My feedbacks mean no offense to the story and author. These are solely intended for the betterment of your work. You may find some words offending, so feel free to pm me so we can discuss about your concerns. I am only trying to point out your mistakes based on my perspective.

This contains spoilers, Beware.

Typos and errors ahead as well.

▪ The title was too simple, and kinda cliché for me. Marami na kasi akong nakita na may title na kaparehas mo talaga. Though it has a relevance to your story since a spark of love will happen between the female lead and male lead. Maybe search for a deeper term of Spark or love? Para naman may uniqueness ang story mo.

The cover was beautiful, from the manipulation, blending, and fonts. But the only issue is, your genre is Teen Fiction, and the cover doesn't bring the teenfic vibes. Kasi kadalasan sa mga teen fiction ay kabataan-- highschool kids kumbaga. Pero sa cover kasi, parang drama and romance genre siya. I honestly do not feel any teen fiction aura in the book cover itself.

▪ Also, you described Winter as a Bad Girl, but in the cover, why does it look like it's the complete opposite? Kasi kapag sinabing bad girl, malakas ang dating, at fierce looking, 'yong parang nakakatakot tingnan. Also Louiegie (correct me if I'm wrong in spelling the name) nerd siya, pero bakit mukhang idol sa cover? For me, the looks of the characters are not quite accurate to the description.

▪ Changing the book cover would be nice, for it to be accurate to the genre, and story.

When I've read the blurb, it was honestly, really, cliché for me. Where the bad girl would bully or get irritated to the nerd, then when she comes to realization, she fell in love with the nerd and changed. Or the nerd boy isn't completely a nerd, maybe it's using a disguise or something. 'Yan ang unang pumasok sa isipan ko tungkol sa akda mo. And of course they would fall in love, that's the purpose of one's story.

▪ Overall, you delivered your blurb well, except for the grammatizations that can be fixed.

▪ I tried to revise it, and it's up to you if you'll use my revision.

Winter is known for being the Bad Girl in their school. She enjoys humiliating, and bullying others. Don't mess with her, if you don't want to see the psycho that lies inside her. Many had tried to expel her from their school, even though they knew that they will not succeed because the School's owner is her father.

On the other side, Louiegie is known for being the Nerd. All he ever did was to make his parents proud, and do boring things that a Nerd can do. But is he really a good for nothing nerd? Or the complete opposite of the word Nerd?

On Winter's 17th birthday, it is announced that she and Louiegie shall be engaged once she turns 18, which made Winter upset, and annoyed.

How can the Bad Girl stop the engagement that has been made between her and the Nerd? Can she really stop it, or will something happen that'll cancel the engagement? If so, what could it be?

▪ Based from the first five chapters, I could say that the plot is cliché, and overused by many aspiring writers. Kasi blurb pa lang, may mape-predict ka nang mangyayari. Ganoon din sa title, may pagka-Spoiler siya. Na para bang ma-i-in love sila sa isa't isa.

▪ I suggest you put a plot twist in the story for it to have uniqueness, to catch the readers attention.

▪ The characters were so vague. I could not imagine them well.

▪ When you said that she's a bad girl in the blurb, hindi ko gaanong naramdaman na rude talaga siya or 'yong astig ang dating. Kasi kadalasan sa mga bad girl ay palaging nambu-bully, o 'di kaya'y ma-attitude amg behavior. Pero base sa chapter 1-5, hindi ko gaanong naramdaman ang personality ng isang Bad Girl sa kaniya.

▪ And how could she be a bad girl if her friends were nice and all? Hindi ba't dapat may background muna siya kung bakit siya naging isang bad girl? She seemed like a normal girl with issues.

▪ Her character was also vague. You could've described her appearance; the color of her eyes, hair, and skin, how thick is her eyebrows, or what kind of clothes does she wear. Kasi kapag hindi natin nailalagay ito, hindi mai-imagine ng mga mambabasa kung paano nila ipo-portray ang isang karakter.

