The cold spring mornings replaced by warm long sunny days. The sun brightly shone replacing gloominess and darkness with its lustre and cheerfulness. The swans migrated up north. Flocks of birds returned back to Ireland from their migration. Flowers of all colours and sizes bloomed. Roses as big as one's palm adorned backyard gardens. The trees were thick with leaves and fruit.

As the seasons changed, the little life in Nawal grew. Her baby bump was slightly prominent now. Skinny jeans was not fitting her anymore. Her t-shirts stretching around her. In her second trimester, nearly half way through the pregnancy, she was gaining weight fast. It wasn't just the baby bump but rather her buttocks had grown out big. Well at least, she thought so. Then there was a problem with her bra size. What was going on? Never had she thought she would grow from everywhere. Urgh! How would she be going back to shape? She wasn't one of those women who only had a big baby bump and rest of their bodies remained in shape.

Since the day, Salman promised to listen to her when he was ready, Nawal had been at ease. Day by day, she was concentrating on her education. She had immense amount of projects, assignments and quizzes this last semester. Her attention was all on that. She had put up a high aim to achieve good grades. During the fatigue of the semester, she didn't realize how fast time was running.

They still didn't talk much. But at least Salman wasn't completely quiet. In fact, now he would initiate a conversation. Well, not exactly conversation but he would always ask how she was. He persistently took care of her in his subtle ways. Giving her money without her ever asking him, making sure she was eating well and even once or twice he made Seema call her when she was working late evenings at the library. Just as she was this evening.

Her phone vibrated silently beside the thick digital marketing book she was reading. She glanced at the screen and Seema's number flashed.

Sighing, she answered the call, "Khala just few more minutes."

"Beta, it is really raining hard. How will you come back?"

She glanced at the large panelled windows, the rain sliding down the glass panes, "I will take the bus as I always do."

There were some noise at the background until Seema said, "No wait there Salman is coming to pick you up."

She leaned back on the hard wooden chair, "No Khala he doesn't has to. I will be there inshaa Allah."

"He already left. He was after me since last half an hour that I call you and check on you."

"Okay. I will see you in a bit," Nawal feebly said.

Alone with Salman? She didn't remember the last time she spent time alone with him. Perhaps, now was the time to bond. She touched her cheek, she had not even a brush of makeup applied. Worse, she didn't even have a lipstick or kohl pencil in her bag. Last few months, she was just too busy with her studies to bother in paying attention to her looks.

The most she could do was fix her wrinkled hijab. After packing her belongings in her bag, she was about to stand up when she felt it. She became utterly still. And she felt it again. A small fluttering from the middle of her stomach. A slow smile spread on her lips, she wasn't the only one excited to spend some time with him. The baby was just as excited. Her hand tentatively touched her small bump and she whispered, "Let's go and meet your Daddy."

But before she left, she hurried to the ladies toilet to look presentable. When she was scrutinizing her looks one last time at the mirror reflection her phone buzzed. A text message flashing, "I am here"

She sighed, squared her shoulders and strode out of the toilet.

This is it.

****

She didn't remember the last time she was in his car. It had been four months since the divorce. Time had flown but distances remained. Now for the first time, in four months he went out of his way to look after her.

"You didn't have to come. I was about to take the bus as it is." She murmured gazing out the window. The rain dancing on the car window.

He ignored her question instead he asked as he stopped the car at the traffic light, "Why don't you ever take Ammi's car to university when the weather isn't good."

She turned around and gaped at him. "I ... I .." she stuttered. Swallowing hard, she then said, "I didn't know I was allowed to take Khala's car."

His eyes were trained in front of him the viper slide from right to left, he put the car on first gear, "It's far better than going on the bus. You will be less tired."

"I will remember it next time." she mumbled, again looking out the window.

Before she could change her mind, she blurted, "I felt it today."

For the first time since their drive he glanced at her, "Felt?" he eyebrows knitting in confusion.

She laid her hand on her stomach, "The baby."

His eyes roved over her face to her stomach. His eyes softened. He may not have said anything but there were many emotions clearly visible on his face.

