Cold air hit my face, combing through my hair as I sprinted down the grass field, cradling the ball against my chest as I focused solely on getting it to the end zone. On a normal day, I would have heard the soft thudding behind me and anticipated the offense next move, but I didn't and consequently I was shouldered landing roughly on the ground.

"Steele, where the fuck is your head at!" Coach shouted angrily from the sidelines, frustration seeping from him in waves. Groaning I stood up dusting my shorts while glaring at the scared freshman that had shoved me to the ground.

"Practice is over, your dismissed! Steele stay back!"

This talk was inevitable really, I had tried dodging it multiple times over the past three days but now I was fresh out of excuses. I watched rooted to my spot, my muscles rigid as coach slammed his clipboard on the bench, aggressively making his was across the field.

"What the hell is going on with you lately?" He said exasperatedly, frustration sparked in his eyes as his wrinkled face scrunched up in disappointment. I didn't blame him for being frustrated at me, heck I was too. For the past three days I had been messing up plays, getting distracted and my mood was down right rotten. I knew exactly why, but coach couldn't help me with that.

"Nothing, I'm just tired" it wasn't a complete lie.

"Holden, you can't start messing up just before the game, you know how important it is. The scouts are coming to watch you, don't fucking throw it all away, you've worked too hard" the atmosphere grew tense as the heaviness of the matter settled upon us. I knew how important my next game was, I would never intentionally sabotage my years of hard work. However, my head wasn't cooperating with me, it wasn't one hundred present on the field as it was stuck on a certain green eyed girl.

"Is it Tommy, is he getting worse?"

"No he's fine" coach Carter was like a father to me, he had helped me so much even before I joined this university, God knew I didn't have one of those. However, at the moment all I wanted was the conversation to be over, I didn't need anyone else reminding me of my rapidly deteriorating skills on the field.

"Make sure you sort your shit out by Friday's game" he gave me a stern look before dismissing me.

Gruffly entering the crowded locker room, I trudged towards my locker while completely ignoring my teammates questioning gazes. I grabbed a towel heading straight for the showers. The cold water calmed my over heated body, my shoulders relaxing slightly as the tension left my body.

Thankfully the room was less crowded when I reentered, walking a straight line towards my locker as I felt their eyes at the back of my head. I tugged my jeans on roughly, growing rather annoyed at the attention being thrown my way. What the fuck did they want me to do? Bitch about my problems like a teenage girl or something?

"Hey Steele, heard you got handled by some hot chick Monday!" I had just reached for my shirt when a voice projected from a little further behind me. The room immediately went dead quite, my shoulders becoming rigid as my fists clenched tightly. I breathed deeply willing myself to call down because all I could see was fucking red, I was absolutely furious.

"What the fuck!"

I turned around facing the guy that had spoken, he was a first string sophomore and looked quite shaken really. I grabbed him by the collar of his expensive shirt, shoving him against his locker resonating a loud noise. My fingers twitched to punch him but I had already done so much this week, punching a teammate would just land me on the bench.

"Let him go man" Archer said suddenly appearing from beside me, gripping me shoulder tightly. I huffed roughly shoving him into the locker on more time before loosening my fists around his shirt, albeit hesitantly. He scrambled to grab his things, quickly making his way towards the door, the smug smile he was spotting earlier had been swept clean of his face.

"What the hell was that about? You've never been this concerned about what people say, what gives?" Archer raised an inquisitive eyebrow, his eyes trailing me suspiciously. I picked up my shirt slipping it through my head as I avoided his eyes at all cost "what's so different about this girl anyway?" His eyes hooded as a distant look passed over them as if he were trying to piece something together.

"Nothing" I mumbled hoping he would forget about the topic and move on.

"Savannah! She's her!" His features brightened up as he nodded to himself "she's the girl your practically obsessed with, fuck man she's hot!" He attempted to whisper but am sure if anyone was interested in listening in on our conversation they would have heard him clearly.

"She isn't her"

"Okay so you wouldn't mind if I took my shot at her?" I hated how first my head snapped towards him as my eyes immediately shot an intense glare at his smug face. The slightest idea of another guy moving up to Savannah made my skin crawl, it gave me the over bearing need to stash her away from every breathing guy. Archer raised a single brow at my subconscious action.

"I'm not obsessed with her" I weakly defended.

"So she is the girl" it wasn't a question, he knew it was her and I didn't supply a response, not necessarily happy at the direction of the conversation "you are obsessed with her, trust me, she's got you giving up sex even before she knew you" his face scrunched up in disgust at the prospect of not being able to get laid regularly.

"I didn't give up sex, I just gave up meaningless sex and she's not the reason for that" I had just decided that there were better things in life then getting drunk every weekend and falling into a random girl's bed, that lifestyle had become a boring cycle and I would never want my mother to witness me using women like I used to. It was a decision I made even before I saw Savannah, she just empowered it because my body suddenly only craved her.

"Wow man, she's goddamn gorgeous. No wonder she's got you tripping on your own feet at practice...wait did you know she was coming to this university?" He was right, Savannah was absolutely stunning yet she didn't even know it and this added to her appeal even more. The day at the showers I thought my desperate mind had actually conjured her up, it had been two years of longing for her, I wouldn't put it past myself to imagine her.

"No, I had no idea she was coming here, I was pretty shocked. It doesn't matter though, I practically fucking blew every chance I would have ever had with her" I regret everything I said to her on Monday and truly that was what had been on my mind all week, why I was a disaster on the field. It was inconsiderate of me to demand such a thing from her without knowing why she was so hesitant.

"What did you actually do?" Archer inquired.

"I told her we would only ever be strangers" I said as I hung my head, at the time I had been driven by rage towards the guy that had almost taken advantage of her. My head was in a haze of furry, I didn't mean it, I couldn't have.

"Fuck that sucks, but you have to get your head out of your ass before the game, the scouts are coming out" I knew this, it was fucking engraved in my head!

"Hell I don't know how yet but am working on it" I let my frustration seep into my voice as I roughly threw my locker shut. Archer left minutes later, shouting something about a prep party a sorority was throwing the team. I pulled my shoes on and was shrugging on my bag when the shrill ringing of my phone filled the empty room, I pulled it out immediately answering when I saw the name on my screen.

"Hello? Holden, it Tommy!" I chuckled lightly the enthusiasm he portrayed, my mood quickly brightening slightly.

"Hi Tommy, where's your dad?" I said as I walked out of the door, the warm sun washing over me as I walked across the stretch of road towards the parking lot, littered with few cars.

"His asleep" he whispered. Knox's was among the few men I respected, he was possibly only four years older than me and was working his ass of to provide for his son, regardless of his circumstances.

"Holden" I hummed urging him to continue as I spotted my truck, fishing out my keys with the unoccupied hand "will you still come see me on Saturday? dad told me you might be busy" his voice dropped considerably, a sad quiver to his words.

"I promised I'd come and I will" I muttered with determination because I would do anything for him, he was one of the closest people to my mother I had left.

"Really?" His voice was back to being jovial again his young mind immediately forgetting about his earlier dismay. I wanted to scream and curse at the world for what it was doing to a six year old child, for ripping away his happiness.

"Yeah" I said chuckling silently despite myself "hey Tommy...I have to go now but I'll see you on Saturday" I said thickly as I started the engine of my truck, hearing a hesitant bye before driving off.