He's alive, was the first thought that passed through me.

My heart clenched as I continued to stare at the young Tyler, who now, is called Evans.

After I came to the terms that he was well alive, I ran out of his room and told Erin I wasn't feeling well and that I'd walk home.

I couldn't handle being in her house at the moment.

The walk home took less than ten minutes, and right when I stood in front of the front door, I unlocked it and ran upstairs when I closed the door behind me.

I'm so stupid, I repeatedly told myself.

As a kid, I always knew Tyler had a younger sister, but I never got along with her. They were both born the same year but he was born towards the beginning of the year. Erin was born on December.

That's why they were always talking to each other. They're siblings.

A trail of tears left me, and I didn't bother swiping them away. I let them fall.

I pulled open my night stand drawer and grabbed the photo of Tyler and I at his house a month before my dad broke the news to me that we'd be leaving.

I clenched the photo to my chest and lied down flat on my back, just staring at my ceiling as memories that I thought were long gone came back.

My dad arrived home like clockwork at seven o'clock, but I stayed upstairs, claiming that I needed rest, which he was happy to give me.

When school came the next day, I avoided Tyler like the plague for reasons I still don't know why.

I guess it's still hard to believe that he's alive after all this time.

On Friday, I woke up, excited that I had the weekend not to have to worry about avoiding Tyler's intense gaze.

As I was changing into black leggings, something Claire said crept back to me.

People call him Evans. Not his first name, obviously. He once attacked this person from calling him it.

Why is Tyler so against people calling him by his first name?

After I threw on a thick sweater over my head, I jogged downstairs and put on some running shoes.

"Sweetie, it's a little cold today, put on a jacket," my dad said from his seat by the table and I groaned.

"By cold do you mean ten degrees? It's fine. This sweater will be enough for me," I said, hoping to reason with him, but by the way he put his phone face down on the table in front of him to glare at me, I took that as a sign that I had to wear a jacket.

I blew out a puff of air just as I noticed a grilled cheese on a plate left for me. "Thanks dad," I grinned as I made my way to the dish.

After ripping a napkin, I put the grilled cheese on top of it, and folded it safely inside before facing dad. "Let's head out?" I asked, and he nodded as he shut off his phone.

In less than five minutes, we were parked outside of the school, and I slapped my hands together to get the crumbs off of my hands.

Dad cringed. "Now it's on the floor."

My lips tightened. "Sorry dad," I said before leaning over the center console to kiss him on his cheek.

"See you after school," I threw over my shoulder just as I opened the door to let myself out.

As I walking nearing the schools door, I noticed Claire looking around the parking lot. "I hope you were looking for me," I joked as I began to near her.

She laughed awkwardly but looked over my shoulder. "Actually, I was looking for Evans."

My brows furrowed, but hid my confusion so I could ask some questions about what she knows about him. "Were you guys a thing?"

Claire laughed. "I wish. But to my knowledge, Evans has never had a girlfriend. He's just in Soccer to play it. Not pick up girls," she said, reminding me that he, to this day still loves that sport.

Although his accident was my fault, I wondered if he ever resented soccer after the crash.

"Maybe he's gay," Claire suddenly said out loud, pursing her lips. "But he checks out girls so that's probably not the case."

I sighed. She doesn't know anything.

"Why do you ask?" She asked, looking directly at me.

Automatically, I bit my lip. "No reason. Just curious."

Claire's eyebrows furrowed. "Okay. Let's just head to class."

➸

After my History period finished, Erin and I both headed to the cafeteria, where we both bought pasta.

When we were seated, we both ate in silence but my mind was filled about how different Erin and Tyler looked.

Erin fashioned freckles that were dotted all across her nose and were slightly on her cheeks, but I hadn't noticed previously because she was constantly wearing foundation.

Unlike Tyler, Erin had bluish grey eyes that came from her mother's side, unlike Tyler who had a mahogany eye color.

"Where's Claire?" Erin asked as she took a forkful of the pasta from her bowl.

I shrugged. "No idea. Probably at the library or something."

Suddenly her phone rang with a notification from her bag, and she placed her fork down to reach her phone.

"Sorry it's from my brother. He's wondering where I am," she explained as she quickly typed back a reply.

This was my opportunity. "Evans is your brother right?" I asked, and she looked up from her phone.

"How do you know? Not a lot of people know that we're related honestly," she admitted as she placed her phone down on the table.

"I didn't realize it before, but when they announced the party by the soccer field, they said it was at Evans house. And when we were at the party you said you lived there so I took a guess," I tried to explain, and by the way she nodded in understanding, she believed my story.

"Yeah we're related. You're not gonna like... fan girl right now, right?"

A scoff left me. "Why?"

Erin rolled her eyes before lifting up her fork again. "Most girls are too faced. And they all love my brother. They dig the whole anti-social thing."

"Why is he so anti-social anyways?" I asked fast, and I internally cringed by how I ended up sounding.

She sighed, ready to respond but when her eyes looked up from behind me, she stopped. "What?" I asked, turning around my seat, only to face someones crotch.

My eyes widened, and I looked up to see Tyler staring at the both of us casually. "Hi," he said lowly, and my heart thumped.

