are you sure you're not mad?

I really don't want you to pretend you're not mad

if you are just tell me

I'm not mad Alexis, I promise

church isn't for everyone

I know it's quite intimidating to be stuck in a small area with my parents hahaha

no, it wasn't your parents

I mean not completely

I was just so nervous and stuff

I promise I'm not mad babe

thank you

I have summthing to tell you

yeah?

you look familiar.. didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry

we had chemistry last year

why weren't you flirting then?

waY TO RUIN A CUTE MOMENT

oh sorry :((

well that's so romantic

but I'm serious

I have a real question

okay

will you be my girlfriend?

oh

WAIT

BEFORE YOU SAY NO

THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW

Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress and lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancers and even death. So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES

quite the argument you made

did you just get that off google?

maybe

I knew it

but what makes you the best candidate for the choice?

I'm prepared to answer that question!

well as your boyfriend I am prepared to take you on a date

and kiss you at random times

and cheer you up when you're sad

and text you at ungodly hours when I'm missing you

and buying you chocolate when you're on your period

and love you everyday

so will you please be my girlfriend?

you made quite the speech, Alexis

of course I'll be your girlfriend :))

YESSSSS

I'M NOT FOREVER ALONE ANYMORE

not anymore

I'm so excited

so fifth date?

slow down hot stuff

sorry sorry

I'm just so excited

tomorrow?

great

now focus

fine

fifth is so boring

too bad "boyfriend"

I know girlfriend

fifth is so boring

we're in fifth already???

where are you anyways?

I fell asleep in the library

I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD JUST LIKE WAIT AND GO TO SIXTH RISKING DETENTION FOR SKIPPING OR LIKE JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP

why are you talking in caps?

IDFK I'M SO cONFUSED

just skip

tru

aye I need a ride home

WHY?

I got a ride with Hayley bc my car is in the shop

and now Hayley has to go somewhere right after school

pls I'll offer you food

:))) ok bby

4 u anyday

I'm gonna dump Hayley 4 u rn

rlly?

YEH

you like me?

LOLOLOLOL No

truth or dare?

this is so fucking random

truth

do you like me?

dare

I dare you to answer the question

you're a huge bich

I hate you so much

our friendship is over

our friendship isn't over

I thought the no was the answer

no wasn't the answer

yes

I mean I did at one point

you did ;))))

yeah a few times

I took your lips virginity after all

and then I had a crush on you briefly in middle school

and then this past year

what RLLY?

THIS PAST YEAR?

yeah like beginning of the school year

and then like in November Hayley and I got like super close idk really

we just started hanging out more

and I guess I like her more

then Alex asked for your number and you started talking to him and idk

: this conversation was so awkward

I had a huge crush on you last year

when you finally hit puberty oops

thanks hoe

I am fabulous since fetus

have you seen your pre-puberty pictures?

I'm fairly sure even your mom hated you

my mummy luves me you bich

pfft

Whatever

you're just mad cus someone else got me

you're just mad bc Alex Follese wanted me

I am though

I mean I'm a total catch

too bad he's a total asshole

did he ever apologize to you

no

pisses me off

should I asked him too

not your job and no

FINE I WON'T

FINE

FINE

good

I h8 u

WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN THAT

BABY

I LOVE YOU

CAN I STILL GET A RIDE

PLEASE

SKYLAR PLS

Finally spring break start in five days and I am so ready for a goddamn vacation leaving all of the stupid things behind. I round the corner and notice Scarlett and Alex standing by the classroom door. I stepped back around the corner quietly and put my back up against the wall. I can hear them mumbling something.

"So, I was thinking," Alex laughs. "Next week is spring break.. Maybe we could go on a camping trip?"

What? They're going camping by themselves? Maybe he added something after "we" that I didn't hear. Maybe her parents are going? Maybe it's a religious thing? Then why would Alex say we?

"Sure, boyfriend. It sounds like fun."

Sure, boyfriend? Boyfriend? She called him boyfriend! Are you fucking kidding me? Boyfriend. Really? She can't call him Alex? I'm pretty sure he didn't legally change his name to boyfriend, you bitch.

"Hi Alex. Hi female classmate who's dating the guy I liked," I smile.

"What?" Scarlett furrows her eyebrows.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I dramatically gasp.

