I held the knife against my chest with shaky hands, the tip of the blade aimed directly at my heart.

Maybe I should just end it. End my suffering, and the suffering I've caused everyone around me. I don't deserve this life, and I certainly don't deserve Chase and Fabian's love.

I've done so many horrible things recently. I terrorised the young shifter when he was at his most vulnerable. I let him get taken away again. I- I've hurt him so much I've lost count of all the incidents, yet still he offers me his sweet, kind smile and tells me it's okay.

But this time, I went too far. I forced Chase to mark him, and this time, he didn't tell me everything would be okay. This time, he gazed at me with pain in his eyes.

But... what will suicide achieve? It may release me from my personal suffering, but in turn it will cause others to be hurt again because of me... And they may feel responsible, even though it will be decision, my choice alone.

I pretend to be strong. But I hurt others with my words and actions in order to feel strong. But now I release how truly destructive that behaviour is.

Liliana... Chase... Fabian...

Slowly, I put the knife back into the bedside draw. I have a future with Chase and Fabian, and I won't allow self pity to destroy that future.

I will become truly strong. And I will live.

In the end, I was able to put my hatred aside and reason with Lukah, Doctor Redi, and his main team of researchers. They may have done some horrible things in the past, but I can't kill them, that's not me. Everybody makes mistakes, some greater than others, but we can all seek redemption.

The vampire doctor may have had plans to breed young shifters from artificial shifters in order to create a slave market, but he swears that he didn't think through the implications, and is truly sorry for the whole ordeal. He talked about his children, and couldn't bear the thought of something like this happening to them.

And I'm inclined to believe him. See, the doctor was only reunited with his children a month ago, and said he'd wanted to quit this job since, as the eldest had made him see sense. But he couldn't, because the job was his only income. But that doesn't explain why he was so horrible to me. Maybe it's because he's always treated me that way, it was easier to detach himself.

Anyway, the deal is that the lab staff be disbanded immediately, except Doctor Redi and his team. They will take Lukah and all the other people who were experimented on and deemed 'failed' and either try and reverse the transformation, or fix them, if they wanted that. He offered to help me too, but I declined. I've had enough of being experimented on, and I'm happy as I am.

In addition, after the final changes are complete, all serums and records were to be destroyed. However, Chase and Zion are ensuring that they will be checked up on every now and then to make sure they're really doing what they say.

Afterwards, we rounded up the escaped shifters and took them all to my old leap house, until they could find homes of their own. It saddened me a little, as I'd kept everything carefully preserved in the hope of my families' return, plus the house and my own memories was all I had left of them. But I knew I was doing the right thing, it's what my mother and father would have wanted me to do. In the end, it's just a house.

Speaking of family, I wish I could have saved mine, but I don't know where any of them are. They all either got sold off as slaves and pets to vampires, or were being experimented on. And I didn't see anyone I recognised come out of the lab, so I'm assuming they didn't make it. Anyway, I can't save everyone, like Chase and Zion said before.

We then checked and checked again every floor of the lab, ensuring nobody was left behind. And when we were satisfied, we headed home.

Barely able to keep my eyes open, I held my hands up towards Chase and opened and closed them a few times, wanting to be picked up. He sighed and gave me a smile, giving in.

He held me so our front were pressed together and my limbs were wrapped around his back. I snuggled into his neck, closing my eyes. Damn, has he always smelt this good?

"Hey, Chase? Zion?" I whispered sleepily.

"Yes?" They asked in sync, and I could almost feel their eyes on me.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you recently. You're both really important to me, and I'm sorry for going behind your back and saying all the nasty things I said. You have every right to hate me yet you still treat me like a princess, and I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. But even though you haven't brought it up since, I'm truly sorry for everything, and I just wanted to say that I'm in love with you. Both of you. You've proven yourselves time and time again, and I rejected you, I hurt you. I can't promise I'll be perfect, but can you forgive me?" I finished, tears starting to leak from my eyes as I balled up my hands in Chase's shirt even tighter.

Chase stopped walking and there was a moment of silence, before I felt myself being transferred into another person's arms where I ended up being carried bridal style.

Gazing up, my eyes met Zion's, who was almost in tears too.

"Thank you" he whispered, holding me close. "Thank you for accepting me and sticking with me when nobody else did. I love you with all my heart, which is why I was such an asshole because I was scared of losing you. But from now on, I'm going to try my best to change. I'm going to push aside my past and put my faith in you, Fabian. I swear it"

I choked back a sob, wrapping my arms around him as best I could. Wow, I never knew he felt so strongly about our relationship...

"Same goes for me, my love" Chase hummed, stroking my hair aside with the back of his hand. "Nobody is perfect, but we love you just the way you are. Zion and I have messed up countless times when it comes to you, but that's because we care so damn much about you, it's scary. But still you forgive us every time, even when we really don't deserve it"

Wiping tears from my eyes, I smiled back at them, albeit a wobbly smile due to the fact I was trying to hold back more tears.

"I love you both so much" I sobbed, letting my tears flow.

And I meant every word.

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This isn't the end yet, don't panic! I intend to write at least 2 more chapters 🤗