Just then the baby decided to make its presence in front of her parents. Nawal's stomach grumbled loudly. Her cheeks flamed and she curled her arm around her stomach. She sheepishly said, "Sorry for some reason my stomach grumbles loudly these days."

"Did you have your lunch?" he again side glanced at her.

"Just coffee and a cookie." Again her stomach grumbled and she was mortified.

"I don't blame your stomach grumbling when you only had a cookie. I know what will fill you up. We will eat something before we go home."

She was famished, she couldn't argue with him. Right now she would eat anything. And before she knew it, he made a U-turn and drove to the opposite direction from home. The rest of the drive they spent in silence.

As they neared their destination, the rain ceased, the grey clouds disintegrated, sunshine reaching out to them. Salman parked the car opposite to the Halal Subway branch in Ballsbridge. Nawal's face broke into delight. Her lips curled in pleasure, "I was craving this."

Salman's hand stilled on the door handle. A smile touching his lips.

Good, at least you will eat properly now.

He came around the car, waiting for her to come out. They made their way to the Subway shop. As they crossed the busy street, his hand found hers. How long it had been since he held her hand? Their palms rubbing against each other, fingers interlaced and her heartbeat accelerating.

When they reached the other side of the street, his hold on her hand slackened, his hand sliding away from hers but she tightened her hold on his hand. Confused, he glanced at her, she raised a single dark brown eyebrow in a challenge.

"You can be stubborn sometimes." He said under his breath as he pulled her to the shop.

"If I was stubborn we wouldn't be living like this for the last four months." she hotly replied.

He smirked, after months of silence, he got to hear her verbal bantering. He wasn't angry but rather amused.

Standing in front of the counter, he asked gazing at the menu on display, "What would you like?"

"Chicken tikka sub"

"Hi there, what would it be?" the waitress asked.

"Two One-foot long Chicken tikka subs." Salman ordered.

Nawal's shook her head hastily, "I can't eat one foot long."

"We will take your left overs home and you can have it later in the evening then."

Nodding Nawal sat down on a chair beside one of the tables. Once Salman placed the food tray on the table, Nawal didn't take long to eat. Salman leaned back on his chair, his sub forgotten as he gazed at her. She was hungry. Very hungry indeed. She didn't seem to notice him as well as she ate.

"From tomorrow you are taking a sandwich with you when you go for your classes." He said.

"Hmmm..." she took a big bite of the sub.

Beguiled, Salman picked a paper napkin from the tray, "Nawal the food is not running away." he wiped ketchup from the corner of her mouth.

Self-consciously, she mumbled, "Yeah. Well, stop eyeing my food and eat yours."

He was still grinning, when he unwrapped the sub and took the first bite.

The ice wall between them was slowly melting.

****

"Now Nawal today is the detailed scan. We will be looking at all the baby's organs. As we go along I will be pointing them out too." the midwife explained as the black and white image of the baby displayed on the flat screen in front of her.

Today, Nawal had come alone for the check-up. Seema had insisted she take her car as Salman wasn't pleased that she was using the bus in her condition. Seema wasn't able to accompany as she had flu and people with flu symptoms were asked not to visit the maternity hospital in case of spreading the viral infection. As for Salman, she never spoke to him about the appointment. She wondered if he even knew about it. Knowing Seema, she must have told him.

"You are 20 weeks and 4 days pregnant now right?" midwife confirmed.

"Yes," she whispered in awe watching the baby squirming within her.

"It's a happy baby here. It is moving." Midwife smiled as she pressed the ultrasound hand device on Nawal's baby bump.

"Yes I can feel it." murmured Nawal.

"Now let's start, we are first going to examine the baby's heart." Midwife zoomed at the chest of the baby.

One by one each organ was examined and the midwife reassured that all was well. After 45 minutes, when the midwife wiped the gel off the ultrasound hand device. "Now do you have any questions?"

Nawal nodded, "Yes, what gender it is?"

The midwife beamed, "It's a girl."

A girl. My girl.

