Dublin the city of writers, history had depicted it gloomy and bleak but to Seema's eyes the city was beautiful and magnificent with its age old buildings which may look grey but they told a story as they stood tall bracing the different calamities the city had endured. Or the waters of River Liffey passing by the City Centre was the lifeline where people had settled from ancient times. First the Vikings, then the English and finally gaining independence and be known as the Irish.

In the windy autumn day of October, Seema strolled down the lane leading to her home from school dressed in a bright blue cardigan that highlighted the Warrenmount Secondary School crest, white dress shirt, a pleated navy blue skirt going down to the tops of her calves and navy blue tights accompanied with threadbare leather black shoes.

The Georgian houses stood tall majestically on either sides of the street along with pear tears adorning the front gate of each house. The small front gardens outside each house were littered with various coloured flying leaves. There were hardly any cars on the street, it was much too expensive for families to own cars in this locality. Rather people walked or used the bus.

Ferociously, a gale rustled Seema's skirts, wisps of hair escaped her tightly knotted braid, and she clutched her books to her chest securely withstanding the strong winds. She had shut her eyes firmly to bear the change in the weather as the leaves danced and the branches of the pear tears swung. It took a few minutes, for the winds to settle, she peered from one eye just few houses away from her home and saw her elder sister laughing with her group of friends.

Ducking her head, her feet hastened to reach home before she was to face them again. But as she passed them, they ridiculed none the less.

"Look Ghaz, your nerd sista is here!" mocked the tall blonde dressed in her wide white bell bottom pants and neon coloured jacket.

The red haired girl in her long boots and bright pink short skirt, sneered, "Teach her some fashion, will ya!"

Wavy curls that were brushed in puffy hairstyle were wafting in the autumn breeze, concealing her face. Red painted nails hand gracefully swiped the hair from her face. Ghazala was the immaculate beauty with her curly locks, light brown eyes, high cheekbones and pointed chin. Her height and slim figure gave her the advantage of being able to carry any dress easily. Even now, her long shapely legs were encompassed in a wide bottom yellow high waist pants emphasizing her slim waist accompanied by dull red cardigan. She was in her push up bra that made her breasts even more prominent in the tight cardigan. She was admired by men of all ages around her. She loved the attention a little too much.

Chewing bubble gum, Ghazala eyed her sister distastefully and then rolled her eyes, "She is an airhead."

Seema cringed inwardly and rushed to her house. Her sister and her friends always bullied her. There was no sisterly bond between them. In fact, as long as Seema remembered Ghazala had been the rebel while Seema being the middle child loved her solitude. Ghazala was the attention seeker whether at home where she argued with her parents at all times or with her friends were she was main attraction among men and women.

In the house, Seema walked past her Mom's cousin who was minding them while her parents were away for Hajj. Her parents had a desire to be able to go on the Islamic pilgrimage but they were never able to save enough. After years of struggle, their father worked at the clothing shop and their mother stitched and mended clothes that they were able to afford to go on the pilgrimage. But the problem was how could they leave their children alone? It was then decided, their Mom's spinster cousin would come from UK and look after them. Seema didn't interact much with the aunty. Ghazala was shouted at but she just ignored her and their 10 year old brother Jamal was the only one that aunty whole-heartedly took care of.

In the two bedroom tiny flat, the family of five lived. The children shared one bedroom while the parents shared the other. The kitchenette and living room were in one and the bathroom was so diminutive that only one person could stand in it. It was cramped space for them, but they had to make do with it as life was difficult for Pakistani immigrants residing in Ireland. A country that was in grips of poverty at the time.

Seema threw her books on her bed and went up to the mirror. Despondently, her eyes roved over her face. Pulling out the ribbon from her hair, she loosened her braid. She wasn't a nerd. If Ghazala could look beautiful and stylish so could she. The only problem – she was shy. Introvert and self-conscious of herself. Thanks to her sister who degraded her in every way possible.