Tyler looked away from Erin and gazed into my chestnut brown eyes. "Hey... Mandy," he said slowly with a small smile on his lips, and my hands fiddled with each other under the table.

I didn't even notice that I hadn't responded until Erin kicked me from under the table. "Hi Evans."

After I answered, I turned back to my food and released a shaky sigh. "Go away dude," I heard Erin tell him but he didn't answer.

Instead, all I heard was the sound of his feet moving away from us.

"So weird," Erin mumbled under her breath, and I looked up at her with furrowed brows.

"What?"

"It's just... you and him," she said but that didn't ease my confusion.

"There's nothing going on with us," I said slowly, and she sighed.

"He rarely pays any attention to girls, to see him just greet you blows me away. Honestly thought he was gay and has been in the closet since he was ten years old."

I choked on a laugh and stabbed the pasta with the fork, trying to keep my mind off of Tyler and his weird behavior.

➸

When we finished with eating, the warning bell rang so we separated ways.

Once I was inside my English classroom, I noticed by the far corner of the room that Tyler was sitting by himself, texting someone on his phone.

My heart rate sped up slightly as I took my seat by the front of the class.

After that, the rest of the school day went by smoothly until I was at my locker, unpacking my bag before I headed home.

"Hi," a cheerful voice said next to me, and I closed my locker before spinning around.

"Hey," I greeted Claire and she smiled.

"Since you refused to join book club, you have to make it up to me by going to our nearest book store," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

I shrugged. "As long as we're not in there for more than thirty minutes, sure. You have your car here?"

Claire nodded eagerly. "Yup, let's go!"

Ten minutes passed until we were parked in front of a large store with the name of Chapters.

When we got inside, Claire ran into each isle as though she's looking for someone instead of something.

Groaning, I headed to the back of the store, where they had couches and some some comics — which I remember from when I used to come here with Tyler and he'd live for those.

I saw the piles of comics right when I was nearing the end of the store, and smiled brightly as I began to head to them.

When I lifted up the one on top of the pile, I heard someone sneeze by one of the couches, and by curiosity, I looked up, only to see Tyler reading a novel with his black framed glasses on.

My mouth parted slightly, hypnotized by the sight in front of me.

Tyler was always a bigger fan of books than I was as a kid, but I never thought he would keep this habit up until high school.

His tongue peaked out and licked his lower lip as he flipped the next page, and my breath was caught in my throat.

As if Tyler sensed somebody's eyes on him, he looked up from his book and his eyes met mine.

His eyes widened a millimeter, so discreet that no one would notice he was surprised, but I knew he was.

Without thinking twice, I rushed to one of the far isles filled with horror novels to calm my beating heart.

Every time his eyes met mine, a wave hits me with happiness and despair.

Happiness because I know he's finally alive, but despair filled me further because of not being able to tell him over the fear of him hating me for what I've caused him.

My name is called suddenly, and in fear of it being Tyler, I hung my head low.

"Come on A, let's check out," Claire said next to me, and I looked in her hands and saw her holding a single book.

Looking slightly higher, I noticed a small pout on her lips. "What's wrong?"

She sighed and began walking out of the isle. "I can here looking for something, and turns out it's not here."

My lips tightened. "Sorry Claire."

Claire shrugged a single shoulder as she turned to head into the line. "It's alright."

➸

When Claire finished her purchase, we headed back to her car and she dropped me off at home.

The rest of the weekend was well spent, involving me on the couch, watching dozens of films I managed to find that were actually good.

When Monday came by, I was woken up by the sound of the 7.30am alarm ringing.

Once I've shut it off, I stared up to my ceiling, scared to face Tyler once again.

I didn't even notice that I began day dreaming until something was thrown on my head. "Amanda, you have to get ready, now!"

Checking the time on my nightstand, I noticed that ten minutes passed since my alarm rang. Cursing silently, I moved away the sweater dad threw at me and got out of bed. "Sorry dad," I shouted over my shoulder before slamming the bathroom door closed behind me.

I dressed myself in sweats once again — because comfort is key to a happy person — before heading downstairs to eat my dad's infamous waffles.

I managed to finish eating a single waffle before my dad threw a jacket at me, telling me to put it on before leaving the house in his three-piece suit.

Grumbling a few curse words, I stood up from the table and put on the jacket before grabbing my school bag and heading out as well.

"I'll be late again today sweetie," he said once we were both in the car.

I nodded. "Okay. About the case again?"

He didn't respond until my school was in view. "Yeah," he sighed.

The rest of the ride to school remained silent, and in that time, I held the strap of my bag tightly.

Once we were parked by the front of the school, I opened the door a crack. "Bye dad," I smiled before fully stepping out.

Right when the door closed, I began walking to the school. "Amanda, wait!" I heard my dad shout behind me, and I turned around to see him leaning over the console of the car so he's close to the now open passenger window.

I walked closer and he handed me forty dollars. "For dinner tonight," he explained, and I nodded before grabbing the cash from his hold.

After thanking him, I turned back around but my eyes immediately caught Tyler's extremely wide gaze.

He looked back to my father, then to me with the same expression before finally settling his gaze on me.

Although there was a large distance between us, and lots of different voices from the students around us, I was able to read what his lips said next.

"Amanda?"

➸