Full moon was glowing in the early morning skies. The winter short days delayed the eminent sunrise. Darkness etched across the Celtic city even at the early hours of morn. Susan gazed out the glass balcony doors that overlooked the Liffey River and the urban landscape of Dublin. Last night Daud didn't further question her about him. Her nerves were on the edge waiting for Daud to probe. In the glass door, Daud's reflection stood behind her. Their eyes met. She took a deep breath and turned around to face her husband.

"I never told you." Her gaze slid downwards. She was ashamed to reveal the ugliness of her family. "He is addicted..." her voice trailed off.

Daud stood motionless, waiting for her to go on.

"Drugs...it's been..." her eyes scanned the clean wooden floor as her mind recalled the horrified past, "nearly 15 years. Since the death of our parents, he just slipped away. Spent more time with friends... the wrong kind of friends which eventually led him from good to bad to worse."

She was hot suddenly, her hands perspiring. She loosened the hijab that was still tightly wrapped around her head after Fajr salah. "When you supported me and Yousef, there were times he came to me in desperation for money. I ... I ..." she was mortified of revealing further but she had to go on, "I gave him whatever I could. But when you left, he persisted even when I had nothing. He even stole from me, forced his way in the house and took whatever he could find. That's when I started to resist him. He didn't know my previous address but now I guess he found out about our wedding and was here."

Tentatively, she glanced at him, Daud's penetrating gaze pierced through her.

She hastily added, "I didn't give him anything."

He imperceptibly nodded and took a step closer.

She didn't want to reinforce his belief that she was shallow who used his money in the wrong sense. "I ... I ... am sorry I gave him your hard earned money."

He took another step closer.

"You don't have to worry I will never do it again." She said breathlessly as he took the final step towards her, closing all distances.

His warm hands firmly gripped her upper arms making her look up in his fierce blue eyes, "I don't care what you do with your money. I gave it to you for yourself and Yousef. If you believed you could have helped your brother by giving him money. I understand." He shook his head slowly, " I don't care about money. I care for your and Yousef's safety. I didn't like the way he treated you. He has no compassion for his sister." His fingers trailed up to her shoulders touching her bare skin above the collar of her pyjama top. "Promise me you will never let him come in our home. I don't trust him. I don't want anything happening to you or Yousef." His fingers brushed against her neck, a shiver passed down her back.

His hands cradled her face, "Promise me Susan."

The doubts that lingered at the back of her head were easing as she saw the concern he had for her and their son, "I promise."

He kissed her sealing their promise.

****

Salman's eyebrows drew together and his forehead wrinkled in concentration as he read the report on the laptop screen. Idly, his left hand fingers tapped on desk as he scrolled down the report. Biting his lower lip, he was intercepting and analysing the figures on the screen. That's when he felt her. Her unique scent even before her hands glided down his chest.

Nawal perched on the arm rest of the black leather swivel chair and breathed in his ear, "You have a wife waiting for you," she playfully nipped his earlobe.

The tips of his lips tilted upwards. His hand on the mouse stilled. "I am a busy man." He replied huskily. He glanced at the clock and winced, it was past midnight. He had again lost track of time while he was working in the home office.

"Maybe a little distraction is what you need," she whispered, her lips barely touching him just below his ear. Her hand slithered down his arm and gripped his hand above the mouse. His hold on the mouse loosened, his smile broadening, in one quick move he pushed back his chair and pulled her on his lap.

She squealed in surprise.

"Now Mrs Siddique, what do you have in mind?" he tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. His eyes danced with mischief as heat crept up her face. His index finger slowly was tracing down her neck, flaming her skin further.

She loosely draped her arms around his neck, leaning forward her forehead touched his. She lightly rubbed the tip of her nose with his, "Rania is asleep... so..." her voice trailed off and her eyes sparkled with the unsaid suggestion.

His fingers drummed at her lower back where her skin was exposed under her t-shirt. With a straight face he suggested, "Time for our ice cream?"

She burst into laughter. Her shoulders shaking with mirth, her head slumped against his shoulder.

"You are obsessed with ice cream." Her voice muffled against his t-shirt.

He pulled the ribbon from her braid. His fingers loosening it. He loved her unruly curly hair. "There is greater pleasure in sharing with you."

She bit her lip and cocked her eyebrow, "Or is it you don't want me to eat ice cream alone anymore."

His teeth grazed her nape, "I want us to share all kinds of pleasure in life together." His hand tightened on her hips and pulled her closer.

A whisper away from his lips, she enticed him, "We can have ice cream in bed."

This time his laughter echoed in the quiet study room. "My naughty Nawal."

That night she proved him how naughty she can be.