Good thing was she was soon to be married. For a change, Seema would not have to endure her derogatory comments daily. She singled out a copy of Pride and Prejudice from the pile of books on the book shelf.

Sighing, she opened the book from where she left off. She must have read the book a billion times now. Every time, she read there was only one thought in her mind.

Will she ever find her Mr. Darcy?

****

Under the falling leaves, Chloe gazed at the man who had stolen her heart since she was a little girl. Today, he wasn't the shy boy but a self-confident successful man who was working hard so that they could have a brighter future. In full moon light, his wavy hair fell like curtain on either side of his face. He had enthralling looks, at 6 feet 2 height with midnight hypnotic black eyes which Chloe felt sinking into every time he gazed at her with love.

Tonight was a special night. They weren't friends anymore but beyond that. They were going to take the final leap. But uncertainties made it challenging to take this final step. She had to ensure that he really was committed to this relationship.

"Are you sure?" Chloe fidgeted with the ends of her woollen jacket sleeve.

"Of course I am sure!" Ibrahim's chest broadened with confidence. Let the world go against them. He would fight them all as long as his Chloe was beside him. The young girl in ponytails had turned into a graceful woman. It was unbearable for him to live away from her. Time had come to take the right steps and to formally name their love in front of Allah and the people.

He clasped her hand tightly affirming his intentions of marrying her.

****

In the dark room, Ghazala verily watched her sister sound asleep beside her on the bed. It was past 11pm way after their bed time. Aunty was sleeping with Jamal in the other bedroom. The small flat was in utter silence. Her heart beat raced thinking of what she was about to do. There were always so many restrictions. Never did her parents allow her to go out with her friends. She was only allowed to chat to them during day time near home as long as she was in the peripheral view of her mother's window.

Now that she was twenty, she yearned to taste how other people led their lives. Instead, her parents got her engaged to the least attractive guy in the city. She detested Shabbir. On her father's insistence, she had to agree. In four months' time, they were about to be married but the shy boy he was, he didn't even bother to talk to her.

Ugh! I can't stand him, that was the only thought running on Ghazala's mind. He was just too good to be true. The mere thought of marrying him made her shudder. She had to live her life before she would be restricted. Only few months were left of her freedom.

Vigilantly, she pulled the blanket away from her body and climbed down the bed. She glanced over her shoulder and sighed in relief to see Seema didn't move a muscle. From under the mattress at her side of the bed, she took out a dress. A special dress she had bought in secret after months of saving. In the dark corner of the room, she hastily changed into the shimmering body hugging short dress going down to her mid-thigh. With shaky fingers, she applied the bright red lipstick and brushed her layered curls.

She bent down under the bed to take out her high heels as she straightened her eyes collided with Seema's.

"Where do you think you are going?" hissed Seema.

Ghazala panicked, her heartbeat lurched. This was a wrong time to be caught. Oh how would she ever escape now?

Seema sat up, her eyes widening as she noted Ghazala's outfit. "What do you think you are doing?" she said more loudly.

Ghazala hurriedly clamped her hand on Seema's mouth, "Shhh do you want to wake up everyone at home."

Seema glared at her elder sister who was up to no good.

Ghazala slowly removed her hand from Seema's mouth, "Look I really have to go out and meet a friend. I will be back in an hour."

Narrowing her eyes, Seema shook her head. It was payback time. She was not going to let Ghazala off the hook so easily.

"No way. I will tell aunty right now."

"Shut up," Ghazala gritted her teeth.

"You wait and see." Seema pulled back, ready to run off to complain to aunty. At that precise moment, Ghazala grabbed her arm and jostled her, "Stop will you!!" She ran her other hand over her hair, "Look I will do anything. Just let me go" she pleaded, "Please. I will never get a chance like this. You know Amma and Aba and then Shabbir" her mouth curled distastefully.

