My feedbacks mean no offense to the author and it's story. These are solely intended for the betterment of your work. You may find some words offending, so feel free to pm me for any concerns. I am only trying to point out your mistake based on my perspectives.

This contains spoilers, Beware.

Typos and errors ahead as well.

▪ The title was really unique, and catchy for me, wala pa akong nakikitang may ganitong title na kaparehas mo. Also, good job for not capitalizing the word 'the' in your title. All I could say is, simple yet good!

▪ the cover was also beautiful, kitang-kita at mababasa talaga ang title. Though for me, it is not catchy enough since the genre of your story is teen fiction. Parang general fiction lang ang nakita kong vibes sa cover. It was sort of, lacking the main genre of the story.

The way you delivered the blurb was really nice. And it actually made me curious of why is Jack like that towards Calliope? The way you leave some questions in the blurb pushed me to read the story and know why does Jack treat Cal like that.

▪ You said that the genre of your story is teen fiction, well of course it is since the characters are still students. Though I think the story would fit in the romance story since nagpo-focus siya kina Jack at Cal.

▪ I also kinda find the plot cliche but it's good, the way you narrate their thoughts and feelings, excellent I must say!

▪ You described the characters well in the story, especially the mains. They were so vivid to imagine.

▪ My first impression of her was just a normal girl who focuses on studying, but later on, will fall in love with the male lead. I honestly like her personality, I could literally relate some things to her. Nagustuhan ko rin ang pagiging palabiro niya, at close sa mga kaibigan niya, namely Sof and Ham.

▪ Since it was all Cal's perspective, hindi ko alam kung bakit talaga ganoon ang pakikitungo niya kay Cal. Ang alam ko lang is cold and flat-faced siya pagdating kay Cal. Na-imagine ko rin talaga kung ano ang itsura niya thanks to Cal.

▪ I was okay with Val, he is very protective when it comes to his sister, Cal. He was my ideal brother!

▪ My only concern is, medyo nakulangan lang ako ng pagkaka-introduce and describe sa mga kaibigan niya. Though they are not the main, it is important to describe and introduce them.

▪ Medyo nalilito lang kasi ako sa mga voice nila. Parang pare-parehas lang silang lahat ng tone and rhythm of the voice kaya naguguluhan ako kung sino ang nagsasalita.

Use "rin" if the word before it ends in a vowel (a, e, i, o, u) or a consonant that sounds like a vowel - "w" and "y". For the other letters, use "din".

▪ The reason for "w" and "y" is because they can produce sounds like the vowels "u" and "i", respectively, as word endings. For example, "araw" may sound like "arau" and "bahay" may sound like "bahai".

❌ palang

✔ pa lang

❌ na lang

✔ na lang

▪ When we are using the words nag, pag, and mag, + the english word, do not forget to use dash (-). (From what I know)

❌ magsosorry

✔ magso-sorry

❌ magthank you

✔ mag-thank you

❌ magjejet ski

✔ magje-jet ski

▪ Also the action, and dialogue tags. Nakakaligtaan lang ito minsan sa ibang chapter. We use period (.) If the sentence is indicating an action of the character. And comma (,) if it's only a dialogue. We could use exclamation points, question marks, et cetera in both tags.

▪ I like the way how you shift from english, to tagalog. I could also see how you are fluent in english. And you used formalities in writing every chapter kaya hindi boring basahin ang kada chapters since kaabang-abang sila.

▪ I've noticed that you also used the five senses when it comes to writing the setting if the story, it seems so fresh and very imaginable.

> Your story has great potential! Just take time to edit the small errors so that readers could see how hardworking you are when writing every chapters.

Ken'nichiwa! Congratulations, your story really reached my liking! I was at awe when I'm ready every chapter. It's very joyous and splendid!

Kindly pm me after on my main account so we could discuss more about this.

Again, thank you for letting me criticize your story although I didn't see any major errors as such. If you have concerns regarding this critique, kindly pm me so I would know.

Continue shining, and writing until you've embraced the precious and luminous future that's waiting for you.

Thank u!