****

Preparations were under way for the aqiqa. The venue was selected, theme decided and food assortment in the buffet was confirmed. The next step was to send the invitations to the guests. The guest list was approved by Adil and Muhammad. Salman was tight lipped even though he condemned as to invitation being sent out to Daud. But he had no control over it, he couldn't argue and throw tantrums with the elders in the house. He just hoped and prayed that Daud wouldn't show up.

A week was left for the aqiqa, when Muhammad knocked on Salman's study room door. Salman's head whipped up from the laptop screen and glanced at his father standing at the doorway.

"Abou?"

"Do you have a minute?"

Salman curtly nodded. Muhammad sauntered in the room and settled on the chair opposite his son. Salman studied his father as he took his time to express the reason for the intrusion in his study.

After several minutes, Muhammad black eyes gazed at his son. There were many qualities of Salman he was proud of. But perhaps, some of these qualities were strongly ingrained within him which brought in negative traits. He was a ruthless and shrewd businessman but those very traits could damage and destruct relationships.

"There comes a time in our lives where we need to value family and one's kin."

Salman stiffened and slowly straightened on his chair, "Abou please. I don't want to discuss him."

Muhammad shook his head in melancholy, "He is blood Salman. Your brother whether you accept it or not."

"Where was brotherhood when he went after my wife time again and again?" Salman bit out.

"He had his reasons which we don't approve of but he is a changed man now. A family man with his wife and child. Give him a chance Salman."

Salman's hand curled into fists on top of the desk. He was breathed hard and controlling his temper.

"Forgive him Salman."

Salman clenched his teeth but before he could jibe, Muhammad added in, "For the sake of Allah, son. Be the better man and forgive him." With that Muhammad pushed his chair back and stood up.

Salman nodded tersely and tore his gaze away from his father's piercing eyes.

Muhammad whirled to leave the room and was arrested to see Nawal stepping in the room. Her white stricken face was an indication she heard the conversation. Muhammad walked up to her and murmured under his breath, "I hope you can cool his anger."

Alarmed, Nawal's eyes widened. Never had Muhammad shown any kind of trust towards her. Since her accident he had been a fatherly figure that was missing in her husband's household. Now he was trusting her to be able to change Salman's disposition. This was impossible... as she meekly eyed at her husband.

Without further affirmation from Nawal, Muhammad walked out of the room leaving the couple in solitude and an eerie silence. Nawal's mind was racing, she didn't know how to make Salman understand. Their relationship had finally strengthened but she fret it may be too fragile for such a turbulence.

She took her time in closing the door, they needed the privacy. Hesitantly, she approached her husband. Salman was hunched over the desk. His face buried in his hands.

"Salman?" she touched his arm as she leaned against the edge of the desk beside him. Stunned, Salman straightened and raised his eyebrows inquisitively.

"Khalu is right Salman. Let bygones be bygones. We..." There was a slight tightening in jaw. She faltered to go on. Swallowing, she took a deep breath for courage, "We need to move on."

He turned the other way. Blankly staring at the book shelf at the far end of the room. There was a storm brewing within him. But for his wife's sake he kept his lips sealed. He was aware if he said anything now he would regret it later.

Gingerly, she touched his shoulder. "I will never know what you went through then. I can never imagine. The feelings I have for you now, I can't bear to think of you with someone else. But know this Salman, he did it to spite you. He was never sincere and I doubt he ever felt anything for me. I was a means to an end. As for me..."

He didn't move.

What she was about to express needed him to see her. Her trembling hand touched the side of his face. His beard teasing her palm. She turned his face to her.

"What I feel for you can never be compared. I thought I loved him. But I was wrong, utterly wrong. You are my sunshine Salman. My ray of hope, love and happiness. He was merely a star in the darkened sky which shone brightly from afar but when coming near it I would have scorched and I nearly did until you pulled me out and strengthened the broken woman."

Tears gathered in her eyes, her eyelashes moistened.

His thumb rubbed right below her eye, "Don't. I hate your tears."

"Forgive him Salman. You will be at peace then." She rasped as her lower lip quivered.

He imperceptibly nodded.

She closed her eyes and sighed in relief. He gathered her in his arms and comforted her.

He will forgive for her sake... but would he ever forget the deception?

****

"I see you have reduced your smoking," Ibrahim folded his arms in front of him, standing by his son in his backyard on the bright winter day. The fruit tree stood in their naked glory. There was no sight of the usual flowers or scents. Instead only an evergreen tree was the thriving being in the backyard garden in the sub-zero temperature.

It was Sunday, Daud and his family was over at his parent's home. It had become a tradition to spend Sunday at his parent's place where Yousef was pampered by his parents and Susan chatted amiably with his parents. It was a delight to see how his parents were more entranced with Susan and Yousef than himself. He was perfectly happy with that. In fact, he loved it.