"Anything?" Seema's eyes sparkled.

Ghazala nodded curtly.

Seema was just as curious as Ghazala. Perhaps, if she went with Ghazala she could prove it to her and her friends she wasn't the geek that they thought her as. "Take me with you."

Ghazala staggered backwards, "What? Are you crazy?"

"Fine I am telling," Seema folded her arms in front of her.

After minutes of contemplating, Ghazala conceded, "Get ready then."

****

Giddy, Seema wasn't able to contain her excitement. She had heard a lot about house parties that were held in college students homes which were all the rage these days. Everyone spoke about them. It was the only way to exceed ones limits living in the land that was ruled by the Church.

Seema had borrowed Ghazala's teal jumpsuit. The padded shoulders gave her a more mature look. Mascara, lipstick and blush enhanced her beauty that by the time they were near their destination, Seema was confident of herself. That is until she saw what awaited her.

"Look I will meet you here in two hours. I don't want to be seen with you," Ghazala said under her breath as she stepped in the house that seemed to be swaying in a groove.

It was very crowded inside, loud music blared from the speakers. In the smoky atmosphere of the dingy house, she wasn't able to make out the faces of the bodies that were oscillating to the beat of the music. Each room was filled with people lost in the trance of the moment. Squeezing her way through the horde of dancing bodies, Seema tried to keep up with her sister. The rooms were only illuminated with overhead disco ball lights. It was impossible to distinguish one person from another. She came across a room that was less crowded. Empty glass bottles littered in the corner of the room and cigarette buds decked the floor. She sceptically looked to her right, her pulse racing, there was no familiar face to be seen.

Awkwardly, she stood in the corner of the room, gazing at the young men and women lost in their desire to drink and dance. Self-consciously, her hand was running up her arm. Again, she was alone amidst a crowd. This was a bad idea. Why did she come here? She was on the verge of leaving when a tall man with ginger hair sauntered to her.

"Hey gorgeous, why are you so lonely?" he blew smoke on her face. It stink. What was that vile whiff? It definitely wasn't cigarette. He was smoking something else. Probably weed.

"Wanna dance?" his eyebrows rose suggestively.

She looked around, was this man really speaking to her. No man had ever shown any interest in her. Her lips moved but no sound came out in utter nervousness. Bashfully, her eyes roaming around the room until she saw the person she was seeking. Her sister was having a blast, laughing with her friends. Why couldn't she have fun ever?

She side glanced at the guy and then mustered up her courage, "Sure."

Never in her life had she danced before. Well, not like the people were dancing in front of her. But her dance partner was a good teacher. His hands on her hips he guided her and soon her hips were swinging with the music. For the first time, she thought she was being accepted socially. She was like everyone else.

Minutes passed by, her inhibitions loosened, sweat rolled down her back, her hair were moist. "I need water," she croaked, her parched throat irritating her.

"No water here, baby. Why don't you have a pint (of beer)," he beckoned to the makeshift bar.

She bit her lip but before she could make a decision a big tumbler was shoved in front of her. Not caring of the circumstances, she took big swigs.

She was doing it once. She could show it to her sister that she knew what fun was.

She let go of all her limits.

****

Seema's head was pounding as she struggled to open her eyes. Sitting up, her hand on her aching forehead, she looked around to recognize where she was. The sun had brightly lit the small room. Dumbfounded, she stumbled as she rose to her feet.

"Finally! You are up!" infuriated Ghazala, throwing her hands up in the air. She smacked Seema's shoulder, "What got into you? Do you even remember what you did last night?"

Baffled, Seema gazed at her elder sister. Her eyes lowered to her lap and then she realized she was clad in a men's t-shirt only. "Wh...wh...what happened?"

Ghazala again smacked her arm, "You don't remember do you? You got wasted. You called me the crazy one but I found you passed out, naked sprawled on the bed in the upstairs bedroom of the house."

Seema frowned and that's when it came back.

