When you force people to do something against their will, they will eventually act out against you. You must truly understand people and speak to what drives them to get them on your side.

Advertising in the 1900s used to only show that a product existed, its key features, and the price. Once there was greater competition, ads evolved to be more emotional, selling an image or lifestyle associated with products.

Over time, marketing has become even more powerful by speaking to people's psychological needs and fears. Brands become such a part of a person's identity, they can't live without them. On Melrose street in Los Angeles, a woman was stabbed at a Nike shoe release. For other products, such as deodorant and mouthwash, the marketing message appeals to our fear of being socially ostracized.

By understanding and speaking to human desires and emotions, marketing has become a powerful force to influence not only what buy but how we live our lives. Oftentimes we don't even recognize it's control.

I've worked with people who have climbed the ladder by strong-arming others and throwing people under the bus. But it becomes a problem when someone they've mistreated climbs the ranks as well. I've been that person, and I remember.

But this story is not about that. Instead, it's about the people who have won my loyalty at work. I thought it would be important to think about who they were to me, to see if there are lessons to be uncovered about winning hearts and minds.

My Secret Agent: When there was an employee who tried to plot against me, this person heard the conversations and told me what was going on. I was able to prepare a counter attack, while making sure to protect my source.

The Mentor: The experienced boss or coworker who is knowledgeable but also just loves to talk. If you talk to them with patience and curiosity, you just might learn something.

The Safe Place: These are people from other departments where there's no direct competition or conflict of interest. Usually they are folks who don't take themselves too seriously, and are kind to those around them.

The Admired Leader: When a leader is respected by others and not just their team, I think that's someone I can learn from.

The Social Connector: This person knows everyone and can get you down the shortest path to what you need. People like this have been so helpful, they inspired me to pay it forward.