▪ Since puro point of view ni Winter, hindi gaanong na-describe si Lou. (i prefer to call him this) Para sa akin kasi, hindi sapat ang pagkaka-describe na magulo ang buhok niya, at nakasalamin. Typical description lang ang ibinigay mo. P'wede mo rin namang i-describe sa pamamagitan ng POV ni Winter kung paano nananamit si Lou, anong kulay ng buhok, mata, at kutis.

▪ Bigla silang ipinasok sa story. There wasn't a mere description of the two. Like what makes them different? Paano nila nakilala si Winter? What are the things in common about them? What're their personalities and hobbies? Since there was no description of the two, they were vague as well.

▪ Pati ro'n sa breakup ng boyfriend ni Flinn na si Marco, You could've gave the readers a head-ups about the relationship of Flinn and Marco. Ang bilis lang kasi no'ng pacing ng mga characters para sa akin.

▪ I noticed that the Characters lack emotions and description, which is very important when it comes to writing. Emotions and feelings are very important to reach your readers. I suggest you put more emotions and feelings when to comes to your characters, especially the protagonists. Kasi hindi naman sila robot na sasabihing "malungkot ako," kapag malungkot (or any other feelings) ang isang karakter, kailangang masagot ang mga tanong na: Bakit sila malungkot? Ano ang nakakalungkot sa karakter? Gaano siya naapektuhan?

▪ Know the right use of the words rin, din, daw, at raw.

▪ Use "rin" if the word before it ends in a vowel (a, e, i, o, u) or a consonant that sounds like a vowel - "w" and "y". For the other letters, use "din".

▪ The reason for "w" and "y" is because they can produce sounds like the vowels "u" and "i", respectively, as word endings. For example, "araw" may sound like "arau" and "bahay" may sound like "bahai".

❌ palang, nalang

✔ pa lang, na lang

▪ Know the past, present, and future perfect tenses.

- Past perfect tenses is a verb tense which is used to show that an action took place once or many times before another point in the past. Read on for detailed descriptions, examples, and present perfect exercises.

The past perfect is formed using had. Questions are indicated by inverting the subject and had. Negatives are made with not.

Examples:

• She had studied japanese before moving to Tokyo, Japan.

- The past perfect expresses the idea that something occurred before another action in the past. It can also show that something happened before a specific time in the past.

Examples:

• I never such a beautiful beach before I went to Kauai.

• I did not have any money because I my wallet.

- The is a verb tense used for actions that will be completed before some other point in the future.

Example:

The parade by the time Chester gets out of bed. At eight o'clock I .

▪ Also the Active, and passive voice.

▪ if you are using the word didn't, the word after it should be present, not past. Because 'did' is already a past word (tense). Same goes for shouldn't, couldn't, etc.

Example:

❌ I didn't saw you yesterday.

✔ I didn't see you yesterday.

❌ I shouldn't greeted you.

✔ I shouldn't greet you.

❌ I could't found my lipstick!

✔ I couldn't find my lipstick!

▪ Also, when you've finished writing a sentence or paragraph, end it with a period.

:

▪ Honestly, it seemed like your writing in a diary. I don't know why, but it seemed like that to me. Maybe it's because you lack the settings, description, and showing. And there were some sentences that have some errors, especially the grammars.

▪ I also noticed that you don't have any particular setting of the story. Nagla-lack talaga sa pagde-describe, at settings. Try to describe of what the places, and people look like for it to be more vivid. In writing the setting, use the five senses; sight, sound, smell, touch and taste para naman imaginable siya sa mga readers mo.

▪ Overall, the narration needs improvement, and more formality.

> Your story is good, though it lacks some things that a story should have. It can be edited and revised, so take time to do that.

Ken'nichiwa! I was in the mood again to critique a story haha.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to critique your story. I hope you can take my honest feedbacks as a motivation to improve your work. If you have concerns about this criticism, feel free to chat me here or on my main account.

Continue writing, and never give up. Fly high and reach your sparkling future.

Thanks!