue, it looks any of these:

» Bhie asked, "Mabait ba ako?"

» Bhie muttered, "I'm nice."

» Sena exclaimed, "That was so amazing!"

b. How it works:

» ALWAYS use a comma after the dialogue tag.

» If the dialogue tag is the beginning of a sentence, capitalize the first letter.

» End the dialogue with the appropriate punctuation (period, exclamation point, or question mark), but keep it INSIDE the quotation marks.

2. Tag After the Dialogue

a. When dialogue tags are used after the dialogue, it looks any of these:

» "Sinong gusto magpakulam?" Sena asked.

» "Good morning, beloveds," said Sena.

» "Kukulamin ko lahat ng mga traydor!" she exclaimed.

b. How it works:

» Punctuation still goes INSIDE quotation marks.

» Unless the dialogue tag begins with a proper noun, it is not capitalized.

» End the dialogue tag with appropriate punctuation, but NEVER end the dialogue with period.

3. Tag in the Middle of the Dialogue

a. When dialogue tags are used in the middle of dialogue, it looks any of these:

» "The car lights," she explained, "aren't bright enough to drive at night."

» "The car lights," Calypso explained, "aren't bright enough to drive at night."

b. How it works:

» A comma is used before the dialogue tag and goes INSIDE quotation marks.

» Unless the dialogue tag begins with a proper noun, it is not capitalized.

» A comma is used after the dialogue tag, OUTSIDE of quotation marks, to reintroduce the dialogue.

» End the dialogue with the appropriate punctuation (period, exclamation point, or question mark), but keep it INSIDE the quotation marks.

NOTE: Ang "Tag in the Middle of the Dialogue " ay applicable lamang kung IISANG SENTENCE lang ang dialogue n'yong hahatiin.

Action Tags: What Are They and How To Use Them

A. What is an Action Tag?

1. Action tags, also called action beats, are an alternative way to identify the speaker. These are sentences that describe theaction of the character who's talking

Example:

» "Goodbye, bro!" He winked.

The sentence "He winked." is the action tag.

B. How To Use Action Tags?

Action tags are found in two different places: before or after the dialogue. Either before or after the dialogue, the action tags always end with a period and start with a capital letter.

1. Tag Before the Dialogue

a. When action tags are before the dialogue, it looks any of these:

» Lucas grabbed my wrist. "Do you still love me?"

» Lucas smiled. "I'm fine."

» His eyes widened. "That was so amazing!"

b. How it works:

» End the action tag with appropriate punctuation. NEVER end the action tag with COMMA.

» Always capitalize the first letter of the action tag.

» End the dialogue with the appropriate punctuation (period, exclamation point, or question mark), but keep it INSIDE the quotation marks.

2. Tag After the Dialogue

a. When action tags are used after the dialogue, it looks any of these:

» "Gusto mo sipain kita?" Joseph curled his fingers into a tight fist.

» "Joke lang, baka mukha ko pa sipain mo." He laughed.

» "Sana all hindi sinipa!" Nanarak ang mga mata ko.

b. How it works:

» Punctuation still goes INSIDE quotation marks.

» Proper noun or not, always capitalize the first letter of the action tag.

» End the action tag with appropriate punctuation.

» Unlike in the dialogue tag, the dialogues here will never end with a comma.

▪ Looks like you know how to use Showing and Telling. But remember to balance them, hindi puwedeng mas maraming show kaysa tell, and vice versa. Napansin ko kasi na kadalasang nagsho-show ka, more than telling. So, balance them well. Ang sobra ay nakakasama.

▪ I love the way you write, and I could clearly see how you're fluent in both languages, mainly in English. Thus the formalities in writing were there, and very understandable.

▪ The story is great, just a couple of technicalities. I also like it how you shift from English to Filipino, it was very smooth and appealing in the eyes. All in all, it was an excellent story!

Hello! Sorry for the long wait, I was busy in online classes, hope you understand.

Anyhow, thank you for letting me criticize your story. I am honestly stunned on how you write this, very commendable, and likeable. I also saw that you'll unpublished it? I hope you can still publish your work, since I really liked it. Expect some accounts to floodvotes on it if ever it wasn't unpublished.

If you have any concerns about this critique, feel free to message me so we could discuss about it.

Thank you, and continue writing!

Sincerely Yours,

ken