Daud took the last puff of the cigarette and shrugged nonchalantly, "Ya... well... Susan."

Ibrahim smiled thoughtfully, "That is a trait of a good wife. She pushes you to become a better man."

A smile touched Daud's lips. She wasn't just a good wife. She was a bloody wonderful wife who left no room for any kind of complaints. He snubbed the cigarette and threw it in the garden bin. He expectantly rose his eyebrow and drawled, "I assume you have something specific to speak to me." He knew his father well. Ibrahim never accompanied Daud when he smoked.

"Salman's daughter's aqiqa is next week."

Daud's jaw clenched.

"I am sure you received the invitation."

Daud took several steps away from his father, "I am not going."

"Aba jee wants you there." Ibrahim pressed.

Daud looked over his shoulder, "I will call and give him my excuse."

"Daud let go of the past. How long will you burn in this fury?"

His hands on his sides balled into fists. He spun around and said through gritted teeth, "I don't burn anymore. Alhumdulilah I don't need their love or support. I have my own family. A wife who loves me and a child who worships the ground I walk on."

Ibrahim took the steps nearing his son, "My son having grievousness in our heart only make us miserable."

"Forgive your Dada jaan. He is growing weaker day by day."

Daud winced. Deep down that revelation hurt. No matter how indifferent he maybe he had always looked up to his Dada jaan. He was the epitome of success from a man who had nothing except for his wife and children when he landed in this country to a man who had created halal food empire being exported around Europe and beyond.

"I am sure Salman doesn't want me there. I will go and see Dada jaan sometime this week."

"You need to apologize to Salman as well."

Daud shook his head slowly.

"Why would you want to continue this rage when you said yourself you are content with your life."

He ran his hand through his hair. Susan's words flashed back,

"The doors for forgiveness are always open until we go to grave. Don't look back Daud let us work towards a better future and even brighter hereafter. I am selfish. This lifetime isn't enough, I want you as my husband in the next life too."

He was learning through his wife's eyes when Allah could forgive so could we. Allah knows how sinful he was. He had even admitted to Susan but she had placed her hand on his lips and said she didn't want to know. Let it be between him and Allah alone.

His shoulders sagged in defeat, "Alright I will be there."

This was the most difficult step he would be taking in his life. Curbing his pride for the sake of others. But he will do this only because his wife was teaching him it was far better to be humble than a conceit.

"Dinner is ready," Susan called standing at the doorway of the kitchen overlooking the backyard.

Daud's eyes lit up and his heart thudded a little faster. Even now months after his wedding, the sight of his wife had an effect on him. More than a little effect.

He ambled to her. Smiling, he whispered, "You are too good."

She frowned not understanding him.

He kissed her forehead. He would have kissed her properly but he knew his father was right behind him. He draped his arm around her shoulders and steered her to the kitchen. With her by his side, he knew he would be able to achieve the impossible.

***

Standing in front of the toilet sink, her hands shook. Susan pursed her lips tightly. Her eyes glued on the test. Her heart beating frantically. This can't be happening. No she was just being paranoid. Her breath hitched as the test slowly revealed the result. She gasped and hastily covered her mouth with her hand so that no one heard her outside the bathroom.

It was positive.

She rubbed her forehead and pushed back her hair. How did it happen? She smiled sardonically, of course it was bound to happen. What did she expect that they weren't using any kind of protection at all. It had been only four months since their wedding and two month since they were sexually active.

To other married couples, this would be a joyous moment the culmination of their desires. But she was anxious, not once during these four months had Daud spoken of more children. He adored Yousef and gave him his undivided attention. But... she just didn't know what to expect of Daud's reaction when she will break this news to him.

She took a deep breath, well it was not her fault alone. It takes two to make a baby. If Daud was irresponsible about contraception he would have to accept it.

"Susan," Daud called.

With shaky fingers, she dumped the pregnancy test in the toilet waste bin. "Coming," she called out and hurriedly washed her hands and walked out.

"I gave him Coco puffs. He was hungry," Daud was saying as he ruffled Yousef's hair as the boy devoured his chocolate flavoured cereal. He glanced at his wife and forehead creased, "You okay?"

She was pale, colour had drained out of her face.

Say it, say it now! Her mind rebelled but she wasn't able to voice out the announcement. Instead, she waved her hand, "Ya fine, why don't you wash up and I will get our breakfast ready."

Nodding thoughtfully, Daud ambled to the toilet. He brushed his teeth, washed his face and he squirted the shaving cream from the nearly empty tube nothing came out. He opened the lid of the toilet waste bin to throw the tube and he stilled.

His eyebrows drew together, he bent down and extracted the top most item from the bin.

It was a positive pregnancy test.

Why didn't she tell me?

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