"Wake up! Savannah!" The desperation in my mother's voice was clear, piercing through my subconscious state.

I hadn't realized how loud I was screaming until I was being shaken brutally wake. Fingernails dug into my shoulders, viciously jerking me back and forth. Excruciating pain jolted in my head at the abrupt movement, a groan leaving my mouth.

My eye flung open and suddenly the vivid orange glow was replaced by the translucent darkness of my room. An overwhelming dizziness crept over me as I struggled to grasp at the situation.

"M -mum?" I choked, rapidly flattering my eyes to adjust them to the darkness.

"Sweetheart, I'm here" she whispered, pulling me into a tight hug as convulsive sobs raked through me.

Things had gotten worse, so much worse. For the past few day I had been waking to my teary eyed mother, her violent shaking ripping me from the depth of my nightmares.

This time it wasn't just Blake, there was something far more gut wrenching about this particular nightmares. Another voice was screaming too. It was a high-pitched, soul -racking scream that was heavily coated with sheer terror. I would always arrive to the ashen mess of a girl but I knew who she was, the charred remains of her brown hair identified her.

Ever since my encounter with Xander, the the brown haired girl had been frequenting my dreams, she was still a hazy image but it was her. Putting a face to the other victim of the accident must have evoked a mental trigger, placing Melody at the center of my horror.

"Do you want to talk about it?" My mother asked, frowning sympathetically at my disoriented form.

I pushed myself into a seating position on the bed, crossing my legs beneath me. It baffled me how she would still ask the question even though I had brushed it off multiple times. I pursed my lips while fumbling with my fingers, picking at my now overgrown nails. My eyes settled on the comforter, never meeting hers.

"I had a bad dream. That's all."

She was having none of. Blue eyes bore into in defiance, unlike all the other nights when she would just nod in acceptance.

"I'm worried about you and I can't keep pretending nothing is wrong" she sighed while placing a hand over my mine, forcing me to divert my eyes back to her.

"It's B -Blake."

"You dreamt about the accident?" I could see her eyes being to gloss over whilst her face flattered at the memory of my brother. She pulled me into another crushing hug, her palms rubbing up and down on my back. Instantly, I melted in her embrace whilst the unbearable constriction returned to my chest.

Her laboured berthing fanned my cheeks as she let free an onslaught of tears, their warmness trickling down my neck. Wrapped in each others arms, we conformed one another. The occasional sniffing or a sob filling the silence.

"There...there was someone else" the boulder that was lodged in my throat resurfaced, restraining my words.

"W- who" she asked while disentangling her arms from around me. Her grief stricken face mirrored mine as she squeezed my shoulder, encouraging me to continue.

"The girl, Melody" her name felt acidic on my tongue, the gruesomeness of my nightmare flashing behind my eyes. I could see recognition flash in her features at the name.

"Oh, honey," she sighed, caressing my hands as tears continued to stream down my cheeks. The police had come to get my statement whilst I was in the hospital, the whole process was draining and invasive. She had sat beside me the whole time, trying her best to be supportive. I could see her wall crumbling with every terrifying detail I disclosed, when she excused herself to get some air I knew it had gotten to her more than she let on.

It was them who actually refined the blurred lines of my rescue. Anthony, the guy that found me was really Holden's uncle. They said he was a personal investigator, that as per Holden's request he had began to look for me.

He had caught wind of the trial two years ago and had gone on to investigate Xander. He noticed that he had recently purchased Melody's parents old house and was on his way to cheek it out when he found me.

This piece of information had me feeling worse than before. Holden had gone out of his way to ensure my safety and I still couldn't come clean to him about my past, heck I don't think I could even face him.

"You don't have to go back to school if your not ready."

I looked at her worn out features, shaking my head. I tried to shrug off the anxiety at the thought of all the stares I was bound to receive, I didn't want to be weak anymore.

"No, I'm fine" besides I had promised to help Avery clear up our dorm.

I was still too self-conscious to walk around campus knowing people probably knew what had happened. They'll talk, I know they will. But I was miserable here, I had nothing to do hence giving my brain time to scout through my kidnapping. At least when I go back to collage I'll be mostly preoccupied and wouldn't have time to let Xander consume my thoughts.

