《The Lone Survivor》Chapter 27.5 - Guilt

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I had to hold back tears as I undressed Fabian, terrified of what I might find.

When I'd finally managed to get him home -with him kicking and screaming the whole way- I gave him some juice with a sleeping pill dissolved inside. I didn't want to do it, but it's the only way I'm going to be able to examine him without being physically and verbally attacked.

Lifting his shirt over his head, I was shocked to find that the poor boy's back had been graffitied on. Whore, slut, faggot, fuck toy, unnatural, broken, fake and orphan were amongst the obscenities littering his pale skin. It broke my heart to see, but I was thankful the words were only scrawled in ink pen, not tattooed like I'd first though. Still, how anyone could do this to another person blew my mind. It sickened me.

The rest of his body was untouched, or so I thought until I pulled down his underwear. There, I found that Lukah had plugged him, obviously to keep his vile seed inside for me to find. Choking back a sob at the state of the poor shifter I've grown to care so much about, I carefully removed the plug.

Immediately, the disgusting substance began to seep out, along with bloody, red streaks. "Oh Fabian... I wish I could've protected you better..." I whispered, brushing his hair out of his face before picking him up and carrying him to the bathroom, where I already had a bath ready for him.

I'm determined not to cry. The longer my eyes linger on Fabian, the more rage builds inside me, and I'm going to save all that rage for Lukah. What a repulsive creature he turned out to be. Unfortunately, he won't be alive much longer, though death seems almost like a reward for him, an escape.

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Fabian deserved better. He deserved to be loved and cared for, not abused and raped. And I feel like I let him down. He put his faith in me, and I couldn't even protect him...

Guilt consumed me, and I let my face fall into my hands. It's my fault that Zion is gone, and Fabian hates me. It's my fault they both got hurt.

"Hey! Big brother, play with me?" Zion begged, tugging on my winter coat with a huge grin on his face.

"The usual?" I asked, returning his grin. He nodded eagerly, and I began to draw out a large circle in the snow with my foot, carefully drawing a line down the middle.

He took his place on the right of the line, and I stood on the left. "Go!" He yelled suddenly, startling me.

He took advantage of my shock, and easily tackled me out of the circle and onto the cold yet soft snow.

"Cheater! I wasn't ready!" I exclaimed, shoving him off me and dusting myself off as I got to my feet.

"Yeah? Well when we wrote the rules, you didn't state that the other person had to be ready, only that you begin on go! So I still win, fair and square!" He gloated triumphantly, sticking his fingers out in the shape of an L.

"Such a modest winner" I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"Hey big brother?" Zion said after a moment of silence. "Promise you'll always be there to protect me, okay? I don't want to ever be apart from you."

Dammit, I miss him so much... I remember that day so well. We were both nine years old at the time, and it was almost Christmas. God, I miss those naive, innocent years...

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I signed, pushing my thoughts aside as I thoroughly cleaned the small boy, inside and out. When I'm done, they'll be no trace of Lukah anywhere in or on his body, that's for damn sure.

A while later, I was finally satisfied, I lifted Fabian from the now lukewarm water and wrapped him in a huge bath towel that swamped his small form. I then proceeded to lay him on our -my- bed, after I'd brushed his beautiful, silky hair. I definitely have a low-key obsession with this boy.

I'd just got comfy beside him when I heard a knock on the front door, and I couldn't help but groan. It's probably father, coming to check up on us since I didn't report back to him the second I got back. And I don't know how I'm going to tell him the news.

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