"I- I could stay at a hotel, I don't want to impose" we weren't dating or anything, he was just a guy I had recently met. He didn't need to play the roll of the concerned boyfriend.

"You have some crazy person after you and you want to stay at a hotel where he could easily find you?" He stressed while pressing his lips into a thin line "what happens when he attacks you and your all alone?"

I paled at the reminder, hot tears stinging my eyes. All I could think about was what could have happened if I hadn't attended the game, if I had stayed in my room all night. Would he have gotten to me? A tear slid down my cheek despite my attempt at keeping it together.

"Fuck Poppy, I didn't mean to make you cry" Holden said while stretching his arm, his roughened palms meeting softly with the damp skin of my cheeks. He caressed me lightly as a another tear slid past my barrier, welcoming an onslaught of emotions.

"Sorry" I muttered, increasing the distance between us as I wiped my trembling fingers under my eyes. I felt too exposed crying in front of him. I had done it so many times, it was becoming pathetic.

He remained silent, turning off the engine before hoping out of his seat. I hadn't even realised we had arrived at his place until then. Ghastly wind suddenly blew against my warm face, starting me as Holden reached out to help me down from the truck.

The house was quite but I could see few solo cups discarded on the green grass, the only indication that a party was taking place here only minutes ago. My eyes still roamed the cold desolate streets, too paranoid to think clearly.

"Hey man, I shut the party down for you" the familiar dark skinned guy addressed Holden as we entered the house. His eyes moving from Holden's to mine.

"Thanks, Fletch. This is..."

"The only girl I've ever see walk out of you room" he interrupted, his brown eyes portraying mischief. My warm skin grew hotter as I stared down at the tiled floors, wishing he'd forget about the incident.

"Her name is Savannah and she's going to be staying her for couple of nights" Holden informed his friend, evoking a surprised look from him as his gaze shot back to me.

"Sure no problem" Fletch said hesitantly, his brows farrowing.

With a nod Holden pressed his palm on the small of my back, steering me up the stairs. I wondered if he had a spare couch I could use as we grew closer to his bedroom door. I wasn't planning to stay long anyway, I still had to call my mother and tell her everything.

He opened his room door, ushering me in before closing it behind him. Long fingers knocked the cap he had off, roughly tugging at the roots of his hair.

He was frustrated.

I knew I was safe with Holden, but I couldn't help but feel deep rooted fear of the unknown. The events of tonight had morphing me into a nervous and jittery mess, Xander could be anywhere and I wouldn't know.

"How are you doing?" Holden asked, steeping closer to me before encasing my face in his large hands.

"I'm okay" the lie brought a bitter taste to my mouth. I was anything but okay.

"Do you need a shower?" He sighed, dropping his hands to my waist.

"Yes" I murmured not quite looking him in the eye.

"There is a clean towel in the bathroom. You can wear something of mine after you shower" he said as he released me taking a step back while pointing at the slightly open door.

Wordlessly I walked to the bathroom, immediately spotting a neatly folded dark blue towel. My tears mixing with the water as I stood beneath the shower head, the warmth undoing the knots on my tense body.

I couldn't enjoy it though, as I grew accustomed to the patter of water on my skin, I began to feel his vile hands all over my body. It was like I had jumped back to two years ago, the coldness of his palms feeling so real. A shier of fear ran through my body as I fumbled to turn off the shower.

I dried off in record time, wrapping the large towel around me. I jerked the bathroom door open, my eyes falling on carefully laid out clothes placed on the bed. Assuming Holden had laid them out for me, I placed my dirt clothes at the corner of the room before grabbing my phone.

Holden still hadn't come back to the room even when I had changed into the large shirt and track plants he'd lent me. I was currently gripping my phone tightly, trying to contemplate how I was going to tell my mother. It didn't even matter, either way she would freak out.

"Hello, baby" my mothers sweet voice came through my phone.

"Hi" I replied.

"What's wrong?" Of course she knew something was off, she always knows.

"Its..." I couldn't get my words past the lump in my throat however hard it tried.

"Tell me what happened!" I could hear the panic in her voice accompanied by shuffling.

"He- he broke into my room" I sniffed, tightly shutting my eyes as I waited on her reaction.

"What? Are you okay? Have you told the police?" She was talking a mile a minute the fear in her voice increasing with every question.

"I'm fine"

"Did he...oh god, did he touch you?" She threw the words out of her mouth like it physically hurt her to say them.

"No, I wasn't in the room then" I tried to treasure her.

"I'm coming, where are you?" My heart jumped at the thought of her driving alone this late at night.

"No, don't please. Mum, its too late" my voice tightened.

"Where are you going to stay then" she sniffed as her voice cracked with unshed tears.

"At a friends house" I replied vaguely.

"Okay, send me the address. I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning" I hummed in response, glad she wasn't putting up an argument.

"I'm so glad your okay" she said, her voice dropping as she sniffed.

"I love you mum" I whispered as my heart ached at the sadness in her voice.

"I love you too honey"

The call ended but I remained seated just staring down at my phone. My fingers settled on the side of my head where a slitting headache was beginning to form, rubbing gently to ease the pain. I was exhausted from how much crying I had done, but I wasn't going to make the mistake of closing my eyes. If I did, I'd only Invision everything I was trying to run away from.

Unconsciously, I lay on the bed as I waited for Holden. My legs curling to my chest as I increased the grip on my phone. I was struggling to keep my eyes open, falling in and out of sleep.

My eyes immediately shot open when I felt the bed dip beside me, the tiredness I had felt earlier disappearing into thon air. Memories that I had long buried resurfaced as I trembled, a wave of fear hitting me as I felt cold hands climb up my throat. My heart was pounding rapidly, thick perspiration coating my forehead.

It felt too real but I couldn't see it. It was all just in my head.

"Hey, its just me Poppy" Holden soothed while pulling my towards him. My head lay on his bare chest, the warmth pared with the rhythmic beating of his heart coxing mine to match his. We remained in the position for a while before I finally gained back my breathing.

"Sorry" I mumbled as my hands wiped the wet trail my tears had formed on his skin.

"It okay" he said while his hands softly ran over my clothed back, leaving a string of sparks in there wake. The moonlight bathed over his face, sharply highlighting his structure features.

My eyes slowly moved past his face to his defined chest, all coherent thoughts fleeting me. I took in all his hard lines, tracing the black ink splayed on his chest. Something clenched between my legs when his rough finger tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

I wasn't thinking clearly, all I wanted was to forget. To forget Xander's fingers on me, to forget all the times I let him touch me. I wanted to completely eradicate the memory of his lips on mine.

Holden could help me, I needed him. So, without giving it another thought I crashed my lips on his, initiating the kiss for the first time.

I could feel his shock in how he remained frozen against me, his hands falling limp beside him. I didn't stop, I only pressed myself further into him, completely straddling his lap.