"If you say so" she sighed not pushing the matter "my shift starts in two hours so I'll just get ready" she kissed the side of my head before walking back to her room.

I cast my eyes towards the window, taking note of the light glow that outlined the otherwise dull sky. Everything had seemed dull since the incident, like something had been taken away from me. I had tried so hard to move on from it, Xander was finally behind bars and I should feel relived but I didn't.

Truth was I wasn't even sure whether it was because of Xander or Holden. It was undeniable how void I felt ever since I accepted that whatever Holden and I had had come to an end. I had tried to distance my heart from him but I failed, I had grown too attached to him.

I grabbed a clean towel heading to the bathroom, using the scalding water to wash the grim of my nightmare away. Afterwards, I changed into a burgundy sweater and black jeans. Leaving my hair to air dry, I joined my mother in the kitchen. I was surprised at how her appearance had drastically changed, her pajamas switched up for her usual blue scrubs.

"Would you like juice or coffee?" She asked, not bothering to turn her head to face me.

"Coffee"

She placed a mug of coffee and a plate of steaming pancakes in front of me before swiftly maneuvering around the kitchen to fix her own breakfast. Homemade food was something I missed dearly when I was in collage and I wasn't looking forward to all the takeout I was going to have from today.

"Savannah...maybe you should book an appointment with Dr Jones"

I froze midway towards the sink, my back to her as I stretched my lips into a thin line. Forcefully, I turned to face her while still gripping my cleared plate. I should have known she would bring it up, she had been awfully quite during the whole time we ate.

"Mum, I don't need therapy,"

"You've been having nightmares since you got back. Please just give it a try" her eyes flashed pleadingly, as she set down her spoon to give me her undivided attention.

"I said I don't want to see her, I'm tired of therapy!" The edge of my voice thickened considerably as my shoulders stiffening in agitation.

I clenched my jaw, thinking my lips further at the defeated look looming on my mother's face.

"I don't need therapy mum, I can handle the dreams. They'll be gone soon" I said much softer than the last time.

"Fine, promise to call her if things get worse. Okay?"

"I promise" I said under my breath, my eyes staring at the leftover syrup on my plate.

"I'm off to work" I know she didn't believe me but it was only logical not to. I had been avoiding Dr Jones viciously, I obviously wasn't going to take myself to her. I think mum wanted to pretend I was cooperating for her own state of mind "I'm really sorry I couldn't take you to back to the university today"

"I'll be fine. Its not that far"

After multiple emotion filled goodbye hugs my mother finally left, making me promise to call the second I get back to my room. I soon left too, closing up the house before making my way towards the bus station.

I stared out of the window the whole ride, music blasting in my ear as I prepared myself for the sight of my trashed room.

My rib cage felt like it was crushing my lungs, forcing all the air out but not letting any air back in. My feet hesitantly climbed up a single stair at a time, lengthening the distance between me and the dorm room. I had made it to campus after the long bus ride and was currently trying to procrastinate the inevitable.

I eventually reached the boring brown door, easily pushing it open. Avery was already standing at the center of the room, assessing the mess that was strewn on our floor.

"Oh, hey" she said, walking my way before giving me a brief hug.

"Hi, I hope I didn't make you wait" I was avoiding looking at a particular wall, my line of sight fixed on Avery.

"No, I just got here" her eyes traveled around briefly, sadness swimming in the depth of her blue irises.

"I'm really sorry about what happened" I couldn't help but to apologize for the hundredth time. Guilt just weighed over my shoulder, like a bad smell that wouldn't go away.

"You have to stop apologizing. It wasn't your doing and I don't hold anything against you" she smiled at me in reassurance, throwing her hair into a messy up do "okay let's get this done with, I'm tired of living with Archer" she said while shuddering dramatically.

We began to clean up the room with Avery's playlist playing in the background. My chest eased slightly at the sight of the blank wall beside my bed. The photos and red paint was gone, leaving the familiar slightly stained wall I had grown accustomed to. The police must have cleared up the reminder of the break in, I couldn't be more grateful.

The room looked oddly like nothing ever happened once we were done, everything back to it original place. I wish I could piece myself together like that, that it would be this simple to move on.