"I just thought you like calling people by some stupid label instead of their name."

"Sky, stop," Alex mutters.

"Oops? Should I call you "stupid guy who rejected me instead of "Alex"?

Neither Alex nor Scarlett say anything, so I take that as my cue to go into the classroom. I don't think they enjoyed my nicknames.

I can't believe those two are going camping by themselves. I mean I get that they're technically adults, but still.. They're going to be out, their doing the do and making Scarlett Follese babies. Ew, I'm going to vomit when think of it. Skylar Follese should be perfect, though.

The point is, Alex's making huge mistake. Camping? We live in Philly, where the fuck are you going to go camping at? Alex wouldn't even know the first thing to do if he went camping.

But I'm sure Scarlett will. She'll compliment Alex and tell him he's doing a swell job even though he's messing up everything. Eventually Scarlett will be stuck doing everything because she can't stand the sight of him failing at setting up a tent.

Scarlett will giggle at Alex. Alex get turn on because God's laughter is coming out of her. Being Alex, Satan will probably tell Alex to put his hand near her. Next thing you know those two are going at it on the cold hard ground and then bam! babies.

I can't have this happen. For the sake of my sanity, I can't. There is no way that those two are going camping by themselves. I will not allow it. I can't even deal with those two doing anything inappropriate, period.

Alex and Scarlett walk inside holding hands. I can feel myself gagging on the loser air in the classroom.

"Alex, I have a question."

Alex rolls his eyes. "What is it, Sky?"

"Are you the kind of guy who's going to get someone pregnant in the wood?"

Alex chokes a bit, before shaking his head.

"What the hell,Sky? I'm not doing that."

"Liar," I mutter under my breath. You totally know you'd do it. Scarlett impression was on point, though So, worth it.

I'm freaking out bruh

should I bring you Dylan O' Brien pictures?

no

yes

but not that

what is it?

Scarlett and Alex are going camping by themselves

and I should care why?

BECAUSE

frickle Frackle Dan

DO WE REALLY NEED TO HAVE MINI THEM IN THIS WORLD

DAN PLS HELP ME

ALEX AND I WERE SUPPOSE TO MAKE THREE BABIES

NOW SCARLETT IS TRYING TO STEAL THE BABY MAKING PRODUCTS THAT BELONGS TO MY EGGS

my EGGS ARE STRESSING DAN

THAT MEANS MY BABIES ARE GONNA BE STRESSED

WHICH MEANS THEY'RE GONNA GROW UP STRESSED OUT AND ANXIOUS ALL THE TIME

WHICH MEANS GREY HAIR BEFORE THEY'RE FORTY

THEY'LL BE TOO AFRAID TO ASK THE GIRL TO PROM

THEY'LL BE ALONE

THEY'LL DROP OUT OF COLLEGE

THEY'LL BE BITTER AND ALONE LIKE ME

I'LL NEVER GET GRANDKIDS

I'LL END UP IN AN OLD FOLKS HOME

MY KIDS ARE GOING TO PUT ME IN A FUNERAL HOME

DAMN I KNOW THEY'RE STRESSED OUT BUT GEEZ

AND A BUNCH OF OTHER BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO THEM

THEY'LL DIE YOUNG

MY BABIES DON'T DESERVE THIS DAN

DAN HELP ME

what the fuck did I just read?

you're having a psychotic breakdown

like what the hell?

she's not going to have babies

I'm sure Alex is smart enough to use protection

D A N that doesn't help

I'm sorry kid that's the truth tho

can I borrow money for lunch?

goodbye

you are a disappointment as a person

our friendship is over

Sky

WHAT

it's fifth period

SO?

lunch ended like 40 minutes ago

OHH YEAH

I remember bc I had the chicken burger

and I had Hayley

I think I vomited in my mouth

go away

Hayley is a friend, Dan, not food

sure it is

goodbye

I'm not talking to you for the rest of the day

SKY COME BACK

WHO'S GONNA ENTERTAIN ME

I'M STUCK AT THE LIBRARY

IT'S SO BORING IN HERE

THE OLD LADY IS GIVING ME WINKY FACE

Help me Sky pls

fine I'll just sleep

THANKS SKY

LOVE YOU TOO FUCKTARD

AND I'LL SEE YOU ALL IN DETENTION MOFOS