Oh no! What had she done? Tears blurred her vision. She shook her head in disbelief as she fell on the bed. Her head bowed down and tears leaked falling on her bare knees.

"It's okay. We won't tell anyone. It will be just between you and me." Ghazala's hand clamped Seema's shoulder, "Thank God, I bumped into Muhammad on the way back. He had one look at you and said its better we stay the night at his brother Ibrahim's flat."

Seema paled. Muhammad the boy next door, knew her dark secret now. He was in his early twenties and all her life she had seen him being there to help them around. Before her parents left to Hajj, there were talks between their parents about Muhammad's marriage proposal to Seema. But her parents had not given an answering, reassuring Adil Siddique that once they get back from Hajj they will announce their decision. She was mortified now. Never would she be able to face him.

"Where are they?" she murmured.

"Who?" Ghazala hurriedly lifted their belongings from the bed.

"Ibrahim and his wife."

"They are gone for a couple of days to Kerry. Muhammad had a spare key and so he let us in."

Numbly, Seema nodded.

"This will be our secret. I told Aunty we had to go to a friend's home who was very sick." Ghazala reasoned. "We will forget about this in no time."

But it was impossible to forget especially when Seema recognized the changes in her body in the next couple of months. She never had periods after that faithful night. The first indication of impending truth. Then other prominent symptoms were experienced – fatigue and nausea.

When Seema missed her third period, she freaked out. This time Ghazala was her accomplice and sympathized with her. Together, the sisters went to a general physician far away from home so their parents wouldn't find out. Dreading, what the doctor would reveal, they held their breaths seated in front of the doctor.

The old man with thick glasses on his big nose dismally looked at the girls in front of him. The wrinkles on his forehead increased when he frowned.

"How old are you?" he asked.

Seema squirmed in her seat, "I just turned 18."

"You are pregnant."

Both sisters gasped. Seema's lips wobbled as the enormity of the situation hit them. They were in much more trouble than they thought.

****

They couldn't possibly talk about it at home where the walls were thin and their parents would easily eavesdropped. On the freezing winter day, they sat under a humongous tall bare tree. Its branches stretching and embracing them. Shoulders drooping, arms wrapped around her legs, knees raised up and her head rested on them, Seema's tears didn't cease.

For the first time, Ghazala was numb, her fingers fidgeted with a twig in her hand. What were they going to do?

"It's all your fault you know!" Ghazala threw the twig on the grass in frustration. "If only you didn't persist to come that night."

Seema's shoulders shuddered. She turned her face the other way, not looking at Ghazala.

"I knew you were a nerd but I never thought you would be stupid. What made you drink so much and then easily let that man touch you." Ghazala spat. Restlessly, she stood up and paced back and forth on the grass. "I don't know what we can do now. Stupid Seema." Ghazala cursed.

Seema had enough since the time they came back from the doctor's office that's all she was hearing. Her sister was non-stop cursing her. She shot up and marched to Ghazala. She may be petite as compared to her sister. She may be plain looking as compared to the diva sister but she was now fed up of being bullied.

"You know whose fault it is? It is yours. ONLY YOURS."

Ghazala jolted back at the accusation.

Pointing at her, Seema vehemently said, "All you were did was make fun of me each and every time. You know why I went out? To prove to you that I can have fun. I wanted to show you I was also cool. I was not a nerd. You forced me to do this."

Red rimmed eyes raised to Ghazala, "I hate you. I hate you so much. Because of you, I ruined my life for good. Ammi and Aba will blame me for what happened. No one will believe me if I tell them I followed you." her lips quivered. Tears fell on her cheek, "I will tell Ammi Aba everything before its too late," she resolved, wiping her cheek with her palm.

Alarmed, Ghazala immediately changed her stance, "You are right its my fault. Don't tell Ammi and Aba anything. Give me a few days, maybe I can plan our trip to Belfast."