In a daze, Nawal cleaned the gel off, fixed her clothes and thanked the midwife. Making her way down the hospital corridors, her heart beat dipped. A shiver ran down her spine. Tears blurred her vision. Her feet quickened to the parking lot. Her quivering fingers pressed the unlock button on the car key. She slid on the driver seat. Arms on the steering wheel, her forehead resting against it. Her shoulders shook, tears ran down her cheeks.

Her baby girl may not know her father ever.

A girl always has a special bond with her father. No matter how strict her mother was with her, her father was her friend. He was there to pamper her. She hiccupped.

Salman had become much kinder towards her. His anger quelled. Then why was he still taking so long to just forget about this divorce. He still didn't come to her to talk, so they could clear all the misunderstanding.

Perhaps, her happiness was not granted because she had hurt her parents. It was time to pay them a visit.

She wiped her face with a tissue and turned the key in the ignition.

Hopefully, her mother will not kick her out of the house.

****

Standing outside her parent's house, she was nervous. With shaking fingers, she pressed the door bell.

The person she least expected to answer the door, stood in front of her. Under Ghazala's scornful gaze, Nawal squirmed.

"Assalamu alaikum." Nawal mumbled.

"Walaikum salaam," Ghazala replied haughtily. She stepped aside letting Nawal enter the house.

On wobbly legs, Nawal strode to the living room and halted when she saw her father sitting on one of the sofa's lost in his thoughts even though his eyes were on the news that was on air on the television.

"Daddy."

Startled, Shabbir looked up. His eyes widening.

Nawal closed the distance between them. Going down on her knees in front of her father, she took his hand in hers, tears leaked from her eyes, "Daddy forgive me."

Numbly, Shabbir stared at her.

Her head bowed down, "Please Daddy forgive me." she sobbed.

Many minutes passed, no one moved. Until Shabbir tenderly placed his quivering hand on Nawal's hijab-clad head. She lifted her head and Shabbir wiped her tears.

"You were the jewel in my crown but that day you ashamed me in front of the world."

Fresh tears spilled from her tears, "No Daddy, I never meant to. He came after me. Believe me. I would never would have done anything to shame you."

He cradled her face and kissed her forehead, "No matter what, parents always forgive their children. I forgave you long time back."

She pursed her lips, she sat next to him on the sofa and hugged him.

All this time, Ghazala was watching them from a distance. She turned away, her eyes glistening with tears.

*****

Salman sauntered out of the bathroom in his black bathrobe. Rubbing his hair with the towel, he sat on the bed, his mind on the different meetings for the day. Last few weeks had been very busy as he was again working on the new marketing campaign.

He had many appointments today, he grabbed his phone from the bedside drawer to review the appointment list for today when he noticed a paper neatly folded under his phone.

He unfolded the paper and there was a black and white image. This one was very clear. He could easily make out the different parts of the baby. It seemed the baby had its arm raised over its head. His heart skipped a beat when he read Nawal's neat handwriting under the image.

"It's a girl."

He ran his finger over the image. A girl.

His little girl.

His throat went completely dry. He licked his lower lip.

Could he really let go of the past mistakes and move on? The deception. The betrayal.

He wasn't angry anymore. He was hurt. There were so many times, he was on the verge to going to her to talk and get everything sorted but he just couldn't take the last step. The haunting memories coming back as a nightmare, tormenting him.

But what about this baby?

He opened his wallet and put the picture inside it.

He had no answers as of yet.

Time was running, he had to make a decision soon.

And he will...

****

"I still don't see the point of going out for shopping now that we have exams in three weeks' time." Nawal exasperated.

"We all need a break. Besides you have become boring always stuck in the library." Aoife pleasantly said gazing at the mannequin dressed in floral dress displayed on the entrance of TK Maxx. "What do you think of this dress?" she nudged Lisa.

"Ya nice" Lisa mumbled, "Let's go in. I want to look at the designer bags. We always get good prices here."

Nawal lagged behind them. After spending many minutes between them as they decided on the type of handbags, Nawal sauntered to other sections of the department store when she saw the baby section.

Why not do some baby shopping? She still hadn't bought anything for the baby yet.

There were such cute clothes and so many varieties. She didn't know what to buy. Little baby girls dresses were so adorable. Pinks and purples. She was selecting some of the dresses she liked, she then overheard the conversation of the young couple at the end of the lane.

"Look at this one," the man said, holding up a baby boy body suit set.

"Yes that looks great," the heavily pregnant woman said.

"What about this one?" the man again held up a small red t-shirt with words on it – I am cool as my Daddy.

The woman giggled. He placed the t-shirt on her bump. "See he is just like me." The woman's giggles turned to squeals of laughter.

Nawal whirled around, clenching shut her eyes, and she exhaled.

It hurt too much.

This piercing stab on her heart. Will she ever share this happiness with him?

The ray of hope was extinguishing day by day.

****

A storm hit the Siddique family one evening wounding everyone in its glory and strength. In the last few months, Manal had slowly distanced herself from the family. Since her argument with her parents, she had secluded herself spending more and more time alone in her room. Everyone was stressed about Salman and Nawal to worry about Manal's strange behaviour. However, it was the silence before the storm.

The note she left behind had said it all. She ran away with the guy her parents forbid. She eloped. It shook the strong foundation of the household.

Adil paled in worry, his frail hand on his aching chest. Muhammad was furious pacing up and down the living room and Seema sobbed. Salman was ready to go and kill the guy but he remained quiet. Nawal was oblivious to the household problems when she entered the living room after a busy day studying in the library.

Muhammad glared at her in disgust, "I am sure she knows Manal's dirty secret. In fact, she must have been her accomplice in all this."

Nawal frowned in perplexity and glanced at Seema who was soberly sitting on the sofa with her legs curled under her.

"What happened?" Nawal asked.

"Don't act innocent." Muhammad's voice raised.

Nawal blinked back at his vicious voice and she stepped back in defense.

"Muhammad please, it is not Nawal's fault." Seema whispered achingly.

"I know her kind. She not only destroy her own life but also influence others." Muhammad spat.

"I didn't do anything. I don't even know what is going. What did Manal do?" Nawal defended herself.

"Don't lie," Muhammad vehemently snapped.

"Dad please leave Nawal out of this. This has nothing to do with her." Salman stepped forward between Muhammad and Nawal.

Muhammad pointed his finger at Nawal, "Ever since this girl came in our household she has been a disgrace."

Salman curled his hand into fists and his jaw clenched, "No she hasn't."

Nawal stood rooted in her place. Salman gently nudged her, "Nawal go to your room."

Tears filled her eyes and she raised her eyes to him, "I have nothing to do with whatever Manal did."

"You are saying you don't know she ran away and eloped." Muhammed's voice boomed.

Nawal gasped. She covered her mouth with her hand, "No of course not."

"You are a liar." Muhammad accused.

Nawal shook her head, "No...no.." she was turning pale.

Salman didn't want Nawal here. His father was clearly looking for someone to blame. He gently tugged her but she didn't budge.

"Let me speak." Nawal said stubbornly.

His hand on her back and other on the side of her bump, "Not now. You can talk later." He again pushed her gently. That's when he felt it. A movement against his hand on her bump. As if, his hand was on fire, he slid his hand away from her.

Nawal was oblivious to what Salman just experienced, she turned to him, her hand on his chest, "Believe me I had nothing to do with this. You have to believe me. I have been busy studying. In fact, I haven't spoken to Manal for weeks now." She stepped closer her bumps touching his side and he again felt it. The baby was adamant on letting her father know of her presence. "I believe you." He whispered.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he spun her around and gently walked her to her room, "You rest here. I will see Dad calms down."

She exhaled, "Okay."

He was about to leave but he lingered for a minute, rubbing his hand at the back of his neck, "Does the baby kick now?"

Baffled, she stared at him to make sense what he was asking. Then she slowly answered, "Yeah all the time, why?"

He shook his head, "Nothing. Nothing."

He stepped back, leaving a bewildered Nawal gazing at his back.

He closed the door behind him and rubbed his temple. A small smile touching his lips.

His little girl was just like her mother. No matter how hard he tried to forget, she made sure he never did.